Crap glad to hear that dude, god damn does medical shit just give me so much stress and anxiety. Happy to hear you dodged this

fiddle_head said:

confessing it's nice to be able to count on a colleague for solid advice when you're having trouble finding your footing. life finds a way.

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Sounds like you found a real one bro, might need to upgrade em to a friend one day

BeefExtreme said:

Biopsy was clean yall.  No cancer.  I got some fucked up skin but not cancer presently

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bro YESSSSSSSS.

bloodssonnew said:

Edit. On a nother note here's some wubs.

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Now this is the kind of sickness I'm here for


Related confession: picked up a geek bar, gonna be annoying to try and quit this in a month, more annoying if I don't. I know I should feel guilty and a bunch of other things, I quit for a reason and worked hard to stay clean for years. But sometimes we just decide to do dumb shit we shouldn't cause it feels good.

Complicated feelings there. I don't actually regret it yet. Fuck it.

Slept through my alarm cause I knocked my phone off the charge pad in my sleep and it died. Usually I'd get an eyeroll but woke up to a writeup. We're going into perf review season and I'm grown enough to know a weaponized papertrail when I see one. Plus some other shit went down recently and I heard two people on my team got a bonus attached, I just got boilerplate paperwork. Not mad at at it, if I were in charge, I'd have done the same, my shit's weak lately. I didn't even tell my boss I'm going to burning man, I just put "Ras in Nevada" on the calendar for 6 days and saw he accepted a few days later . My avoidance is indistinguishable from confrontation/disrespect sometimes, even to me.

Talked to my main man at work about how maybe it's time I read the room and start havin some candid talks about what it looks like to bow out with grace. But he talked me off the ledge, had nice things to say about how my boss is out of line, saying he wants X Y Z done but then shooting it down when the work comes from me cause he doesn't like changes he doesn't feel in control of. I see both sides. That's true, but so are all the bad things boss would say about me.

Being so aligned with mushcult gives me a north star I'm grateful for, like, oh that's what it feels like to be engaged, and motivated, and curious, and joyful. Why tf wouldn't I search for greener pastures that have me in that mode instead of stressing and spinning tires in my head all day.

Plus my guy was talking about how he feels the same way, spinning wheels and sweating whether he's productive enough, which is crazy, he's top dog, gettin bonuses he didn't even ask for and shit. And I'd never have guessed. Funny how different things can look from the outside.

My job is my job and my life is my job too. I'm turning my back on a company to pay attention to the shit that I care about more. If that has consequences, okay.

Choose your suffering or life will choose for you, or something.

BeefExtreme said:

Biopsy was clean yall.  No cancer.  I got some fucked up skin but not cancer presently

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Fuck yeah dude!

My dad was riddled with it from about the age of 40; I've been meaning to get checked since I turned 40 and finally did a couple months ago- 12 years later. Full body scan, all my crazy moles are OK, but one dry patch on my cheek was def pre-cancer. Got that taken out, going for a re-check in a month but not worried now. I was sure they were going to go, "sorry Bluescreen, you have 3 months...".

You must feel like a million bucks

And guess what? You mentioned something about it here months ago, and that made me say fuck it I'm scheduling an appointment finally. So thanks, a lot!

BeefExtreme said:

Biopsy was clean yall.  No cancer.  I got some fucked up skin but not cancer presently

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BeefExtreme said:

Biopsy was clean yall.  No cancer.  I got some fucked up skin but not cancer presently

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bloodssonnew said:

Edit. On a nother note here's some wubs.

I confess I stole a pack of sigs n a lighter today n feel slightly like a piece of shit. Same time il pay for it in a week at the store I stole it from evin if they blacklist me

Today lwk made me hate people again.

Ain't gonna talk about it though I got a lot to work through man.

Got my pride hurt because I expected a minor amount of respect from someone and practically got shat on over something petty. Might Nora been they're goal though the way someone words something with me in my eyes is very important

Made me feel my efforts where not noticed or appreciated n my happiness is gone just like that. Whole day i been fucked off mentally wanting to do wrong.

Looks like I need more anger management

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Churpee Choozle said:

BeefExtreme said:

Biopsy was clean yall.  No cancer.  I got some fucked up skin but not cancer presently

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Fuck yeah beef. Enjoy the fucking crap out of that shit. Being healthy is a huge fucking privilege and we all deserve it.

Edit: and a confession, I'll be sampling ingeli for the first time in the coming days. Or at least that's the plan. Tonight the kids are going to their mom and I'll be smoking the first doob in 2+ weeks, no need to addle that any further.
But after all this 'ovoids ovoids yeah ovoids', it's time to get into unchartered territory again. Sail off the map. Cats will absolutely be a necessity, and sadly I'm not in the cat ownership business anymore, so I'll have to find a trip-friendly, cat-inhabited place, which will not be a problem.

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