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 QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
 
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,962
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 3 months, 9 hours
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 Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed.  [Re: MOTH]
#3863668 - 03/03/05 04:35 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Im still here with you ellemy. Ive made it through today so far without smoking. Im sure you read my bust thread. Thats my reason not quite as noble as yours but Im still feeling down and out. I may have trouble sleeping tonight. Im on my way to my first NA meeting and on my way back I will probably pick up a bottle of melatonin. Just stick with it. In a week I guarantee you will feel so much better.   take care and stay away from that dope for a little while if you really feel like you did on the first post on this thread. I felt like that for about two years now I could never conjure up the will power to quit thats how week willed I was. I eventually progressed to become and alcoholic then became dependant on benzos for a couple months and now am facing the long arm of the law. Im not saying this would ever happen to you. Your probably older and more responsible then me but its still good for your self esteem to quit something you think you are no longer enjoying.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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 Psychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
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 Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
#3863755 - 03/03/05 04:53 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well, are you quiting for yourself, or for another purpose, (girlfriend, job, forced to etc..). Dunno, to me it isn't such a bad thing provided you can do it and sustain your life. Too often have I read many posts blaming drugs for their issues, might their be something else perhaps the monotony in your life that's causing the issue.
Don't be so focused on it, but realize that it isn't your issue at hand. Maybe change your lifestyle (Note: I'm not telling you to go spark one up and give in, but maybe refocus the "issues" that you have, as more often then not when someone is on drugs they tend to blame the drugs for their problems).
Hope it was constructive. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
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"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 16 days
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Psychoactive1984]
#3863839 - 03/03/05 05:13 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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I kind of know where you guys are coming from and I kind of don't. I can stop smoking at the drop of a hat (done it like 15 times) but I can't resist fucking peer pressure. My roommate smokes, and sometimes he's like "Let's smoke and play Smash Brothers" and I think to myself "Aren't I stopping smoking?" but stoned Smash Brothers is too damn FUN!
=( Oh well. Quitting really is pretty easy though. Aren't you in school Ellemy? Just take more classes or something. Force yourself to do something else besides sit around. But don't pick shitty classes. Give yourself a semester of good classes to feed off of.
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tomk
King of OTD
Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Psychoactive1984]
#3863844 - 03/03/05 05:13 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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You probably already know I think most potheads are self medicating. If you are, the condition you were medicating is going to come back. This may be depression / anxiety related. So, you may need to see someone about some alternate medication. If you have depression/anxiety and it's biologically based, none of these suggestions are going to make the chemicals in your brain balance right. You should see about getting evaluated for these things.
I mean, consider the possibilities and consequences of each. 1.) Pot is causing your depressive irritable symptoms. In this case, stopping it will be hard and then you will be better. Sometimes people are like this. 2.) You are depressed, and pot is your medication. In this case, stopping may have the same effect on you as any mentally ill person who discontinues their medication. Your symptoms will continue to get worse, even as the undesirable mental clouding from pot goes away.
Because of the way you constantly describe your experiences, you sound like you suffer from ahedonia. This means you don't take pleasure in things. From this I would infer that you are more likely in condition 2, rather then condition 1. Pot is the highlight of your day because everything else is affected by the ahedonia and pot helps with that.
If you are self medicating, and want to quit smoking all the time, you should start a new course of antidepressive treatment, from st johns wart to psychopharms, before stopping the pot. These usually take a month to work.
Also, realizing you are self medicating will change your smoking habits. If you realize you are self medicating, you can experiment with what dosages and times help you most while minimizing the clouding effects. It sounds like your problem might be you are self medicating with pot but not treating it like medicine. This doesn't mean stopping is the right choice, but finding a schedule that works and sticking with it. I.e. treat it like medicine and not as a recreational activity.
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"I am eternally free"
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Divided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 13 days
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: tomk]
#3864241 - 03/03/05 06:32 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Stick with it Ellemy, think: what would Jean Luc do?
Although you may find that weed was glossing over problems you had, I think it's more likely that you are just having a withdrawl and your mind is conjuring up anything it can to get you to start toking again. It will entice you telling you how many problems you have, how good weed is, etc. Know that these are just little tricks your ego will play in the short term while you are readjusting. Feeling low for even a few months after quiting weed is NOT unusual, and I believe may have a phsyiological basis, not just a psychological one. Just keep it up and you'll feel better. Like any trip it take time to get comfortable with the state of mind you are in. I think in time you'll be glad you did.
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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: tomk]
#3864281 - 03/03/05 06:39 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Awesome post, tomk. You bring up a lot of points for me to consider. Yes, I do think I was self-medicating. I've been on pharms before for mental disorders and I got so sick of the endless search for the perfect drug with no side-effects that I just gave up.
I especially like this point you made:
Quote:
It sounds like your problem might be you are self medicating with pot but not treating it like medicine.
