DV8DUG said:

I've got you all beat.

I lost my older brother to suicide at age 22. He graduated from Dartmouth mathematics.

I lost my older sister to alcohol approx 15 years later. I raised her kids.

I am an only child now.

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DV8DUG said:

I've got you all beat.

I lost my older brother to suicide at age 22. He graduated from Dartmouth mathematics.

I lost my older sister to alcohol approx 15 years later. I raised her kids.

I am an only child now.

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DV8DUG said:

I've got you all beat.

I lost my older brother to suicide at age 22. He graduated from Dartmouth mathematics.

I lost my older sister to alcohol approx 15 years later. I raised her kids.

I am an only child now.

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This you?



Either way, that's some badass shit, holding everyone together when you are breaking up inside.

0_tonin said:

I see a pattern here.

And makes me wonder: Do non traumatized people, those who seem to have the universe on their side ever become growers of these mushrooms that we all love? Would anyone ever find the need to grow this medicine when they aren´t hurt or broken?

Seems like lots of us here, if not most, have had some kind of traumatizing experience. Wether it´s losing a loved one, substance abuse, violence/abuse, a toxic af relationship, a rough childhood or something along those lines.

Looks like here we can get both things many of us need. The knowledge to learn how to grow and a network of support that listens and cares.

Be proud of yourselves for what you all have created here.

Hugging everyone that shared their stories ❤️

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JoeTherapist said:

Idk 6 hours in line to get into camping after traveling across the country has left me loopy!!!

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DorkWithTheHair said:

"sometimes, I wish I hadn't woken up."

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*kssshh* alright boys we got him move in *ksshh*




Belintaf! I haven’t had the pleasure of making your acquaintance but I’m pumping my spiritual fist reading your response to the grief fest. Eloquent as fuck bruv I never resonated with the “well meemaw, it’s been 2 years since you left us and we-“ type of proclamations. I feel there is a fine balance in the genuine expression of grief vs a shrouded request for validation/assurance.

My mom “left for milk” when I was 15, my dad passed unexpectedly when I was 17, my childhood was full of abuse and shrouded in poverty, my adulthood has been much the same. I believe at a certain point it’s easier to assume that everyone is familiar with these demons than to assume they haunt only me

Life is wild, ups and downs ebbs and flows but we all get each other for the most part I hope, it’s different circumstances sometimes but it’s all the same chemicals in the brain.

Ldk, beef, belintaf, the lot of you, I like your words, keep on keeping on

Crazy world crazy world but the universe is full of surprises! I was surprised to find on my Friday that my employer was committing conversational privacy and wiretapping crimes against my fellow coworkers and customers alike, and yesterday my Monday I was then again surprised to find myself being escorted out of the building by HR with a box of my personal effects. BUT ALAS THE SURPRISES NEVER CEASE. For my ex employer awaits the one true surprise that I recorded all the evidence and made a paper trail of my report to management! And then we can all await the surprise of how much a wiretapping and whistleblower retaliation case settlement is worth these days



Feeling a little manic, feeling a little ROUSED, perhaps, but in all seriousness I’m wishing you all the best in your grief, life can be extra ouchy sometimes but as long as we all got each other to kiss it better sometimes you know the boo boo ain’t so boo boo. Wish me luck as I go through the process of getting a lawyer and all that jazz today, I called up the big baddie lawyer of the headlines for my area yesterday and the intake lady seemed stoked af after I told her my situation, her voice actually got shakey it gave me hope lol. I honestly can’t believe everything happened like it happened it’s soooo textbook whistleblower retaliation its scaring me that I’m missing something, but I think my employer just might actually be prideful/spiteful enough to have completely fucked themselves over just to fire me.

I’ve been seemingly unfavored by the universe so maybe this is their way of apologizing with a $3m settlement, or I’ve just set in motion the domino effect that’s gonna get me slimed out in front of a Safeway for threatening the wrong people.

Either way, keep me in your thoughts and I’ll do the same

Quote:

we all got each other to kiss it better sometimes you know the boo boo ain’t so boo boo.

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I loved it — I think I'm going to put that on a t-shirt.

And yeah — I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you luck, since these "formalities" are usually a huge pain in the ass. Keep us posted on where this spiral of events ends up spitting you out.



There will definitely be more opportunities to share.

Big hug!

Belintaf said:

Good morning everyone.

I'll choose to refrain from making a list of people I've lost, because I don't think it would be therapeutic — and measuring suffering against each other doesn't strike me as elegant, at least not in this context.

If we pay attention — death is a constant. Misfortune isn't really misfortune — it's a constant. And if you lift your head for a moment and look around, it becomes very easy to see that. It's just reality.

I won't downplay grief — but grief, though necessary, is naturally a brief period. Everything beyond that — and by that I mean the endless suffering over loss — carries a very strong egocentric component. We suffer for what we imagine we will no longer have. I'm sorry, but that has to be acknowledged. You suffer for yourself — not for the person who died.

So although I've said this here before — I'll say it again. If you truly want to honor the people whose time ended before yours, drag your suffering ass out of bed in the morning and smile. Live — live your fucking life with appetite and enjoy what you have left. Smile at the people who still put up with you, and smile at those who no longer do. Seize life with every last cell of your body. Only then will you honor the life that those who left once had.

Take a day off. Go get ice cream with your partner, and if you don't have one — buy an ice cream for a stranger. Leave a coffee paid for at the bar for the next person who orders one — give them a small surprise. And smile. Make others smile. Live, goddammit. Live — and that's how you honor them.

People will keep dying, and if it doesn't take you before them — you'll have to swallow that too. That's life. Grieve briefly, and honor with your life — not with your endless suffering over what you won't get to experience.

There are thousands of ways to die, tomorrow or forty years from now — does it matter? Were you given a guarantee? We are survivors, for now. I don't know if by luck or by what the hell else — but here we are.

So live.

Hugs

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