Home | Community | Message Board


SoulSpeciosa Kratom
Please support our sponsors.

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Original Seeds Store Shop: buy cannabis seeds, Buy CBD

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Observable Fuck-up.
    #1853448 - 08/27/03 01:25 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Well, im really down on myself. I have no life. I dont like to leave my room...its a small suite, no need to leave, right? I used to have lot's of friend's...and i slowly alienated them all in certain ways. I have a few good one's left, and dont see them often...i feel like im burdening them anyways. I have isolated myself for so long, i find it impossible to hold conversation, or even feel comfortable, and i know its fucking pathetic. I hate it, i dont know what to talk about...im out of their circle's, and in generally more mature (BORING) than them. Sometime's im invited out and i decline, just because i know of the impending awkwardness. Im sure that none of them care...but its such a big deal in my head. Its really ego crushing because im aware of how stupid it is, im watching myself fuck up.
Im reluctant to go on med's for social anxiety, but im definately *scared* subconciously of putting myself in social situations. I dont know how ive let myself get to this.
I figure getting a job will hopefully get me talking and meeting new people..Right now i really need to be forced to.
I fucking suck. My confidence has gone to shit.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleXibalba
Stranger
Registered: 05/14/00
Posts: 2,114
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1853501 - 08/27/03 01:51 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)



Edited by Xibalba (09/30/05 01:44 AM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Xibalba]
    #1853511 - 08/27/03 01:57 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Oh how right you are.

You see, i was really really counting on a mushroom trip, and then i got cut off, and then acid fell through..and im stuck in a psychological a-motivational lump.

Ill re read over your post often no doubt, and remember it. Thanks for the stating the obvious...to anyone but me.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #1

Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1855205 - 08/27/03 04:28 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

n/a


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Anonymous #1

Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1855209 - 08/27/03 04:31 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

n/a


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDobie
Dopeless Hopefiend
Male User Gallery
Registered: 08/15/02
Posts: 52,140
Loc: ON DA BLOCK Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1858032 - 08/28/03 07:19 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

hitch hike down to portland ore im make sure you meet people and it will be fun stuff


--------------------
This place is gayer than when the balls touch


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Dobie]
    #1862167 - 08/29/03 10:45 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

If you truly want your situation to improve you must conciously alter your thinking patterns. I can tell from the way you talk that you have little confidence, you didn't have to state it. The more you state that you have anxiety, the more anxious you will become, Karma. Use the reverse effect and tell yourself how confident you are, constantly, even if it seems stupid cause yr not. Its essential to start breaking these negative patterns.

You tell yourself that you are not good enough, and are guessing what other people think of you, how they are judging you, but you're wrong. You can't possibly know what people think of you or how they are interpreting your body language. As long as you are polite people will like you, even if you are quiet all night.

It is a big deal to you personally, of course. But, just remember nothing really matters. I would start not caring what you think anyone thinks of you and just be yourself. You will start to feel comfortable and confident again sooner than you can imagine.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleEgo Death
Justadropofwaterinanendlesssea
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/27/03
Posts: 10,447
Loc: The War Machine
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Ego Death]
    #1862178 - 08/29/03 10:50 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Also, your friends probably do care but have absolutely no idea why you refuse to go out and eventually give up. Have you told any of them that you suffer from social anxiety?

What would you do if you were trying to befriend someone and they refused to come out, you would just think "oh they don't like me"!!!

Go see your doctor and talk to him/her in confidence about the problems. Its healthy to be shown a situation from many angles.


--------------------


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineDellComputers
Bluntman

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 806
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1862401 - 08/29/03 12:41 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

everyone does shit like that, its hard to realize the solution when ur dwelling on how u feel now. the only way to fix it is to go out with kids when they invite you, but ddont wait to be invited, do something. u might not even want to now, but i guarentee once you do ull be glad. ull feel a lot better.


--------------------
:stash: + :bong: = :smile:


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleDoctorJ
Stranger
 Arcade Champion: Frogger

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: DellComputers]
    #1863073 - 08/29/03 04:46 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I dont turn down social outings because of fear of awkward situations.

