it's not a matter of thinking outside my own experiences - I'm just taking all of my experiences into consideration as opposed to focusing in on one single instance of the many different experiences I've had / will have / am currently having (depending on how you precieve these sorts of things)
we all start out as a 'new' soul at some point in time (which is when 'we' first initially seperate ourself from the oneness to experience life anew) and we all eventually make our way from one life to another until we inevitably find our way back to the source (e.g. return to whince we came - bringing with us all of our accumulated experiences from all of our different incarnations)
at any given time (which is *technically* all time - the eternal now if you will) we are all experiencing multiple existances simultaneously...though we seldom realize this because it isn't until we succeed in expanding our consciousness to a certain extent that we are finally capable of focusing on more then one 'life' at a time
think about this linearly for a second here:
you start out by seperating yourself from the oneness of the all (the 'zine' or shroom as I've come to know it) you then start out your spiritual journey in much the same way as an baby would begin their journey in our world - you quickly lose track of your sense of self...because you are no longer part of what you once precieved to be 'you' but rather a seperate entity with a seperate identity that you know nothing about - in a world that's alien to you
you 'awaken' in a strange land where you don't know anything about how this new world works (only that it's nothing like the place you just came from) and to make matters worse - you're thrust into some sort of 'packaging' that is weighing you down and holding you back from being everyhing you once were
you must learn to adapt to this new 'life' and you must do so quickly if you are to ever hope to survive...you must forget about your past (for now anyway) and learn the skills you'll need to know to survive in this new environment (much like an infant emerging from the womb)
you're first few lives are like the few months after childbirth - your primary goal is to observe and assimilate (just as a baby must become accustomed to their senses and their surroundings - so too will you have to become accustomed to the physical world) this is why 'people' always start out at the bottom - if they were thrust into an advanced civilization right from the get go they wouldn't know how to react to their environment, cause they'd still be holding onto their views of what 'life' was like in the non-physical relms
as you progress spiritually though, you gradually become more aware of 'who' you are - you begin forming a self image...which means from here on out it's possible to remember anything that happens in any of your next incarnations in later lives you'll experience in the future (typically though not unless something of major importance happens - much like it's tough to remember every little thing that you did back when you were five)
you continue on this path for a while (just cruisin around haphazardly with no real direction) and you experience life for all that it is - you see things through the eyes of a child so to speak (yes - even when you're an old gezer in a younge carnation)
eventually though you start learning about the darker side of life, and slowly but surely you begin a period of rapid spiritual growth as the veil is lifted and your eyes become opened to an entire new layer of life that had once been held back from you (again - much like an adolescent first learning the ways of the world)
you will inevitably make some mistakes and will likely become very aware that *somebody* is peering over your sholder - careully observing every single little thing you do...you likely won't even know who this 'someone' is (and even more likely won't care) and will almost certainly try your damndest to do whatever you can to get them off your back (including making rash decisions based off of impulses with no regards to consequences...simply to try and stay ahead of this all-seeing all-knowing pain in the ass that won't give you a second of time to yourself)
what you won't realize though is that this particular individual is simply watching out for your best intrest...usually because they remember how tough this transitional period was for them
but you of course won't see it that way (in your eyes they'll just be some benevolent dictator that's trying to influence every single descision you make) so for the next several lifetimes you'll rush forward recklessly in some vain attempt to get away from this ever-present 'force' and...eventually you will...not because you were too quick or too clever (though you'll likely convience yourself that's the case) but rather because you finally broke them down and they finally decided to just back off
at this point you'll hit a sort of miniture epiphany (or an epiph as I like to call it) a moment of clarity when you'll notice that you had been going foreward for so long and so fast that you hardly know where you are - and you'll likely even be a bit unsure as to who you are (or rather what you've become) you'll know that this time period has changed you *somehow* but you won't be able to even begin to grasp how or why...all you'll know is that you're not the same person you once were
it is time to evaluate - it is time to get reaquainted with your inner self and find your place in the scheme of things
(for some people this takes a very long time...which is one thing that's always in abundance)
if it takes you one lifetime or a thousand - you will not be able to contine your journey until you figure this out (just as you were not able to break free from your spiritual oppresser until they were first willing to give up...as well as just how you couldn't begin to look back on 'past' lives until you first chose an idenity for which to channel) once you do though - it's your time to shine...it's your time to contribute to the universe in every way that you were meant to
this is the time of great enjoyment...of love and prosperity...of togetherness
this is when you learn the true meaning of what 'life' is all about - unity
the bonds we share are what hold us together - they're what give us strength - they are what motivates us to become more then what we thought we could ever be - and they inspire us to achieve things which were once thought to be unacheiveable
it is this stage in life when 'experience' is truely experienced
but as with all things - sooner or later this too must come to an end...sooner or later we realize that we are still being very reactionary, and we still don't yet understand very much about the world that we are a part of - knowledge becomes a neccessity
