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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #10074140 -

:lol:

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #10074157 -

:highfive:

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10074440 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Anonymous #3 said:
try not worrying about sex? are you having it and you want to be more freaky? ot are you trying to be more open in order to get it?


I'm trying to be more open in order to get it. Like one thing I'm afraid of is girl talking, because I don't want to have bad sex.

I don't know #8, regardless if the girl is intro or extro, it's still going to be up to me to have the sex. And it's hard to lead the situation into that.


Honestly I know how you feel here, and I'm not going to bullshit, I dont exactly get a lot of action.

But I have gotten some, and everytime its been more about what I HAVEN'T said rather than what I've said.

Isnt it like 80% of communication isnt verbal anyway? If you aren't good at flirting and getting through to a girl through chatting....just try it using body language and eye contact.

First date I went out with this girl, I was really kinda nervous, had no idea what to say. She ended up doing most of the talking..I just listened, asked her questions...did my best to seem relaxed. I always kept strong eye contact with her, and offered to buy her drinks, made sure I made body contact with her.

When I drove her home she asked me to spend the night, and it was all downhill from there.

So ya see....sometimes it really takes no effort at all, just gotta let it happen. :shrug:

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10074596 -

Anonymous #1 said:
Quote:
Extroverted (E) 54.76% Introverted (I) 45.24%
Sensing (S) 58.06% Intuitive (N) 41.94%
Thinking (T) 61.11% Feeling (F) 38.89%
Judging (J) 62.86% Perceiving (P) 37.14%

ESTJ - "Administrator". Much in touch with the external environment. Very responsible. Pillar of strength. 8.7% of total population.



Like I said... I'd rather be much more extroverted. What can one do to become more like this? Say what you're thinking 24/7? Wear bright clothes?


haha, you're not even an introvert.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10074617 -

Anonymous #9 said:
Introversion is better.  People who can't be content alone with themselves are weak.


:thumbup:


Anonymous #1 said:
I just wish I knew how to be more sexually extrovertive, because right now I don't think I can do that.


this is funny, I can kind of relate.  First of all I am afraid to initiate conversation with girls- I do best when they come on to me.  But what is funny is the first time I had sex, I was terrible at starting things up, the girl I was with said she feels like she is raping me, lol- but then I put my dick in her vagina and things went uphill :omgawesome:  I was stoned too- maybe that is the problem--- I also think I may have fucked her a bit too rough towards the end of our sex

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #10075074 -

Anonymous #9 said:
Introversion is better.  People who can't be content alone with themselves are weak.


very very true.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10076295 -

introversion isn't necessarily "strong".  A lot of introversion seems to stem from insecurity.

"Im not sure if what I have to say matters."

"I get nervous when talking to people"

etc.  Those are not strong thought patterns to have.  Maybe if your introversion stemmed from:

"I'm not interested in others because I'm smarter than them and they will just drag me down."

"I don't care about others opinions of me and don't seek any form of approval hence my quietness"

then your introversion comes from strength.

Extroversion can come from a place of strength or weakness as well.

"I actively seek for others to approve of my personality so I am talkative.  I am always willing to go the distance to have someone like me."

VS

"I do my best to work well with others.  I enjoy communicating and have my likes and dislikes figured out.  I actively give out approval and disapproval to those who I am communicating with.  I use others approval and disapproval only as a reference frame, never adjusting my personality unless its in MY best interest."


See?

I've been a hardcore INTJ (almost completely introverted) for years, but in the pursuit of sex I've been learning to be more socially intuitive and extroverted.  I've been pretty successful considering for 3 years I got no vaginas, and in the few months I've been going out of my way to show the world MY personality/character (which I've created and seek to master the art of acting out) I've gotten 3 vaginas and a couple chicks I wouldn't do into me.  Here are some affirmations I've embedded into my consciousness:

I audition others, especially women and decide if they meet my standards.

I am almost always in a good mood

I am energetic and positive.

I take good care of my physical self.  Hygiene, body, and grooming.

I radiate positive energy

I am sexual and unapologetic for this aspect of my character.

I am confident and unapologetic for this aspect of my character.

I am relaxed

I like to tease and enjoy being playful.

I keep my power for me.

All reactions provide something beneficial to learn.

maintain a relaxation of mind, body, and pace.

I assume rapport, whether with male or female.

I am persistent and never give up on social success.  I feel comfortable in all social situations.

When I am with a girl, I am relaxed about the outcome.

When I am interested, I assume a sexual undertone, using sexy eye contact, a low pitched voice with mysterious/sexy tonality, close proximity when appropriate and touching whenever natural.

I take up a lot of space when walking, sitting, hanging out.

I am comfortable with temporary or prolongued physical contact from males or females.

I am calmer than everyone around me in situations of stress.

I am the leader of the conversation.  I choose when it begins, ends, or shifts subjects.

I smile or laugh only when I feel that the person with whom I am talking deserves it.
I have strong faith in my actions, words, and abilities.

I support others.  Especially those who have supported me and even more those who have shown they do not.

