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After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz.
    #25588739 -

About 4-5 months ago I tried mushrooms for the first time. I was with someone I trusted very much (they have done shrooms a dozen times) and thought an 1/8 would be a good dose, and actually ended up doing more than an 1/8 because my 'friend' suggested it (probably around 4g). Afterwards I was told these were incredibly strong and an 1/8 was way too much. I still literally hate myself for taking that many and have much guilt over it.

First third of the trip: Great. We laughed until we cried. It was like the best high off marijuana ever. If that's all mushrooms had been I'd love to do them again.

2/3: I broke down and told my friend about all these things in my life that were going wrong. I cried for what felt like forever. How I hated how much anger I had towards my father and that I hated being that way. How I was afraid of my grandfather dying. How my (just got out of bad relationship) ex was impacting my life and I missed her. I thought maybe this was the 'break through' I had been looking for. After the crying I even yelled at the top of my lungs that my "anxiety was gone" and I truly believed it. Boy was I wrong...

3/3: The come down was what did me in. It started to get dark and I started having mental highs and lows. The peaks and valleys really messed with me. One moment I thought the trip was over and my anxiety would go away and then the next I was thinking I had ruined my brain by taking shrooms. I couldn't help but think of my ex, and my mind was racing in what felt like a billion different directions. I had never felt so overwhelmed by thoughts, fear, stress and emotion. I felt like a car running at 10,000 RPMs, but was but only for 6,000. I literally thought my mind was going to fry and explode. The sun started to set and I started to fear I would get lost in my mind forever. The anxiety and fear interpreted my bad trip in a way that I thought I was losing my mind and I begin to regret my trip. I feared I had ruined my mind forever and had lost it. In fact, I was so afraid to fall asleep because I thought I'd fall into a madness and never come out of it.

The following weeks were tough: I had 2-3 big panic attacks. Attacks that I associated with "ruining my brain...unlocking a new mental illness...that I'd never be the same...that I was losing my mind." I called my ex and told her what happened.

A few months after: I have days and weeks where I don't think about the trip, but my anxiety since has still been the worst it's ever been in my life as well as what feels like bad morning depression. The mornings are the worst. Today in particular my anxiety was horrible waking up and I got back onto the track of thinking, "Those fucking mushrooms did this to me...They've ruined my brain...This anxiety will never go away." Ever since the trip I associate my anxiety with mushrooms- it's definitely a trigger whenever I hear about psychedelics or especially when I read about how mushrooms "can alter your mind in negative way forever or surface latent mental illnesses." I just have this lasting fear that I fucked my brain up and this is how I'll be forever.

I do intend to see a psychologist, but I don't have health insurance. I'm also not sure where to find one that could help me cope with a bad trip - do they exist? At times when my anxiety is gone I feel like a normal guy; hell I even tell myself I'd try them again (I never will) and that I just had a horrible panic attack on my trip and interpret it as "losing my mind and new mental health issues".

I regret the trip fully. I feel so much anger and guilt towards myself for taking them and making my anxiety worse, especially because I took them thinking the trip would "help" my anxiety like I have heard so many times before. I'm angry at my friend for encouraging me to take more than the 1/8th because I put so much trust and faith into him as my trip guide.

It's been a few months and as time passes things get better. I still have bad anxiety and lingering feelings that I ruined myself with this trip. When my anxiety is gone I truly do feel in control and look back on the trip as just a "bad experience". I hope that I'm just having a really hard time separating my anxiety from this trip and that I now associate it with the trip (like an anxious person would). This has all been building up and I'm typing this as my anxiety is in full effect. I needed to share and get this out. I also just want to say be very cautious of trying mushrooms.

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: FloridaTreks]
    #25588800 -

It wasn't the mushrooms, it was your own mind, how you reacted to it, you psyched yourself out lol. Your own thoughts took a good thing and ruined it, and now you wanna blame the mushrooms rather than blaming yourself for not being able to let go/surrender and by buying into silly thoughts.

