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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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Trip Report: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide
    #1473318 -

This may end up being a little long, but I'd appreciate it if you read it....

My brother and I ate our first 4 grams last night, and it was not a good idea. I'm in the middle of finals right now at U of M and because of this and my procrastination I only got about 3 hours of sleep Thursday and Friday night. My bro and I decided to munch them at about 11:30 p.m. last night, and after about 20 minutes of chilling in my room and nothing, my brother went to bed and said he'd be back if he started seeing pretty colors. I was tired as hell, and all I wanted was sleep, so I decided to lay down. The high started to kick in, and I was enjoying the feeling for a while and the way everything seemed to look a little different. However, I was so fuckin tired I just thought I'd lay back and doze off... well that wasn't gonna work.

I regularly would have tried to stay up and enjoy, but aside from me being tired, I have a huge paper I really need to write today and I wanted to get up early to get a start. Aside from finals, I've been having the most busy and stressful couple weeks of my life. A couple weeks ago I lost my management job at Hot 'n Now hamburgers when my boss walked in on us smoking a joint. He called the cops, and I got a misdemeanor charge for "loitering where drugs are kept." I appeared in court, but sentencing is still coming up. On top of that, I've spent over 600 dollar in the past couple weeks on car troubles, including but not limited to brake pad replacements, a battery replacement, and the loss of my tail pipe. Back to my job, I went to work last week to get my check and found no check there, apparently the owner doesn't think I deserve to be paid. I've been trying to contact him telling him that if he doesn't pay me this will go to court. On top of that I have this annoying girlfriend of my friend's wanting to be my best friend that I can't stand, almost to the point of stalking me. I thought I could get all this off my mind....

Anyway, at about 3 am I realized "Hey, I haven't fuckin slept for four hours." Or did I? I had this weird Fight Club-esque situation where I wasn't sure if I slept or not, but all I know was that I was miserable and tired, so it sure as hell didn't feel like it. At that point I was really fuckin hot, and really really tired. I was so hot I decided to get completely naked for comfort. Still too hot so I got out of my blanket and got under my sheet blanket. Too cold. Back under the warm blanket. This happened many times along with me tossing and turning for hours and hours. I had a high going, but no visuals... I heard it was hard to sleep on shrooms, but I didn't know it was FUCKIN IMPOSSIBLE.

Laying there in bed, I tried anything to make it better. I put on some Phish, hoping that "Bouncing Around the Room" would make me happy as always. I started to think about everything, and I started wishing someone else was there with me. You may not want to hear this, but I jerked off for the momentary release. I was so miserable and so wanting of sleep I realized and said to myself at one point "If I was suicidal, I'd do it here." I'm serious, too, at that point I felt so miserable and my life seemed so miserable, it seemed like the easiest way out of it all was to go get my locknife and jam it into my neck, which didn't even seem like it would be painfall at that time. I understood how people felt when they got that far, especially on a drug like heroin where you don't even feel pain. Anyway, I'm far too mentally stable to think of doing that seriously, so I just rolled around in bed trying to make the best of it for the next hour or so. I also realized, being an atheist, why many people would believe in god with no evidence.... at such a stressful moment being able to fall back on something like a god could be sanity-saving, almost like a defense mechanism of sorts.

After going through the tossing and turning process for a little while longer a weird tripped-out trip or two to the bathroom, my brother walked into the room. Words can't express the joy I felt when I saw him walk into my room... he was my savior. Another human being to talk to! He said that he woke up at about 2 am seeing pretty colors, and went downstairs to play some Unreal Tournament. He explained to me that the first time we ate shrooms together he felt miserable for the night too, even at one point saying to himself "If I were suicidal, I'd do it now." Holy shit, I thought when he said that. He said that was probably because he wanted sleep really really bad because he had to get up at 6 in the morning the next day. I went downstairs with him, had something to drink, and we talked for a while. We went back upstairs where I fell asleep sometime around 6 am.

