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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/06/00
Posts: 10,710
Loc: Portland, OR
qualities of a mate
    #2056441 - 10/30/03 08:48 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

i seem to fall for men who are sci-fi/fantasy reading, dungeons and dragons obsessed, trivia-loving history buff, rock-collecting nerds that ironically dress real butch, wear full-body leather, grow long, long beards, and ride motercycles. despite their interests, they're not at all socially inept and have very attractive personalities. but, they're not interested in spirituality or entheogens.
would having a partner that didn't take interest in spirituality or entheogens bother you? i may have been at one time, but lately a sane, loving, honest, and responsible mate with a different, but very attractive personality seems more important.
the new boy is definately turning on sides of me i haven't seen in awhile.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
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Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #2056458 - 10/30/03 09:17 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I wouldn't have to be with a girl who uses entheogens, but she'd have to be on the same level as me both spiritually and intellectually. I can't stand shallow girls.


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineEvilGir
Im the on coming storm

Registered: 11/26/01
Posts: 1,301
Loc: Planet Irk
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: silversoul7]
    #2056483 - 10/30/03 09:33 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

Well thats prob why I am still single, I would have to be with a girl who drink cups of l.s.d for breakfast. But sadly most people around me are just T.V obsessed programmed barbie dolls.


--------------------
Fighting the man the best way I can.


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Offlineentiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
Male
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #2056896 - 10/30/03 01:18 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

i'd prolly prefer a long-term girlfriend that would enjoy psychedelic experiences with me. but it's definitely not necesary. i'm thinking that if i stay with my current girlfriend for a while (sometimes it seems like we will, sometimes it seems like i should have broken up with her yesterday), mebbe she'll get more into them? i don't wanna force her tho, so i'm trying not to pressure her or anything


--------------------
/opinion
.sean


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Offlinestart25
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Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 111
Last seen: 13 years, 11 months
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #2057002 - 10/30/03 01:56 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

if a woman ever did enter my life, she wpould have to be a) unconcerned with physical appearence and b) at least open to psychadelic drugs, or at least with my usage of them. those would be my only two criteria. i'm not very spiritual so that wouldn't be a factor, but yeah, now that I think about it, it would be pretty weird to be the only one doing drugs so maybe that is important.


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InvisibleDoctorJ
Stranger
 Arcade Champion: Frogger

Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: start25]
    #2057038 - 10/30/03 02:21 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I just want a chick that smokes pot, plays video games, and enjoys sex as much as I do. The ability to converse over intellectuial issues wouldnt hurt either.

Its funny, because I go out to clubs and raves a lot, looking for that special someone. People tell me: "Dude, you're an intellectual. You're not gonna find the right girl at a place like that." But if I were to go to college campus, say, Harvard, or something, and look for a chick there, the probability would be low that she would be down with all the partying I do.

So I guess those are my choices: intellectual prude, or dumb slut. But I know there has to be an intelligent girl out there that parties as hard as I do. After all, I exist, so there has to be another person out there like me. And maybe that person is female. And maybe she wants a committed relationship, and is attracted to guys that look and act like me. Or maybe I'm asking too much, and its just hopeless.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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OfflineSanityIsOvrRated
Live for Today

Registered: 10/23/03
Posts: 218
Loc: NY
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2057205 - 10/30/03 03:13 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

My partner wouldn't necessarily have to be into drugs, but he would have totally comfortable with my drug/partying experiences. I have friends that don't do drugs but still go out and party with me, and I would like a mate at least on that level. I must admit, the idea of someone who can party like hell with me and have a brain is appealing.

I don't know if I could handle a hard-core athiest or a hard-core Christian. Both extremes seem far too self-righteous for me. Anyone in between would be okay.

I have the same problem in finding people that DoctorJ does: the intellecuals don't want to party and the partiers don't want to think.

I'll find someone someday...right?


