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InvisibleMOTH
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Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me?
    #2730885 - 05/26/04 03:31 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I need help with this. I feel like most of us are raised our entire lives with a fear or negative attitude towards death. I mean, people leave us, we're sad and lonely without them, it's therefore bad. We are terrified of the unknown, of not existing, or existing somewhere very dark and horrible...

How can someone overcome or lessen their fear of dying and death? I lay awake at night frozen with anxiety and panic at the thought. My first thought when I feel this way, is to do as I was taught to as a child, and to pray to "God." But my beliefs are not what they were, and instead I hesitate to pray at all, leaving behind only sickness in my stomach and a crippling fear of death.

I can see why people find comfort in that if they believe in Jesus, they will go to such a wonderful place as heaven, and I see why they find comfort in prayer. I can see why I used to find comfort in that. But I'm not sure just "who" or "what" I'm praying to anymore. I guess this issue goes beyond just a fear of death, and into blooming uncertainty.

So what can I do to stop thinking of death as such a negative thing and stop being so scared about it? I'm afraid it's escalating almost to the point of a phobia and I hate that, I just want to overcome it and not be so terrified at the prospect of death.

Can you help me? Please? What should I do? Any advice?

thanks

*me*


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OfflineMuppet
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: MOTH]
    #2731026 - 05/26/04 05:02 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

these might be a few good places to start out:

http://www.deathonline.net/
http://www.taphophilia.com/
http://www.beyondindigo.com/





the more at ease you are with death itself (and everything that goes with it) the easier it'll be for you to confront your own fears...which in turn, will make it easier for you to come to terms with (and even re-define) your own beliefs on the issue



..........

Thus Spake Muppet


--------------------


:craven:  Ravings of a Madman  :craven:


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: Muppet]
    #2731042 - 05/26/04 05:24 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Thank you Muppet  :heart:


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OfflineLux
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: MOTH]
    #2732135 - 05/26/04 02:35 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

We are all going to die, there's no fighting it. It is a very good thing to keep death in mind at all times but not in a fearful way. This uncertainty and awareness of death can give us great power. We really don't know when we're going to die, we could die in a few minutes by some bizarre accident or 50 years from now, no one knows. So because of this uncertainty shouldn't every act be acted out as if our last act on earth? It really could be one of these times. Instead of relying on our ego and thinking, I shouldn't do this because then so-and-so will think that, we should think, I could be dead tomorrow so why not act the way I truly want to act and do it as if it really were my last act on earth. If you were to somehow know for a fact that you were to die tomorrow you wouldn't let things such as ego/fear of death get in the way, every act would be imbued with the knowledge of your death and therefore be acted out to the best of your ability.

The problem is that we all act as if we're going to live forever.


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InvisibleJellric
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: MOTH]
    #2732154 - 05/26/04 02:40 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It's interesting how different people/cultures view death. Personally, I will welcome it when it comes. I see death as a friend who removes your burdens and allows you to walk through a door into a new life. But, yes I have conditioned myself to take that attitude.

One thing I would strongly suggest is give some thought to the following line of question/answers. Ask them to yourself in your head. "Who am I?" Start by answering the question with whatever pops into your head. Just to get you started, let's say you answer like most people. "My name." Well, no. You can't be Mr. or Ms. so and so- if no one knew your name you would still continue to exist. (Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?) If you answer "my body"- you are not that. Your body belongs to you, how can you be something you possess?

Who are you?

Keep on honestly answering the question until you realize who you really are.
Then ask yourself, "Can my self be destroyed by death?"


--------------------
I AM what Willis was talkin' bout.


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: MOTH]
    #2732509 - 05/26/04 03:44 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

who said we die daily?
maybe we actually die more often than that.
we already have the born again routine going strongly every time we react to a new situation with a new persona.
At that moment we did not worry about death of the previous self.
So while each new moment is handled by fresh personas, the ones that have let go are untroubled.

the secret is to let go - to hand off to the next.
like a relay. lots of practice every day.


