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InvisibletrendalM
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Registered: 04/17/01
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Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong?
    #2658115 - 05/09/04 09:25 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Well I've already come to my own conclusion on this...but I always like to have other opinions for balance :wink:

I've always been a solitary kind of guy, but I've noticed over the past few years it has gotten a lot "worse".

When I was a kid, I probably spent 50% of my free time with friends, and 50% alone. I was always the one being asked to do something, never the one asking others. If no one asked me to do anything, I generally spent my time alone. I had a lot of friends though, so I spent at least as much time with friends as without.

As the years have gone by, with through several moves, my group of friends living close by got much smaller. I don't have a licence or a car, so again I generally only go out or hang around with friends if they ask me to come out. I spend less and less of my free time with other people and more time alone.

Up until the new year I was living with 4 good friends of mine. They are all pretty sociable guys, so I spent quite a lot of time with other people. I still would not really seek out the company so much as it came to me. I would go 4-5 days without leaving the house at times, but a LOT of people would come over in that time so I wasn't alone too much.

After new years I moved home to my mother's house. I have a few friends close by but I hardly ever go out to see them. I have friends at work and see a couple of them outside of work now and then...but for the most part I'm spending nearly all my free time alone.

The sudden change from a huge circle of friends and almost constant social activity to zero close friends and almost no social activity should have made a difference to me, I think. It hasn't. I feel fine, no different than I did before.

Recently I have even started declining invitations from friends or just not showing up. I haven't been out of the house aside from work in almost a month.

So, I think I'm becoming a hermit...

And I have nothing wrong with it :smile:

Some of you know that I have never enjoyed society. I think it has had the effect of a rather constant push to stay away from it, when possible.

Is this a "bad" thing? Even if I enjoy spending my time alone?


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Offlinekosmic_charlie
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Posts: 5,202
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2658143 - 05/09/04 09:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you're happy. I'm a bit of a hermit myself, at least compared to how my social life was before I graduated college. I enjoy my time alone but sometimes I do get lonely and I wish I had a significant other (not necessarily more friends) to share my life with. But it sounds like you're happy in your current situation so be glad. A man that can learn to be happy all by himself is a truly prosporous man.


--------------------

Goin' where the water tastes like wine.


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2658146 - 05/09/04 09:32 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

PS: Though I spend a lot of time on the Internet, I don't do much socializing online! I chat with friends every now and then but they're always the ones to message me unless I have something specific to ask them (and which I can't find elsewhere on my own).


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2658157 - 05/09/04 09:35 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

You and me are pretty much in the same boat. Although I have friends at home that I hang out with, here at college I have none, but that's ok. I'm totally content with being by myself. The Shroomery is my social circle. Since moving in into this dorm last fall, I've been to 2 1/2 gatherings(I'm counting a rave as half) and met lots of people from this board. On a day-to-day basis, though, I'm alone, and that's just fine with me. I figure if you're happy with it, then there's nothing wrong with it.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: silversoul7]
    #2658161 - 05/09/04 09:37 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I figure if you're happy with it, then there's nothing wrong with it.

That's the conclusion I had come to, too :wink:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineViaggio
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Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2658333 - 05/09/04 10:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Sorry to burst your bubble, fellas, but I wouldn't classify someone who socializes on message boards (instead of coffee shops, bars, etc) as a hermit.  You're just dorks :smile: (like myself).


--------------------
"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: Viaggio]
    #2658370 - 05/09/04 10:27 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Read again:
PS: Though I spend a lot of time on the Internet, I don't do much socializing online! I chat with friends every now and then but they're always the ones to message me unless I have something specific to ask them (and which I can't find elsewhere on my own).

What I'm getting at here is my total lack of an urge to socialize or be around other people. Some days I don't care if there's people around or not...other days I don't want other people around. In most cases, thoughts about other people are out of my head 60s after the person is out of my sight :smirk:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineHypnoToad
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Registered: 05/08/04
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: Viaggio]
    #2658402 - 05/09/04 10:33 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

trendal Of course its not normal but normal is quite overrated.I personally sometimes go up to weeks without leaving my house especially in winter simply because I have no desire to go outside and I have no friends period.I have no friends because I will not associate with superficial people and thats all there really is out here.People who think life is all about nails and fashion(girls) and people who think its all about the hottest girl and the fastes or best car(guys).THey've not a single real thought in their heads.No desire,no ambition,no goals or purpose.I frankly,dont have aword to say to these sort of people...they wont understand anything I try to tell them.I've always been solitary.I forge my own path.If people follow in my path so be it...if no one follows so be it.While I wont stop people from following in my path I wont encourage them to and if they leave at some point I really dont care.It's just who I am and how I am.I dont think Im meant for socializing.


--------------------
"There is no fire like lust, no grip like hate, no net like delusions, no river like craving."



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Offlinedaba
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2658675 - 05/10/04 01:31 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Dear trendal:

It is not ok to be a hermit. It is horribly, horribly wrong.

