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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442508 -

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
Would it even be a relationship (with the definition of relationship pertaining to the topic creator's gripe) if there was no emotional commitment?


In reality yes and no, but there are certain ways that lovers act towards each other that friends do not (speaking intimately, sexually), so you present yourself to others as the title of "boyfriend & girlfriend," so as not to confuse the people's perception of you two. Exceptions apply, when you are attempting to pick somebody up--whether it be alone, or together.


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Crystal G]
    #7442513 -

I imagine it'd be tough to keep a relationship like that up for too long before jealousy sets in


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442520 -

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
I imagine it'd be tough to keep a relationship like that up for too long before jealousy sets in


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442531 -

but jealousy is a rather frugal, almost frivolous emotion if you really get down to it, don't you think? "thats mine, this is mine." "this is mine, all mine." unless you are going to use bitter emotions to motivate you to attain something higher, they are just going to hinder you from being content.

besides, sometimes a *little* jealousy is what keeps the fire burning :smile:


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Crystal G]
    #7442548 -

I agree with the second part, but not the first

Somehow the sex was ALWAYS better if we thought the other was cheating

I wouldn't call jealousy frugal, though

If used correctly, it can be a great motivator, and it's not necessarily always a bitter emotion

Actually jealousy is probably one of the most basic human reactions there is, and although the idea of sharing has its perks, an investment is something to be guarded about


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442574 -

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
Actually jealousy is probably one of the most basic human reactions there is, and although the idea of sharing has its perks, an investment is something to be guarded about


I can see where this desire stems from, but one aspect that you forgot is self-preservation. By being mentally independent and exerting self-discipline with potentially negative emotions (IE jealousy, worry), you are also guarding your own stability better than ever before.


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Crystal G]
    #7442596 -

Very true, but it doesn't necessarily work for everyone

You could argue that self-preservation could include the desire for a monogamous relationship, with the narrowing of your emotional investment being the stabalizing point in your life

Jealousy wouldn't even crop up if you trust your partner completely, and even if it did, embrace it, and strive toward what you want

If you have to exert self-discipline, isn't there always the underlying negativity just beneath the surface anyway?


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442615 -

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
Very true, but it doesn't necessarily work for everyone



Yes that is very true; however, for somebody who has a terrible streak of luck succeeding in relationships (e.g. the thread starter), I highly recommend this way of life. You can't go wrong with a good rationale.


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Crystal G]
    #7442625 -

I dunno

It seems like he wants the emotional aspect of a relationship though, so it probably wouldn't work out for him, unless he trains himself not to be jealous

I somehow find that depressing


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442630 -

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
I imagine it'd be tough to keep a relationship like that up for too long before jealousy sets in


That is why relationships of this type only work with emotionally mature people who are respectful of another individual's free will. Crystal G has it right with jealously being such a waste of brainpower. In a relationship like this you won't get far once you start attaching possessives to it.

I am currently in a very open relationship and have had no problems so far. We know our paths in life may not follow the same line forever, which makes us even more grateful for the time we have together now. We realize that a relationship should benefit all parties emotionally, intellectually, as well as sexually. We are both bisexual and very adventurous, so many doors are open in that area.

I don't see how exerting self-discipline pertaining to jealousy or other destructive emotions is indicative of underlying negativity. Those emotions aren't inherently negative or positive the way I look at it. They are merely another chemical reaction in the brain that we must keep in check. The self-discipline learned from keeping them in check makes you a better person in the end.

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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442638 -

more depressing than this? --> hey blkjkrabbit baby, have no fear my dear, for I CrystalG will take you under my wing cause me loves you to pieces, little pumpkin!!! asljfaljfo23315898135S!!! :yesnod: *molesterrs*

You decide. :lol:


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: DNKYD]
    #7442641 -

If you have to make an effort to ignore it must be worth noting


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442661 -

That's just it, though. Those with the emotional fortitude don't have to make a conscious effort at ignoring it. It's like tuning out your neighbor's lawnmower when you're trying to read a book on your deck. Yeah, it may take a few minutes of distraction to block it out. But once your mind has tuned out you are no longer making the conscious effort to not hear the mower.

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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: DNKYD]
    #7442666 -

DNKYD said:
Hyper_Panda_GO said:
I imagine it'd be tough to keep a relationship like that up for too long before jealousy sets in


That is why relationships of this type only work with emotionally mature people who are respectful of another individual's free will. Crystal G has it right with jealously being such a waste of brainpower. In a relationship like this you won't get far once you start attaching possessives to it.

I am currently in a very open relationship and have had no problems so far. We know our paths in life may not follow the same line forever, which makes us even more grateful for the time we have together now. We realize that a relationship should benefit all parties emotionally, intellectually, as well as sexually. We are both bisexual and very adventurous, so many doors are open in that area.

I don't see how exerting self-discipline pertaining to jealousy or other destructive emotions is indicative of underlying negativity. Those emotions aren't inherently negative or positive the way I look at it. They are merely another chemical reaction in the brain that we must keep in check. The self-discipline learned from keeping them in check makes you a better person in the end.


sweet, somebody who thinks alike :thumbup:

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
If you have to make an effort to ignore it must be worth noting


caveman logic


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Crystal G]
    #7442690 -

How?

And I meant it'd depressing that he;s been rejected so much he'd have to make an effort not to care anymore


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442696 -

It would be depressing to have to make an effort not to care. That tells you it's not something you really want to be doing. Why bring unnecessary conflict into your life by trying to suppress emotions that you are not ready, or able, to handle maturely?

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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: DNKYD]
    #7442710 -

It seems like he is, it's just that his luck sucks


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442721 -

I don't think luck has anything to do with it. You either make your intentions clear at the get-go to make things easier for both parties, or you pussyfoot around because of immaturities, social hangups, etc., and bring disappointment to yourself and possibly others. From what I have read of the OP, which isn't much, he seems to be doing the latter.

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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: DNKYD]
    #7442726 -

Hah, I just realized I completely read that wrong

I thought he was taking taken women on dates

Maybe he is side-stepping then, I have no clue

Luck does have a role in relationships


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Re: god send some fucking single girls [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO]
    #7442741 -

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
Luck does have a role in relationships


Then I have yet to discover what that role is. Luck, to me, is just a way of saying "I don't know or cannot justify how this good thing happened to me."

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