That was one of the weirdest and most miserable experiences of my life. It's not quite such a big deal now, I'm not traumatized of shrooms, and I plan to shroom again next weekend, having school overwith at that point and all. I'm just going to do it earlier on in the evening of a day when I am well-slept. I think I could have made a better experience out of it if it weren't for my blind 4-hour struggle for sleep. Or did I sleep? Weird. I'm confident I can make something positive out of this next time, and I was fucking surprised at the potency of my homegrown B+!

Has anyone else ever had an experience like this before?


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

Edited by geokills (04/20/03 03:27 PM)

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #1473956 -

It just goes to show how important it is to respect what psychedelics can do to you. Its all about set and setting, like they say. Although I habitually trip alone, many people hate it and will have a miserable trip if there aren't others tripping with them. Of course being drained and having the worries about obligations is more likely the culprit here :smile: 

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: Buddrow]
    #1506720 -

man all i can say is why would you take them if you didnt wnat to trip cause you had to do shit in the morning and all..no offence jsut confused..................PEaces


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Mice have feelings

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #1507486 -

I don't know. I was too anxious to try them, didn't know I would be so tired, and didn't know it was impossible to sleep under their influence. Just a bad choice.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #1508630 -

Oh well, lessons can be learned from everything can't they? And look on the bright side, at least you didn't stick a lockknife in throat!


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"I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale." -William Clinton.

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: Dank420]
    #1510268 -

Next time have a good setting (which means havign a good week as well, at work, school or otherwise). If you're currently in the shitcan for one reason or another, thenw ait off on the shrooms until you know the time is right. Also another thing, if you're going to shroom, don't fight it once it's in your system.


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"Not All Who Wander Are Lost" - Tolkien

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: Dank420]
    #1512066 -

Quote:
Oh well, lessons can be learned from everything can't they? And look on the bright side, at least you didn't stick a lockknife in throat!


hahahahaha. Well I guess that is a bright side. It was a learning experience and I'll never make those mistakes again--especially trying to fight it.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #1512313 -

I remember once after smoking like 5 bowls with a friend, (who i am no longer friends with) told me that the weed was sprinkled with PCP (i beleived him to, as I was having weird ass visuals before he mentioned it, and the pot tasted odd)

atfirst I was pissed and was having a horrible time, then I thought "eh fuck it, its to late now" so I sat back and enjoyed it.


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"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable." - Hunter S Thompson

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Re: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: Sombie]
    #1514380 -

I would brow beat someone for lacing something and not telling me until after it was smoked.
My friend's girlfriend laced a joint with something that he still doesn't know what it was and they were on the road to Miami. He said that it looked like everything was melting or that water was runnind down the side of things but it wasn't raining. He also felt stoned but real jittery as well like it might have had some type of speed affect.
He asked me what it was but I had no clue.


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YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH ANY GIVEN DRUG ISN'T THE DEFINITIVE MEASURE OF THE DRUGS EFFECTS.

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Re: Trip Report: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #1515176 -

Quote:
I lost my management job at Hot 'n Now hamburgers when my boss walked in on us smoking a joint. He called the cops, and I got a misdemeanor charge for "loitering where drugs are kept."



That charge makes no sense..do they routinely keep drugs at the Hot 'n Now hamburgers? How would you be loitering if your at work?


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http://heffter.org

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Re: Trip Report: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: motaman]
    #1517632 -

They raided the desk and found a joint and some paraphernalia that I admitted was mine. They let me get off on the weak charge I guess. That charge basically means you were in the area where drugs are being kept and you knew about it.


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Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

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Re: Trip Report: A Bad Trip and Sympathy for Suicide [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #1522864 -

My first trip was a level five and I tripped in my room for about ten hours. I also stripped down, I guess its a common thing to feel no need for your clothes for one reason or another. Almost all the bad trips I've heard of happened because the person fought the trip as LostMetropolis said, or was afraid of loosing control.
A friend of mine (LSD user) ate an 1/8th of the same ones I had (3 grams) and tried to jump out a 3 story window because he thought he was on fire. But I guess anyone who would drive home on the interstate while tripping on cid isnt mentally stable anyway


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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