I will never understand how people can get themselves into thinking they're fucked while on a Psychedelic, the worst thing that's happened to me in my years of Psychedelic experimentation is if i take too much i have to deal with some overwhelming intensity for little bit but i've never allowed my mind to make me think i've "fried my brain" lol. People have too many bad thoughts and assumptions about Psychedelics, they didn't cause your anxiety or make it worse, you made it worse while on the mushrooms. You have unresolved stuff, need to face it and overcome it.

I'd recommend mushrooms again, try 2.5 grams, with 3 to 4 grams of dried Lemon Balm leaf tea, the Lemon Balm will reduce Psychedelic anxiety/stress/fear/panic and will smooth out any intensity during the come up, ime, trust me, Lemon Balm is great and can help you to have another experience so that you can kinda reset things.

So many people misunderstand these substances, they take them improperly and then blame the substance rather than themselves. The substance isn't the issue, the substance is benign and merely a key, it's your mind that's the issue. The Psychedelics merely bring to light what's already there.


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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: FloridaTreks]
    #25588809 -

That's what you get for not informing yourself. You're one of those guys that thought if they can handle weed, they can also handle big doses of shrooms :lol:


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The eyes are useless when the mind is blind

:trippinballs: Candyflipping :omgawesome:

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Sabnock]
    #25588821 -

Sabnock said:
It wasn't the mushrooms, it was your own mind, how you reacted to it, you psyched yourself out lol. Your own thoughts took a good thing and ruined it, and now you wanna blame the mushrooms rather than blaming yourself for not being able to let go/surrender and by buying into silly thoughts.

I will never understand how people can get themselves into thinking they're fucked while on a Psychedelic, the worst thing that's happened to me in my years of Psychedelic experimentation is if i take too much i have to deal with some overwhelming intensity for little bit but i've never allowed my mind to make me think i've "fried my brain" lol. People have too many bad thoughts and assumptions about Psychedelics, they didn't cause your anxiety or make it worse, you made it worse while on the mushrooms. You have unresolved stuff, need to face it and overcome it.

I'd recommend mushrooms again, try 2.5 grams, with 3 to 4 grams of dried Lemon Balm leaf tea, the Lemon Balm will reduce Psychedelic anxiety/stress/fear/panic and will smooth out any intensity during the come up, ime, trust me, Lemon Balm is great and can help you to have another experience so that you can kinda reset things.

So many people misunderstand these substances, they take them improperly and then blame the substance rather than themselves. The substance isn't the issue, the substance is benign and merely a key, it's your mind that's the issue.


This guy has likely hit the nail on the head here. You opened up your mind to unresolved issues and they're now all laid out and you haven't made sense of them and so you've created a sense of foreboding which has resulted in anxiety.

Sometimes tripping with an incredibly level headed person can help you to make sense of these thoughts if you're open and vocal about them.

When I'm tripping and issues come up I'm able to slowly analyse the issues and see them in a totally new way and every single time they get converted into something positive. It doesn't matter if I enter a trip in a foul mood; everything gets resolved in the trip. This wasn't always the case and didn't necessarily happen instantaneously when I started using psychedelics. It can take a bit of practise. Sometimes you need to get used to the headspace before it's of any use to you. And getting used to the headspace means practise and repetition. Try a slightly smaller dose. I usually give friends 3g cubensis to begin with and it's usually the perfect dose. 2.5g could do it too.

It helps to start the trip in a positive, humourous way and the positive headspace snowballs and directs your thoughts for the rest of the trip. I usually recommend putting a light hearted animation on like Monsters Inc or Paddington, just for the come up to introduce a sense of fun and childish comedy to the trip. It works so well I do it often. Once the trip really kicks in you'll naturally stop watching and just do your thinking...but the thinking will come from a more lighthearted place and it's a good headspace to be in when going over serious issues.

If you keep trying and you're getting nowhere then don't continue with a losing battle. You may not be the type of person that gets anything out of psychedelics.

Maybe consider seeing a counsellor too.

It's disgraceful that people can't yet access psychedelic therapy as that would probably be ideal.

Good luck!


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Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back

Edited by MrCraggles (11/03/18 10:59 AM)

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: MrCraggles]
    #25588841 -

For better or worse, here you are. Psychedelics aren’t for everyone, seriously. Everyone’s mind is different. What’s a thrill to one person can put another into months of trauma. I’ve always thought of psychedelics as tools of exploration and periodic, epistemological reorientation for when I get too self absorbed, or sucked into buying society’s bullshit too much. With that said, we have no real cultural context for these things (at least not in the Western world), so they end up being misunderstood, or used  as party drugs, which they can be, at lower doses.