:goes back into his cave:

Love,
daba


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: daba]
    #2659203 - 05/10/04 12:29 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

:lol:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2659223 - 05/10/04 12:43 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

in the last two years ive been out of my house about 20 times only for doc appointments and two binge drinks, i have heaps of family so i'm never alone,when i think of the outside world i think of that rat in a cage song cause the world IS a vampire
i havent been to a night club or party since  before that time cause i feel everyones a bullshitter anyway and ive never liked crowds and i aint missing out on much so your in great company :wink:


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OfflineProtester
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Registered: 04/10/03
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: ]
    #2661855 - 05/11/04 04:52 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I hear ya man iv a bit like that myself but i hate it and like you i have no car no license or no free money to fix either of those problems.  I was living in Chattanooga with one of my close friends and me and him had a falling out cause one of our mutural friends up there got mad at me for listening to the rap station at work cause he didnt want to and wanted to beat my ass over it.  I was like man this is silly we are supposed to be friends and iv listened to shit and gone places iv hadn't really wanted to but i didnt say anything cause we are friends so i dont understand it iv tried to but i cant and this is some silly shit so he finnaly got so mad he went in the house and slammed the door behind him and i got in my friends car and left since then he told my friend that i couldn't go over to his house which wasnt any sweat off my back but my friend who i have known for years totally kicks me aside and i spent 2 weeks straight w/0 leaving the apartment except going to work.  The about a week ago he says hed like for me to move out when the lease was up.  So i said fuck it called my old boss from back home got my old job back with a 15 min phone call and moved back home 2 days later leaveing that little mutha fucker to pay the rest of the rent solo.  Now im back home and kicking it with my friends but i still like to have some time to myself :smile:

Just do what ya gotta do man to feel good thats what im doing man and dont let any one judge you for that and your real friends will respect you still.


--------------------
I work my shitty 9-5 and I pay my taxes, I'm not hurting anybody else. So why do you care what i do in my spare time.


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Offlinel0st
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Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 32
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2665351 - 05/11/04 10:38 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

its fine if u don't don't care now and just want to do your own thing. but perhaps one day you will feel the need for interaction moreso and you won't have the social skills or contacts available to meet your needs. it can be a very frustrating thing , so why not at least try to be out once in a while so you don't get out of touch with yourself and stick to compulsive addictions.


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Offlinedaba
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2672315 - 05/13/04 06:07 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

By the way trendal, I believe you knew in advance the responses you were going to get to such a, dare I say, banal question :wink:.


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


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OfflineDreamer987
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Registered: 04/15/03
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Loc: Texas
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Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2672366 - 05/13/04 07:14 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)


come out of your shell little hermit crab.  Go mingle with the shrimps, n the lobsters, n the mock turtles.    dance in the sunlight and denounce your shell

:shiftyeyes:
uhhh i gotta go now, even i'm gettin alittle to wierd on me


--------------------


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Offlinefilthysock
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Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: Dreamer987]
    #2672556 - 05/13/04 09:31 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Thats a cool looking animal.

Anyway, I totally ahve the hermit qualifications. I'm good company for myself and I feel I justify my life by being by myself, I get to do productive and interesting things that seem to be important for a future I'm hoping for.

Besides, like a hermit, I think think think and I write write and write.

So I think its totally cool to be a hermit... but what I'm missing is a hermit friend, someone I can be on the same level with, I dont have that... well I do, but he's one in the crowd of my friends and I'm never with him alone and rarwely get on that level with him. See I'm surrounded by friends who are very immature and use immature humor. I have nothing against immaturity (I even despise using that word) aand I dont believ in using that word, I get immature and playful myself and I see it as the only way of connecting with my group of friends... but my dominating persona is a lazy philosophing hermit kind, just lazy in the sense that I'm sometimes to lazy to do fun things it seems unimportant and boring to me often.

I wish I was more playful and social by nature though and could reallyt get myself out of my hermit shell and keep my playful persona up for longer periods of time... it seriously like lifting weights sometimes... it strains me out. I'm getting old (and only 19), lol.

What I really want to post here, for all you hermits is this,
realize this, that play, fun, games and friends are the very essence of life, the most important and crucial matter to living... so its worth the effort to keep that up.

I have a very very trust worthy friend/father figure/mentor person who is always reminding me about this... its hard sometimes, to get myself out of my hermit shell... but trust me... its the only thing we exist for.


--------------------
Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2672762 - 05/13/04 10:38 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Its a totaly fine thing. But the question is do you want to be alone for your whole life? Cuz one day you might find that it will be to late to change your ways. I feel where you are coming from. A good friend of the family that watched my whole lofe unfold told my mom that I was born to late that she feels that I should have been born when Hobos were aplenty.

For me I would rather deal with people now. Find a woman and disapear up to my cabin to live my life out up in the hills alone with my girl.


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InvisibleSpeeker

Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 639
Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2672964 - 05/13/04 11:52 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

trendal said:
Is this a "bad" thing? Even if I enjoy spending my time alone?




no. just don't put a label on yourself.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: trendal]
    #2680686 - 05/15/04 01:55 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

I'm the biggest hermit here. I got you all beat.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Is it ok to be a hermit, or is something wrong? [Re: ]
    #2682107 - 05/15/04 02:04 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Ah but do you live under a bridge in the woods?


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