I encourage others in their goals and have faith in them.  Especially those who have encouraged me and even more those who have tried to discourage me.

I never use excuses to explain my actions.

Time with me is valuable and rare.  I am busy and focused on the things I want.

I choose the frame in conversations, always.  I decide the mood of a conversation and the underlying beliefs about it.  My frame is untouchable.

I pay attention to the pace of my words.  I speak slowly because I am confident that others are interested in the words I have to say.
I am always willing to take the lead whenever it is natural.

I am always comfortable when talking to others and groups.

I make strong eye contact.  When making especially strong eye contact I smirk just slightly as if to say I know more than they do.

When a male seems to be competitive or challenging in a group I smirk a little and raise an eyebrow.  I comment when he's finished.

I show social strength around challenging strong males with compliments and the social pressure of a psychological spotlight in groups.

I am fully comfortable having complete control of a group.

I qualify men naturally and when they pass I compliment then and before they can respond I tell a story and allow a more natural conversational continuation.

When someone says something I don't like, I smile, roll my eyes a little, and give them a look as if they were a cute little kid.

I expend the least amount of nervous energy in all social situations.  I allow others to wonder if they are impressing me or not, but I never wonder myself.

I am talkative.  I am direct and honest.  Whenever I feel the need to say something I say it.  I am a talkative person and quickly gain rapport and naturally vibe with others.

I am an expert in vibing.  I offer positive encouragement whenever natural.  I offer advice only when it is directly solicited.

My body is a pillar of confidence when I communicate with others.  I am natural and stable.  My body is still except when using my body to aid in my communication.

I walk with my chest out and my groin forward.  Slowly and confidently.  Erect.

I keep my stories short and to the point.

I only use self deprecating humor when it is an obvious joke and actually implies something positive about me.

I keep my talk about others classy and positive.

I live a life of discipline and fun.  I am always in control of my actions.

I work hard to accomplish my goals.

If I set a standard for myself, I live by that standard unwaveringly.

I only tolerate respectful behavior.

I almost never use profanity.

I can live my entire life beneficially because I am a very intelligent person and capable of careful observation and positivity.

I take in knowledge from my surroundings every second of every day.  I implement positive information immediately into my lifestyle.

Using positive information, routines, techniques, behaviors, and social skills are natural to me.  I absorb them and filter them taking all the positive and beneficial information and immediately implementing it into my lifestyle.

I am an immediate adapter.  I immediately recognize successful behavior and implement it into my long term lifestyle and character. It is replaced only by an even more successful behavior.

I know my character and I act him out perfectly.  I pick the best qualities for him available out of an enormous selection.  My character is hand selected by me because my self is who selects these qualities.  I know every one of these qualities to its very core and live them flawlessly. All of my qualities are positive because I consciously and subconsciously choose the best ones and then consciously and subconsciously add them to my character fully and completely.




Good luck in your journey.  Come up with your own affirmations or use and modify mine.  I innovated a few of those and took other ones from various sources and made the modifications I needed.  I say them to myself at the beginning and end of each day while completely engrossing myself in them, imagining them completely.  Positive self-talk comes off to some as cheesy, but its a proven very effective tool.  Sorry to make this so long, I just feel like I was in your place.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #10076316 -

I take in knowledge from my surroundings every second of every day.  I implement positive information immediately into my lifestyle.


The very fact that you are conscious of this came from introversion.  And using profanity doesnt have SHIT to do with any of this. Your quest for pussy is bullshit, youre focused on the wrong shit buddy.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10076388 -

Admittedly some of my affirmations stem from personal preference.  Its not solely a quest for pussy either.  It started as that, became a quest for self knowledge, and has turned out really well for me so far.  I will always be primarily an introvert.  But, now I'm an introvert who is capable of being extroverted when it benefits me.  My inner dialogue dies off naturally when I talk to others naturally now as a result of these affirmations.

I am very capable of being content alone.  That's natural for me.  Now I'm getting down to being content around others.  There are whole different belief systems that lie behind those two worlds.  I don't think one is better than the other, I'm just trying to maximize my ability of getting what I want out of life.  I could just "want less", but that is unsatisfactory to me.  Instead I strive to get what I want.  My road might not work for everyone, it might just be the striving that makes it work.

Edited by Anonymous (03/30/09 08:15 PM)

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10076464 -

Damn, #12 that is quite the list. No offense but some of these things make you sound like you behave like an arrogant asshole.

Quote:
I make strong eye contact.  When making especially strong eye contact I smirk just slightly as if to say I know more than they do.

I am the leader of the conversation.  I choose when it begins, ends, or shifts subjects.

I choose the frame in conversations, always.  I decide the mood of a conversation and the underlying beliefs about it.  My frame is untouchable.

Time with me is valuable and rare.  I am busy and focused on the things I want.

When someone says something I don't like, I smile, roll my eyes a little, and give them a look as if they were a cute little kid.

My body is a pillar of confidence when I communicate with others.

I walk with my chest out and my groin forward.  Slowly and confidently.  Erect.


