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OfflineEarth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
I fucking give up
    #1484099 - 04/22/03 10:34 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I finally feel as if I have some hope and I get a bad phone call. I start punching the floor swarring and crying. I wish I could feel stable like other people, but I don't think I have a friend in the world. The only time I feel really close to people is of course on MDMA, but the fact is most of the people at the rave are also on MDMA and are nice. After they come down I doubt they like me as much anymore. I waste me whole life trying to feel happy. I mean I fucking go around trying to meet girls and getting numbers and giving my number out. What for, I don't have enough confidence to phone them, and I am sure they probably won't phone me. Buddha teaches to stop the karma within yourself because you won't be able to stop the evil in the world, but how are you suppose to do that when you are so depressed you don't have enough motivation to do things. I am going to fucking be a lonely hermit the rest of my life.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I fucking give up [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1484302 - 04/22/03 11:15 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

you'll be alright man, you got good insides

you are the neatest dudes on the shroomery!


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1484307 - 04/22/03 11:16 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

you must live in a bad part of the country. You seem like a great guy. I dont know why you wouldnt have any friends. It always helps me to know that when i feel all alone that maybe its better, maybe it brings me to understand things other people can not. It allows me to go places and learn things some people never even have the slightest clue of. Maybe giving up in a certain sense is not a bad idea. Maybe you should give up the notion that you are depressed because of your state. Adaptation is key to survival! It will make you stronger... Your evolving! Into an Earth Being! Carpe Diem! maybe when you give up, what you were looking for will come to you. or you will realize that maybe what you thought you were looking for was actually something else. something inside yourself. and maybe after that... you will meet some cool people and move to the next phase. Its quite possible you are testing yourself but maybe now you are trapped and just need an outlet! Ive always made things worse than they seem but maybe thats just me.



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What?


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InvisibleTheDude
is waiting forthe peak

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 2,876
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Zero7a1]
    #1484525 - 04/23/03 12:21 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

" I am going to fucking be a lonely hermit the rest of my life."

Welcome to the club pal, welcome to the club....

However, when this feeling is overwhelming I do something creative; art is everything to me. Perhaps this would be a good release, and a good way to build confidence and feel better about yourself? And if Buddhism is something you're interested in, don't forget the concept of Anatman or no self. This allows you to change because you aren't locked into one set of behaviours that having a "self" would prescibe. If you really want to change, you can. If you don't change, perhaps you aren't ready or don't really want to. And change takes time, it doesn't happen over night.


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"this lebowski he called himself 'the dude'. now, 'dude', that's a name no one would self-apply where i come from but there was a lot about the dude that didn't make sense to me...."--the Stranger


Edited by TheDude (04/23/03 12:28 AM)


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OfflineAbFab
me

Registered: 12/16/02
Posts: 363
Loc: Here
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Zero7a1]
    #1484530 - 04/23/03 12:23 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

This too shall pass. It sounds like you are going through a really rough time, i have had days (i even had a whole year) like that, where i had no friends and i felt like i was all alone in the world. All i can say is to relax, find happiness in the small joys of life, and ride the tough times out. Happiness shouldn't be a chore, it should just come to you. You sound like a cool guy and i know that happiness will find you soon. In the meantime, i will be sending peace and love your way. :smile:


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The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when your uncool.


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: I fucking give up [Re: AbFab]
    #1485076 - 04/23/03 03:12 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

You're breathing :smile:
Your heart is beating :smile:

I take it I shouldn't ask what this phone-call was regarding?

You're breathing :smile:
Your heart is beating :smile:


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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OfflineBlowMiNose
Some rise, Somefall, Some climb

Registered: 10/14/02
Posts: 1,189
Loc: The Dirty South...
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Strumpling]
    #1485355 - 04/23/03 08:47 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Try to find some hope droid. I know its hard, but just try to find some hope. Hope to find those friends, hope to find your soulmate, and hope to live a long life


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***--- Have You Opened Your Third eye?! ---***
      :::disclaimer:::this stuff was done in my dreams


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Offlineruskifile
droog

Registered: 05/12/02
Posts: 258
Loc: nowhere
Last seen: 9 years, 17 days
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1487455 - 04/23/03 10:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I feel for ya... :frown: check your pm's.... 


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(zhukov in a previous life....)

