my new job doesnt give me time to talk cause while im at work she is asleep and while im asleep im at work. i really needed to get my thoughts and shit out so i wrote this:
do not fucking bull shit me. I'm not that dumb nor am i insecure. i just don't appreciate the shit you're trying to pull. I'm not going to get into details, but this fuck #### seems to be the only guy you go out of your way to talk too. the fucked part is hes not a high school friend, he is not a friend of the family and you did not know him growing up. supposedly you only knew him from work and you guys never talked outside of work, but yet you seem to talk to him a lot more then anyone else on your shit. fuck ####, you met him like what, 2 years ago. he must of had some "impact" on you.
its pretty apparent that you're only here until you can get on your feet and find a place of your own. if you want to see some one else then go for it. i don't care. just don't treat me like I'm stupid and do not try and hide shit.
i don't care what you do anymore. i can careless about myspace or the people you talk too. change your password so i can't get in, get a phone and talk to them, fuck, use #### phone. just show some respect and do not treat me like I'm dumb. i see what the fuck you're doing.
i just don't understand why you sneak around like this and then act like you're not doing anything wrong. you deleted all the inbox messages, sent messages, trash and all the emails from ####. what are you trying to hide??? I'm not stupid so please stop playing dumb. I'm really not insecure, i just want to know the truth with you. I'm tired of always wondering what the fuck it is you are doing. I'm not saying you fuck every guy you come in contact with. I'm not even saying that you have slept with anyone ever. I just think there is a lot of shit that happens with you that i have no idea about because you know its wrong.
just by reading some of your conversation last night i know that if #### wanted to meet up to smoke and hang out you would and i would never know. he could of said, "lets hang out tomorrow." and you would have agreed and you would never tell me. i really cant trust you and i don't think i will ever be able to trust you. you are too damn sneaky and you leave shit out and hide shit from me all the time.
if some one were to ask me if you have ever cheated on me i would never be able to confidently say NO. not because I'm insecure, but because i really don't know.
stop playing games and be honest. we both need to grow up and start thinking about ####. if you have plans of moving on then i need to know now before its too late and she gets caught up in the middle.
(i didnt realize i repeated myself so much when i wrote this.)
she was trying to be nice to me last night and this morning, but i really wasnt giving her the time of day.
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