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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Fucking. [Re: gnrm23]
    #1805709 -

gnrm23 said:
hogamus higamus, man is polygamous
higamus hogaus, woman's monogamous


That's the stereotype, but honestly, I'm a monogamous guy, as are several guys I've met, and I've met plenty of polygamous girls as well.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Re: Fucking. [Re: silversoul7]
    #1805846 -

This isnt so much about monogamy and sleeping around.

C-Bomb wants to know if you love your b/f or g/f or wife or husband,
-And then you accidently cheat on them, Should you tell?

My answer is no. If you love them (or They love You), i don't think it would be right to drop that bomb on someone that you love or they love you... If love that excists between two people and one of them sneaks around and cheats, all you would do by telling that person about it, is shatter their heart and their soul and their whole world, and ruin the trust that you Once had. They might still love you, but they will never trust you again.

Keep on shroomin, If you dare,
GGreatOne234

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Re: Fucking. [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #1805953 -

I'd have to agree with GGreatOne234 in a couple of ways. If you've cheated but you still adore and love your BF/GF then it is probably best left unsaid. It's amazing how quickly even the most liberal person can suddenly become a puritanical hypocrite once they know you've made a cuckold of them. Of all my married friends (Guys) the consensus seems to be that once you get married you have one "freebie." I guess you'd better make it count. However, I always disagree with them. Which brings up the fact that if there ain't no ring on the finger, maybe it isn't cheating at all. Which also brings up whether or not Marriage is even a viable institution in the first place.

Personally I cheated on a girl by only kissing another, nothing else, but that little cheat has been re-visited on me tenfold since then. Bad Karma. My take on it is that I don't have enough energy to cheat. If my sex life in my marriage sucks then I need to spend my energy working on that instead of wasting my energy courting another girl.

I do know couples that have open relationships and it works. None of those couples is married, but all of them have been divorced before. They all seem happy, but I just feel the tension sometimes in their relationship.

On a side note I got laid for the first time in a year and a half. I had someone in my mind's eye all this time and she walked into my life about a week ago. Very heady stuff right now. Our first date was to eat Mongolian BBQ, and then a shopping spree at a head shop on the same block, back to her place and the rest will remain as details witheld. This is my first lady since my divorce last year.

I can't see cheating as a good thing, and I can definitely see it as a worse thing if you "come clean" and confess. If they won't find out then let sleeping dogs lie.

-RR68


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"Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition."

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Re: Fucking. [Re: RANKSRAGGY68]
    #1806293 -

OK. Say you cheat and not tell anyone, doesn't that make you more prone to cheating in the future. I mean you did it and didn't get caught. Yeah you love who you're with but if other opportunities arise and you know you did it with no problems before doesn't it make it easier?

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Re: Fucking. [Re: CherryBom]
    #1806821 -

ok recently I was involved in a one-night stand.  It didn't start like I wanted it that way, I was interested in the person for multiple sex acts at least :smile: and maybe even a relationship.  By the end of the first date things were so-so and I was sort of disappointed to find I didn't have much connection with the person but I figured hang around for some sex.

And thats cool.  We talked about it later, the buddy sex system was an option and I pursued it a bit but after hanging with her again I decided the sex didn't justify all her annoyances.

She always IM'd me.  I laid low out of IM for a week or so and she went away.

Now I was single at the time and honest so I mean I don't think I have anything to regret.  My thought on one night stands during relationships though is that while they're not the end of the world they are likely a side-effect of a more real problem which will likely end the relationship eventually.  I prefer to cut to the chase and bail at that point if I can't identify/fix that problem.

But then, I'm sort of an anti-romantic I guess.  I don' try to maintain relationships that don't work for me.

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Re: Fucking. [Re: CherryBom]
    #1806831 -

I would expect to be cheated on if she found someone better. That's how the game goes. Or you could just find some chick who would feel too guilty to cheat on you.

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Re: Fucking. [Re: ]
    #1812539 -

Have I told you lately that you're absolutly lovely CherryBom?
Beautifull story


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Monogamy [Re: silversoul7]
    #1816533 -

"Natural"

I think that we as human beings have transcended on many levels what is to be considered "natural". Very much we cannot be lumped into the same category as even our closest genetic relatives, the primates. While they exhibit certain long-standing and automated sexual characteristics, that doesn't necessarily preclude that we must follow suit.