I understand where you’re coming from because I had a terrifying mushroom trip and had to stop for a year. I had to put in work to remedy the issue that had come up for me: a confrontation with my deepest fears, represented as a fearsom entity resembling the Greek god Pan, and an inability to surrender and integrate this. What I wasn’t able to integrate over those harrowing four hours, I processed over many months.

It can be done, but it takes time. But the thing with psychedelics is that for people who don’t have strong and cohesive egos, or sense of identity, they can be very destabilizing. They can leave the ego shattered and create space for unconscious fragments to flood the personality in a peculiar state Anton Wilson described as “chapel perilous.”

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: MrCraggles] * 1
    #25588867 -

I wanted to skip this thread; so many have posted something similar, and the recommendations easily become repetitive BUT, something in this strikes a chord for me.

In particular, one day ~20 years ago, I remember this incident when my daughter collapsed on the couch in our living room to tell me that she is never ever taking mushrooms again. (Later she let me know it was her first time, but it sounded like she had decided to quit something that was regular.)

She was 17 and had had a terrible experience with her friends, and really thought she broke something in her brain by taking the mushrooms. Naturally this made me very sad: although I was not telling my family about my psychedelic interests, I loved mushroom trips and really did not want to think that my daughter was sacrificing her whole life to NO MORE MUSHROOMS! - What a huge waste of life I thought...

I consoled her and a few times when she voiced that "I am never taking mushrooms again", I placated that she does "not have to promise that, It's OK", thinking "gee, I hope this kid does not mean that".


Eventually I realized a few years later that, Indeed, Mushrooms were groovy for me but not for everyone, and that my daughter uses her mind differently than I do for some things, and that while that is her ordinary mind, it has a kind of immediacy and tenacity that does not work well with time dilation, loops, or other sensory distortion while she is awake or standing. Dreams are OK, but in bed only.


So for you, FloridaTechs, I can say it is OK you are exhausted and twisted out of shape, and it is OK that you seek a more continuum of thought friendly life style. Do things in moderation. and if you do Shrooms again, don't smoke weed till you are nearly at baseline. Some kinds of Psychotherapy are accessible - maybe look into Gestalt Therapists in your area. No schools of psychotherapy are drug tolerant, but several are good for helping you relax in the face of life issues that you would prefer to edit but cannot.


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:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: CountHTML]
    #25588906 -

I think everyone who’s posted so far is spot on. I think a lot of people that end up in your shoes have this thought that psychedelics are some magical fix for their psychological ails, when in reality they are merely but a catalyst. It’s up to you to take the information you’re confronted with during the experience and to make sense of it once you’ve come down. Blaming the mushrooms for your trouble is simply not fair. You took the drug, you knew the risks (or should have), and you have to deal with the fallout. In placing the blame on the substance, you’re placing yourself right back at square one. Instead of backtracking, take what you’ve learned about your life and your experiences and make something useful out of it.


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Dreaming of nothing in other colors

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: GizaButler]
    #25589026 -

Sorry OP

This is why when kids come in here posting about how they’re going to take a heroic dose their first time, I tell them it’s a stupid idea

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: mendocino_beano]
    #25589062 -

Man, Shroomery folks killing it with good responses!

First off. Stop regretting taking a large dose. It’s too late, you already did it. Bought the ticket, took the ride.Your not as stupid as you tell yourself, and if you were, you will Definately moderate your doses from now on. Lesson learned. You are now wiser than you were before doing this.

I hate to be the “eat moar shroomz” guy, buuutttt have you at all thought about taking a smaller amount? Maybe 2g alone? Obviously not like right now, let you recover a bit.  but at some point in the future.... maybe? Allow these things to surface and just let them be there for a moment?

Until you gain the bravery to look again so excruciatingly at your own psyche, try writing down what you feel and think about the material that was brought up?

And never call your ex, especially while on drugs. That’s almost always a bad idea.

