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Ever wonder what its all for?
    #8677112 -

Sometimes I find myself thinking that life could and should be so much simpler... Eat sleep shit fuck and die, that should be priority.
I look around all the time at all the "sheeople" who do the daily grind...
Awake at 6am, traffic from hell all the way to work, Bosses, co workers, deadlines, appointments... then guess what, when the days all over you get to Grind your ass thru traffic all the way home just to get there and step in a cold pile of dog shit that all 3 kids looked at as they walked past on their way in the door, and get in a fight with the wife (for those of you who have them) to go out and get drunk/stoned to kill the pain of Reality, Just so you can wake up and do it all again the next day, and the next...

So when is life supposed to become interesting?

Sometimes I contemplate the thought of setting my house on fire, fueling the flames with all of the "Evidence" and just disappearing to fuck only knows where, no cares no looking back.

I probably think all of this because im the guy that had it all... Wife, Kids, Good Job, Home, Cars, Toys and Hobbies.
Then all in 1 fateful day, she flipped out, had me arrested, evicted and reposessed. She took the kids, just to keep me from seeing the STILL TO THIS DAY! We Divorced a very short time later, and I havent seen my kids in over 2 months now and 1 of them just turned 4 a few days ago...

If it werent for my kids, I think id be dead by now, and her keeping me from them makes me feel like im going back into my old ways, before kids ways....
Im finding myself slipping..... slipping into depression and slipping into myself badly... I feel more "at home" when I am totally alone in my house ( i have roommates) when im around people i find myself getting edgy, ballsy and rude to people, because I just want to be alone, when im alone i just want life to end... Im always saying out loud when im alone "I hate life" and "I hate my life" and when people begin to even "act" like they care about me I end up yelling in their faces "No Body Cares About Me!!!"
My Mother Admittedly Hates me, and my Dad stays out of it, My sisters hate me because I hate them or their Husbands...
I have 3 "friends" and I always think to myself that they arent very smart.

So intelligent conversation is out of the question, because i strike up a seemingly intelligent conversation with them and it ends up being me Knowledgeably explaining something that they have no care about in the world, so i get what i like to call "wall responses" in return... Yes im known to physically talk to the walls when im being ignored...
Then at that the stuff i know does me no good in a normal society, or if so its because im the best "Good, Bad Example"

It seems that I am just rambling about shit i need off my chest so i will stop here and see if anyone else posts behind this in response...

M

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8677164 -

Do you believe in God or have other spirituality? Maybe you just need a new job to meet new people and experience old experiences to "reset" your life.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8677184 -

Anonymous said:
Do you believe in God or have other spirituality? Maybe you just need a new job to meet new people and experience old experiences to "reset" your life.



Agreed. Christ's guiding light can and will shine through the monotony of life if you accept it into your heart.

Have you been baptized?

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8677186 -

Yes life is what you make of it, your best bet is finding a job you love, or at least a hobby that fulfills you...and ofcourse like ^ above says you could go the spiritual route and convince yourself theres something more, something better coming.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #8677221 -

OP Here:

Yes Im Baptized... Lutheran, Passed thru the Communion and Everything, and Im not sure I believe in a single Omni-Presence, God, Satan Heaven or hell...
I always favored the Greek Gods best, If that says anything of my Religion.

I have a job that I love... Graveyard shift, no other Co-workers, no boss over the shoulder.
Show up basically when I want, Leave when I want, Sleep if I want.

Hobbies... LOL. I have more Hobbies than 10 men need ranging from Woodworking to Art to Computers to Mushroom/Marijuana/Cacti Cultivation...since the wife and kids are gone:( but on a side not I do not consume them, any of them, I dont even drink or Smoke...

Man, I just dont know anymore...
M

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8677237 -

Anonymous said:
I dont even drink or Smoke..




Problem.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8677246 -

Dude, I haven't been where you have but, I am in a pretty shitty place right now.  The only thing I can tell you is Ride it out.  Some sh!t is bound to clear up, start looking for the little things that make your Sh!t life a little better, no matter how small it may be sometimes is enough to make it through another day.  Sounds weird, but volunteer.  I found it very rewarding to help people.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #8677251 -

I dont see the problem in not destroying my body with Tobacco and Alcohol.

