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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Relajarse]
    #18403067 -

Relajarse said:
Anonymous said:
Tripsurfer said:
How do you expect someone to like you if you dont even like you.

Quit wallowing in self-pity and man the fuck up!


In real life i try to be confident and friendly to everyone....it just isn't working


Then give up bro. Spend your life miserable and alone. Die an old lonely old man with a hustler mag in your arms cuddling your hospital pillow :shrug:

Or keep trying (whether that means lowering your standards...actually BEING assertive etc.etc.)

Those are your options and the sad fact is you could easily die alone or be a virgin till you are 40. Unless you do something.

Your a man...act like one. Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

what do you mean by being assertive

i still feel like a kid, not really like a man. im really insecure

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18403120 -

Anonymous said:
Relajarse said:
Anonymous said:
Tripsurfer said:
How do you expect someone to like you if you dont even like you.

Quit wallowing in self-pity and man the fuck up!


In real life i try to be confident and friendly to everyone....it just isn't working


Then give up bro. Spend your life miserable and alone. Die an old lonely old man with a hustler mag in your arms cuddling your hospital pillow :shrug:

Or keep trying (whether that means lowering your standards...actually BEING assertive etc.etc.)

Those are your options and the sad fact is you could easily die alone or be a virgin till you are 40. Unless you do something.

Your a man...act like one. Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

what do you mean by being assertive

i still feel like a kid, not really like a man. im really insecure


You know how every time you are with a girl...deep down you wish they would confess their strong feelings of attraction for you? You know how you wish they would make a move.....or try to kiss you...etc.etc?

Good. Now realize that YOU are the one who is supposed to be doing those things since you have the penis.


--------------------
Lyanla:: Where was God when you put that first line of cocaine in your system ?

DMX:: ......right there :bored:

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18404193 -

Just try exaggerating your stories a little bit and make them more appealing , so when girls hear them they want to listen , you don't want the ladies , to tune you out . My sister who "all my friends find  attractive " likes nerdy guys so don't trip off your intelligence girls would rather have a man with confidence , I don't have a clue why

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Shroomhunter510]
    #18404574 -

Shroomhunter510 said:
Just try exaggerating your stories a little bit and make them more appealing , so when girls hear them they want to listen , you don't want the ladies , to tune you out . My sister who "all my friends find  attractive " likes nerdy guys so don't trip off your intelligence girls would rather have a man with confidence , I don't have a clue why


No offense....but bad advice. Its easy to spot story tellers who are actually compulsive liars. No one is impressed by a bullshitter


--------------------
Lyanla:: Where was God when you put that first line of cocaine in your system ?

DMX:: ......right there :bored:

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Relajarse]
    #18406718 -

Relajarse said:
Shroomhunter510 said:
Just try exaggerating your stories a little bit and make them more appealing , so when girls hear them they want to listen , you don't want the ladies , to tune you out . My sister who "all my friends find  attractive " likes nerdy guys so don't trip off your intelligence girls would rather have a man with confidence , I don't have a clue why


No offense....but bad advice. Its easy to spot story tellers who are actually compulsive liars. No one is impressed by a bullshitter


I second this. Creating attraction is not primarily a verbal skill at all.

If you film several social interactions and then mute the audio, you'll still be able to tell which one's going to have more success with the girls based on eye contact, body posture (loose, relaxed / energetic, anything but anxious and submissive really) skin contact, playfulness, etc. You can tell this without the audio, because the content of the story is of minimal importance. It's the delivery that matters most of the time.

There's a rhythm to these things. Eye contact for instance. Where are you looking? Into people's eyes or down like a clueless shmuck? Do you have pleasant eye contact or wandering aimlessly all over the place? Your rhythm of speech, is it smooth and steady, or fast and annoying, or low voice and flimsy? Body language. Do you take up more space than you need (you should) or "being well behaved" and excessively proper, which shows submissiveness and low initiative? Do you lean forward? You shouldn't. You should step forward if you need to get close. Are you facing people full on with your shoulder line? You shouldn't. You should be at 30 degrees most, obliquely. You don't face people before they face you. All or some of this shit is probably way outside of your awareness, and so you're making huge mistakes you don't even know about. Learn your shit, then it will work for you.

Do you get your euphoria/fun/laughter doses before you meet people, or just go from low energy sleeping in bed, to low energy breakfast, to FML school/work activities and then try to talk to folks? If the latter, then of course they won't give you the time of day. Why would they? What awesome shit do you bring to their life?