I feel that monogamy, in a perfect world, would be somewhat obsolete. In a world where individuals and groups of individuals were defaulted to a certain trust, there would be no need for the "chains" of monogamy, as it were. Polygamy, then, could be widespread, and, to us, "natural", without allowing for the tensions associated with sharing your emotional connections with many others.

Though, the reality is that not everyone is to be trusted. People can be destructive, self-destructive.

My time at this silly grocery-store Internet Station has wound down.


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:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace

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Re: Fucking. [Re: FrozenHappiness]
    #1816542 -

See, what you are all missing is the story. Maia wasn't looking for a great fuck...she just wanted to go dancing. Things happen, I guess. I'm pretty sure that she doesn't have any regrets and I don't think that her boyfriend will ever, ever find out.

One nite, one love.

Everything is different under the light of a disco ball. On a side note, I'm pretty sure she dried out the roses for safekeeping. On another topic, is it really so very wrong for Maia to appreciate Adam for who he is? A sweet guy, who knew how to get into her soul. They connected....albeit temporairaly.

Because she has a relationship with this other guy, she is cut off from connecting with other males without feeling guilty. This is the way that we live. You tell a teenager not to smoke and they will smoke. You deny...they crave.

You tell a girl who loves life for everything it's worth that she can't explore human connection and she will find a way. It's not fair for anyone involved and that is why there are secrets.

I'm out.


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Re: Fucking. [Re: CherryBom]
    #1816562 -

You're just rationalizing. You wanted to fuck him, you did. Own up to it, if not to your boyfriend at least to yourself.

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Re: Fucking. [Re: CherryBom]
    #1817315 -

It comes down to whether or not the boyfriend is what Maia really wants. Betrayal is a horrible thing mostly for the one who is betrayed, however, the haunting guilt can be a living hell for Maia. If it wasn't wrong for her to do, then why can't she tell her bf?

When the person you are with is the one you want, you do not put yourself in precarious positions. I would love to go dancing without oDin, just a girls night out. However, in respect for him and US I don't put myself in bad positions, that could escalate into something that would be fun, but not good for my long term goal.

Having a fling can be fun and romantic and orgasmic, just as long as you don't comprimise your own morals. What needs to be considered when making the ultimate choice of taking the ride in the car and most of all the letting him into the apartment.

Can Maia really be honest and expect her mate to be honest in their potential future life. If they get married and in 10 years she looks into his eyes and still feels the guilt of betrayal was it worth it? If you are in a committed relationship, cheating is cheating.


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"Everything that limits us, we have to put aside."  Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Edited by annielicious (08/15/03 03:05 PM)

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Re: Fucking. [Re: annielicious]
    #1844380 -

I luv you bom. fuck. when it comes down to it all sex is, really, is fucking. Hardcore fucking. Theres no emotion in it. I think my opinion in the cheating matter is obscured....believe me, I luv miaia for doing it, what if she never had that chance again? what if he was somthing special, something she needed right then? if it was me, I wouldn't tell a soul, he doesn't need to know. Every boyfriend I've had has cheated on me...believe me, its something you'd rather not know about...but on the other hand its something that I think you eventually realize, its human nature...to want what you can't have to crave that attention. I don't blame anyone for cheating, its your choice, your life, at times your life will effect others but it is up to them to choose how to react...I think that it is up to people to do what they need in order to ensure that they are giving and getting what they need for this lifetime, people forget it's their lives here no one elses. You cannot ruin another persons life, only your own....sooo if miaia is ok with it then, maybe thats what really matters....again my opinion is obscured as you all already know.


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~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Fucking. [Re: Gillette]
    #1844585 -

If you make a committment to monogamy and fuck someone else 'on the side' as it were, you are putting not only your own life but your mates life in danger. Condoms break, STDs are around. If my girlfriend gave me aids or herpes or some other permanent shit from cheating Id be right well pissed of to the point Id scare myslef about what I might do...

Not to mention pregnancy. Again, condoms break and birth control is not very effective.

If you cant stay monogamous, dont make that deal to begin with. Thats what monogamy is all about. Complete and total honesty. If you make your own bed fucking lie in it. Be honest like you said you would even if it hurts your mate. Its way uncool to put someones life in danger, do it to yourself but dont drag someone else into it. Only a fool can live their life comfortably being a liar.

