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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/09/03
Posts: 19,274
Loc: Rabbit Hole
Funny: New Chemical Element
    #4282767 - 06/11/05 10:35 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the Assistant nutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.  :dumblol:

Republican Values:

1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you.
2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child.
3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer.

4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.

Edited by Diploid (06/11/05 10:55 AM)

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Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc: Flag
Re: Funny: New Chemical Element [Re: Diploid]
    #4282770 - 06/11/05 10:37 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)


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Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
Re: Funny: New Chemical Element [Re: niteowl]
    #4282779 - 06/11/05 10:44 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)



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badger, badger,badger...
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Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 16,286
Loc: Dancing In the Streets
Re: Funny: New Chemical Element [Re: Diploid]
    #4282785 - 06/11/05 10:47 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Very funny.


Got a question about a substance?  Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the  mushroom experience? The  Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before.
I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights.
  - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess

"I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve

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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,955
Loc: the sky
Re: Funny: New Chemical Element [Re: gdman]
    #4282793 - 06/11/05 10:57 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)


niteowl said:


Krishna said:


gdman said:
Very funny.

Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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It's the psychedelic movement!
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Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 30,715
Loc: High pride!
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Re: Funny: New Chemical Element [Re: Diploid]
    #4282818 - 06/11/05 11:07 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)

Wait a minute..................this isn't real.


Mp3 of the month: One Of Hours - Psychedelic Illusions

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Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
Re: Funny: New Chemical Element [Re: Learyfan]
    #4282841 - 06/11/05 11:13 AM (13 years, 14 days ago)

le derrr

All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.

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