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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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Aggression
    #3321518 -

I spend my time now and again very angry at things for no apparent reason. I found myself becoming very aggressive towards my mother. I try and relax now and again and find that I can't. I'm all bundled up and it's hard to stretch out.

Aggression can be a very big problem for people. I'm wondering how each of you deal with your angers when they come your way. Does it become a big problem for any of you? Are there things in my past that are bothering me still that I can not let go of?

I think that aggression, anger and other things that control my temper get way out of line sometimes and it's hard for me to realize it. I'm sort of in control now but when it does happen it brings my world to a place where i wish i did not exist. Only to find myself deeper in thought then I have ever been.

Now that I am a bit more stable it brings about thoughts that maybe there is a world that exists without these thoughts. I finally start to realize and gain hope that these emotions always pass. If we could find it in ourselves to realize that these are only a temporary states of existence it would help arise those good happy peace loving thoughts. It doesn't even have to be those kind of thoughts just the norm of my thinking should one day return and has.

~

So all in all, try to stay positive the best you can and set those thoughts aside. If you find yourself in a bundle reach out to someone who you have known for quit a while and tell them how you feel and what is going on. A friend can always help bring out the positive in you, always.

Peace,
Droz


--------------------
Evolution of Time.

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Re: Aggression [Re: Droz]
    #3321667 -

Thats a good point and i would like to add on to that myself.

Thats what ive learned in my moments of raged filled "mixed emotional turmoil". Sometimes you just gotta be angry, and sad... Otherwise we will have no way of passing on our emotions out of our thought stream... SOmetimes it can be directed in the wrong direction, and to the wrong people or places, but i think if you can learn to channel it, it will be much easier for you to cope with it when it comes roaring up inside of you.

Going to see the therapist helped me bring out a lot of those negative emotions and made me really conciously realize how they were effecting my life. Like you said, understanding what they do and its temporary nature can help alieviate the stress and bring you to your "place".

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Re: Aggression [Re: Zero7a1]
    #3321764 -

I have found usually when I am angry it is because I expected something that didnt happen to happen (or something that did happen not to happen.)

These always boil down to me expecting something else, or me agreeing to do something I think is not my fight. (Thier are many ways to agree with something, amongst those a lack of objections).

It makes me think I gotta: take responsability for my actions, to say what I mean, and to realize that what I percieve may not always be the truth (other people got trouble communicationg too).

This general concept is where I try to steer my thoughts when angry or disappointed, hope it helps (I tend to think a little abstractly, as Im sure most readers here do). If not, just realize life is way too short to be in bad moods, when you could instead be happy and pridefull in your actions. (insert smiley).

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Re: Aggression [Re: RedEyeSamurai]
    #3321813 -

Well the problem for me, with the way you described the situation is an almost extreme patience or at least an extreme ability to think how you want to act. When you get pissed off, or snap, (if you ever do), you dont think about someone else may be mis communicating, or how about you misinterpret what is being said.

It is very reactioanry... but what can i do, ive lived and been tranformed into who i am... i will find the best way i know how to deal with my life, otherwise i may be completely lost and who knows what else. I tend to think there is a balance, and where things seem chaotic at times, after a while these thoughts circle back around and i remember how and why i was wrong, and i develop a new perspective and grow from my mistakes. The process can be tedious, as sometimes i seem to be in some kind of weird spiral, but ive come to be able to "ride the waves" so to speak.

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Re: Aggression [Re: RedEyeSamurai]
    #3321821 -

I dealt with some serious aggression issues a few years back. I found that it was myself that I was mad at...I just took it out on others. I finally decided to forgive myself and let all that anger go...I am still somewhat belligerant, but it is very manageable.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Aggression [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #3321891 -

zero, I think you are replying to me, so I will address it.
I account for anothers inabilaty to communicate (or my inability to understand) as part of the way I talk to that person.

It is not patience because it I am trying to accept that something is currently a certain way and at this very moment I can not change it. Thier is no point for me to loose control of all of my emotions (this will do me no good) but rather to try and figure out how I can remedy the situation causing me 'negative' emotions. Instaed I realize this for part of the infinite and beautifull univers (and if I dont want it to happen again, I can always cahnge my future actions to try to tailor my reallity to be prepared for it.)

Hope it helps.and paste science, just a human attempting to drop out many negative fealings. After a drunken binge a few weeks ago, (i live in a frat), I realized my emotions were related to how I treated others. For a few weeks now I have been attemptimg to treat others with nothing but love (translation: treating them with all the respect another living being commands).

Hope that makes some sort of sense.

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Re: Aggression [Re: RedEyeSamurai]
    #3321923 -

Yeah, i know your new here, and ill make this easy for you, so other people dont get all huffy :laugh: ... there is a reply button on each persons post if you want to reply to them. When you post, someone who replies to you, it will show it in their response to that message.

See how it says i replied to your post on the top of this?

Anyways, to the discussion. In many ways these feelings of anger are caused by the way we treat others or how they come back to us in negative ways, but as heucotyl said, it can be the way we treat ourselves.

ive come to find out that in my life, emotions arise because they are not concious thoughts, sometimes you just cant control them, this is how our biological body is wired to react. Sometimes you can control how this process takes control of you, or at least your body can learn to adjust to the situations. Im speaking from personal experience of course. All in all what i really want to say, is that even if you have your whole ideology about how great the universe and love and everything is, there are still negative aspects of your life that have to be dealt with... Our body chooses its way to deal with it, and sometimes no matter how much you may on some internal "philosophical level", controlling how you react can be a very hard thing for severely emotional issues.