I turn them down because my 'friends' like to do shit that I consider retarded. ie, going to a bar and listening to shitty music and paying $4 for a beer.

to update and paraphrase Hunter S,

"Its getting harder and harder to find people to eat acid with as the age of Bush rolls on..."

its a politico/socio/fashion thing I guess. That abundance of ravers and neo-hippies from the late nineties seems to have traded in their visors and glo-sticks for business suits and crappy corporate jobs at the behest of political, social, and economic pressure

fucking turncoats


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
InvisibleSemilanceata
No god, no boss

Registered: 05/26/03
Posts: 841
Loc: República Federal Íbera
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: DoctorJ]
    #1863164 - 08/29/03 05:21 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Exactly!!!! Usually other people is boring beyond description. I have more fun just watching at my dog or looking at my shrooms growing.


--------------------
Sr_Setahongo


Edited by Semilanceata (08/29/03 05:22 PM)


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Semilanceata]
    #1865170 - 08/30/03 09:00 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

hrmm, PDU, something I've thought about lately is that you know how your afraid of the awkwardness, that says that your motivation is to fit in with a group, right? (im not criticizing that either), but for me that is what the problem has been... I lost the actuall fundamentals of what socializing is... not a process of fitting into a clique, but based out of a real interest in other people.

what I'm trying to say is, you should set your goals higher... you should do things because you really want to, otherwise your just making connections you don't even really believe in

forget other people for a moment and try and remember how to be comfortable with yourself, think about the things you really want out of life, your career? hobbies? travelling? do you have any sort of mission? I think if you set your mind on a life-long goal like that, then the friends just sort of fall into place.

i know exactly where your coming from though, believe me.

it may take some time, but you should try and get back to your bases, i think you are looking at yourself through 'social goggles' and just passing judgement about how much you suck.
you gotta take those things off man... shit gets fucked up, many people's lives go for weird twists and turns and they find themselves completely lost, but your not gonna get anywheres by focusing on negative things.

i like to think about what i could contribute to a conversation or whatever as opposed to trying to meet others approval somehow


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Grav]
    #1866347 - 08/30/03 06:09 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

hrmm, PDU, something I've thought about lately is that you know how your afraid of the awkwardness, that says that your motivation is to fit in with a group, right? (im not criticizing that either), but for me that is what the problem has been... I lost the actuall fundamentals of what socializing is... not a process of fitting into a clique, but based out of a real interest in other people.





Its strange...thats part of being conflicted. I Do want to *fit in* slightly, but just enough not be awkward, i couldnt stand being like most of the people around. I HAVE lost the fundamentals of socializing...i forget what *hanging out* is, and i feel i have an obligation, and then...because there's nothing to do, ever...feel like a let down.
I mean, my buddies just meet up, and drive around and do drug's or whatever..pretty much..all the time, but i only know some of them, and dont really have good vibe's towards some of the other's.

Quote:

forget other people for a moment and try and remember how to be comfortable with yourself, think about the things you really want out of life, your career? hobbies? travelling? do you have any sort of mission? I think if you set your mind on a life-long goal like that, then the friends just sort of fall into place.





Until fairly recently my *goal* was to do the best i can for the world..and it still is, but im putting myself first now. Taken the burden of a fucked up world off my back..and of course, now i have no way to validate *life*.

Its hard you know...I dont really have similar interests with people, espeiclaly guy's...especially my age. The *artsy* girl's are who are immature and fun and i get along...we're just complete lame'ass's together. I dont know about car's, or racing, im not all into coke, im not into going for coffee for hour's, or going to large public outings/parties whatever, i dont even know what to talk about, i dont know slang even, and i dont want to. Thats the thing.

Quote:

i think you are looking at yourself through 'social goggles' and just passing judgement about how much you suck.
you gotta take those things off man... shit gets fucked up, many people's lives go for weird twists and turns and they find themselves completely lost, but your not gonna get anywheres by focusing on negative things.





You are right, i am absolutely dead set on critisizing myself harshly... Actually yesterday i was forced into an awkward situation, just smoking dope with 2 kid's i havent hung out with for a long time, and it was pretty good...just *hanging out* So maybe itll come along. Im kind of swaying my fashion..slightly...too accomodate some social norm's a bit. (and in my head, i scream sell out.)

Why the hell do i think less of myself...for adapting. There's no social pressure on me, i know what i need to do...if i want to do it. Why do i battle an ideological battle in my head. *I dont want to be like them* *why cant i just hand out with them*...the balance is hard.

