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InvisibleSinbad
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Expectations in Life & Meditation
    #3826122 - 02/24/05 05:22 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Within attitude is expectation. We are very seldom aware of out expectations. They are part of the background to the way we are. For example, if we go to a movie which has a good write-up, we go with a certain sense of excitement. We are going to see a good movie. As we walk into the cinema, we don't say to ourselves, 'I have an expectation that this is going to be a good movie and I'm going to enjoy it.' The mind doesn't do that, but it carries the message unconsciously. The result is that if the movie isn't very good, we will be disappointed, If its only half reasonable, we say, 'That wasn't really so great.' What has happened is that the mind has gone in with a very high expectation. It set a high standard and if that high standard isn't met, there is disappointment. It may still be a good movie, but it hasn't met that high standard. SO experience is determined by expectation.

Conversely, if somebody said 'That's the most useless movie ever made,' and we cant get in to any other movie in the house so we go in thinking, 'This is going to be a load of junk.' So we are pleasantly surprised and enjoy it. Once again, our level of enjoyment is determined by our level of expectation.

The third scenario is where we have no expectation at all. In this case, our minds are open. We receive the experience with a freshness, alertness and quality of intelligence that is not there if there is expectation. Whatever happens has a vividness and interest of its own because we are not judging it against any criteria. We are looking at it as it is and allowing it to be itself.

With meditation this is crucial. We may go to meditation with an expectation that it is going to solve all of life's problems, that if we sit for ten minutes, all our emotional issues are going to dissolve, or if we sit for twenty minutes we are going to become totally blissed out. Some people walk into the meditation room with this sort of expectation that they sit down and put a fatuous smile on their faces because somewhere their mind is saying 'If i pretend that I'm being blissed out because it seems as though everyone else is and if i pretend that i am that way too, then maybe i can get in on the act.' this is a very painful thing to do to oneself because its not true, Pretending isn't going to make any difference to the normal flow of ones mind states. They are going to continue as they ever did. So if we go to meditation with this sort of expectation, we are going to run into a brick wall and its going to be painful.

Then we probably think 'If i meditate for half a day, Ill become enlightened.' Some people believe that! or maybe they think a weekend will get them enlightened. Once again, it doesn't happen, so there is great disappointment. The curious thing is we dint realize the connect between the expectation and the consequence. therefore when the effect that we have expected hasn't arisen, all sort of reactions come into place. Either we dismiss the meditation as something that doesn't work, or we decide "It doesn't work for me. There is something especially wrong with me that make meditation impossible for me." Very often, people get the impression when they are meditating that everyone else around them is doing fine. They look out of the corner of their eyes and think, "These other guys are really cool. They've got it together. They are doing whats expected and I'm the only one who's getting it wrong. Whats wrong with me?" That of course destroys confidence. Very soon one give up.

So we can see expectation is one of the most fundamental obstacles to meditation. When we start meditating we come across the term 'obstacles' over and over again. Its as though we have gone for a drive. We thought we were going to drive along a beautiful motorway. After about half a kilometer, ther is a landslide, we cant go further: we always stop there. And it is exactly the same with expectation. Until we understand the existence, the nature and the effect of it, we will always stop there. We will run up against it but we wont know what has stopped us. We'll just know we've hit something.

We start to become aware of our expectations and we train ourselves to pick up on them. This is not easy because they are buried at a semi-conscious level, part unconscious, part subliminal. It is a belief system we bring into the room with us. So we really need to reflect on what our expectations are.


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Edited by Sinbad (02/24/05 11:15 AM)


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: Expectation in Life & Meditation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3826640 - 02/24/05 11:13 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I sometimes forget that all yall are in a different time zone, but still how come no replies, and very little views.  :confused:

My idiot test post got more views in five minutes, go figure  :shrug:


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InvisibleCJay
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Re: Expectation in Life & Meditation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3826667 - 02/24/05 11:27 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

We're all idiots?


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InvisibleCJay
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Re: Expectation in Life & Meditation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3826681 - 02/24/05 11:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

sometimes forget that all yall are in a different time zone, but still how come no replies, and very little views.

My idiot test post got more views in five minutes, go figure




...uuum...what were you saying about expectations? :tongue2:


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Offlineslaphappy
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Re: Expectation in Life & Meditation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3826697 - 02/24/05 11:37 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

People aren't fond of long connected trains of thought that didn't appear to pop up in their head first. People tend to believe that when they think of something, *they really* think of something. Rather than the idea of traveling thoughts (memes) inhabiting your body and forcing it to act upon the will of the thought, like "critters" if you've seen those movies.

Other than that, the assumption I'm making is that you are in essense very correct in what you say, hence people won't bother to respond.