Make some of these experiments. Go to the amusement park, go on some kickass rollercoaster, and then after the adrenaline hits, see if your game doesn't improve. Watch 20 minutes of stand-up comedy in the morning before you leave, see the effect.

Go to a martial arts club for a months, or try kendo, or fencing of any kind. Anything that's physically challenging to you as a man, where you end up sweating and grunting and making some real actual effort. Facing people in a competitive context will quickly teach you to hold your ground, and working for each successful hit will teach you some awesome stuff as well.

You don't have to become a martial artist or a runner or fencer or anything, just go there, have a few kicks and punches thrown your way, get a few light bruises, have some experiences that actually make you quit your fucked up thought process for a while (because the situation is challenging enough to really require ALL your attention, leaving no time for constant thinking) and you'll feel way better.

Challenge yourself in any real way, and you'll feel better, and people will start to notice. Don't do it for other people, do it for yourself.

Just don't expect much to happen from posting in this thread, if you're not going to get off your arse and actually do anything about it. If you're going to hang out at the same places tomorrow as you did yesterday, you're likely to have very similar experiences.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Relajarse]
    #18407474 -

Relajarse said:
Anonymous said:
Relajarse said:
Anonymous said:
In real life i try to be confident and friendly to everyone....it just isn't working


Then give up bro. Spend your life miserable and alone. Die an old lonely old man with a hustler mag in your arms cuddling your hospital pillow :shrug:

Or keep trying (whether that means lowering your standards...actually BEING assertive etc.etc.)

Those are your options and the sad fact is you could easily die alone or be a virgin till you are 40. Unless you do something.

Your a man...act like one. Quit feeling sorry for yourself.

what do you mean by being assertive

i still feel like a kid, not really like a man. im really insecure


You know how every time you are with a girl...deep down you wish they would confess their strong feelings of attraction for you? You know how you wish they would make a move.....or try to kiss you...etc.etc?

Good. Now realize that YOU are the one who is supposed to be doing those things since you have the penis.

well ive never hung out with a girl so i dont really know that feel

Edited by Anonymous (06/12/13 09:10 AM)

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Relajarse]
    #18407698 -

Relajarse said:
Anonymous said:
Tripsurfer said:
How do you expect someone to like you if you dont even like you.

Quit wallowing in self-pity and man the fuck up!


In real life i try to be confident and friendly to everyone....it just isn't working


Then give up bro. Spend your life miserable and alone. Die an old lonely old man with a hustler mag in your arms cuddling your hospital pillow :shrug:

Or keep trying (whether that means lowering your standards...actually BEING assertive etc.etc.)

Those are your options and the sad fact is you could easily die alone or be a virgin till you are 40. Unless you do something.

Your a man...act like one. Quit feeling sorry for yourself.



Here's a quote.

“The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer him up, because that means he has to stop dwelling on himself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence. When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. You get to take yourself oh so very seriously.”
― Tom Robbins


and op, I'm in the same virgin situation(not kissless.  but basically) and it isn't bothering me much at all.  It bothers my friends more than me.  I spend more of my time thinking about which trajectory I want my life to take, reading, and looking at my thoughts, feelings, and emotions

I masturbate a lot so I guess that helps me not dwell on it.

Regardless, no concern whatsoever.

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #18409915 -

Anonymous said:
well ive never hung out with a girl so i dont really know that feel


:whatwhatwhat: Say what now?

Well then get some binoculars, lotion, and get your tree climbing skills in order, I see a flourishing stalking career unfolding before you :lol:

:creepylurker:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin *DELETED* [Re: Spacerific]
    #18417844 -

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x


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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: poke smot!]
    #18419329 -

Honestly man you might not want to but what options do you have find an ugly ass hoe an have her suck your cock.


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #18419743 -

Maybe there is a reason some are having trouble.  Sounds like underlying psychological problems are preventing some from living the lives they desire/deserve.  Try a psychologist, they are often hard to get into with insurance and not being diagnosed first.  But I would NOT recommend going straight to a psychologist or counselor.  The vast majority of psychologist are pill pushers, and are quick to diagnose anything, and don't actually talk in detail with you about your problems.  A psychologist is exactly for that, talking to you about your problems in long sessions and finding the issues and solutions.  Not a quick 15min appointment to shove pills down your throat at a guess diagnosis. Counselors are not as educated as psychologists, they can give very bad advice and try to help in ways that can actually make you worse.