we put aside our ideals for a while and we focus our thoughts and our energy towards our education...we learn not simply by experiencing, but also by observing - we pay close attention to all that goes on in our 'world' (existance as a whole) and we try desperately to wrap our brains around these ideas which we can't yet even fathom yet alone describe - and the more we learn the more it becomes glaringly obvious that we still have a long way to go
so we work harder - become more focused on what we're doing, and more meticulous with our details - we train ourselves to be as efficent as possible so as to not waste a single moment
apparently - already forgetting the fact that time is of no importance
but this is all part of the great scheme of things:
'we' become this way because that is the nature of the universe...it is a gate that must be passed before one may continue on to the next 'stage' of evolution - balance
there comes a time when another revelation is at hand and it is realized that 'life' has become mechanical...we are as robots - too involved with facts and numbers - too far away from our purpose ---> unity
but it's a well known fact that there is no going back...and so the descision is made to look within to find the unity which is a part of who we've become, and to bring that unity back up to the surface
this is where balance comes into play - this is when it becomes neccessary to combine the love within ourselves with the knowledge we've gathered through all the different experiences throughout all of our lives...and it is this balance between compasion and understanding that drives us towards nurturing our maternal instincts - we instinctivley are drawn to pass our knowledge and behavioral patterns onto those who are most desrving of it - mainly ourselves
so (being beyond the boudries of time) we wind back the clock so to speak and we take ourselves back to a simpler time - back to a time when it all began - back to where we first initially seperated from the oneness and began our life in the flesh
and from there we watch over our former selves and shelter them from the dangers they are still not yet ready to face...we protect them from that which they can not fend off themselves...and most importantly - we fill them with all the love we can muster (for it is our duty to ourselves to ensure we get the the best possible upbringing a soul could possibly have)
and as 'we' progress (in the flesh) our spiritual selves continue to ensure everything goes as smoothly as possible - we protect when is needed, test as is neccessary, and encourage unrelentlessly...we strive to do everything we possibly can to give ourselves every advantage 'we' can have
but alas - sooner or later our earthly counterparts catch a glimps of our 'interference' and they begin to rebel...we of course try to respond in whatever way seems most appropriate for the situation - at times through love, and others through discipline - unfortunately though nothing we ever do seems to help...in fact - many times it seems to continuously get worse and worse
it escalate because this is the nature of life - without the friction there would be no great victory for our former selves - no opportunity to become independant...and for that which we've become - there'd be no reason to let go - no reason to move one
and as said earlier - there is no going back...only a continuous going forward
so we part with 'ourselves' in hopes that we've provided them with everything they'll need to be able to survive without us...and we in turn accept that our time here is done, and we continue on to the next step of our journey
except...we're not sure where that journey is supposed to lead us - we become lost
(which is of course all part of the grand scheme of things...though we won't realize it at the time)
we'll inevitably wander around for some time not quite sure where exactly we're supposed to go or what exactly we're supposed to do...we'll fall into a sort of depression, and wander aimlessly for some time (perhaps stopping from time to time to observe others going through the same thing you had been through already...but never really stopping to help because deep down you know that that would just be putting yourself into some sort of perpetual loop - and that if you ever want to get 'back on track' you need to rediscover your place in life)
instead of ever finding your place in life again though all you ever find is many other 'younger' souls making the same descisions you made, and comming to the same impasses, and dealing with them the same exact way...life it seems is nothing but one perpetual loop after another with no apparent purpose to any of it
but still you drudge along hoping to find something *anything* that'll give you a clue as to what you're supposed to do, and slowly but surely you'll stuble across all the different entities you 'grew up' with back in the day (all the people you shared your entire life experiences with all the way up until the point you seperated yourself from the group in order to go back and watch over your own former self)
and as you continue on you'll slowly but surely come across more and more of these 'soul brethren' from your past, and one by one they will inevitably flock to the group and continue on with the rest of you - no one really sure where they're going, and no one really caring - everyone's just happy to be reunited with those that they thought they'd never see again
once again unity is brought back into focus, and once again balance is restored
upon regailing one another with life experiences a bond is formed and a deeper level of understanding is acheived...we connect in a way very much like we had earlier in previous incarnations - but now without the bonds of the flesh holding us back (and with more in common then ever before) our sense of unity becomes so strong and our experiences so intertwined that we becomes as one - it is now that we truely see what the real power of oneness is all about
and so with one last glance at all that is being left behind, and the understanding that as random and pointless as it all seems superficially there is indeed a reason for all of it...as well as reasons for every stage that creates every experience that every single 'individual' must go through
we say our good-byes and send one last ray of hope into the cosmos (for anyone who might need a glimmer of comfort in their lives) and then 'we' return home - bringing with us all the memories of all out past life experiences (to the very place from which we came)
and once again we find ourselves a part of the sheer bliss of that which is our sole reason to exist - the very essence of life itself - that which we nurture and provide for - and that which does the same for us
(the oneness of the all...that which I lovingly refer to as simply shroom)
so to answer your question:
I precieve many of my own incarnations because I am nearing the time of my return to that oneness...I have sent my last glimmer of hope to my former self so that 'I' will know that everything is exactly as it should be
--------------------
"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go..." T.S. Eliot
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