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Ladies...would you take a guys virginity?
    #8495165 -

This is a question for the ladies. If you were with a guy that was a virgin, would you want to be told about that before you slept with him? Or would that turn you off?  Would you feel awkward knowing that you were his "first girl"?

I'm 21 years old, and i've had a few sexual encounters but i've never gone all the way. I feel like the majority of people have already had sex many times by my age and are comfortable sexually. I actually consider myself pretty comfortable, and i don't have problems approaching/talking to girls (well previously i did, but i've over came that recently). I just want to get this v-card out of the way so i dont have to feel nervous about it anymore. Once when i was with a girl, we were both semi-naked in bed, and she asked me if i was a virgin. I told her yes, and she gave me the "sex and love" speech...kinda weird. I feel like if i had said no we might have actually done it.

I guess its weird for a guy to be a virgin, but for chicks its cool. I can't think of a guy that wouldn't love to f* the crap out of a virgin. But I dunno if it works the same the other way around. Please enlighten me ladies.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8495754 -

I'm not a lady, but this is what I would say:

If you are just trying to 'get your v-card out of the way,' then find somebody who is not important to you and don't tell her beforehand.  If you do happen to find someone who is special to you, be upfront.  If it develops into a relationship you will not want to have lied like that.

:2cents:


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #8495879 -

Why not save it for someone you care about?
And yes tell her beforehand. She might actually respect you for it.


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:musicnote:Music doesn't stop at the ears when it begins at the heart.:musicnote:


:psychsplit:"Sit in reverie and watch the changing color of the waves that break upon the idle seashore of the mind."
            -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:psychsplit:

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: boxcarguy07]
    #8496620 -

interesting question, Whiskey clone's answer makes sense to me.
I'm a 20year old virgin too, so I'm curious to hear other peoples responses.


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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: SampaJasli]
    #8496688 -

I think most girls that you, at least I, would like to meet wouldn't care about virginity and it would make you seem sweet.

Any girl that would be put off by you being a virgin is one I wouldn't want to be with, personally.  I wouldn't worry about it.

That said, you don't need to bring it up if you don't want to.  I doubt she's going to ask for a list of refrences and vet you through your past partners, so chillax.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: johnm214]
    #8497295 -

johnm214 said:
I think most girls that you, at least I, would like to meet wouldn't care about virginity and it would make you seem sweet.

Any girl that would be put off by you being a virgin is one I wouldn't want to be with, personally.  I wouldn't worry about it.

That said, you don't need to bring it up if you don't want to.  I doubt she's going to ask for a list of refrences and vet you through your past partners, so chillax.


might have to bring it up after the 5 minutes is over with though. :rofl:


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The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else! ~Friedrich Nietzsche

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8497806 -

Honestly, I'd probably be suprised if a guy I was close to getting with told me he was a virgin and it might cause me to hesitate. Because I'm not the most directive person when it comes to sex I think I'd have a hard time in the teaching role, so I prefer my partners to come with a reasonable skillset already in place. I think there's also a certain amount of emotional responsiblity on the part of the virginity taker and that can be a bit intimidating. Then again, I've never been with a virgin and the likelihood that I ever will come across one is extremely slim considering I date guys at least my age or older.

Realistically though, I'm sure there are many women out there who would be stoked on the chance to show the ropes to a virgin.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8498637 -

f* the crap out of a virgin

I feel if one develops a more mature view of sex they are more comfortable with this pretty instinctual and natural act.:shrug:


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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #8499322 -

not OP here

niamhnyx - how old are you?

can you explain more about the emotional responsibility? do you think the virgin will cling to you?

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #8499679 -

I'm 23 and have tended to date guys who are 25-26. I find it hard to imagine a guy getting well into his 20's without losing his virginity unless he is somehow severely awkward and unable to communicate with women.

On that note, my roomate's 27 year old brother is a virgin and he's a nice guy, not bad looking or anything but he just won't flirt with girls. He can talk to them but he can't show interest. Apparently a friend of thiers said she'd be happy to sleep with him but he got awkward about it and turned her down.

I guess it's not fair to say that there's too much emotional responsibility when each person is clearly different. I do feel like there's more likelihood of a virgin being clingy than someone more experienced.

I think that how I felt about a partner being a virgin would depend on how he told me. If he was comfortable and matter-of-fact about it, I'd probably be fine with it, and even happy to be the one to take it. If he acted really ashamed and awkward about it I think I'd be a bit uncomfortable because that would put pressure on me. The harder someone will take rejection (at least in the early stages of dating,) the more aversion I have to them. I only like to have sex with people who aren't devastated to hear 'no.'

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #8500236 -

Hey its the OP.

Niam you pretty much bring up the points that cause me the most concern. I'm not afraid to admit i'm a virgin, and i'm perfectly comfortable sexually. Let me actually go into the story that made me ask this question in the first place.

I met this girl at the place I work at. She actually asked ME out after talking with her a couple times. So we went out for some drinks at a bar, both of us got pretty drunk...we had at least 10 drinks. I was walking her home, and we made a stop by the creek to talk for a while. We ended up making out right next to the creek for like 20 minutes...it was kinda rambunctious, we were rolling around..my shoes got all wet in the water haha. Anyway we went back to her place, continued making out for a while. I wasn't nervous at all the entire night up until this point, because obviously i was starting to wonder if this was going to be it. I thought it would be the night for me. I've been in these situations a couple times before, but it felt different this time for some reason. Once we were in bed, she got all her clothes off (this was probably my mistake), i took my shirt off and left my shorts on. I fingered/went down on her for like 10-15 minutes till she came, and after that she sort of petered out and went to sleep.  I was hoping she'd get more aggressive and we'd keep going but it just didnt work out that way. I wasn't really offended though, it was still a great night and we both had a good time. The next night i watched a movie with her at her place, but nothing much happened aside from some arm caressing and a good night kiss.

She's currently in Costa rica for 2 more weeks, but we plan to see each other once she gets back. I feel like I should tell her I'm a virgin, but I'm worried she'll feel all those things Niam was mentioning. Emotionally responsible, that she shouldn't be the one to take my virginity, that I won't be experienced enough for her, or whatever. I feel like the way we connect in our conversations though that we might actually be pretty compatible. Maybe i should just tell her so I can get the weight off my back.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8500317 -

Maybe i should just tell her so I can get the weight off my back.

Probably a good idea, imo.  If she's as rad as you make her sound...  And there is something genuine about the relationship...  A night of 'bad sex' or 'awkward sex' isn't going to matter much.  'First sex' can be fine.  I feel part of a relationship is figuring out exactly what turns your partner on through experimentation and conversation.  Openness is essential when trying to please and be pleased sexually, ime.


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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8500795 -

OP again. Was going to edit my post, but you can't if its anonymous apparently. I reread it and it sounded awkward when i said "this was probably my mistake".  What i meant there was that my mistake was probably not getting completely naked at the same time she did. I actually never fully took my clothes off...is it possible thats why we didn't end up going all the way? Maybe she could tell I was uncomfortable because i didn't get fully undressed. Looking back on the whole encounter I really feel like i missed my opportunity. I should have just gone for it and had a night of crazy drunken sex, but my nervousness got the best of me. But then again...i might have ended up just having whiskey dick.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8501650 -

Shit man...  It sounds like you carry a lot of worry.  Relax...:tongue2:


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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: backfromthedead]
    #8502048 -

Trust me.....i know. I'm trying. I sort of use the shroomery as a pressure release. Thanks for putting up with it.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8502852 -

I think people who wont put out are selfish cowards.  I think of girls and guys who are saving their vaingloriousness for the perfect person, moment, etc, well, they are full of wind. The only perfect anything is the one you create, the only love is the love you make and the only world worth a damn is where people all feel that others are equal. I'm not saying one should fuck for the proletariat, just that one shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill. Virginity is overrated.  Male and female. I could care less about virgin femmes, and as for my virginity I wanted it to be gone asap, and I lost it at fourteen with a total dog that I called up just for the purpose. It wasn't special, but it was still good.  I fucked plenty of girls that weren't 'the one' but consequantly I knew 'the one' when I finally had her.  So there.  Seeing is not believing.


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...or something






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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: eve69]
    #8503126 -

Getting completely naked is what I do.

Although last time I did this, it didn't get me laid... I actually think it made the girl somewhat intimidated because I told her she was voluptuous and shes like "that means im fat doesn't it!".  She was clearly very self-conscious about her body which sucks.. because I wanted sex and I don't give two flying fucks if she has a roll or two.

I was like hell no babe, your not fat.  You're voluptuous and it's sexy.

Well, I didn't get laid that night.

But what I usually do it just take my pants off and if I'm hard, then that allows the girl to take the next natural step.  If not, then I just start humping her or I'll take her hand and put it over my junk.  This usually works.


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Flowing through beginningless time since time without beginning...

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #8503159 -

NiamhNyx said:
I think I'd have a hard time in the teaching role, so I prefer my partners to come with a reasonable skillset already in place.


Lol there's no reason you should have to teach anything and as for the skillset comment, this is not an MMPORPG.


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Is there an indelible line between sanity and insanity? Or do they change, from one into the other, without the slightest provocation? We'll find out that the world itself is insane.

I have no fear of death, it just means dreaming in silence, a dream that lasts for eternity.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #8503571 -

Anonymous said:
OP again. Was going to edit my post, but you can't if its anonymous apparently. I reread it and it sounded awkward when i said "this was probably my mistake".  What i meant there was that my mistake was probably not getting completely naked at the same time she did. I actually never fully took my clothes off...is it possible thats why we didn't end up going all the way? Maybe she could tell I was uncomfortable because i didn't get fully undressed. Looking back on the whole encounter I really feel like i missed my opportunity. I should have just gone for it and had a night of crazy drunken sex, but my nervousness got the best of me. But then again...i might have ended up just having whiskey dick.


Nah, don't scrutinize yourself so much. But instead of making her come when you went down on her, it woulda been a good idea to get her really aroused then stop and ask if she wanted to have sex, or if she had a condom or something like that. It's always good to ask, btw.

Don't worry too much about what I said, it sounds like this girl is pretty attracted to you. Maybe she just rolled over and went to sleep because she doesn't like to fuck the first night, which is pretty reasonable. I'm the same way. If I say no the first time and they are totally respectful of it, I want them all the more the next opportunity I get.

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Re: Ladies...would you take a guys virginity? [Re: Viciousend]
    #8503677 -

Viciousend said:
NiamhNyx said:
I think I'd have a hard time in the teaching role, so I prefer my partners to come with a reasonable skillset already in place.


Lol there's no reason you should have to teach anything and as for the skillset comment, this is not an MMPORPG.


What's that supposed to mean? Pleasing women is a lot trickier than pleasing men, and there's a definite learning curve. There is a distinct difference between a skilled, conscientious lover and one who is fumbling around. Not that I'd fault a guy for fumbling around so long as he was paying enough attention to cues.

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