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Invisiblekaiowas
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2732557 - 05/26/04 03:55 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

great post...that was very honest of you to post your thoughts and fears!  that's one of the first steps in overcoming them, admit that you have them.

ask yourself...why is dying a negative thing. That may sound retarded to you, but just keep looking. is it the uncertainty?  is it your ego playing tricks on you again...being concerned about something we know very little of? 

whenever you have a negative emotion like that, it's because of one main reason, you are trying to impose your will onto this external reality.  You like everyone else here don't want to die, buty ou have latched onto that feeling so much that you are stoppping your peace of mind.  you can be taken at any time, instead of wasting time fear death, enjoy life.  it's all you CAN do really.

our ego loves to be in control of external reality, but the only reality you can control is the internal one.  Jellric proposed a really great question to ask yourself...who are you?  keep going with that one as well. 

just keep looking at the situation and realize it is only you that makes yourself feel uncomfortable, not the external world.

sorry for the ramble :grin:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2732580 - 05/26/04 04:01 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I agree with Jell.  I have conditioned myself to believe, based on my own experiences and other beliefs, that death doesn't end life.  Death marks the beginning of a different life.  Once we're done learning what we're supposed to learn here (or not :grin: ), we will move on to better things.  I welcome death, too.  I'm not afraid of it any more.  I used to be afraid of it, years ago.  I used to have panic attacks.  But I think that comes from not knowing what death is.  Once you have an understanding of what death is, there is not so much fear.  But you have to figure out what death means, and what is going to happen after we die, for yourself.  Talk to people.  Read books.  Then, even if you decide that death is just the end of this life and nothing will happen after death, you can learn to reconcile death.  It's just part of life, and we all have to go through it.  When you're dead, you're dead.  It's inevitable.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineSole_Worthy
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2732581 - 05/26/04 04:01 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Death is not a posotive or negative event, it just is
It's an inevitbale part of us, Birth, Life and Death


--------------------
get it all together get like birds of a feather


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: Sole_Worthy]
    #2732714 - 05/26/04 04:30 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Thank you so much, everyone.  I will definately take your suggestions and advice to heart.  :heart:

Why am I afraid of death?  Well...I think that the way I was raised might have something to do with that.  When I was a little girl, my parents used to tell me how if I wasn't saved, I would burn in hell when I died.  I was only about 6 or 7 at the time, and "burning in hell" sounded very bad and scary.  I used to lie awake at night agonizing over it as a child, until one day I told my parents that I didn't want to burn in hell, and they prayed with me and just like that I was a Christian. 

By the way, I mean no offense to any Christians reading by this story, I am just relaying where I think my fear of death comes from. 

Anyway, I was brought up with stories of how death is such a terrible, awful, wretched thing if you are an unbeliever.  So for a long time, until I was a teenager, I kept lying to myself, convincing myself that "Yes, I'm a Christian and so I won't burn in hell when I die." 

The tale of how I drifted away from Christianity is kind of long, so I won't bore you with it, but needless to say, I no longer participate or believe in "mainstream" Christianity.  That is not to say that I don't find virtues in the Christian faith, with Jesus especially. 

I guess I don't know what I have faith in anymore, and in the back of my mind I keep hearing my mother say, "You'll go to hell if you aren't a Christian, you'll burn in hell..."

So I think that my fear of death stems from that, as well uncertainty about the unknown. 

Thanks if you read all this  :heart:


*me*


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OfflineCleverName
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2732892 - 05/26/04 05:06 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

are you afraid to fall asleep?


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: CleverName]
    #2732962 - 05/26/04 05:19 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah....


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OfflineRenegade8
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: MOTH]
    #2733049 - 05/26/04 05:35 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
"You'll go to hell if you aren't a Christian, you'll burn in hell..."





My response to people who've told me I'll burn in hell for not believing is to point out all the good people who were non-Christians. I have a hard time believing that someone like Gandhi is in hell just because he was Hindu.


--------------------
I'm just see-through faded, super jaded, and out of my mind. - R.I.P. Layne


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: Renegade8]
    #2733075 - 05/26/04 05:40 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Renegade420 said:
Quote:

EllemyshShade said:
"You'll go to hell if you aren't a Christian, you'll burn in hell..."





My response to people who've told me I'll burn in hell for not believing is to point out all the good people who were non-Christians. I have a hard time believing that someone like Gandhi is in hell just because he was Hindu.




Well, exactly. But I lived with their voices surrounding me for years and years, telling me what would happen to me if I died and wasn't a Christian believer...