Tell ya what, I drove drunk Once in my life... I ran over 11 feet of fence in my friends brand new Mustang... NEVER AGAIN, besides Iv only been drunk like 6 times in my Life!
When I smoked Weed at least I could drive on it and not wreck up somebody's Shit!

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #8677262 -

OP Here:

Anonymous said:
Dude, I haven't been where you have but, I am in a pretty shitty place right now.  The only thing I can tell you is Ride it out.  Some sh!t is bound to clear up, start looking for the little things that make your Sh!t life a little better, no matter how small it may be sometimes is enough to make it through another day.  Sounds weird, but volunteer.  I found it very rewarding to help people.



4 years and counting of "riding it out" went to college, graduated top of the class in half the normal time.
I cant physically "work" due to an accident I was in almost 2 years ago now

M

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8678466 -

step one) make Jim Bean and coke

step two) fire up a bowl of some excellent dro

step three) smoke a cigarette

step four) laugh at the other people running around all hurried taking everything so seriously

step five) play GTA4 and watch Reno 911 (Fuck tha police)


everybody wonders what it's all for, some of us pack as much enjoyment as possible into our daily lives and routines, to get the most out of our possibly pointless lives, and others worry all day and think about the past. i've been both, never been depressed since i changed to the former.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #8678556 -

OP here.

All this stuff saying my problem is I dont drink or Smoke is bullshit. And hearing it over and over and over just depresses me more... Fucking life sucks, all i wanted was a family, I got one and now I dont have one and I dont even get to talk to my kids... How the fuck would you feel?

I think your all a bunch of druggies.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8678679 -

Well you're willing to take care of your body and prolong your lifespan by not smoking out, or drinking. Yet, at the same time, your not enjoying yourself...

Take a druggies advice, and move on with life. Live with what you have.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8678680 -

And some people feel sorry for gays?  Females are the most evil people on the planet, I seriously believe that.  Thank god for transexuals in Thailand.  Your problems aren't going to get better either, my suggestion to you is to run away from them.  That or start an opiate habit, you will be numb from the start.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8678787 -

Anonymous said:
So when is life supposed to become interesting?





Never. Life isn't supposed to become anything. It just is. You make your own entertainment on this planet. The funtruck isn't going to stop by your house unannounced and drop off a pound of interesting.

Screw the kids, screw your wife stop fucking talking and listen to others for a change. Everybody has something to teach you. Even the morons around you know things you don't so start listening and you may learn something.
Start helping others with their problems and stop boring them with yours. Whining about your fate can become a habit and you bore everyone with that. Others have the luxury of escaping but you have to listen to yourself drone on and on all day long. No wonder you're depressed. Give yourself a break and shut the fuck up for a change.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #8678827 -

Anonymous said:
Anonymous said:
Do you believe in God or have other spirituality? Maybe you just need a new job to meet new people and experience old experiences to "reset" your life.



Agreed. Christ's guiding light can and will shine through the monotony of life if you accept it into your heart.

Have you been baptized?



Please do not listen to him, what you need is inside yourself, life is all just one big soul experience, to prepare us for what comes next.
I know how it can feel being so used to having people around that you care so dearly for, and the next day theyre out of your life.
Well theyre not really gone, think of it as a cooling off period. This has all happened for a reason, it might not be fair that you arent around your children at the moment, though take this time to show to them that your better than what your ex wife makes you out to be.
Make youself "a new man" discover a new means of thinking, explore new life possibilities, realise that life isnt meant to be made out as what this technocratic world society makes it out to be.
Just because this world is filled with sheep, like you said the whole 9-5, 2.5 kids, 2 cars, nice house with a big garage yada yada yada....
It is all infact bullshit, the typical predictable life, made possible by sheep who are to insecure to step forth and create a new living and thinking stlye for themselves.
Well you can step in and say im not like that, i wont let this get the better of me because im "supposed" to feel this way when something on the lines of this happens to me.
We are born into this physical life as an individual, and we die as an individual. What happens inbetween is entirely up to you.
Keep you mind open, meet new people, read some interesting books on physics and spirituality, go hiking and get in touch with nature. The possibilities for creating a better future for yourself are endless.
Positive thinking is the key, enough of it and you will become so radiant with positive energy that your body will be able to send out these vibes.