When i think, about 2 years of my life have been pretty fucked up, and nothing compared to some people...I shouldnt be bitchin or held back. Im kinda straight up about my past..."i fucked up, i did thing's irrationally and it put me on a fucked up course for destruction..and im trying to get out, dont hold it against me" more more or less.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineGrav
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1866796 - 08/30/03 09:36 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

damn dude, you sound EXACTLY like me..

you feel like your selling out by wanting to be more social. i used to feel just like that. basically i stopped believing in the substance of the "selling out" thing, it was just a concept i created in my head to make myself more comfortable. if anything you are being adventurous, your daring to push your boundaries.

your battling the ideologies, you've created wars in your mind, opposing perspectives clashing together. one side of you feels that innocent almost child-like urge to be happy amongst your peers, and then the other side says that it is bullshit, that is just what ignorant people do, etc. etc. What does it all MEAN though? do you really think this way of thinking is going to benefit you?

too many pre-perceived Rights and Wrongs.... not enough un-biased experience

and dont get me started on the weight of the world thing... man that shit drove me crazy. i felt like i needed to be setting an example 24/7... that i had to keep myself in constant check and not stray the course. all i can say is that thinking like that keeps you away from yourself, it removes you. i dont know about you but i am not ready to be a martyr for something i dont even understand. this state of mind also puts your daily life in "epic mode" where every little thing has these huge worldy meanings attached to it... I dunno, I might be losing you here.

anyways, i think the real point here is that you long for better communication with people, and theres nothing to be ashamed of or to feel 'sold out' about because of that. it's something you want and i think you owe it to yourself to strive for what it is you want. what's more important than that? you think it will just stop nagging you? No!, you have to go find out what this is really all about and stop analyzing it so much.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Grav]
    #1867829 - 08/31/03 08:49 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Aw man, thanks Grav, i find some comfort in your post's.

I went out tonite...it was fun. I even drank, and handle'd it just fine...I was more cheerful and...relaxed than normal isuppose. I sure wish i could do something to let this girl know i really like her. I dont want to blow this oppurtunity, although its not like i have a chance as it is.....bummmer.


(i typed a huge post addressing everyone and alot of issue's...and mycomputer stalled and i lost it, Ill attempt another when im a little less drunk. ALSO, sorry about lack of spaces some place's..my space key is fucked, sorry.)


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1871502 - 09/01/03 04:44 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

An eighth of Mushrooms and a couple hits of MDMA sure helped alot. We'll see if it helps in the long term...its just the morning after, but i have the willingness to do what i need to do now.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSheepish
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 5 days, 22 hours
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1873108 - 09/02/03 02:44 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Don't worry about "selling out". Just do whatever you feel the most comfortable doing. That's the way I've always lived - if I don't feel comfortable acting/dressing/looking a certain way, I won't even TRY and live up to it. If all your friends are quite accepting of the way you are, there's no reason why you should worry about that. Don't censor yourself, or water down your personality for others.
Just force yourself to go out with your friends. Sometimes I just want to be alone, and I'll do that every once in a while. But the rest of the time I force myself to go out, to be with my friends. It doesn't matter if I don't have much to say, because they can conversate too, and I just follow on that. I try to avoid spending an evening with just one friend though, because that's when my anxiety goes completely haywire. There's nothing scarier for me than being the only other end of the conversation, and having to think of things to say, so you don't bore them, or yourself.
As for the girl, well, just SAY something, anything to hint that you like her. It will be awkward, but you'll better to have got it out of the way. You may even surprise yourself, and get an entirely different reaction than you were expecting. Just try not to be too forthcoming. Don't tell her you love her, or anything really deep, as most girls don't tend to like hearing that out of nowhere.
Then again, I wouldn't take my advice, hehe, I'm no relationship expert. But just try. You'll kick yourself if you miss the chance, and won't know what MIGHT have been. Good luck with everything; I'm trying to take some huge steps social wise too, and if I can manage to do this, I'm sure you can.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Sheepish]
    #1873121 - 09/02/03 02:49 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah totally, i hate being with only one other person, i avoid it at all cost's for the most part. I think the MDMA really showed me how i need to be, it made me so sociable and confident, probably too much for my own good...but i remember clearly what *social* is, after lastnite.