Edited by Shr00mEater (11/03/18 01:07 PM)

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Shr00mEater] * 1
    #25589552 -

If mushrooms make yout mind liquid, it is up to you to make it flow in the right direction. If you are not careful it can solidify again in a worse state than it started from.

If you have a light & fun trip, it can lift your mood for weeks or months. I'd recommend any begginer to start there, and try to have fun at low doses before going into any higher dose trip with the intention of facing any serious issues.


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Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Inflaton] * 1
    #25589708 -

Every reply in this thread is spot on, really try to take in what these people are telling you because they understand.

I'd lile to add; I think the suggestions to try shrooms again are actually warranted in this case (here we are wary of telling people to go deeper, generally, and for good reason).

I'd suggest tripping again, and preferably in ceremony - with people who understand how to work healing around the effects of this medecine; you have shit you need to deal with and the mushrooms will show you how (you're not always meant to enjoy it fyi).


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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Inflaton]
    #25589723 -

yes all those good advices for people to take every step off the lader..
litle friend you think you melt your brain :laugh: no worries is not like that :laugh: is just normal mess like stuff with your family or loved ones... all i can say is love every person equal "forget" about your "family" share with the people around you and love them. dont hate no person forgive. have dreams and proyects that you love...
if you are in a "developed" country save some money and go backpak into the amazon or something maybe mushroom will find you in other mood...
good luck :laugh:

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Inflaton]
    #25589797 -

Quote:
Inflaton said: If mushrooms make your mind liquid, it is up to you to make it flow in the right direction. If you are not careful it can solidify again in a worse state than it started from. If you have a light & fun trip, it can lift your mood for weeks or months.


Yeah, this is one reason i say to approach it as more of a process, a practice, things unfold as you go along, and if you have a "bad trip" if you are not quick to change course and fight what's happening rather than flowing with it and directing the way in which your headspace and the resulting experience flows, then when the experience is over and your mind settles back down, that trauma can come back with you, but if you go back in and finish going through the process of dealing with whatever darkness was coming up that you were fighting rather than accepting and releasing, or better directing/flowing with the experience and thus have a much better experience, then when your mind settles back down again, that trauma is no longer there.

Psychedelics can heal trauma, and help you recover from PTSD, but in a way they can also cause PTSD if you don't know what you're doing, and so while people think it's not a good idea to take something again that just previously traumatized you, it's actually a multiple step process that needs to be dealt with in that space/state, you could run from it either in that state or while sober, but why spend months or even in some rare cases years trying to recover from a bad trip induced traumatization, when you could just lower the dosage a little bit, maybe add in some relaxative agent if necessary (like Lemon Balm, for example), and go back in to finish off the process that's been started, and come back out with that temporary trauma finally and fully released?

People taking Psychedelics who don't really know anything about them, their own minds take them into dark places and they either fight/resist it or don't know how to navigate and work through it, and then because they come back jarred and freaked out, the ego tells them "hey! don't take that shit anymore! it's a horrible horrible drug, i don't see why anyone would think that is fun", but little do they realize/understand that it's their own minds that has done this to them, they were most likely uninformed about how to properly undergo the experience and something happened or came up to the surface that they weren't prepared to deal with, and because of them not knowing what they were getting into and realizing that it's not all fun and games, it can be challenging and disciplining, it can be fun and amazing or it can be horrible and terrifying, the mind and how you react/respond to what's going on ultimately decides your fate. But no, they blame the drug lol, it's the drug's fault that they weren't prepared to face some real challenges and know what to do to navigate their way through those challenges. Hence, why education and research is important, to know what you're getting yourself into and how to work with and through it rather than against it.

Also keep in mind, that it's generally not a good idea to keep feeding into the thoughts. Try to clear your mind, don't focus on thoughts or visuals as much as possible, clear your mind, focus on your breathing or on music (listening through headphones, lay back and close your eyes, go within), and just accept/embrace whatever comes your way, if you have thoughts, accept them and release them, don't stay stuck focusing on them and have them lead your mind into a dark place.


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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Sabnock] * 1
    #25589813 -

Sabnock said:
why spend months or even in some rare cases years trying to recover from a bad trip induced traumatization, when you could just lower the dosage a little bit, maybe add in some relaxative agent if necessary (like Lemon Balm, for example), and go back in to finish off the process that's been started, and come back out with that temporary trauma finally and fully released?