Some people can blow up about the stupidest shit, well it seems that way to us anyway, huh?

It may not be ideal to blow up in a situation you know is pretty stupid, but im not gonna go through my whole life beating myself down because i got pissed off at someone for a stupid argument... that just creates more complexes and things i dont want to deal with. It doesnt benefit me, and its not healthy.

I cant worry myself with trying to control everything... ive tried it, it didnt work... Thats just me, if it works for you, then thats good, but i dont think everyone should expect themselves to adhere to some strict insane rules which we cant humanly be expected to follow.

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Re: Aggression [Re: Zero7a1]
    #3322036 -

To me it seems that a lot of peopel are either afraid to be agressive, or they cannot be agressive when they need to be, not that i am not one to be shy or steer away from certain situations... but it reminds me a lot of the the years I played soccer.

My success and good abilties improved because my ability to be agressive, my position was marked by being agressive, the center mid. You have to be agressive or you will be beaten, and you will create a weakness in your team, and you cant have that... BUt i think i learned a lot from it though, that there are some things in life which demand agression, if not in the physical form, at least in the mental. There are peolple in this world who are gonna be agressive to you regardless of what you want, i think its important to know how to control yourself and push yourself where you need to go for your sake and sometimes others.

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Re: Aggression [Re: Zero7a1]
    #3323953 -

I used to be both very passive at times and very aggressive at times. It was reflective of my spiritual state that I exhibited a "dual" nature. My mom and sister even used to call me "the incredible hulk" behind my back. I kept things bottled up inside me, (failed expectations, frustrations, resentment,etc.) and when the slightest thing occured, it would all come out. It coule be something as trivial as the wrong type of apples and I would explode. It was usually directed at those who I was actually closest to and loved (mother, ex-girlfriend). I inhibited myself (subconsciously) when I was around friends and associates, only showing my "good" side to the people who actually were quite distant/unimportant to me. The stress level, tension, and anxiety that these swings produced is what lead me to explore my spiritual nature. I did not believe in ANYTHING before I decided to give "energy" work a try. It was chi-gung, the chinese system of energy manipulation that instigated the process. I realized that my energy "flow" was blocked up, restricted in some places and overflowing in others. It left me unbalanced and in desparate need for healing. A year and a half of energy work has resulted in me experimenting with yoga, meditation, and I am even thinking about becoming a Reiki master because of all the techniques that I was forced to intuitively develop during my own self-healing. I learned that all things have their place, and most "negatives" are really a call to overcome limitation. If something bad happens nowadays, I no longer hold on to it, allowing myself to live it over and over. I am able to live in the moment for the first time and feel much more in control of my life. I haven't actually been angry (like I used to be daily) more than 2 or 3 times in this past year and a half. I don't explode on my parents and they are much more willing to help me now, our relationship has undergone a miraculous change. Other family members, friends, etc. have all noticed a marked difference in me, but I know that this isn't so. I am not different, rather I am who I was before life conditioned me. My troubles and tribulations filled my plate with numerous challenges to overcome, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I am able to see now that if there is a will there is a way. There is nothing that we "cannot" do, only things that we "wil not" do. Its not about control, its not about repressing anything, because that simply makes it worse. It is about becoming aware of the root cause of your "negative" feelings. Paying attention to yourself and others and honoring both. I think this is what Jesus meant when he said "love thy neighbor as thyself". Our "real" self is not judgmental, angry, etc. it (at least to me) is pure in intention, and able to truly love (i.e. without expectation of something in return). In the modern era it is easy to forget things like unity and brotherhood(in a global sense), but it does not mean those things do not exist. As we face growing dissatisfaction for the way we are living, people will begin to turn inward in order to find solutions to the problems they face. Energy work has shown me experientially that we are connected in a subtle way (if we weren't, it would not work, but it does!), and if that is the case, we always have something to both teach and learn from others. It also means that what we think and feel has profound implications for what we experience. When I let go of patterns (self-defeating, self-depricating, judgemental thoughts/feelins) my actual experience changed. People no longer irritate me like they used to because I can see that we are all on individual paths to the same goal. We may be in an experience of separation so that we can come into a greater understanding of unity. I want to end saying that, YES, there is hope. I do not deign to know what you need, only you are privy to that information, however, I can tell you that you do have the capacity to change, heal, and become the person you deeply desire to be. I am a living example and I feel that my life's purpose is to share my experiences with others. If you want to talk about this more, feel free to message me, etc.


--------------------
"There is no greater power in heaven and earth than the thought of the son of man. Though unseen by the eyes of the body,yet each thought has mighty strength, even such strength can shake the heavens." -Gospel of the Essenes

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Re: Aggression [Re: Zero7a1]
    #3324158 -

thanks for the hand man.

I really am not trying to go all philosophical, I think, dropping anger comes more in knowing yourself.  (for  ME)

I am just another part of the world, thier is no point in me gettin all huffed up.  This might be even the same thing as you were talking about, through channeling emmotions(anger) it seems you utilize the forces pushing you to be angry.

:mushroom2:  Interesting.

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