Edited by lateralus (08/23/03 11:22 PM)

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Re: Fucking. [Re: CherryBom]
    #1844614 -

Out of all the girlfriends I've had
I cheated on every one of them, except the last 2 I've had.
I should have cheated on the one before 420Girl for all the shit that girl put me through.
I've had many one night stands. I've cheated with women who were married(that shit is NOT the thing to do,you can and will get shot over that shit)I was basically spinning my wheels in life and for some reason it seemed like the thing to do at the time.Most of the time when i cheated on a girl it was by chance.I'd be out an about
see a girl,flirt with her(kinda like fishing for fun,just throwing your line out,not really expecting a bite)and the girl bites BIG TIME!and is like "hey let's hook up". An I'd be like "shit I didn't expect this, but what the hell!"
there are many girls who I don't even know there last name.
I liked all of my past girlfriends when I was going out with them
but I just had a BAD problem with cheating.sometimes I didn't even know why i was cheating. I'd be kissing another girl while in my head I'd be asking myself "what are you doing?"
I have changed alot since I was a teenager
I'm 27 now and have realised I was a big asshole to girls back then,but I also dated ALOT of bitches(had a problem picking the right girls too, kept getting the same bitch just in a different package)and it was kinda fun to have a one up on them that they didn't know about.
I know i don't have to cheat anymore.
but of coure my girlfriend that I have now is very loving and likes to kiss and love on me alot which i never got with other girls
I realise I just needed to find the right person to connect with and everything would fall into place.

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Re: Fucking. [Re: ]
    #1845097 -

I figure I should mention, that I'm not saying I would run around cheating, if it happened it would be an accident, I wouldn't intentionally set out to cheat on someone, I'm just saying I can see why it happens.


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~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Fucking. [Re: Gillette]
    #1845441 -

Personally, i wouldnt be able to live in a relationship if i cheated like that. And if i did, i would immediately end the relationship. If you cheated on someone that you love (or they love you) and they expect you to not cheat, that is just horrible.

It is also gross. It wouldnt have been so gross to 'fuck' with someone else and then break up with the person you cheated on, immediately. So much worse is to drag the lie and sneaking and cheating on, so wrong.

But, this guy that has been lied to and cheated on and sneaked on and treated like shit, he will learn the hard way and his heart will most likely be shattered 20X's more than if the relationship had ended the very night after the innocodent.

It doesn't do much good for this man that has been cheated and lied and snuck around on. It tears my delicate heart right out to know and believe that this is what all women are out to do to men, me at least, that is how i am feeling now, i am far too sensitive of a guy to be treated like that.

If i went out and fucked some stupid new-aged disco-ball lovin lame ecstasy eating thoughtless sack of shit lieing pathetic sneaking cheating Stealing girl, then i would have immediately ended any relationship that had been (the night before) unfortunately broken. But then again i am not slutty-hoe and i have too nice of a heart to do this to any girl (let alone one that you live with and love and want to marry and be with the rest of my life and have kids and grandkids with)

But instead she made it much much worse by attempting to secretly hide this from him and slowly all of the facts emerged (they can't hide over time), and now you have a seriously great guy on this earth that does not trust women. Thanks, you fuckin hoe, go fuck a stupid club faggot and then, well.. fuck you, and go fuck another one and another one the next night too.

He should have never picked a immature girl who uses ecstasy and goes to clubs anyways, and he should have known that.

Im never going to look at this thread again.

Don't keep shroomin, whoever you are  :devil:
GGreatOne234 

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Re: Fucking. [Re: CherryBom]
    #1861827 -

The story you posted was exciting.  Mind you I'm stoned, but the story was well written and the events expressed appeared passionate.

However, that does not change the fact that it also saddened me deeply.  I don't agree with Gillette's view on the matter, in particular that sex beholds "no emotion in it."  To myself, sex is the ultimate emotion - this may be in part due to the fact that I have never experienced sex outside of what has been my perception of love (though opportunities have presented themselves) - but I cannot see myself engaging in such an intimate and almost sacred act on a whim, and would never consider it whilst comitted to another soul and only in the event both parties realized it was merely a fun fuck and nothing more. 

Of course, if you treat sex differently I can understand why Maia acted the way she did.  That's kind of the problem though... 'cause I really don't understand why one would treat sex in such a way :tongue:

Keeping sex ritual to the rare experiences of love (understandably subjective) and only love, provides me with a greater sense of fullfillment and self-satisfaction as well as potentiates the act in itself. 

Unfortunately, my beliefs make the breakup quite traumatic.  Maybe I'm just a dreamer... but I'm confident I will once again feel the love I've felt only once before. 

Moving to the central coast soon though, and I'm feeling very good.  It's good to feel good :stoned:
   


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┼ ··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙·· ┼
...╬π╥ ╥π╬...

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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