2SER FM underground radio


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Invisibletak_old
Endo Smoke

Registered: 05/31/02
Posts: 609
Loc: State of confusion
Re: I fucking give up [Re: ruskifile]
    #1526381 - 05/07/03 01:45 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Your attitude can be seen. I know when I am depressed, it usually snowballs, and bad shit happens, and it gets to the point where i just wanna die. It works the other way too though. I strongly believe that your life reflects your attitude. Try to smile more often, and relize that if you are alone, it is not a bad thing. That is just a couple billion peoples loss. Other people wont solve your problems. Only you can. Just try to hold in strong, good things happen to good people, and you are a good person. If anything, take this as a lesson. Next time someone wants to befriend you, think of your situation. Next time someone is feeling down and depressed, give them a smile. These little things can change your whole life.


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InvisibleRevelation

 User Gallery

Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 6,130
Loc: heart cave
Re: I fucking give up [Re: tak_old]
    #1526898 - 05/07/03 08:53 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

<3


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OfflineSWAY
SurrealPhantasmicSubConscious

Registered: 04/12/03
Posts: 71
Loc: A Dream...
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Revelation]
    #1527699 - 05/07/03 03:28 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

!!!!!!!!
Your not alone, i can say that much..., im a fucking mess, i day dream so much that i dont meet any goals in reality, i get obessed about things i cant have like girls, good grades in school, friends, a happy ending or closure

"I am going to fucking be a lonely hermit the rest of my life."
Im thinking the exact same thing right now, i have no real friends, i dont do anything at all after school is done for the day i go home and sit alone on the bus then come home and sit in my room sleeping listening to music and staring at this screen just daydreaming more and more
If you want a friend, ill be your friend, i can relate to what you say cuz im feeling it right now and am all day everyday, i have no real friends in real life at all, i have no real life at all, i try not to feel sorry for myself

but if you think nobody wants to be your friend your wrong, ill be your friend...

Just IM me or something
SWAY4378 @ aim; yahoo; SWAY4378@hotmail for msn chat


S W A Y


--------------------
?People keep searching for happines in the outside, what they don't know is that it's in the inside?
?In an infinite universe, anything that can exist, must exist? Bear
?To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing? Eva Young


Edited by SWAY (05/07/03 03:30 PM)


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
Re: I fucking give up [Re: SWAY]
    #1527722 - 05/07/03 03:35 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

i think you guyz is gonna be ok. i've talked to the mighty Droid on the phone a coupla times, i'd have to say he's way more well read and intelligent than most people his age, hence the whole thing of feeling like being on the "outside" Time is on your side....you will meet/interact with people that you have more in common with, trust me.......til then just stay cool and keep the faith :smile: 


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,499
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Ca...
Re: I fucking give up [Re: Earth_Droid]
    #1555159 - 05/17/03 12:12 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

I start punching the floor swarring and crying.




Classic CyberChump behavior. I did some of that yesterday morning.

Quote:

I wish I could feel stable like other people




I've said that too. In my stabler moments, however, I often realize that I only perceive other people as being stable. I have no way of knowing what other people have to deal with mentally, but often it seems like I'm the only one who is confused and generally screwed up.

Keep this in mind: Ninety-five percent of each individual exists only in his or her head, and is visible only to him or her.

Don't think other people have it together just because they appear to. Not only are we only seeing a tiny fraction of their personalities, but our own anger and pain can severely distort this little portion that we can see.

Quote:

Buddha teaches to stop the karma within yourself because you won't be able to stop the evil in the world, but how are you suppose to do that when you are so depressed you don't have enough motivation to do things.




I was saying something remarkably similar to this (to myself) the other day. If there's one thing my many many bouts with depression have done for me, it's that they've taught me all of the tricks I use to defeat myself. I lean on the fact that I have problems so I can justify non-action and my lack of success. When I'm in my worst moods, I play Mr. Depressed so that I don't have to expect anything of myself. It's a way to be safe from responsibility. I'm in pain, but at least I don't have to do anything difficult. I'm miserable, but still off the hook. I find it quite easy to be hateful and angry and sorry for myself. Choosing to do those easy things sure beats doing hard things, like actually calling girls I'm afraid to call, or like trying to be close to someone while I'm sober. The only way the cycles of depression end are when I take the initiative to do something I'm not immediately comfortable with, because I know it's the right thing to do, and I'm fucking sick of being pathetic and selfish.

You are not your past. When you see it as a given that you lack the motivation to do things, you are simply convincing yourself you can't, just so you are never in danger of realizing that YOU CAN and YOU SHOULD do these things you claim you lack the motivation to do. There will never be a time when it feels safe or comfortable to try something you aren't used to. You can't wait for it to be easy. Progress will only be made by acting in the face of fear, not by acting only when fear is nowhere around.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: I fucking give up [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #1555927 - 05/17/03 11:18 AM (13 years, 6 months ago)

excellent post, I must say


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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