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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Relationships, learning the hard way as I go. Help please. [Re: PowerTrip]
    #10904214 -

PowerTrip said:
You just want to argue for the sake of arguing.  This isnt the philosophy forum.


Actually, I want to critically discuss certain aspects of what you said because I find them to be bad advice.
I'm disappointed that you were never capable of actually discussing the merit of your ideas with me instead of instantly avoiding addressing anything from my criticism of what you said.

Obviously, this is not the philosophy forum, yet it is a discussion forum, and I see no reason why the fact that this isn't the philosophy forum somehow means that posters aren't permitted to discuss the merits of the advice others give. You were under no obligation to reply to me if you were not interested in having such a discussion with me.
Pretending that me and my posts aren't here doesn't make it so. :lol:


Quote:
OP: You want to know how rational the advice is you're getting from someone, click on their profile and see how many people are ignoring them.  It's for a reason.


Any reasonable, balanced individual understands that the rationality of a specific advice is contained solely within that advice.
How many posters and their puppets buried their heads in the sand provides no insight into the actual nature of the advice given. :sorry:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: Relationships, learning the hard way as I go. Help please. [Re: fireworks_god]
    #10924951 -

Well I fucked it up all over again, so I guess I should be asking how I should cope without freaking out.  We hadn't had sex in like a month, so I looked at porn on my iphone, she found out and I lied about it, I mean I was embarrassed but that's stupid of me.  Now I'm probably never going to get back with her which I guess is fine because that means I can just give up for awhile on life, finally quit my shitty job and start smoking cigs again (it's been two years but I'm so stressed I just want a fucking cigarette).

Sucks to be a loser...


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OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


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. [Re: Maverick]
    #10925027 -

.

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Re: Relationships, learning the hard way as I go. Help please. [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #10925893 -

You could give up on life, quit your job and start smoking. Smoking does take the edge off. But really, what have you lost? If by some chance you had avoided the phone incident, you would still be tip toeing around the situation. How many weeks, months or years of that would be sufficient? People think that if they can just get over "this" hump, things will be smooth sailing, but we carry our problems with us. This is an opportunity to have a closer look at your problems. When things are good, there is no incentive to change. When things are shaky, people still don't want to "rock the boat".

But the relationship did what it was meant to do. I mean, perhaps not from a biological perspective. From a biological perspective gratification is success, but it seems this isn't the only reason for having relationships. Relationships will dig into your soul and force your flaws to the surface like nothing else. If you don't want to look at your flaws, feel the pain of them, and hopefully rise above them, relationships are bad news.

But if you are not willing to examine your flaws, you will continue to live with them. In your mind you probably know all of this, but the emotion is troublesome. What I would do is spend some time giving the emotion my full attention. Feel the pain of it and see if there is something else there. Emotional pain only exists in order to relay a message. Discover the message, and the pain will vanish.


--------------------
rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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. [Re: Rahz]
    #10926439 -

.

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Re: Relationships, learning the hard way as I go. Help please. [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #10928733 -

It's difficult to not focus on the pain, it seems to suffocate me and cause me to want to give up on things.  I haven't given up on work yet but I feel the urge to that's for sure.  I really want things to work out but she's called me a few times telling me that we're through and she doesn't even want to stay as friends.  I can understand that but I feel shitty and I don't know where to begin coping with this and still carrying on and being inspired enough immediately after the incident to keep up with daily life.  I just want to sit around and think about it and not bother with anything else, but that's not the approach I should be taking.


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OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


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. [Re: Maverick]
    #10929080 -

.

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Re: Relationships, learning the hard way as I go. Help please. [Re: z_x_x_z]
    #10929252 -

Yeah I just hate the feeling that it feels like my perspective on life has also changed, it feels like I've seen a side of myself I don't care to see, and I've realized how few friends I have in life.  It's pretty depressing, and I'm trying to get back to the feeling I used to feel before I met her and found out so much about myself.  I'll bare with it but it's very difficult, I find it hard to motivate myself.

I don't like knowing this side of myself.


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OP is now RP!  Read about it here!


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Re: Relationships, learning the hard way as I go. Help please. [Re: Maverick]
    #10931556 -

DRTMaverick said:
I really want things to work out but she's called me a few times telling me that we're through and she doesn't even want to stay as friends.


So she is contacting you to tell you she wants nothing to do with you?  If that's true...what a cunt..  She's probably just trying to gauge how attached you are to her because she gets an ego boost out of it.  Stop taking her calls immediately..  She's the drug that's killing you and a full detox is what's needed here.  Careful though, when she senses you breaking free of her expect her to switch it up and act like she might like you again.

Sorry to be the cold voice of reality but this chick is no good for you.  All this shit and you get back with her only to have her go off on you for looking at porn.  She sounds like a typical crazy to be honest.  Tell me if your ideal woman would act that way.  In fact, tell me if your ideal woman would even make you want to look at porn.  Is that her?  While we're on the subject, make a list of what you want in a woman and tell me how many of those qualities this girl has.

Bottom line, there's a better one out there for you.  Release yourself from this one so you can go find her.

Work on yourself now.  See how far you'll be in 15 years when she is living in the same apartment tormenting some other poor guy and her kids now in their late teens are getting pregnant and repeating the same pathetic cycle..


--------------------
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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