I think you might have hit the nail on the head...
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Divided_Sky]
#3864303 - 03/03/05 06:43 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Divided_Sky said:
Stick with it Ellemy, think: what would Jean Luc do?
Oh, hehe, that made me smile.  I know he'd encourage me in his aloof yet gentle way to keep at it.
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tomk
King of OTD
Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3864617 - 03/03/05 07:31 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Ahem.
I'm sorry, Elle. I think you are wrong in a way that reveals John Luc does not belong in your profile. Elle does not belong to a culture that has discovered warp drive technology. As a starship Captain, Picard is obligated to follow the prime directive. The prime directive, um, directs that no interference is to be brooched upon cultures that have not discovered warp drive technology. Ergo, Picard would be neither aloof nor gentle, and would not issue any advice. Were it in my power, I would rip the image out of your avatar, you obviously are faking star trek fandom.
It might be good to continue your break for a few more days and then re-evaluate where you are at. Then, you can re-learn your relationship with pot by treating it with the respect it deserves. When you smoke tons of it, it doesn't like that. When you use it in directed ways (to enhance nature, art, life) it does like that.
Really though, I don't think pot is a great treatment for ahedonic symtpoms. It has low side effects but makes the condition bearable. Maybe a lot of the people who quit become more motivated to treat their ahedonic symptoms.
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"I am eternally free"
Edited by tomk (03/03/05 08:09 PM)
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Psychoactive1984
PositiveCynicist
Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 3,546
Loc: California, Monterey Coun...
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: tomk]
#3864760 - 03/03/05 08:04 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well, personally, everyone self medicates to a degree, it's the degree to which you self medicate that is the issue at hand. The importance of this, is to find the reaoning to the self medication, not get rid of the form.
If you're happy (which I believe you are by the nature of your original post) with using, then don't stop yourself. But, never blame a drug on your issues, just like someone who is fat can't blame the food for their dilemma, or an alcoholic can't blame the alcohol, or a pr0n addict can't blame the pr0n (had to type pr0n).... the issue most certainly isn't the substance, it's the bahavior and the feeling that you associate it with.
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"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.
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TinTree
thread killer(semi pro)
Registered: 02/15/04
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Mu
Last seen: 15 years, 15 days
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: Psychoactive1984]
#3865515 - 03/03/05 10:36 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Today marks a week without pot for me.
I feel good, I wake up feeling alert, and I accomplish more during my day. I am starting to feel creative again while sober; that, for me, was the worst side effect: while I was very creative while high, as soon as I was sober again I couldn't think of a single damned idea. This was becoming a problem, as a design major.
Keep it up, EllemyShade!
You likely need some sober time to consider the role of marijuana in your life, whether for medicinal, recreational, creative, or spiritual purposes. I find that many (non-recreational) cannabis users do not consider dosage carefully enough in their use. One or two hits of fine buds in the morning (particularly sativa-dominant strains) may brighten your day and make you more alert and mindful, energized for work, exercise, or active pursuits. On the other hand, hitting the bong at noon is likely a recipe for a day spent eating potato chips, watching daytime television, and napping.
In any event, going on hiatus from weed provides a new perspective. Cannabis is a psychedelic, and just like mushrooms or acid, you don't want to abuse it, or you will find yourself in a lonely, confused, depressed, or otherwise unpleasant headspace. In the meantime, go for a bike ride, or paint a picture, grow a plant, play an instrument, learn a dance, or do whatever it is that puts the magic in your life.
Best of luck!
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"I'm afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery."
- Aldous Huxley
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: tomk]
#3866012 - 03/04/05 01:02 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
tomk said:
Ahem.
I'm sorry, Elle. I think you are wrong in a way that reveals John Luc does not belong in your profile. Elle does not belong to a culture that has discovered warp drive technology. As a starship Captain, Picard is obligated to follow the prime directive. The prime directive, um, directs that no interference is to be brooched upon cultures that have not discovered warp drive technology. Ergo, Picard would be neither aloof nor gentle, and would not issue any advice. Were it in my power, I would rip the image out of your avatar, you obviously are faking star trek fandom.
Well, in my mind I'm on his starship with him, in a different time and place. 
Thanks guys.
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tomk
King of OTD
Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 1 month
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3866705 - 03/04/05 05:50 AM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
EllemyshShade said:
Well, in my mind I'm on his starship, locked in his private chambers, and the captain, who is part borg, is servicing me with his enhanced borg bits, in a different time and place.
Anyhow,
I didn't smoke any pot yesterday. I woke up and feel like I smoked a shit ton before I went to bed last night. It sucks to not smoke but I quit because I stopped getting high. I smoked an bowl at work and I couldn't tell if I was high or not. So, time for a breather.
