Control freaks, respect, damage, and progress

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Cyric
Master of Time and Space

Registered: 07/12/06
Posts: 340
Loc: Outer Shpongolia
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months

Control freaks, respect, damage, and progress

#10717214 - 07/21/09 09:35 PM (17 years, 3 months ago)

The last two years of my life have been fraught with the absolute most genuine peril.

However, only this particular weekend that just passed, I realized where my deepest problems stem from.

For about five years, I've allowed myself to be victimized of a complete control freak.

It's my own fault, I allowed my mind to be enslaved.

Somehow, I didn't know. It's so stupid, and I feel so naive for allowing it to happen.

The reason I've made progress in my life recently, is because somehow I've been able to identify this issue, although the person in question is a master of manipulation and was able to mask it incredibly well.

How the fuck did this happen?

I can look back now and recall every single incident that led me in the wrong direction. My trust was in the wrong place.

Now that I've been down ALL of the wrong paths, I've seen the things that I need to see to move to the next step.

Our lives are like giant interlocking rings, each ring containing a maze that we must traverse. Once we get to the next one, everything moves around to disorient us, and sometimes we fall back into the same ring whilst thinking we moved to the next.

The only real way to tell that we've actually moved to the next is when we've fallen enough times.

The reason this happens is because people have failed to remember what the true aspect of respect is. It's always a two way street, and it seems more people are more willing to receive than give.

This is the primary problem.

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Kickle
Wanderer

Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 19,554
Last seen: 2 months, 6 days

Re: Control freaks, respect, damage, and progress

[Re: Cyric]
#10718443 - 07/22/09 01:47 AM (17 years, 3 months ago)

I'd disagree.
There is no problem in growing.

In an abusive relationship -- whether verbal or physical, there is a lot of manipulation going on.
But it is manipulation of specific qualities, which exist only in certain individuals.
Those qualities seem to draw people together, for, in my opinion, the purpose of growth.

My clinical psychology professor described what she feels is the spiral of learning.
A woman is in an abusive relationship, and it is causing her quite the distress.
She leaves the relationship, deciding it isn't in her best interest.
She enters a new relationship, and finds herself in nearly the same situation!
It's like she's destined to be abused, and no progress was made by leaving the prior relationship.
But she realized that she was being abused much sooner this time, and that she again wanted out.
And so it goes, continuing for as long as need be. Each time, the delay before abuse is noticed is shortened.
And shortened some more. Until the real reason surfaces.
At that point, the relationships shift.
Whatever was underlying in her, whatever was trying to get her to learn, has been dealt with.
The growth has been accomplished.

Life is growth, and as long as we are alive, we will be urged to grow.
You can resist it if you want, but it's going to be persistent :lol:

--------------------
Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction?
Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain