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InvisibleTheHateCamel
Research &Development -DBK
Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 15,738
How do you know if you're being honest with yourself?
    #3328714 - 11/06/04 10:27 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

As far as I can tell I'm completely honest with myself.

I don't lie to myself on purpose and I consider as many different views as possible when confronted with a question.

Do you have a system of checks and balances?

Aside from myself, I have an intelligent girlfriend that will give me a pretty straight answer if I need one.

How do you know if you're being honest with yourself?


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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 19,697
Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3328950 - 11/07/04 12:01 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

see if you can get behind him and check if his fingers are crossed.

(not sure how this problem is coming up, but you prolly just need to relax and get comfortable with what's happenning.)


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Offlinekbilly
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Registered: 09/02/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: redgreenvines]
    #3329039 - 11/07/04 12:34 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

first know yourself.


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OfflineBleaK
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: kbilly]
    #3329383 - 11/07/04 02:35 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

you must also know what honesty is.


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"You cannot trust in law, unless you can trust in people. If you can trust in people, you don't need law." -J. Mumma


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OfflineGomp
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: BleaK]
    #3329803 - 11/07/04 10:06 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

""How do you know if you're being honest with yourself?""
intent?


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Disclaimer!?


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InvisibletrendalM
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Registered: 04/17/01
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel] * 1
    #3329839 - 11/07/04 10:25 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I try to start out with the assumption that what I think is FALSE. Then I have to work to gain my own trust, throubh observation/experiment :wink:

Its not so hard to be honest to yourself, as long as you trust yourself.


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You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineNuperSova
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Registered: 11/04/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3329859 - 11/07/04 10:38 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I think by default we're honest with ourselves, even when we lie, or else there'd be no need to lie. I think it's more so a matter of how much the lies we tell/think effect/bother us.

Chryssi


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I Refuse To Say I'm Lost Just Because I Don't Know Where I Am


Edited by NuperSova (11/07/04 10:40 AM)


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OfflineGomp
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: NuperSova]
    #3329860 - 11/07/04 10:41 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

interesting, how could you lie to yourself? any one got an example?


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InvisibletrendalM
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: Gomp] * 1
    #3329894 - 11/07/04 10:57 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

I wouldn?t call it a ?lie? so much as a ?refusal to accept? what you know to be true. Some people can deny what they know to be true, in favor of what they WISH to be true.


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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OfflineNuperSova
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Registered: 11/04/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: Gomp]
    #3329899 - 11/07/04 10:59 AM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Yea, see that's the thing, I don't think we are able to succesfully lie to ourselves, because we know it's a damn lie!(Unless your somehow mentally ill) But we are able to lie to others, without focusing on the fact that what we are saying is a lie. Sometimes it comes so natural, a defense mechanism, or what not. It's more so, how much the lies we tell effect us. For some, not at all. For others, a lot.

I think if someone belives that we are able to lie to ourselves, then their point would have to be that, yes, we can tell ourselves lie, but we don't have to believe them. And I guess I would have to agree that a lie doesn't necessarily have to be believed, to be a lie.

So basically, we can lie to ourselves, but we can't believe them.
We can lie to other people, and they can believe them or not.

Chryssi


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I Refuse To Say I'm Lost Just Because I Don't Know Where I Am


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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3330189 - 11/07/04 05:30 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

How do you know if you're being honest with yourself?

By listening to Swami's sage feedback. When you start to get angry, that is a sure-fire indicator of self-dishonesty.


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The proof is in the pudding.


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Invisiblegettinjiggywithit
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: Swami]
    #3330513 - 11/07/04 07:03 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)


If you were honest on your resume and interviewing for a job you really wanted and cared about and knew you would be great at and found out, it would've been yours, only the guy who got hired instead of you lied profusely on his resume and was far less qualified then you.

If you got angry about it, how does that mean you lied to yourself or anyone else?

Sometimes we react in anger due to anothers dishonesty that puts us in a "less then" light only by the default of the others dishonesty and not the truth.

Distoring the light of anothers or that of your own to put some else in a bad light is easy. It's fair to expect someone to feel angry at somebody who does that.

What if you tell someone who asks for directions to Joes, "make a right on elm, go 2 blocks, then make a left at oak and its the second door on your right.

Then that someone says, your directions are wrong, because they didn't take note of your saying to make a left at oak and added a stop at the ice cream shop that got them their 15 minutes later then you said it would take them.

Were you dishonest giving directions? No

Did you mean to mislead them? No

Did you actually mislead them? No

Will you feel pissed they accussed you of giving them wrong directions? Probably.

Will you get defensive? Probably

If they run around telling everyone, "don't ever get directions from that guy, he can't find his way to his own ass", will you wonder what the hell that guys problem is? Probably

Will you confront him with it? Possibly

Maybe you would laugh it all off. It's understandable when others don't.

Just something for everyone to consider. How you choose to handle such situations is of course, up to you.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.


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InvisibleTheHateCamel
Research &Development -DBK
Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 15,738
Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: redgreenvines] * 1
    #3330699 - 11/07/04 07:48 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Jokes aside, I wanted to know how  you  brains can tell if you're honest with yourselves.

You can easily lie to yourself, people convince themselves of things that aren't true ALL the time.

Heaps of people here convince themselves that they are more intelligent than most other people and that really helps them get through the day, even though it may not be true. (Otd etc.)

I know if I'm being honest with myself because I wonder if I'm being honest with myself.

Self realizations are few and far between as we get older, even with our mushrooms and fancy thought processes.




Quote:

trendal said:
I try to start out with the assumption that what I think is FALSE. Then I have to work to gain my own trust, throubh observation/experiment :wink:

Its not so hard to be honest to yourself, as long as you trust yourself.




You're right, it's not hard to be honest with yourself, as long as that's something you want.

I have a hunch (honestly) that most people aren't honest with themselves at all.


p.s. I don't see any difference in telling yourself something isn't true and refusing to accept it.

p.p.s you can't possibly entertain every poster in your thread in this particular forum.


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OfflineTripster
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Registered: 10/10/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel] * 1
    #3330810 - 11/07/04 08:28 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

People lie to themselves all the time. In fact, I think we lie to ourselves more than most believe. By lie though I don't mean the conscious convincing of a non-truth. I mean when we convince ourselves that something is true when a clear mind would see it is not. We decieve ourselves and mislead ourselves to make us see ourselves in a way that fits our pre-determined and pre-desired perception, usually based off of our empathetically obtained impression of how others view us.


--------------------
You've raped! I feel dirty
It hurt! As a child
Tied down! That's a good boy
And fucked! Your own child
I scream! No one hears me
It hurt! I'm not a liar
My God! Saw you watching
Mommy why?! Your own child -Korn


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OfflineNuperSova
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Registered: 11/04/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3330844 - 11/07/04 08:38 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

TheHateCamel said:
Jokes aside, I wanted to know how you brains can tell if you're honest with yourselves.

You can easily lie to yourself, people convince themselves of things that aren't true ALL the time.

Heaps of people here convince themselves that they are more intelligent than most other people and that really helps them get through the day, even though it may not be true. (Otd etc.)




There's a difference I think though between having an opinion like e.g. "I'm smarter than George Bush", than telling yourself that you're smarter than George Bush to help you get through the day.

So I stand by the notion that I think we are all honest with ourselves because we don't have a choice to be. Even when we're lying to ourselves to make ourselves feel better, or protect our egos, because basically we've told ourselves what we needed/wanted to hear, otherwise, there would be no reason to have that particular thought. So because we've told ourselves what we wanted to hear, we basically know that it is a lie, no matter how much we detach ourselves from the original thought/emotion/reason we felt we needed to lie to ourselves in the first place. Not acknowledging the reason why we've 'lied' to ourselves, doesn't equal lying to yourself successfully.


--------------------
I Refuse To Say I'm Lost Just Because I Don't Know Where I Am


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InvisibleTheHateCamel
Research &Development -DBK
Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 15,738
Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: NuperSova]
    #3330856 - 11/07/04 08:43 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Are you being honest with yourself if you think something might not be true and without giving it any further thought or reflection you accept it as true anyway?


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OfflineNuperSova
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Registered: 11/04/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: TheHateCamel]
    #3330873 - 11/07/04 08:50 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

TheHateCamel said:
Are you being honest with yourself if you think something might not be true and without giving it any further thought or reflection you accept it as true anyway?




I don't think there is a way to accept something as true--something that one thought ago you didn't believe was true, and then without giving it any further thought or reflection accept it as true. That's a paradox, because you can't accept it as true, unless you've thought about it again.

Chryssi


--------------------
I Refuse To Say I'm Lost Just Because I Don't Know Where I Am


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Offlinethe_phoenix
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Registered: 07/07/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: NuperSova]
    #3330994 - 11/07/04 09:28 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

You know you are honest if your life is free of suffering. Otherwise, the causes of your suffering reveal your dishonesty, if you are brave enough to look.


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Offlinekbilly
earthwalker

Registered: 09/02/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: the_phoenix]
    #3331189 - 11/07/04 10:18 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

"There's a difference I think though between having an opinion like e.g. "I'm smarter than George Bush"

thats not an opinion its a fact, if youre smarter than a bread.

"than telling yourself that you're smarter than George Bush to help you get through the day"

not sure thats a pep up all by itself.

self deception, is very prevalent, we tell ourselves all kinds of lies about ourselvesand the world we live in, the truth hurts and makes for a very uncomfortable, almost inreconcilable reality.

say the fact that millions are starving or dying, yet you tell yourself your caring and compasionate, but never do anything, while you livr a guiltless life of luxury - this is an example im not saying its right or wrong to be this way.


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OfflineWhiteRussian
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Registered: 06/23/04
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Re: How do you know if you're being honest with yourself? [Re: kbilly]
    #3333192 - 11/08/04 02:15 PM (12 years, 1 month ago)

How do I know if Im been honest with myself? hhmm.....

The feeling is there, but what about when its not?? is that being honest with yourself? I would say, no...honesty is acceptance, it reflects how you feel about yourself. Sure if one cannot accept themselves for who they are, how can they accept anyone else? and be honest with them?....thats were confusion comes in, people see others the way they want to, the way they THINK they really are.....but thats only half truth, its true only from your point of view....So what is honesty then, really?....its just a feeling, i dont know...

lol, hope this helps...if it makes much sense that is :smile:


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aaaaaahhhhh


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