>> AH, but what if one is aware of such a mental process in ones mind, but one can not seem to overcome. Is it because that person thinks that it is something that they must overcome that they become frustrated?
Patience is the biggest factor in this type of scenario. We need to be patient with ourselves and our present capacities, and be willing to accept the outcome of any situation. Patience is a mind that does not expect things to be different from how they are in a given moment. Concientousness, however, wishes to effect gradual change. If we are becoming frustrated or discouraged with our mental habits, we are undermining our ability to oppose them. These too are mental habits which must be dispelled. Patience and concientiousness build a powerful practice.
In Buddhism, there is a difference between mindfulness and awareness. There is a formula for training in transforming bad mental habits. The difference between mindfulness and awareness will come clear throught the explanation of the forumla. This formula is highly effective, and I'm pleased to have this opportunity to share it.
Let's say we wish to dispel the mental habit jealousy. We've recognized that we are often covetous toward our friends and neighbours, even becoming irritated with those we like simply because they have certain good fortune that we do not. Instead of being delighted in their happiness, we are feeling hatred. We've recognized that hatred is uncomfortable and unproductive, and have the wish to change this trend. Having encountered a virtuous wish path, we must follow it if we are to have success.
This forumla has four parts.
Intention - The first thing we must do each morning when we get up is make an intention in our minds. When we lift our head from our pillow, we say "Today, I will oppose the mind of jealousy, and take delight in the good fortune of all those I encounter -- friends, enemies, strangers alike." If we have a morning meditation routine, it's help to bring this intention to the coushin. We understand and have resolved to have patience with jealous minds which will appear throughout the day, and we make the intention not to be consumed by jealous minds as they arise.
Mindfulness - We do not forget our intention. If we are mindful, we have kept our intention clear and present in our minds. We contemplate throughout the day "when a jealous mind arises, how exactly will I oppose it?" We hatch plots to undermine these minds which have been guiding us to unhappy places. We may even place reminders for ourself around our home or work environment, so that we do not forget the disadvantages of the jealous mind, and consistently recall the advantages of being free from it. It is okay to forget our intention at first. If we recognize that we've forgotten our intention, it is an opportunity to cultivate mindfulness by restoring our intention immediately.
Awareness - We are paying close attention to our mind and the way it is functioning. If we have strong awareness, it is like we are sitting atop a lighthouse gazing with our searchlight over the ocean of our mind, looking for any sign of a wayward jealous barge which may smash into our rock. We are aware of our mind and how it's behaving, and are able to recognize a jealous mind when it arises. When jealousy appears, we say "Ah ha! I've been waiting for you, and I know how to handle you." We are not preturbed or discouraged with ourselves for having this mind. We are are able to recognize jealousy when it arises, are prepared to handle it, and are confident in overcoming it.
Concientousness - Concientousness is the mind which confronts the jealous mind that appears. This is the actual training of the mind. If our cowoker arrives with a flashy new Motorolla cellphone and an inexpensive daytime minutes plan, we are able to say "Wow! That's great!" and congratulate him on his good fortune. Although we may feel tight inside because we are experiencing jealous minds, we are not allowing them to dictate our experience; what we say, think, and feel. We are analyzing the mechanics of the mind of jealousy, and using it's appearance to reinforce our renunciation of it. We are ready to begin this training cycle again.
We do this every day until the jealous mind ceases it's appearance entirely.
This is how we train the mind throughout our daily lives. Gen Kelsang Zopa noticed the acronym and now teaches this to his students as the "IMAC" formula. We can select any mental habit we wish and oppose it in this same way. All we must do is have a firm understanding of why it is we wish to oppose the mind we select, be certain that it is a helpful and virtuous practice to engage, and be able to have patience with our abilities. We will most likely not have success the first day. This is okay. Discouragement is a form of laziness. It undermines our practice, and gives the mind an avenue to settle back into it's old habits.
I hope this has been helpful.
>> I only have control over me, my reactions, and my decisions.
This is a quite correct, and quite valuable bit of wisdom.
>>Everyone else can do what they want, but their right to do what they want ends when it begins to affect me. That's where I have control.
Of course it is always necessary to protect ourselves, our safety. If the actions of another pose a threat to us, we need to do what is proper to ensure our safety. If we can do this without harming others, that's favourable. If we cannot, we should at least abstain from killing.
Though, if someone is behaving in a way that affects us undesirably, yet does not pose a threat to our wellbeing, we are in the best position to pacify this situation if we examine the mind, and change our thinking. It is our inner environment which informs us that an individual is beginning to affect us.
>> I think the mindful can handle uncertainty better than the control freak could because the mindful understands that they are, in fact, in control, but of themselves, not of their environment. The control freak is trying to be in control of his extraneous environment, which is always uncertain, instead of his reaction to, and interpretation of, it.
If we check carefully, it is often difficult to discern what is our extraneous environment and what is our internal environment. For example, if someone is behaving in such a way that interferes with us, we may immediately assume it upon ourselves to impose our will upon their actions. After all, they have impacted our inner environment, and that is our realm. But isn't it our mind which decides what precisely is interference? Is it not only us who have control over these perceptions?
It is said that if we are angry, a thousand dancing Buddhas could appear before us, and they would all appear unpleasant. By the same token, if we are content and peaceful inside, a thousand thieves could be stealing all of our posessions, and they would all appear delightful and precious.
>> I agree, though, that the control freak would tend to battle uncertainty. I don't know that the mindful relish uncertainty.
Depending on where we are with our capabilities, we may encounter uncertainty and view it as an excellent opportunity to reinforce our mental stability within given situations. It is a mental habit to become anxious upon encountering uncertainty. If we are willing and capable of opposing this mental habit, and have adopted that as part of our practice, we would delight in the opportunity to transmute uncertainty into an unshakable peace by using it's appearance to deepen our understanding.
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