Yeah, I tend to agree that a good trip can be the best cure for after effects if a bad trip.

If you dont like the show, change the channel!


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Materialistic, individualistic, truth seeker, risk taker.

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: grati]
    #25589828 -

grati said:
That's what you get for not informing yourself. You're one of those guys that thought if they can handle weed, they can also handle big doses of shrooms :lol:


Weren't you the guy that downed 3 grams of MDMA? The pot is calling the kettle black.

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Lootje]
    #25589845 -

Lootje said:
grati said:
That's what you get for not informing yourself. You're one of those guys that thought if they can handle weed, they can also handle big doses of shrooms :lol:


Weren't you the guy that downed 3 grams of MDMA? The pot is calling the kettle black.


Yeah, but I took MDMA around 300 times. My first time I started with 100mg of MDMA not 3g :lol:


--------------------
The eyes are useless when the mind is blind

:trippinballs: Candyflipping :omgawesome:

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: FloridaTreks]
    #25589954 -

You're OK, and you'll recover. :heart: You've gotten stuck in a loop where the anxiety is reinforced the moment it's felt. The first step is knowing that mushrooms are safe as far as the brain is concerned, you haven't caused any damage. Once you can accept that the anxiety isn't a defect, you can listen to it and discover the cause. A psychologist could help, they don't need to have any experience with psychedelics, but chances are you'll be able to do it yourself with a little time. :thumbup:


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Shroomery Stylish Theme — How to avoid tick-borne diseases

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: grati]
    #25590755 -

''I did it before so now I can be as unresponsible as I want.'' It's your life fam but watch out with that shit as it could've gone very wrong.

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: Lootje]
    #25591276 -

Seems to me like you need to work on yourself and the things you don't appreciate in your life. If you were in a better place your experience would have been different. You can't blame the mushroom experience for what was already in your mind not what was going on in your life at the time. You took them and what happened is what probably needed to happen. Your dose was definitely too high, however that is what you get. You flung the door open without knocking first and now you have to deal with the repercussions. You must integrate this experience into your life and begin the healing process that has begun. Don't ignore it and eventually you will understand why the experience went the way that it did and possibly even feel the calling to take more mushrooms. I have never really had "bad trips". Difficult experiences, of course, are another story. Those difficult times are the ones you really learn from. When your set and setting are correct then you will know that you can have a trip go the right way.

You wouldn't take an eight of mushrooms while physically on a sinking ship in the middle of the ocean, right?(setting) Well it sounds like that's what you did with your mental state(your set). Relax, and start working on the things you don't like about yourself.

For example, I quit smoking weed for personal reasons about two years ago. I just smoked again two nights ago and got my ass handed to me both mentally and physically. Felt like shit for most of the night and next day. Lots of lessons learned, some i have already been taught but it apparently I'm not working through them as i should. This experience and the headspace I got was worse than any of my recent mushrooms trips on the last year, or almost ever. It's not about the substance. It's your life and how you need to heal yourself spiritually. Am I going to stop smoking again? No, but I am going to wait until I know I've started really fixing these problems and that terrible headspace won't return. I smoked again just to drive it all home and really get a grasp on what to work on. Best of luck, my friend.


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Sorry for wasting your time, or not. 
God bless -LoverOfTheLight

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Re: After having a major panic attack on my first Shroom trip my anxiety has worse. Seeking Advice, plz. [Re: LoveroftheLight] * 1
    #25591360 -

Simply overthinking it and attaching to thoughts. Not all thoughts are your own or for your own good, some are evil in nature, panic attacks are usually that of entity interference or holding onto and believing in every thought as your own.

The mushrooms did not amplify your problems they simply made you more aware of them so that you can now Begin to see them more clearly and work them through, you will see later how this trip was good for you. I've had the same terrorizing experiences later I realized and learned more about my self than ever, there's great lessons behind the fear - try viewing it in a positive light you are just now more aware of what you already were dealing with


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"In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old
In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser
In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter
As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms
And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply
Different ways in which The
All-That Is
Perceives Itself"

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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