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Positronius
playboy

Registered: 11/27/03
Posts: 947
Loc: montreal-vancouver-tokyo
Last seen: 19 years, 5 months
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: Frog]
#2176699 - 12/14/03 12:04 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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the 2012 cult just needs a charismatic leader now (preferably with blonde dreadlocks and lots of chest hair) and you guys will be ready to set up a profitable bussiness praying on the insecure and confused youth of America.
-------------------- and you know it like a poet, like....babydoll
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Frog
Warrior


Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
Loc: The Zero Point Field
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: Positronius]
#2176717 - 12/14/03 12:13 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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LOL!!! Not me. I'm not a leader-type. I'm also not a good follower. (Rebellious type here.) I'm reading all sorts of things, learning all sorts of things, and the 2012 thing is interesting because of how many religions and groups, whatever, point towards 2012 as a time of great change. So it will be interesting to see what happens.
In the meantime, I'm simply on a spiritual journey. Trying to put things together.
-------------------- The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire. -Teilard
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lucid
Jack's AlteredConsciousness

Registered: 03/29/03
Posts: 6,319
Loc: up on the bidet
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: Frog]
#2176902 - 12/14/03 01:37 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hey Markos, thanks for your concern 
yea, I remember u mentioned paradoxical intent to me a while ago and I was quite happy for a short while, when I applied to my own panic attacks and noticed that I couldn't instigate one. However, one day it didn't work and I actually managed to instigate a panic attack with horrible concequences... I had to go see my shrink etc...un-fun... strange, I'm a pretty level headed/rational/logical guy and on one level I see the absurdity of my predicament and yet am unable to resolve it logically...
-------------------- "no-mind un-thinks no-thought..."
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Sclorch
Clyster


Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
#2177848 - 12/14/03 09:16 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
MarkostheGnostic said: It just amazes me that anyone can immediately dismiss ''true love" as a mere "distraction" when the prescription has been made by many profoundly human beings, the greatest (in my belief) of which was Jesus. I wonder why someone who is about to dismiss this prescription does not, or cannot, give pause and hold his tongue. It requires just a modicum of simple humility to recognize how ridiculously arrogant it is to dismiss Wisdom in favor of some mere mortal opinion. Then again...to suggest worhipping conflict and pain pretty much clarifies which side of 'The Force' you belong to, whether you realize it or not. And...if you actually are attempting to 'help' lucid, then that old addage about the path to Hell being paved with good intentions is well-illustrated once again.
Okay, first off... go fuck yourself.  Secondly, you obviously skipped over and/or MISREAD certain key parts of my post.
Sclorch: sufficient distraction at best (only when it comes to overcoming the internal struggle, I'm not knocking true love). Markos: It just amazes me that anyone can immediately dismiss ''true love" as a mere "distraction"...
Thanks for twisting my words. I figured you were actually familiar with the grammatical tool we call the modifier. 
Markos: It requires just a modicum of simple humility to recognize how ridiculously arrogant it is to dismiss Wisdom in favor of some mere mortal opinion.
Again, you're having trouble with the English language. I think you used "humility" when you meant piety.
Markos: to suggest worhipping conflict and pain pretty much clarifies which side of 'The Force' you belong to, whether you realize it or not.
Wow. I really need to straighten you out more often. You're fuckin' out of line here. I can tell you're obviously a little emotional... the misspellings, the incorrect grammar, the makeshift high horse (you should've used more than one coat of paint to cover up the "Tide with Bleach" on the side there).
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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ZenGecko
enthusiast
Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 285
Last seen: 11 months, 5 days
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: Sclorch]
#2178853 - 12/15/03 04:24 AM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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i've posted it somewhere lucid but i cant remember where so here is the short version and the events leading up to it.
for the last few years i've been very intrested in philosophy and science, and had been reading books like the tao of physics, mind of god, and some others, and all the evidence seemed to point to unity, oneness or whatever, not just in the books but in my own mind and experience and thinking...so i was begining to believe it, or atleast begining to think that was probably how things were. Then i tripped for the first time, and about that same time or soon after was reading a book on zen. My first trip was mostly good though the last 2 hours i thought i was going insain, and finally thought me and my friends were dead. When we got home i started getting better, and then had this small epiphany, in an instance, all the stuff i had been reading and thinking about and starting to believe, all came together and in an instant i didnt believe it, i knew thats how it was, and i keep saying "my god, are whole life is the trip" anyways it was cool but since it was drug induced i pretty much dismissed it, but later when i was reading about zen, and kensho experiences, my lil epiphany had alot in common with the discriptions i had read. so i started thinking back on it more and became motivated to start meditating. After the fourth night of meditating atleast and hour every night i woke up one day, and during the course of the day, i noticed something was different. I started looking around my apt, and the light levels seemed to change, and everything around me just looked different some how, seemed more real. Then a feeling washed over me, it was like being wrapped in a warm blanket and the realization that everything was just as it should be, and that it was good hit me. It was like god tapped me on the shoulder and said, this is how it is, and its good, and there is nothing to fear. It felt like i was experiencing some kind of grace, god's grace i guess i dont know what else to call it. i had no idea till that moment that such a feelling even existed. The closest thing i can compare it to, would be like being in love though. And it hits u instantly and at full force. For a couple of weeks i persisted in a state of afterglow, and near fearlessness. i was also way more confident. And everything literally looked different, though its hard to explain how, more real i guess, and i felt like i was seeing everything for the first time or atleast how it really is for the first time. I started realizing how warped or off some things i had thought were, and other things i had never thought of, i started noticing more how treated people, and the judgements we make about people, and even everyday objects. It my theory that all these value judgements and mems or whatever actually physically effect the way things look to us, and it seemed like this experience had pushed the reset button on all that. Its hard to recall all the details but from the descriptions i've read of satori, kensho, religious conversion, enlightenment, whatever, it fits with nearly all of them perfectly except that i never expereinced complete ego death, but i have seemed to have atleast persisted in a near state of what i think is nonduel awareness, though i'm not sure, and it seems to fade sometimes, but as soon as i notice it fading it all comes back. I think more then fading i'm just getting used to it, and i think thats the danger, taking for granted the experience lessens it. meditation seems to reinforce it though, so now i've kinda platued, but have still kept "half" of the experience if i had to guess. i changed as much because of that experience as i probably did between the ages of 18 to 26. I'm not sure but i think it was a faith state, i think believing and having faith are two different things now. Faith isnt a thought or an opinion or a belief, its a feeling, as tangible as love or hate or fear, and atleast as powerful as any one of those. Atleast thats come to be my opinion now. It wasn't the typical faith in the typical christian idea of god, just faith, faith in "it" "this" i dont know. It was also kind of like being born and/or dying, the rest of my life before it seems like the memory of a dream, and the stuff after seems more like regular memories. I'm much less judgemental now, even more laid back then i used to be, (and thats alot), much nicer in general, though i was usually pretty nice anyways, now even more so though, basically it seemed to take most of what i would call my good qualities and amplify them, while toning down some of the not so good. Ofcourse i could be dellusional and as much or more of an asshole as i've ever been...i can't deny that possibility  Ok i guess that was a pretty long short version, but thats about as barebones as i can get and still feel like i'm not leaving something major out.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder


Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 20 days
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: Sclorch]
#2178923 - 12/15/03 05:54 AM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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Your first sentence proclaims your nature MUCH more loudly than anything I could say, so thank YOU for saving me any additional effort. Unfortunately for you, your adolescent anger is surpassed only by your nascent nastiness. You may amuse the like-minded, but you contribute nothing.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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kaiowas
lest we baguette


Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,501
Loc: oz
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: lucid]
#2179048 - 12/15/03 08:27 AM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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conflict, where does this conflict come from?? my feeble little "problems" things will get sorted out, there is enough time on our hands lol.
it's neat to just think that "hey I am aware of the fact that I am here." we have a sense of self. you have feelings too, feelings are felt nearly immediately based on your desires, fears, assumptions, addictions, expectations and so forth. these parts of you mold your world together and tell YOU what YOUR world is.
I dunno, what I do is just realize that while i may FEEL like I have a problem, there really is NO problem. it's just a bunch of chemicals in my head that seem to have a "problem" with something
now seek out what that problem and see why it makes you mad. was something not working the way you wanted? you expected for this object to work, but today it desides no it won't. some people get mad, and throw a fit. but then what good does that do??? the fit is over, they exerted unhealthy stress on themselves. maybe even break some objects??
another peson in the same situation recognizes that in life you win some and you lose some and so losing any kind of cool is pointless. instead of getting mad, you try to fix whatever the problem is.
it's about efficiency of you and your "time"
how much are you really in control of your emotions? of the internal dialogue? ever try to reach silence in the mind? where clarity may exist?
-------------------- Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.
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Sclorch
Clyster


Registered: 07/12/99
Posts: 4,805
Loc: On the Brink of Madness
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Re: Internal Conflict and the search for peace... [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
#2179480 - 12/15/03 12:22 PM (20 years, 2 months ago) |
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Oh right... I'm sorry. I should've cloaked my ugly comments a little better, more like you, right? If you can't deal with "foul" language, then you're more puritanical than you claim. The Bible said nothing of the word "Fuck" being off-limits.
Quit being so fragile and tell me why exactly (read: straight answer, this isn't a poetry forum) it's such a horrible idea that one should embrace uncertainty. Also, I'd rather not sift through thinly-veiled downplayers only to find that there was no straight answer.
-------------------- Note: In desperate need of a cure...
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