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Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P
    #2337586 -

"Rock stars ... is there anything they don't know?"

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."

"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever ... thy will be done."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

"God cannot be EVERYWHERE, right?" ( Homer as Adam in a dream )

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

"To be loved, you have to be nice to others EVERYDAY!. To be hated, you don't have to do squat." ( advice to Mr.Burns )

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"Good drink ... good meat ... good God, let's eat!"

"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV."

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me."

"The lesson is : Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!"

"This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke : It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!"

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

"Jesus, Alla, Buddha ... I love you all!"

"And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream."

"Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh."

"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."

"Could God create a donut so delicious that he himself could not resist eating it?"

"My wife is not a doobie to be passed around! On our wedding day I promised to bogart her for life!"

"No offence Apu, but when they were handing out religions you must have been out taking a whizz."

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."

"Stupid risks make life worth living."

"Remember to rebel against the authorities, kids!"

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!"



--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2337607 -

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

I can relate to that one the best.

Did anyone see the movie "Finding Nemo"? There's a fish in it called "Dorie" or "Doris". She has a short-term memory loss problem. That would be me. I can say something and five minutes later forget that I said it.

Thanks for posting those. I don't watch the show, but those are pretty funny quotes.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2337627 -

Marge: "Homer, thats not God, thats just a waffle that got stuck to the cieling."

*Marge pries the waffle down and hands it to Homer*

Homer: "I know I shouldn't eat thee... mmmmmmm... sacrilicious..."

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2337832 -

the funny thing is, i have seen the show so many times that, i know every episode thos qutes came from

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P [Re: DF2K]
    #2339104 -

hahaha
yeah me too

great post!


--------------------
Blas'?trid (bl?s tr?d)
    n.  3rd generation derivitave of a combination of 'bastard' and 'blasted'.  Used as both an insult or an expletive.
    ex.  Blastrid!

Stereopattern  <--My music.

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2339308 -

ahahahahahaahha great post, post more if its possible


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you can bomb the world to pieces, but you cant bomb the world to peace

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;amp;P [Re: God]
    #2339382 -

Um, God, we were talking about you on another thread *wonders if your ears are burning* and, um, we had a question for you...

...was Mary a virgin???  :grin:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;amp;P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2340236 -

D'OH!



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Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2341168 -

Marge, I'm not going to lie to you...[silence]

But Marge I swear I didn't think you were going to find out!


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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2342405 -

"Trying is the first step towards failure" LOL, i love that one. It's the lazy man motto.


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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;P [Re: Spokesman]
    #2342885 -

"well, you tried son. And you failed miserably. What have you learned? Don't try."

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;P [Re: Frog]
    #2343233 -

Frog said:
Um, God, we were talking about you on another thread *wonders if your ears are burning* and, um, we had a question for you...

...was Mary a virgin???  :grin:


yeah, she was a virgin, but she could suck like no other... :shocked:


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you can bomb the world to pieces, but you cant bomb the world to peace

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2343438 -

"This time I'm drunk on love...and beer."

"Hey, this is Homer Simpson sayin' howdy to all you girls out there in radioland."

"I only pay the Homer tax."

"Well, all I'm saying is that we can go down to the pound and get you a new jazz man."

"I want to set the record straight - I thought the cop was a prostitute."


--------------------
Here comes the sun, do n do do,
Here comes the sun, and I say,
It's alright...

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;amp;P [Re: IamHungry]
    #2343444 -

Some guy who studied at the same Univ as I did his whole masters thesis on religion and spirituality in the Simpsons.

Yup.

A thesis cant get much better than that.


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my signature is too long

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Re: Homer Simpson's contribution to S&amp;amp;P [Re: silversoul7]
    #2344830 -

Damn, I've been trying to find good quotes while watching the Simpsons... found a few, but I'll have to go back to those episodes to dig them out.. I'll find a couple for now. :wink:

"Lisa, the important thing is for your mother to repress what happened. Push it deep down inside her, so she'll never annoy us again."

*Homer has a picture of God which changes from a God with a smile on his face holding a thumbs up to a picture of him looking pissed holding his arm out like he's going to do blow some shit up or something when he flips it back and forth*
"Vengeful God, Loving God. Vengeful God, Loving God. Vengeful God, Loving God. Ehehehe, I could do this all day! And I just might! Vengeful God, Loving God. Vengeful God, Loving God."


"You know, I used to think that God only helped professional athletes and Grammy winners. But now I realize he helps shmoes like me too."

Got some of his prayers:

"Oh merciful God, who has blessed Mankind with two kinds of clam chowder, help me find the remote."

"Oh Lord, please guide that diaper into someone's shnoz."

"Dear Lord, as I think of you dressed in white with your splendid beer, I am reminded of Colonel Sanders, who is now seated at your right hand, shoveling popcorn chicken into thy mouth. Lord, could you come up with a delicious new taste treat like he did? *claps hands* I command you!"

"Oh heavenly God, my son is plauged with homework. With your vast knowledge of the shorebirds of Maryland, I know you can help him."

"Lord, please use your space-age, clog-busting powers on this stubborn drain. Then, take some time for yourself. Invite a friend. Have a nice dinner."

"Lord, this is a dire emergency. If you could fix my house, or make a new house from one of my ribs...... *falls into a hole on the church property, a lawyer shows up* so that's your answer! I'll sue the church!"

Marge is like "Homer, you can't sue the Church! They'll poke fun at us in the Church bulletin!" Homer says "Well, it wouldn't be the first time", and he picks up a bulletin with a picture of him sleeping in a pew, and the caption says "Jesus died for this?" :lol:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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