I like some of the first aphorisms you mentioned, but no offense loosen up. You sound like the last person I want to have a conversation with. :shrug:

Ever say to yourself,

"I will listen to this person and discover what I can do to help them."?

or

"I realize I am not perfect, and its alright to rely on others."

???

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #10076498 -

Its not all about being the most best and baddest of all the guys just so you can get a vagina.

Its about being who you are, so you can find whats right for you.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #10076553 -

Anonymous #12 said:
Admittedly some of my affirmations stem from personal preference.  Its not solely a quest for pussy either.  It started as that, became a quest for self knowledge, and has turned out really well for me so far.  I will always be primarily an introvert.  But, now I'm an introvert who is capable of being extroverted when it benefits me.  My inner dialogue dies off naturally when I talk to others naturally now as a result of these affirmations.

I am very capable of being content alone.  That's natural for me.  Now I'm getting down to being content around others.  There are whole different belief systems that lie behind those two worlds.  I don't think one is better than the other, I'm just trying to maximize my ability of getting what I want out of life.  I could just "want less", but that is unsatisfactory to me.  Instead I strive to get what I want.  My road might not work for everyone, it might just be the striving that makes it work.


we are the same person, only i got to that point just by paying attention to how people reacted toward me.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #10076627 -

All of my beliefs interplay and work well together and I live them very subtly, never making them obvious.  If you met me I have a feeling you'd be surprised to find how down to earth I am.  I walk upright now because I always walked extremely hunched.  After reading about body language I know this is a pretty common sign of insecurity.  I am far from perfect and I like your advice for actively acknowledging that.  Something I strive for is moving closer to my ideal of a good, positive person who works well with others.  I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I ever was.


Quote:
I support others.  Especially those who have supported me and even more those who have shown they do not.

I encourage others in their goals and have faith in them.  Especially those who have encouraged me and even more those who have tried to discourage me.


I allow myself to be supported by others, but only when it is in my best interest.  Something I learned was that beyond the people that love you unconditionally, everyone has to look out for themselves before they can look out for others. 

I really do agree with you in regards to not having to be the best and the baddest.  However, before I was very meek and quiet.  I more often came off as arrogant because I didn't actively engage others and would turn down invitations to hang out, sit by myself (since sitting with 'the group' I've learned most people assume people who do this think they're better than them) etc.

The thing about personality/character is I don't feel its set in stone.  I feel people don't have to keep dysfunctional personality traits simply because "I am what I am and thats all that I am."  If an aspect of your personality is limiting your happiness you can either accept it and find a way to be happy despite it, or change it.  In my experience changing it is harder, but more fulfilling.  Everyone is different though, and theres certainly no one true path.  I just wanted to share whats been improving my quality of life for a while now and making me feel better about my self while making sure never to make others feel down on themselves.
Quote:
I keep my talk about others classy and positive.


These affirmations work for the character that I am developing.  Some people will want a different character and if they choose to use affirmations/positive self-talk will need vastly different ones.  Just sharing my journey.  :wink:

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10076661 -

Quote:
we are the same person, only i got to that point just by paying attention to how people reacted toward me.


I tend to do this as well, i'll review my affirmations and make sure they better reflect this because I think this is the right mentality to have.  I just have to make sure I don't take their reactions too personally and instead just take them as learning experiences.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #10076674 -

I keep my talk about others classy and positive.


i keep it real.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #10076677 -

Anonymous #12 said:
Quote:
we are the same person, only i got to that point just by paying attention to how people reacted toward me.


I tend to do this as well, i'll review my affirmations and make sure they better reflect this because I think this is the right mentality to have.  I just have to make sure I don't take their reactions too personally and instead just take them as learning experiences.


precisely.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10077158 -

Yea #12 you sound like a tight ass, lol. Do you ever smoke weed?

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10077175 -

Quote:
I qualify men naturally and when they pass I compliment then and before they can respond I tell a story and allow a more natural conversational continuation.

When someone says something I don't like, I smile, roll my eyes a little, and give them a look as if they were a cute little kid.


Wow, dude, I take back what I said. You sound like a fucking weirdo.

Quote:
I know my character and I act him out perfectly.  I pick the best qualities for him available out of an enormous selection.  My character is hand selected by me because my self is who selects these qualities.  I know every one of these qualities to its very core and live them flawlessly. All of my qualities are positive because I consciously and subconsciously choose the best ones and then consciously and subconsciously add them to my character fully and completely.


I love meeting fake people, let me tell you.

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10077196 -

So anyways back to the topic at hand, how can a person be extroverted physically in public?

I think this is one of my fears, I hate it when people see me touching other people. Like holding hands in public, I don't know why, it just makes me feel like I appear like I can't be okay with myself. Like I need to hold her hand or something.

You know? How does one get over this?

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Re: Introversion vs Extroversion [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10077215 -

#12, your exacting systemization of interpersonal relationships makes me think of you as a guy similar to Christial Bale in "American Psycho", Hannibal Lecter, Charles Manson or something far scarier.

Edited by Anonymous (03/30/09 09:56 PM)

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