Look at this:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8654877#8654877
I personally have tried an excersize similar to this one, and have had quite good long term mental and physical results with the help of this.
I would suggest you try it out.  :thumbup:

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8678828 -

OP Here.

I help everybody more than you think... On this site and in life... I seem to be the "go to" guy for lots of stuff, i have entertainment on occasion, and I just dont get any joy from it.

Numb.

Wanted some of this shit off my chest, its off now and so am I.
P.s. I have learned something from this post... Everybody NEEDS drugs/alcohol to enjoy life.
I dont enjoy Drugs and Alcohol, Therefor I dont enjoy Life.

Thanks.
M

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8678864 -

By no means do you need drugs to make your life enjoyable, you can be a person with no possessions and have a much more enjoyable life than someone with all the material possessions.
When you pass away, where are your possessions then? not with you, so whats the point of aquiring so many of them just to forfill your life like a baby with rattle.
Necessities are one thing, though majority of material novelty possessions are just dumbing.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8679001 -

Anonymous said:
I help everybody more than you think... On this site and in life... I seem to be the "go to" guy for lots of stuff...



Stop defending yourself with words. It's the words and the defensiveness that get you into trouble. Being the go to guy just means being the world's bitch. Today go out and offer to help a total stranger, so you're not helping because you're afraid to say no but because you want to. Oh and say "no" to somebody you're always helping. Then carefully observe the results.

Less talking, more listening. It'll take a couple of weeks to have an effect.

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #8679013 -

OP... You dont know me very well do you... well you couldnt... anyway im an ex mechanic and stop for every broken down car in the world that i come across out on the street or highway and offer my assistance... sometimes older ladies or real attractive girls lock themselves in their cars due to my appearance, but that never stops me from say jacking up a car and changing a tire or pouring a gallon or two of liquid gold into someonelses car.... i have actually lost jobs because of it being late and shit all the time. Helped another shroomerite i had never met one day too, went to meet up for a trade, his car was dead i took dude to get parts, my house for tools back to his car, helped him do the work, made the trade and STILL didnt feel "SUPER GREAT" about myself like you seem to think it automatically does...

Now im not blowing this out my ass either... I really do and have done this shit every day...

M

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Re: Ever wonder what its all for? [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #8679065 -

Op here again...

Anonymous said:
Anonymous said:
Anonymous said:
Do you believe in God or have other spirituality? Maybe you just need a new job to meet new people and experience old experiences to "reset" your life.



Agreed. Christ's guiding light can and will shine through the monotony of life if you accept it into your heart.

Have you been baptized?



Please do not listen to him, what you need is inside yourself, life is all just one big soul experience, to prepare us for what comes next.
I know how it can feel being so used to having people around that you care so dearly for, and the next day theyre out of your life.
Well theyre not really gone, think of it as a cooling off period. This has all happened for a reason, it might not be fair that you arent around your children at the moment, though take this time to show to them that your better than what your ex wife makes you out to be.
Make youself "a new man" discover a new means of thinking, explore new life possibilities, realise that life isnt meant to be made out as what this technocratic world society makes it out to be.
Just because this world is filled with sheep, like you said the whole 9-5, 2.5 kids, 2 cars, nice house with a big garage yada yada yada....
It is all infact bullshit, the typical predictable life, made possible by sheep who are to insecure to step forth and create a new living and thinking stlye for themselves.
Well you can step in and say im not like that, i wont let this get the better of me because im "supposed" to feel this way when something on the lines of this happens to me.
We are born into this physical life as an individual, and we die as an individual. What happens inbetween is entirely up to you.
Keep you mind open, meet new people, read some interesting books on physics and spirituality, go hiking and get in touch with nature. The possibilities for creating a better future for yourself are endless.
Positive thinking is the key, enough of it and you will become so radiant with positive energy that your body will be able to send out these vibes.

Look at this:
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8654877#8654877
I personally have tried an excersize similar to this one, and have had quite good long term mental and physical results with the help of this.
I would suggest you try it out.  :thumbup:



Missed this post somehow. Good stuff. thanks i will try but 3-5 will be hard to come up with in my life... especially everyday without just repeating the same things.

I will try tho

M

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