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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Icelander]
    #16331664 -

Icelander said:
Can you honestly say you'd be having the same relationship with a man that you have with your gf?  I'll bet he wouldn't be supporting you for one thing.



I'm not saying it would be the same relationship, I think every relationship is unique and changes over time. However I think some of the basic motivations for maintaining the relationship are the same. Some are practical, if we isolate the financial aspect for example in the past I helped her financially and now she helps me. Its a basic you scratch my back I'll scratch yours sort of thing. Its not so different than when I worked for a guy who owned his own business, he was supporting me but I was also supporting him. That relationship was pretty much strictly economic. Another aspect of relationship is love. Love is a big vague word, but what I mean under this is just the feeling of comradare, of kinship, solidarity. It probably has something to do with the release of ocytosin, it might be similar but less intenese to what people experience on MDMA. I don't find this feeling of kinship or bonding or attachment or whatever you call it any different with men or women.

Another aspect of relationship is helping improve each other's mood. Again this is an important part of friendship with both men and women. It varies with each person, for example I have one friend who brings out absurd humor in me and I bring out the absurd in him and we have a good time laughing. I have another friend who likes to sit back and think deeply about things we'll just talk for hours about things, we help each other focus on deep thought.

I could go on and on about the aspects of relationship, I think the details are always different but the basic motivations are the same, practical helping of each other, love, emotional support and fun. Probably some others I missed as well.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #16331675 -

OrgoneConclusion said:
Who doesn't want a free ride just for being born with the 'right' body parts?


Shirley there are some desperate older women on some kind of junket who would buy you dinner to eat them out?  I mean hell a buffet is a buffet after all.  Then you can feel degraded AND fat.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #16331726 -

Fortunately for me, I go for girls with an aquired taste for jazz and red wine. They tend to not need my help with much other than... you know.


--------------------
Om Bhur Bhuvah Svaha
Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi
Dhiyo Yo Nah Prachodayat

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16331764 -

Freedom said:
Diploid said:
Some of you guys are missing the fact that you can pay in cash, and in other ways too.

...

Lemme ask you guys with girlfriends who you say she puts out for free something: how long would you stay with her if she stopped giving you any sex from this day forward? I'd bet that just about all of you would dump her and find someone else whose car needs fixing, and who needs a ride, and who wants to talk and watch that chick flick, so on...

If you don't think so, you're in denial. :yesnod:


Women want sex just as much as men. If a girl won't have sex with you unless you do something for her, she either isn't attracted to you or is manipulating you. If I was in that situation I would call her out on it.



You must be kidding, you are saying woman don't use sex for their own gains? Sex is the best weapon they have in a relationship, and they use it accordingly.

We are talking about long term relationships, not the first 6 months of dating someone. Sure women want sex, but the can control it for when it benefits their wants and needs. Manipulation of the sexual routine is their specialty, you will find out eventually.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: qman]
    #16331789 -

And the smartest sex is...


--------------------
As far as I assume to know...

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: qman]
    #16331799 -

I've been in a relationship for 10 years. Neither of us tolerate this kind of manipulation.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16331868 -

I think every relationship is unique and changes over time.

cop out.

However I think some of the basic motivations for maintaining the relationship are the same.

yes, so?

Let me ask you this.  Take sex out of the relationship but not your sexual urges and natures.  Now. Do you stay together? Do you fuck other people but not develop jealousies that break the bond?  Extra points for honesty. :wink:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16331921 -

Freedom said:
I've been in a relationship for 10 years. Neither of us tolerate this kind of manipulation.


Sounds like a healthy relationship, and better than most, congrats on defying the odds.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: qman]
    #16331957 -

It sounds relatively healthy to me too.  However I think he over states the case and somewhat ignores the sexual nature at the base of the connection.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Icelander]
    #16332013 -

I said the basic motivations are the same because thats why I think male/female relationships and male/male relationships are basically the same.

Our relationship is not centered around sex. Really to get down to the core I think its about intamcy, which is knowing each other much more than other people. Revealing to the other person that which you are sure will make them despise you or at least lose respect for you, but finding they respect you more for your honesty. Within a relationship of real deep honesty, in that relationship there is the freedom to be yourself, with all the ugly parts. And even more: there is such a feeling of safety that its easier to look at the parts of myself that I've been afraid to look at (never mind tell others). Being intimate with someone like this and they still respect and admirer you for who you are, for me that's the greatest thing I've found in relationship.

Now I can't be sure of anything, especially predicting the future, but I think if one of us lost our libido, we would be fine with the other having sex with other people. This is because of how well we know each other, how much we trust each other, how we understand what jealusy is and how to let go of that jealousy. In other words we are both secure in our relationship. We do not fear the other will leave us. 0.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16332237 -

This problem is created by the monopoly on sex. Once a good alternative to sex becomes available to the masses, the price of sex will drop dramatically and the whores of the world will have to find a new commodity to sell when their genitalia costs less than a can of soup.


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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Jwlst]
    #16332441 -

Icelander said:
It sounds relatively healthy to me too.  However I think he over states the case and somewhat ignores the sexual nature at the base of the connection.


I think whats at the base of the connection is a period of about 3 months that was pure bliss. That opened us up to each other. That incredible bliss is gone, but what sustains us is we do a lot of good things for each other, including great sex.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16332456 -

Freedom said:
I think whats at the base of the connection is a period of about 3 months that was pure bliss. That opened us up to each other. That incredible bliss is gone, but what sustains us is we do a lot of good things for each other, including great sex.


I think what sustains you is great sex, with a lot of good extras on the side.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16332513 -

Amazing. :thumbup:

We do not fear the other will leave us. 0.

Does this mean there is no fear if breakup happens or that there is 0% chance one of you will want out of the relationship?


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Icelander]
    #16332804 -

both but mostly its that I think the chance of either of us finding another that matches as well as the other is like 1 in a million


It takes a long time to really get to know someone, to really trust someone you have to be young and naive, old and courageous/stupid, or see them in their most stressful moments.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #16332819 -

It's all about the economy yo. That hooker is just gonna buy drugs and booze. Your money taking a girl out on the town supports the local economy. All the good people, like business owners and politicians and shit. Once they do enough studies and figure out how to fuck us in the grandest of ways. The government will legalize drugs and pussy trading. It's just a matter of time.


--------------------
The early bird may get the worm... but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16333127 -

both but mostly its that I think the chance of either of us finding another that matches as well as the other is like 1 in a million


Well you almost had me believin ya there until I read this.

Kids.:lol:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Icelander]
    #16333196 -

And here I thought all plumbing fits other plumbing.


--------------------

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Icelander]
    #16333223 -

what about it don't you believe?

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Re: Prostitution? [Re: Freedom]
    #16333281 -

OK I guess I need to spell this out.  People can change over time. Grow at different speeds and in different directions often. Even the tightest couples can come apart over a decade or more.  I've seen it plenty.  And also to think that your partner could never find someone that offers her more is a little naive considering what I just stated. Again, I've seen it.  Not to say  it can't or won't happen for you as you believe, just that your certainty is more of a defense then a reality imo because if you were honest you'd have to admit that you really have no idea of the future. You only know how it feels right now and you can't really predict the future accurately on that.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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