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InvisibleCosmicJokeM
happy mutant
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Registered: 04/06/00
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Loc: Portland, OR
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: SanityIsOvrRated]
    #2057406 - 10/30/03 04:05 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

intellecutually/professionally, i have an uncanny ability in attracting/falling for computer programmers, chemical engineers, mathameticians etc.
a lot of the qualities i like in mates seem to reflect myself through my adolescent years, incidentally - i had a high aptitude for calculus & physics, built computers and did a moderate amount of programming - was totally fantasy/sci-fi, rpg'ing, and theater/acting obsessed

other things i know about myself, i would never settle for a mate that i didn't find totally and fully physically attractive, regardless of whether or not their personality was totally attractive. i look for friends with wholely attractive personalities, and mates both wholely physically and mentally attractive.

at this phase in my life, my boy could probably have me quit using drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes as a staple recreation altogether without resistance.... anymore all i need is a glass of wine with a good dinner, to smoke a cigar every now and then at the bar, a glass of scotch now and then, and an annual entheogenic experience.

i guess the idea of turning my mate on to psychedelics doesn't appeal to me.... i don't have much of a daddy/mentoring streak in me. i don't even parse like tripping with people at this time in my life.


--------------------
Everything is better than it was the last time.  I'm good.

If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.

It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.

I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too.  If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.


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OfflinePsilygirl
cyan goddess
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Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 4,418
Loc: PNW
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Re: qualities of a mate [Re: DoctorJ]
    #2057477 - 10/30/03 04:25 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

i feel the exact same way....

i have learned to balance responsibility and partying to the extreme... A student at a hard university, took a calculus midterm yesterday and did well but i'm poppin pills tomorrow night at a rave...

its all about the perfect balance.

my "dream" guy i guess wouldnt necessarily have to be super smart or super party guy, but balance is key. i swear hes out there somewhere....


--------------------
"Love says 'I am everything.' Wisdom says 'I am nothing.' Between the two, my life flows."


Puget Sound Mycological Society


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OfflineSpecialEd
+ one

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 6,220
Loc: : Gringo
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: Psilygirl]
    #2057498 - 10/30/03 04:31 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

It is interesting that opposites attract and yet all of us are surrounding ourselves with like minded individuals


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"Plus one upvote +1..."
--- //
-- :meff:
  /l_l\/
--\-/----


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Offlinefireworks_godS
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Male

Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,851
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 4 months, 2 days
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: SpecialEd]
    #2057609 - 10/30/03 05:05 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I want someone that is sweet and intelligent. Very beautiful in her own way. Someone that I could not go without being with for any length of time. Someone very deep and insightful.

It is all in the eyes. The eyes will let me know... :grin:
Peace.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: silversoul7]
    #2058025 - 10/30/03 07:04 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

silversoul7 said:
I wouldn't have to be with a girl who uses entheogens, but she'd have to be on the same level as me both spiritually and intellectually. I can't stand shallow girls.




for sure, an intellectual girl that operates on thought and not shallow bullshit.


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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InvisibleEvolving
Resident Cynic

Registered: 10/01/02
Posts: 5,385
Loc: Apt #6, The Village
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #2058600 - 10/30/03 10:14 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

She must be willing...


--------------------
To call humans 'rational beings' does injustice to the term, 'rational.'  Humans are capable of rational thought, but it is not their essence.  Humans are animals, beasts with complex brains.  Humans, more often than not, utilize their cerebrum to rationalize what their primal instincts, their preconceived notions, and their emotional desires have presented as goals - humans are rationalizing beings.


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Invisiblequestioning
shaker
Registered: 10/30/03
Posts: 64
Loc: joisey
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: Evolving]
    #2059005 - 10/31/03 12:09 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

physical attraction- it's important. i have to be able to look at the guy and be like 'man, i wanna do him soo bad right now' i want there to be raw, physical, passionate lust.

Mind- I love to think, i love to explore possibilities and ideas. My ideal guy would be able to come to his own opinion, not just listen and nod to mine.