I am just trying to be helpful to anyone who needs it from what I have learned from experience. I could probably respond to half the posts in this section of the forums with the same exact response.


--------------------
Peace, Love.... and all that stuff

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: jbooms]
    #18421508 -

The psychologist thing is weird. She tells me to do stuff, that I don't do, that's why I'm seeing her. Its not working, I still don't do anything she tells me to do.

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: jbooms]
    #18421517 -

jbooms said:
Maybe there is a reason some are having trouble.  Sounds like underlying psychological problems are preventing some from living the lives they desire/deserve.  Try a psychologist, they are often hard to get into with insurance and not being diagnosed first.  But I would NOT recommend going straight to a psychologist or counselor.  The vast majority of psychologist are pill pushers, and are quick to diagnose anything, and don't actually talk in detail with you about your problems.  A psychologist is exactly for that, talking to you about your problems in long sessions and finding the issues and solutions.  Not a quick 15min appointment to shove pills down your throat at a guess diagnosis. Counselors are not as educated as psychologists, they can give very bad advice and try to help in ways that can actually make you worse.

I am just trying to be helpful to anyone who needs it from what I have learned from experience. I could probably respond to half the posts in this section of the forums with the same exact response.


Yawn, going to a psychologist to learn how to effectively get laid and socialize successfully is about as useful as going to church to get heart surgery done or have your car fixed :lol:

OP needs to get his ass in gear and get reading some self improvement books or at least watching some self-improvement lectures and videos, and yes some PUA material as well, to get a clue on the theory. Then, OP needs to get out of the house more and start doing some new things he hasn't done before. All this is a matter of being somewhat lazy and somewhat misinformed about what's going on. Get informed and active, and pussy will be flowing. :boobs: :boobs: :boobs:

usulpsychonaut said:
The psychologist thing is weird. She tells me to do stuff, that I don't do, that's why I'm seeing her. Its not working, I still don't do anything she tells me to do.


Sounds great, keep going it's obviously working :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it. - Matthew 13:16

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: jbooms]
    #18422218 -

Jesus I am retarded sometimes.  I meant don't go to a psychiatrist, go to a psychologist.


--------------------
Peace, Love.... and all that stuff

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: poke smot!]
    #18422373 -

poke smot! said:
OP: I was "square" till about age 22. Feeling good or bad about this depends on how you accept yourself and where you're at.

Comparing myself to others only brought me disappointment - like when my friends tried helping me with my deficit of game. Their intentions were good, but what ultimately worked was accepting that the right girl will come along, so I should sit tight and wait for the right opportunity and take it.

It did increase my comfortability with women to get some kissing experience in, perhaps it was easier because this girl wasn't the most attractive. It was a means to an end.

With my first girlfriend at 22 I pushed the relationship because I was lonely. We had a great time but I ended up getting rejected because I'm a nice guy and she didn't want to hurt me, blahblahlah. This was her shit and really, this led me to understand that I don't want a girl that wants to be treated like trash. By "being a nice guy" I don't mean too-proper and a puss unwilling to take risks. I mean, treating a girl with respect but being playful where appropriate. This girl went back to her ex, who was a verbally and physically abusive scumbag.

So I'm 30 now, granted my emotional growth has progressed like pitch on a cold day. That's fine cause my libido is about as lacking. Finally a girl who's right for me has come along. And I've grown to the point that I have no problem letting things go at the right pace. Yeah I want t take it to the next level, but I don't want to spoil it by rushing.

My experience is possibly waaay different than a majority of men my age. I've just accepted where I'm at and am unwilling to lower my values just to get some pussy. Cause having a meaningful relationship is more important than that.

OP, as for your fears of rejection: What do you have to lose? Eventually you'll realize that if you ever want to get anywhere you'll have to risk situations where you make a fool of yourself due to inexperience. There's no shame in being 19 and square. And I'm sure you won't be located where you are forever. Even if you make a fool of yourself and have to see this girl again, it'll do amazing things for your confidence to ignore these fears and set aside your expectations :sun:


poke smot! said:
OP: I was "square" till about age 22. Feeling good or bad about this depends on how you accept yourself and where you're at.

Comparing myself to others only brought me disappointment - like when my friends tried helping me with my deficit of game. Their intentions were good, but what ultimately worked was accepting that the right girl will come along, so I should sit tight and wait for the right opportunity and take it.