As for the gal, i think im outta luck. I think i need to eat some E and talk to her...that would be easy.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflineSheepish
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 5 days, 22 hours
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: PDU]
    #1873167 - 09/02/03 03:06 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I realise that when I'm slightly drunk too. It seems to erase the fear or people thinking you're a gibbering idiot. Well, I most likely am a gibbering idiot at moments like that, but it pays to ignore what anyone MIGHT think. Most of the time it's just my mind being too paranoid about what they're thinking about me.
Only trouble is I don't like getting drunk too much, and I don't want to use that as my social ability crutch.
Why are you out of luck with the girl?
You probably read, but the other weekend, I ran into a girl I had a crush on (and still do have a lingering crush on) at a bar, and also a 21st party the following night. I always swore she would respond to me talking to her in the most disgusted snobby fashion I could imagine. I always assumed if I said Hi, she'd look at me with a disgusted look on my face and ignore me. Swear she hated me. Anyways, I saw her again at the 21st, after missing my chance the previous night, and kicking my sorry ass for it. It completely threw me off, and I remember just thinking "OH GOD, SHE'S HERE, WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO?" I had to DRAG my sorry ass out of the chair and go over and lightly tap her on the shoulder and stumble out nervously "Didn't you used to live on my street?" (And she did, that was my ice breaker, and I followed on from there with "Oh yeah, I thought I remembered you from somewhere"). She wasn't hostile/snobby towards me at all. It dawned on me as I was talking to her that it was ALL in my head. Every single doubt. It took me over 4 years to do that. I waited far too long, and I never took the chance to say Hi at school. It was always at the back of my mind on those sad, lonely days - how I never got to confront my fear and talk to her. It's kinda odd though - like some fucked up fate, if you will. That I got given an extra chance to grow some balls and do something.
And the best part is - she's most likely going to be at my friend's next gig. And oh hell, I'm slowly counting the days before then.

E might help, a small amount of alcohol could too. Whichever you choose, don't go overboard, as I've witnessed some friends plans of finally making a move/telling a girl about how they feel go to shit because they got absolutely plastered.
And if you hesistate, imagine a mini version of me, sitting on your left shoulder screaming "GO MY SON!!!"  :grin: 


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
OfflinePDU
travel kid vs.amerika
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/04/02
Posts: 10,675
Loc: beautiful BC
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Observable Fuck-up. [Re: Sheepish]
    #1873343 - 09/02/03 04:03 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

I havent really liked drinking either, but the other night was different, i had probably 7 shots and smoked some good pot and felt really good and non toxic all nite, its really great for lowering inhibitions.

Im out of luck with the girl because other friends in the circle have more going for them than me, and have her interest alot more.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
Jump to top. Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Original Seeds Store Shop: buy cannabis seeds, Buy CBD

Community >> Physical and Mental Well-Being

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Fuck alchohol
( 1 2 all )
Dreamer987 5,128 39 05/19/04 01:57 AM
by wandrnshaman
* physical,emotional, and subconscious well being... 40oz 2,457 11 04/05/03 12:00 PM
by 40oz
* OF FUCK !
( 1 2 all )
Earth_Droid 3,245 23 04/24/03 01:00 PM
by Strumpling
* WHAT... A... FUCKING... BITCH!!!!!! Cracka_X 1,881 12 07/06/03 01:35 PM
by resin
* My Doctor is Fucking Insane!!!
( 1 2 all )
Earth_Droid 3,976 20 05/26/03 03:03 AM
by matts
* I Fucking Hate my Living Situation Earth_Droid 2,939 18 05/11/03 12:35 AM
by si1988crx
* I fucking give up Earth_Droid 2,237 13 05/17/03 11:18 AM
by Strumpling
* fucking mood swings.... phishytrip 925 3 07/25/03 10:26 AM
by Quadrant6

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, boO, Rose, yogabunny, Jokeshopbeard, CookieCrumbs, Memories
3,442 topic views. 0 members, 9 guests and 3 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Toggle Favorite | Print Topic | Stats ]
Search this thread:
Crestline Sales - MycoPath
Please support our sponsors.

Copyright 1997-2017 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.036 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 22 queries.