Hobbies- He doesn't have to do any drug, but he has to be willing to accept that i do them, and i'm responsible with them. He has to have interests seperate from my own. We both would need a place where we can do something solo, or at least not with each other. i don't want a shadow, i don't want to be his. We definitly need things in common tho. I like to hike, i love it more with my dogs, i love exploring the woods, or a new city. I'd love to do some of those things with him.

Spirituality- i don't have a defined thought. I have many different beliefs that i strongly follow. I don't expect him to believe them, but i expect an open mind, and not to have my values belittled because they're not his own.

oh and he's gotta love kids and love animals. I've got to have both.


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important questions sometimes involve a quest to answer.


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OfflineNiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'
Female User Gallery

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: questioning]
    #2059259 - 10/31/03 01:22 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

My current boyfriend is what I've been looking for, what I need in a lover.

He's been into entheogens for longer than I have, he's intelligent, kind, thoughtful, very open about spiritual concepts, loves nature and animals like I do. He's spontaneous, curious, creative, beautiful, passionate, sexy... and like all but one of my previous partners: a musician like myself!

Perfect.


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Offlinethe universe
Harbinger ofEldritch Despair
Male

Registered: 03/11/99
Posts: 1,456
Loc: Under your bed
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #2059919 - 10/31/03 07:32 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I think setting up specific rules for what you look for in a mate is a bad thing. I've found myself attracted to suprisingly different girls. It's usually unexpected when that "click" happens. I've had girl friends that were thin and tall, short with a big ass, skinny with no tits, on and on. I've also gone between girls that are intelligent and sarcastic, sweet yet blunt, a little naive but fun. I just love women really. I'm not picky. My current girl however is almost just like me except cuter.


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"If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the 'Fuck you' signs in the world."- J. D. Salinger


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InvisibleIn(di)go
People of the sun.
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/30/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: CosmicJoke]
    #2063108 - 11/01/03 06:20 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

she doesnt have to do drugs, or be into drugs for that matter... but she has to understand why i do them... why i feel connected to creation when i do shrooms... and why i realized we are all one on an lsd trip... and how all the experienced i have made on psychedelics helped me learn, grow and expand... and made me the person i am... and she has to love that person... this me with all my crumbs and mistakes... and all my blessings and smiles...

as for the spiritual side, she has to believe in god... hmmm no let me rephrase... she has to KNOW god... she has to have experienced him/her/it... that is an aspect of my life i NEED to share with my partner... its just necesarry...


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InvisiblePsiloKitten
Ganja Goddess

Registered: 02/13/99
Posts: 1,617
Re: qualities of a mate [Re: In(di)go]
    #2064109 - 11/02/03 02:45 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

-Compassionate
-Intelligent and educated
-Patient
-Accepting
-Must understand why I do drugs even if he doesnt do them. (It helps that he used to do them but has achieved what he wished spiritually and doesnt feel compelled to partake.. although he doesnt rule out doing them again in the future.)
-Respects females
-Respects himself
-Respects the environment
-Athletic (no football..)
-Christian
-Handsome (brown hair, beautiful blue eyes a definate heart racing plus, atleast 6 foot is nice as well)
- Family oriented
- Social
- Music lover
- motivated
- talker
- good with finances
- not primarily focused on material possessions
My fiance, in a nutshell. I could list alot more qualities, but when you find your soulmate every single thing about them is perfect for you.. even the things that wouldnt be conventionally considered great. Because they make you reevaluate, learn and adapt... and most importantly, grow.


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Anonymous

Re: qualities of a mate [Re: PsiloKitten]
    #2064205 - 11/02/03 04:10 AM (14 years, 1 month ago)

is everyones qualities of a mate splitting images of themselves but with a penis or - a penis?


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Anonymous

Re: qualities of a mate [Re: ]
    #2064887 - 11/02/03 02:25 PM (14 years, 1 month ago)

I need a woman that will keep it real. Not some woman that will split when the going gets tough. Some one that will stand by my side and give me support is all I ask.


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