It did increase my comfortability with women to get some kissing experience in, perhaps it was easier because this girl wasn't the most attractive. It was a means to an end.

With my first girlfriend at 22 I pushed the relationship because I was lonely. We had a great time but I ended up getting rejected because I'm a nice guy and she didn't want to hurt me, blahblahlah. This was her shit and really, this led me to understand that I don't want a girl that wants to be treated like trash. By "being a nice guy" I don't mean too-proper and a puss unwilling to take risks. I mean, treating a girl with respect but being playful where appropriate. This girl went back to her ex, who was a verbally and physically abusive scumbag.

So I'm 30 now, granted my emotional growth has progressed like pitch on a cold day. That's fine cause my libido is about as lacking. Finally a girl who's right for me has come along. And I've grown to the point that I have no problem letting things go at the right pace. Yeah I want t take it to the next level, but I don't want to spoil it by rushing.

My experience is possibly waaay different than a majority of men my age. I've just accepted where I'm at and am unwilling to lower my values just to get some pussy. Cause having a meaningful relationship is more important than that.

OP, as for your fears of rejection: What do you have to lose? Eventually you'll realize that if you ever want to get anywhere you'll have to risk situations where you make a fool of yourself due to inexperience. There's no shame in being 19 and square. And I'm sure you won't be located where you are forever. Even if you make a fool of yourself and have to see this girl again, it'll do amazing things for your confidence to ignore these fears and set aside your expectations :sun:


Your post breaks of self superiority.:rolleyes: So what....just because people didn't wait until they were 30 to have sex means we sacrificed our morals and are obviously folks who could qualify to be on the Jersey shore? Or somehow we don't want a meaningful relationship? Nice try :stonedjerk: but if that's how you make yourself sleep at night....girls might be staying away from you for being a self righteous asshole.


--------------------
Lyanla:: Where was God when you put that first line of cocaine in your system ?

DMX:: ......right there :bored:

Edited by Relajarse (06/15/13 08:20 AM)

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Relajarse]
    #18427250 -

your best bet.. get a hooker.

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: chan5665]
    #18432584 -

I haven't read through most of this thread

But basically, I will say a couple things. I was personally a virgin till 17. Never kissed at that age either. not ugly, but basically lacking self confidence. I think the issue here isn't the vagina itself. It is the confidence with yourself

Try and go to parties and whatnot. your in college

Get drunk and your confidence will go up. Just talk to girls. Nothing else. Just talking will help a lot

Also, it isn't simply about working out. Work out, eat healthy, sleep properly. Meditate etc.

Unfortunately I have fallen out of it.But when I followedall my healthy habits and wasn't addicted to tobacco, my face gleamed.For the first time in my life I could look in the mirror and say "damn you are sexy!"

That boost of self confidence is what is needed I personally think. If you have acne, wash your face. Eat healthy food. BE HEALTHY

Healthy is beautiful. Rememeber that. I ended up losing my varc within months. Was an obese nerd. Became a slim toned handsome debonair

Nowdays I use too much oral tobacco and my teeth are nasty. Basically, I amwith you on this one. Trying to get better looking again

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #18436318 -

Lol, i do live a very healthy lifestyle

and I had 5 beers once and I didnt feel great, still didnt know what to talk about. And after 5 beers i felt nausea, dont think i would want to drink anymore than that

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18438395 -

Anonymous said:
Lol, i do live a very healthy lifestyle

and I had 5 beers once and I didnt feel great, still didnt know what to talk about. And after 5 beers i felt nausea, dont think i would want to drink anymore than that


Sorry to hear then :/

I personally only need 3 brews max to open up. It isnt about the drunkness, its about the openess

And women are attracted to confidence. BE CONFIDENT. THINK CONFIDENT

And posture important

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Re: Im a 19 year old kissless virgin [Re: topdog82]
    #18441724 -

topdog82 said:
Anonymous said:
Lol, i do live a very healthy lifestyle

and I had 5 beers once and I didnt feel great, still didnt know what to talk about. And after 5 beers i felt nausea, dont think i would want to drink anymore than that


Sorry to hear then :/

I personally only need 3 brews max to open up. It isnt about the drunkness, its about the openess

And women are attracted to confidence. BE CONFIDENT. THINK CONFIDENT

And posture important


Yea im trying to be more confident. Not sure about posture, i feel like there is a thin line between walking around confidently and walking around like a douchebag. Not sure how to walk that line.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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