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"I am eternally free"
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Divided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 13 days
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: tomk]
#3867820 - 03/04/05 12:58 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
tomk said:
I'm sorry, Elle. I think you are wrong in a way that reveals John Luc does not belong in your profile. Elle does not belong to a culture that has discovered warp drive technology. As a starship Captain, Picard is obligated to follow the prime directive. The prime directive, um, directs that no interference is to be brooched upon cultures that have not discovered warp drive technology. Ergo, Picard would be neither aloof nor gentle, and would not issue any advice. Were it in my power, I would rip the image out of your avatar, you obviously are faking star trek fandom.
Don't listen to this guy.
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1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."
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freddurgan
Techgnostic
Registered: 01/11/04
Posts: 3,648
Last seen: 11 years, 16 days
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: tomk]
#3868539 - 03/04/05 03:17 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
tomk said:
I smoked an bowl at work and I couldn't tell if I was high or not. So, time for a breather.
Yeah it is.
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: freddurgan]
#3877490 - 03/06/05 01:59 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Whew, what a crazy weekend!!
I spent the past few days at a cabin on the lake with my in-laws and husband. We all took an eigth of mushrooms and had a great time! I had a chance to reevaluate my life and all that stuff. Coming down, everyone was smoking, but I didn't give in! I simply said, "no thank you," and that was that. I did do some whippits with the shrooms.
So wow, I feel great. No toking for almost a week...can't believe it's almost been a week! The 3rd day was the most difficult...almost had a nervous breakdown or something. But now I LOVE being sober. Love it. I can make it the rest of the way for sure now. I feel so alert and I have so much energy it's ridiculous.
Thanks for the encouragement! It REALLY helped!
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3882418 - 03/07/05 12:28 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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After my great day, I ended up toking the weed.
I went 6 days, so I thought "I deserve it." That's the thought that gets me every time.
But this morning I have such a pot hangover that I think it wasn't worth it.
At least I know now. I'm going for at least 7 days this time. Step by step.
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Sterile
mushroom lover
Registered: 03/16/01
Posts: 2,529
Loc: under the Amanita
Last seen: 14 hours, 42 minutes
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3883098 - 03/07/05 02:59 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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lol! Ummmm,well, you must saturate yourself with THC untill your thirst for weed vanishes completely.
Use it untill you really don't feel like using it anymore. Its the only way to see things vividly.
The truth lays on the edges.
It is foggy between the edges,. It is better to experience 100% of what each phaze has to offer you.
Only then, you can benefit the most out of your experiences.
Live your life-break your limits-don't perpetuate mildness
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The Source Of The Force
Is The Power Of The Mind
"if you don't like what you're doing, you can always pick up your needle and move to another groove." - timothy leary"
Anno: "-I can do anything with those clouds!"
Annos Tek
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question_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3883752 - 03/07/05 05:44 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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I knew you were high when you made your post about sailboats. I knew it. I knew it just from reading it.
I'm so disappointed in you Michelle.  Nah, come on, I'm just kidding... It's a good lesson to learn I think, this thing, is that writing something, typing out a promise, it doesn't help one iota. It's just as useless as a spoken promise. The promise has to be made from deep down in a firey heart, and renewed every minute you got the opportunity to partake. It felt soooo good I bet, that stone after 5 days in exile, feels like heaven. And then you say to yourself eh fuckit, I'll just really start...right...now, and you laugh at yourself in a skitzophrenic sort of way.
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youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs
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MOTH
Wild Woman
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: question_for_joo]
#3883969 - 03/07/05 06:28 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
question_for_joo said:
I knew you were high when you made your post about sailboats. I knew it. I knew it just from reading it.
I'm so disappointed in you Michelle. Nah, come on, I'm just kidding... It's a good lesson to learn I think, this thing, is that writing something, typing out a promise, it doesn't help one iota. It's just as useless as a spoken promise. The promise has to be made from deep down in a firey heart, and renewed every minute you got the opportunity to partake. It felt soooo good I bet, that stone after 5 days in exile, feels like heaven. And then you say to yourself eh fuckit, I'll just really start...right...now, and you laugh at yourself in a skitzophrenic sort of way.
haha! No, I actually wasn't high when I made the sailboat post...although I might have still been feeling my buzz from last night.
I am trying to take baby steps here with weed!
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question_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
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Re: Refinding my path - letting go of the weed. [Re: MOTH]
#3884003 - 03/07/05 06:36 PM (18 years, 3 months ago) |
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you sounded so enthusiastic, you must've at least been high when you were watching yer sailboat movies, or thinkin about yer sailboats. hehe. anyway. I still love you. The babysteps idea might work for you. Then again it might not.
My suggestion would be leave it out of your control. Put it in a lockbox, give yer hubbie the key, and tell him to ration you one nug a week. YOu can always beat him up and steal the key like a crack fiend if the cravings get too intense 
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youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs
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