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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: xjessesxgirlx]
#2443633 - 03/17/04 01:55 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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no problem girlie I don't mind tangents. lol
I don't think giving everyone a pill is the right way to deal with this problem. I actually cant' stand that I am taking a pill everyday.. I don't even use asprin... but I wanted to try all my options.
I don't think I have mental illness per say, but I have a different way of thinking about things...I can look at something and think it to be 100 times more difficult than it is. Plus I have dylexia(sp?). well they think I have it.. which would explain alot of things about me(lol )... I am going to get tested in one week for that.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2443848 - 03/17/04 02:52 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Ahh zero my friend, on the SSRI's now eh? 
I went through several of them before finding one that "worked" for my anxiety issues (Effexor). I've got a few questions for you, though!
Can you "feel" them working in your head? Like a strange "prickly" feeling on the top of your brain (but below your scalp...inside your head)? I used to get that from sunrise to sunset while I was on Celexa. Do you feel detached at all?
I certainly know what you mean about being on edge. I snapped on my best friend the first (and only) day I was on Paxil. I never yell at anyone...so me screaming at my friend freaked me (and him/other friends who saw) out enough that I stopped taking the Paxil (doc said that was a good idea). On Celexa I felt like the slightest thing would set me raging...but I never did lose my temper on anyone. I did get really emotional at times (characteristicly NOT me) and would start crying for no apparent reason at times without "feeling" sad at all.
When I finally settled on Effexor I went through the biggest ride of my life. That shit is weird, let me tell you! First of all, your pupils dilate like your on 5g of shrooms. Second, you actually feel like you're on shrooms all day long without actually tripping. As the dosage increases (they have to start you at 37.5mg and work up to a max of 300mg...I hit 150mg before stopping) these effects increase and get weirder and weirder. After I hit 150mg colors started turning REALLY bright (as if I was tripping) and would "jump out" at me when I turned my head. You start walking around with this weird half-smile on your face and nothing seems to affect you from the external world at all anymore.
Craziest two months of my life, I think 
But hey! NO MORE ANXIETY!
Best of luck with your SSRI experiment here
--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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monkey_monkey
lover

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 77
Loc: UK
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2443936 - 03/17/04 03:35 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Antidepressant medication is such a subjective experience...what works for some can have little effect on another. They do work but in my experience they only give you a helping hand...there is still soul searching and healing to be done from within...think of them as a piggy back ride and dont stop taking them when you feel better!!! When they satart to work you will feel subtle differences in how you feel...I doubt you will suddenly just feel better...they tend to just sort of creep up on you and you will start to have fewer BAD days!! Good luck!!
-------------------- Monkeys need lovin too!
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monkey_monkey
lover

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 77
Loc: UK
Last seen: 18 years, 5 months
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2443945 - 03/17/04 03:37 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Oh and one in four people in the UK experience some form of mental health problem in their life....You will get better and you can feel better...hang on on there!
-------------------- Monkeys need lovin too!
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CoolBlue
n00b
Registered: 09/16/03
Posts: 619
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2443994 - 03/17/04 04:02 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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u started your pillz!? damn u bastard you dont tell me anything anymore
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: trendal]
#2444154 - 03/17/04 05:05 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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thanks trendal!
yeah I am trying them out. I hope its works...
Can you "feel" them working in your head?
YEAH.. I do, its a weird feeling, I can't really even describe it. I just figured it was some sort of side effect. its happens just like you described too. its under my scalp but above my brain.. I also get a feeling the top of my head would get cold. The most noticable side effect is still the temper. I haven't yelled at someone but I am less likely to take bullshit from someone. It almost like my confidence has risen and now I am not afraid to tell someone they suck(if they do suck, that is), 
Do you feel detached at all?
I do sometimes. Its happens for 2 hours after I take my pill.. but not in the sense that I can operate something. I am more likely not to talk and instead sit and ponder. the first few days, I had the "detached" feeling alot but it has been easier everyday.
they almost gave me Effexor!! but I started talking about lexapro so she gave me that instead. I am glad b/c your first few months didn't sound like fun.
monkey_monkey - thanks for the support! Would like to have fewer and fewer bad days for sure. I can't wait for this to kick in, as they say it takes up too 2 weeks before you will start really feeling better.
bacha - You bastard, I tell you everything. gotta keep some secerts.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2444173 - 03/17/04 05:11 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Lol, actually my time on Effexor was rather fun. Like I said: it was like walking around all day every day on mushrooms without actually tripping 
Plus it made weed intense. I had a killer tolerance to weed before I started Effexor (as in I smoked all day every day for several years) but after the third day on Effexor a couple tokes would floor me.
I had a friend who also got put on Effexor. He made it all the way up to 250mg and his description of the effects are nuts. He said he basically was tripping. Colours would pulsate and jump out at him everyhwere he turned.
Some strange shit.
The temper thing levels out after a while. I think (at least in my case) it was a result of repressing anger for so long and it finally coming out due to the antidepressants.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: trendal]
#2444213 - 03/17/04 05:24 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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hehe, well it sounds like it was fun, but if you had important stuff to do that day, could you have focused?
I noticed the weed thing last night! I smoked out of my bubbler and I was floored on the second hit. I was actually laying on the floor and then I started to see the floor move just like a mushroom trip. I even started to get the mind trip also.
Quote:
The temper thing levels out after a while. I think (at least in my case) it was a result of repressing anger for so long and it finally coming out due to the antidepressants
thats what is happening to me also.. I feel once I get it all out, I can move on and be the same.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2444276 - 03/17/04 05:47 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah I was ok to focus and everything. I worked as a cook at the time and had no problems at work aside from my boss accusing me of taking shrooms before work (on account of my pupils being so large) 
As for the anger thing, as soon as I got that out my anxiety level seemed to drop off completely. I stopped taking the Effexor after two months and haven't had any anxiety since! It's been about a year now.
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: trendal]
#2444305 - 03/17/04 06:00 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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now thats good to here!!! so you only took them for 2 months and your in the clear... I hope the same for me too.
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trendal
J♠


Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 20,815
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2444365 - 03/17/04 06:14 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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So do I man 
I'm sure you'll be fine in no time!
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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.
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nofind_um
Explorer ofEarth


Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 933
Loc: At work, at school, at my...
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: trendal]
#2444706 - 03/17/04 07:49 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've been reading your log zerohero,,, Glad to hear your doing well. I've been taking an ssri for a few years now. celexa It works for me as long as I stay off the booze. I smoke a little pot every few days and enjoy it. Good luck and glad your feeling ok,,,,
-------------------- My hunting partner is gone, I miss her so!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: nofind_um]
#2446684 - 03/18/04 10:14 AM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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thanks nofind_um!
I hope to not take this ssri for more than 6 months.. I am not into the long haul thing...
I just want to get back on my feet.
another day in the clearing fog:
I don't notice the pill anymore once I take it. I feel the same after I take it and before I take it. I think this is a sign that its working as I dont' get depressed in the morning and I don't feel bad anymore. Alot of my friends are off to spring break so most of them have not seen me while I am on this pill... so when they come back I hope they notice the change in my life as I feel I have had. I have alot more energy now. I am more likey to go out and do something. I still have some light headed feeling and my feel lose blood and get cold but in all its a good feeling to feel like this.
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Kremlin
life in E minor


Registered: 06/07/01
Posts: 1,860
Loc: /export/home/Kremlin
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2448802 - 03/18/04 07:28 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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good luck to you zero, its an interesting ride...
ive been on meds since i was a wee lad..ive tried alot of em
imipromine neurontin paxil prozac buspar wellbutrin Lithobid (lithium) Straterra
Ive found the best match (which is what im using now) is lithobid and paxil. I'm moody, not bipolar, but moody...so the lithobid helps to control my moods. Im only on 10mg of the paxil, mainly for social anxiety, as that is my crutch often. 10mg is nice because i dont get the psychomotor agitation if i skip a dose.
Good luck to you Keep your head up
--Kremlin
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"Human suffering has been caused because all too many of us cannot grasp that words are only tools for our use, and that the mere presence of a word in the dictionary does not mean it necessarily refers to something definitive in the real world" --Richard Dawkins, "The Selfish Gene" "It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours." -George Gissing "Without a firm idea of himself and the purpose of his life, man cannot live, and would sooner destroy himself than remain on earth, even if he was surrounded by bread." --Fyodor Dostoevsky
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2449000 - 03/18/04 08:09 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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glad to hear zerohero it should be all downhill for you now
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2449028 - 03/18/04 08:14 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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no way man my brother has dyslexia and he can't read or write. he's not illiterate but he is 28 years and reads like a 5 year old,you have no problem there.he says when he looks at a written page the letters just all jumble up he was born left handed and when he was a kid the teachers tried to force him to use his right hand when he wrote,they even stood him infront of assembly with a dunce hat on,thats what they think can cause it(the forcing right hand part)
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2451555 - 03/19/04 12:40 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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I believe the dyslexia can be stronger for other.. I would have a mild case of dyslexia as I can read and write, but I sometimes say things backwards and read things backwards... its a weird thing... but in a 3 days I am going to get tested so I will find out for sure.
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shaggy101


Registered: 08/16/00
Posts: 1,816
Loc: ..still waiting for godot
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2452995 - 03/19/04 09:39 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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Not to turn you into a science experiment, but this post is way interesting for those concidering anti depressants I hope they work well for ya
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Anonymous #1
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: shaggy101]
#2454750 - 03/20/04 02:54 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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hehe, I am glad you like it. 
well today is been a good day so far...I don't notice any difference in my personality after I take the pill. I seem to be leveling out which is really good. I am able to stand up for myself.. it gives me a level of confidence and sanity...I still am the same way I used to be, crayz as ever but I have a sense of what I need to accomplish in life.
The only negative side effect that I have noticed it my feet losing blood and getting those needle thingies. which I can live with. I like they way monkey_monkey put it... I just to have less bad days... and thats what exactly is happening. My good days are the same as my bad days seem to be leaving...I dont' get depression like I used to in odd parts of the day. I am pretty much level...
another positive is my smoking senitivy. I can take 2 hits and get really high... so I can save money on the weed too. lol its the most stoned I have been too. 
ok but this is my log for 1 week of taking the pill. I will continue to do this log for one more week. consider it my online journal.
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xjessesxgirlx
present

Registered: 01/14/04
Posts: 3,287
Loc: inside
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
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Re: umm.. so this is it.. anti-depressant log [Re: ]
#2454981 - 03/20/04 04:08 PM (19 years, 10 months ago) |
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honestly zero you do seem a lot more happy and content or somethin (I edited bc this is what I meant to say lol duh)
-------------------- You know Rents, for a vegetarian, you're a mean shot.
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