I've come so far from my "roots," and I believe that I've grown in a positive direction. But there is that fear that I've always had, as a child and even now...of what will happen to my awareness when I die.


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OfflineScarfmeister
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2733104 - 05/26/04 05:46 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

All our times have come
Here but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind the sun or the rain (we can be like they are)
Come on baby (don't fear the reaper)
Baby take my hand (don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly (don't fear the reaper)
Baby I'm your man
La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la

Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity (Romeo and Juliet)
40,000 men and women everyday (like Romeo and Juliet)
40,000 men and women everyday (redefine happiness)
Another 40,000 coming everyday (we can be like they are)
Come on baby (don't fear the reaper)
Baby take my hand (don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly (don't fear the reaper)
Baby I'm your man
La-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la-la

Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew then disappeared
The curtains flew then he appeared (saying don't be afraid)
Come on baby (and she had no fear)
And she ran to him (then they started to fly)
They looked backward and said goodbye (she had become like they are)
She had taken his hand (she had become like they are)
Come on baby (don't fear the reaper)


--------------------
--------------------
We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: Scarfmeister]
    #2733347 - 05/26/04 06:38 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I found this on a site called GotQuestions.org:

Question: "What happens to people when they die? What happens at the resurrection?"

Answer: The Bible tells us that the instant you die, you are taken to Heaven or Hell based on whether you had received Christ as your Savior or not (Matt 25:46). For believers, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2Cor 5:6-8; Phil 1:23). For unbelievers, death means everlasting punishment in Hell (Luke 16:22-23). Until the final resurrection, though, there is currently a ?temporary? Heaven and Hell. At the Rapture (1Thess 4:13-18; 1Cor 15:50-54), believers receive their glorified resurrection bodies. Believers who die are in Heaven, they simply do not receive their resurrection bodies until their bodies are resurrected. At the final resurrection, unbelievers will receive their eternal bodies. Believers will be sent to the New Heavens and New Earth (Rev 21:1). Unbelievers will be thrown into the lake of fire. (Rev 20:11-15). These are the final, eternal destinations of all people - based entirely on whether a person had trusted Jesus Christ alone for the salvation of their sins.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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Anonymous

Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2733446 - 05/26/04 07:01 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Are you afraid of the act of dying or the possibility of what comes after?


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: Frog]
    #2733540 - 05/26/04 07:23 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I went and looked up some of the bible verses that that paragraph that I cited quotes, and now I'm sort of unclear if people who are good are going to go to hell just for not believing in God and Jesus. Some of the passages sound like they are saying that even if you didn't believe in God, if you had a good heart and were a good person, you are going to heaven. Other passages specifically state that unless you believe in God and Jesus, you will go to hell.

Personally, I would like to think that God is a merciful, just God, and He has been. I mean, look, He sends His own son to die for our sins so that we can be redeemed and go to heaven. I can't believe that He would send a good person to hell just for not believing in God.

Except, personally, I don't think I would want to take a chance that there's no God and risk hell, if that is in fact what happens if we die without accepting Jesus as our savior.

And then again, I figure that if someone doesn't believe in God, then there's no hell to worry about.

Out of curiosity, those of you who don't believe in God, what do you think happens to us after death? Anyone? Anyone?


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineLux
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help m [Re: Frog]
    #2733624 - 05/26/04 07:41 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Don't take the bible so literally.


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OfflineViveka
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Re: Can I stop thinking of death as a negative thing? Help me? [Re: MOTH]
    #2733660 - 05/26/04 07:50 PM (13 years, 1 month ago)

I've been stricken with the terror of the awareness that I will die while laying in bed. I can overcome it quite easily by realizing that life is ultimately the moment. Has there ever been something in your life that terrified you in anticipation of it, like a confrontation with someone, or fear of exposure, or fear of a coming event, and when it finally happens and it's over you think Gee, why was I so scared? It happened and life was a series of many moments leading up to just that one last moment that you were so afraid of. It's really just nonproductive to fear that way.

Focus your energy on the moments that you still have. Plan for expected moments in the future, but don't waste your harmony dwelling on the one moment that might end all moments. For once it has happened, it will have been only another moment.


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