Because the only reason we really have to connect these words into sentences, is telling other people that they need to connect their words correctly in accordance to *our* beliefs and not their own.

People don't really care. People don't really give a shit. People just want to sound interesting, thats why you wrote that thread - and thats why nobody responds. Because responding in agreeance doesn't make you seem interesting, it makes you seem like some un-original cattle that just follows other peoples opinions instead of making your own.

Not because its true, but because thats what people expect, because they have been brought up in a "good home".

Parents tell their kids they are special, they will become something big.

Parents tell kids that you shouldn't think that you are better than anyone, because mom and dad are the only ones being better than everyone. Everything is excused.

Kids learn from examples, no matter what you say: The only thing going on in your mind, is reflections of what you experience.

You can tell, I havent answered or said anything about your real topic. I'm just explaining why people don't say anything.

This is what I expect, and this is what I see.  :smile:


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The argent messenger of truth beyond truth, the antithesis of life, cruel and bleak as interstellar space, pulseless and frozen as absolute zero, dazzling with the frost of irrefragable logic and unforgettable fact.


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Offlineexclusive58
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Re: Expectations in Life & Meditation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3826760 - 02/24/05 11:59 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

how about having moderate expectations, is that ok? Like you could expect that a movie will be good, while still leaving room for the possibility that it might be bad. I think this is the better way to approach the problem. I don't think anyone's really 100% sure of their expectations.

Concerning my personal expectations out of meditation, at first i started meditating because i expected it would stabilize me emotionally, that i would feel more comfortable with myself and have more confidence.
Well, i think my expectations have achieved success. Today, i don't expect anything out of meditation anymore, i meditate for the pleasure of it.


"We really need to reflect on what our expectations are."

:thumbup:


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: Expectations in Life & Meditation [Re: exclusive58]
    #3826828 - 02/24/05 12:14 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You only achieved sucess in meditation becuase you lost your expectations. Not the other way around.  :grin:

Just becomming aware of our expectations is a good beginning, then we will realize their futility.

When we are aware of our expectations, we can begin to just meditate for the pleasure of it. That is a very zen way fo going about it.

Always be a beginner. Try to become aware of and lose our expectations in our meditation.


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Offlineexclusive58
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Re: Expectations in Life & Meditation [Re: Sinbad]
    #3826880 - 02/24/05 12:27 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

So what do you think is the wisest, should we go our way in life without expecting anything, or should we continuously be expecting the worse so that we never be deceived?


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: Expectations in Life & Meditation [Re: exclusive58]
    #3826973 - 02/24/05 12:50 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

If we have no expectations, we have more possibility to see life nakedly and vividly, as it is.

Im not sure its possible for the mind to be habituated to always expect the worst, totally regardless of the situation. Our expectations are constantly changing along with everything else. And always expecting the worst, seems like quite a negative mind state.

Awareness is always the best policy. If we can become aware of our expecations then we can begin to let go of them and experience life as it is, rather than clouded by our projections of past, present and future events.


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Edited by Sinbad (02/24/05 12:58 PM)


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Expectations in Life & Meditation [Re: exclusive58]
    #3826979 - 02/24/05 12:51 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I would avoid trying to separate expectation from the rest of an attitude set but I would definitely look to see what is associated with it.
i.e.
while playing a particular role you may chose the most suitable of 7 related masks that you may have learned as a child from a parent.
you perform the mask with facial expression voice and possibly some routine and await one of 6 different kinds of reactions to your mask.
whatever happens is filtered through the attitude mask on the "expectation side"
following the closest assumption one of the other 7 (#1) masks in the group is chosen and performed and the next filter will hang waiting for one or another anticipated response.
etc. etc.
this is the nature of personality (#2).
to deal with assumptions it pays to look at the whole of attitude with the mask, and the context; and to sense the historical origin as well.

in this way you can temper and manage your own personality, trying to hammer expectation and assumption separate from the attitude constructs, their masks, and circumstances of use is an excercise in frustration.

(#1 the numbers chosen are totally arbitrary, but clusters of attitude sets relate to kinds of circumstance and usually define a group of behaviour reactions and comportments. 5 masks 7 masks 55 masks, how complex is the routine we learned, how many times did a particular psychodrama play out in our past? etc.)

(#2 personality is very monkey see monkey do <please be nice to the monkey> much more excellent than a video recorder, and more interactive than a nintendo)


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InvisibleSinbad
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Re: Expectation in Life & Meditation [Re: slaphappy]
    #3827772 - 02/24/05 04:11 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Your general statement about the intentions of all people who post in this forum is incorrect. You may not give a fuck, but that is just your view. Do not tar all the people who post here with the same brush that you paint yourself with.

Do not presume to know why i or anyone else on this forum post here. Everyone has their own reasons and intentions for posting, most of which may not mirror your own.


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