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kadakuda
The Great"Green".......East
Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 7,048
Loc: Asia
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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sometimes life just clicks.
#3235225 - 10/09/04 12:23 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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really bad history of depression in the family, but almost no drug use (me my sis, the rest were just alcoholics back the the 1800's). anywas i used to have really bad depression, i would just lay somewhere and not move for days on end.
anyway recently i just got in a car accident and lost my job because of it, it was fine at first but now a couple days later my brian just clicked. i havnt had it in the last three or so years (it came in periods with my dad as well). i go tthe thinking that it is was probably my recent "abuse" of lsa recently. i have done it way too much and now coupled with some huge fucking stress and anxiety from the crash im back in the shits again. but jsut now not 5 minutes ago i realised that the period i have been experimenting with drugs is almost exactly the period i have not been having any anxiety at all. itis also right when i got stress plus tripping that it comes back.
maybe its nothing but its keeping hopefull at least. anyone else notice anythign similar with yourself? ironically i just started growing many "anti-stress/depressant" plants not a week ago.
anyway i find reading these boards quite relaxing and uplifting, for some reason the forums i always frequented here make me really anxious. kind of a piss off, but this one really seems relaxing. im in no way religous either. anyway peace all, im gonna atart reading your posts here more often
-------------------- The seeds you won't sow are the plants you dont grow.
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Jalruza
Boot Lover
Registered: 10/09/04
Posts: 1,985
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: kadakuda]
#3235812 - 10/09/04 05:34 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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what are you on about? linking drugs with depression. well, until i tried weed i never even knew what its like to feel depressed, even back then that depression wasn't really ... depressing! It was a new feeling to be honest drugs do not make you depressed, some of us have empty holes isnide of us and we try to fill them up with sex, addictions and drugs and entertainment, when the influence wears out we are left with an ever bigger hole and no way of knowing how were gonna fill it up. I say the most important thing is to stay away from bad drugs such as coke, heroin opium and bad weed. Ive been smoking hash with opium a lot this year , stopped 3 month ago and only now im starting to recover from the sleepy disassociated state. Smoke home grown green --- you cant go wrong with that
Edited by Ewok (10/09/04 07:22 AM)
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deff
just love everyone
Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,425
Loc: clarity
Last seen: 25 minutes, 36 seconds
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: Jalruza]
#3235879 - 10/09/04 07:09 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Welcome to the loft kadakuda! I think you'll like it around here
Sorry to hear about your depression, we're here to help if need be
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Gomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,888
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 1 year, 27 days
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: deff]
#3235899 - 10/09/04 07:43 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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depression, is what started my life, it is what was my life, and then. I found nothing, and i have not been depressed since. depression is a weird thing, and i kinda think it is obligatory
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WhiteRussian
The Silence islouder then youthink
Registered: 06/23/04
Posts: 441
Loc: In your head :P
Last seen: 18 years, 7 months
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: Gomp]
#3235926 - 10/09/04 08:15 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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depression makes you who you are, the hard way.........like information overload....what got me out of it is learning how to focus.....next time you feel like your true confident self, try to keep that feeling going, (yes, at first it would be hard, and you will lose it fast), but dont let that bother you, every time you catch yourself in a good state of mind, keep it going.........then you will realize your doing it subcounsiously, and it would be hard to get depressed sometimes its funny, you might want to see what it was like being depressed again
-------------------- aaaaaahhhhh
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kadakuda
The Great"Green".......East
Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 7,048
Loc: Asia
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: Jalruza]
#3236344 - 10/09/04 12:36 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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hehe ewok, quite the opposite. it is when i started taking certain drugs that my depression disappeared. but it is also just now with large amounts of a certain drug coupled with stress that it is back. totally whiterussian. thats sorta along the lines that the doctor was talking about many years ago. anyway i was on about how it was, seemingly, drugs that got rid of it and partly drugs that helped give it back. i dont know whether its coincidence, whether i was tripping under massive stress or jsut the stress alone. but everything seems to have fallen in place and this is what it seems to me. just an observation really i guess. thanks deff, these boards sure are more uplifting than others can be. but i was just trying to put 2 and 2 together and share my thoughts. it makes perfect sense to me.
-------------------- The seeds you won't sow are the plants you dont grow.
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deff
just love everyone
Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,425
Loc: clarity
Last seen: 25 minutes, 36 seconds
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: kadakuda]
#3236368 - 10/09/04 12:47 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oh that's good to know
Mushrooms can help to cause or relieve depression in many people. Sometimes a very illuminating trip may be too much for a person, and while still clinging to their old worldview they become depressed. Although, it can also work in reverse, and show you how trivial depression really is and why there's no reason to succomb to it. Personally for me, mushrooms always leave me feeling better than before I took them
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kadakuda
The Great"Green".......East
Registered: 05/21/04
Posts: 7,048
Loc: Asia
Last seen: 6 years, 2 months
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: deff]
#3237180 - 10/09/04 06:00 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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they do me as well
for the record the drug i was refering to was LSA. i still liek it and still use it a fair bit. i just think it in combo with everything else made the head jerk a little.
-------------------- The seeds you won't sow are the plants you dont grow.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: kadakuda]
#3237330 - 10/09/04 07:18 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Overuse of hallucinogens can often cause free floating anxiety due to the tremendous stress and energy these things can conjure up. All of that energy builds up and has nowhere to go...so it comes back later in the form of rootless anxiety. Lay off for a time and then use them on special occasions only.
-------------------- "A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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browndustin
dustybuddy
Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: kadakuda]
#3237340 - 10/09/04 07:22 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, I was really depressed as a child and one day things just started clicking all of the sudden. It's like the cogs in my brain shifted, and everything just worked out for me. I started learning things much faster than ever before, and I also gave up being a christian. Heh. To think that I pledged my heart to god... I was about 10-12 when this change started happening... I'm almost glad that I was depressed all of my life, it's made me who I am and I suppose that I'm pretty proud.
And as with drugs and depression.. well, you need to experience things before you can learn. We learn from experience right? So all in all, depression or not, you can always get something out of these situations. Things happen for reasons, eh. Although doing too many drugs while you're depressed is something to be careful with, as if I even need to state that on these forums.
-------------------- When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,061
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Re: sometimes life just clicks. [Re: browndustin]
#3238562 - 10/10/04 05:50 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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maybe I was never depressed maybe I have always been depressed I find depression irrelevant. there is always too much to do. and between the frames, ecstacy
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