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Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help!
    #9792662 -

Hey Shroomers.

I'm 18, and just lost my virginity last night to a great looking girl.

It sounds good, but I feel shitty now because I couldn't get a proper erection.

It was a bit embarrassing, but I was expecting something like this to happen anyway so it was easy to laugh off.

The unfortunate part is that I haven't been able to consistently get a proper erection.. ever. I don't think the problem is physical however because there have been occasions when I've gotten rock hard boners and it felt amazing. Also, I have never had a wet dream. I masturbate daily but my penis is relatively flaccid and I have to work pretty hard to cum. I thought maybe if I had a naked girl sucking my dick it would help, but it didn't. I have lost nearly all my sexuality, my libido, my sexual ambition and it's making my life feel extremely empty.

Actually, I have never had any sexual courage. I have always felt too ashamed to try and kiss a girl or be anything more than a friend. I got my first kiss this year. I struggled past through these issues to hook up with my current girlfriend, but they are rooted pretty deep.

The first time I masturbated I was 13 after I had gone on camp and everyone was talking about it. I got so scared when I came wanted to tell my parents (I didn't).

I know this is because I have low self-esteem, or some kind of sexual guilt. Maybe I am gay, but I don't really think so. I've thought about it as honestly as I can. It's possible I suppose, but I feel nothing jacking it to guys. I believe its just how I was raised, to feel guilty about sexuality.

For example, when I'm running at the gym or working out I can't wait to have sex, but the feeling fades quickly and I am back to my lethargic self.

The lusty, horny feeling is amazing because it makes me passionate, focused and not so self-conscious. I wish that I could feel like that more often.

I work out regularly, but it's not doing the trick well enough. When my girlfriend tells me I have an amazing body it makes me feel bad because I think my body is terrible, and like it and myself are not worthy. I hate having my photo taken. These self-confidence issues sound so typically feminine, and I'm thinking that maybe I have low testosterone levels because I am also very young in appearance.

Either way, I feel entirely helpless. How can I get my self-confidence up so I can acquire some form of libido? I'm tired of feeling anxious and repressed all the time.

Help me out you older Shroomers! I'm all ears.

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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #9792678 -

Work out.  Physical exertion releases all sorts of happy things to make you feel good and look sexy.

I think I faked coming when I lost my virginity when I was 16.  Its all nerves, man.  Do it more often and it wont be so terrifying and eventually its going to be a lot of fun.

Stop masturbating daily - let your sexuality be something intimate and real rather than an impulse.

Dont look at porn.

Find a reason to live.  Be proud of yourself for having found this reason.  Devote your life to this reason.  Walk proud. 

Get laid.

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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9792689 -

Well what recreational drugs do you if any? cause many can effect your libido and erection. I take ZMA and nitric oxide supplements for working out and have noticed a increase in libido and harder erections lol but i did recently quit drinking and doing coke too.

You should check out those two supplements:thumbup:


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I am excited for my thoughts to become positive and of lifeful things instead of negative and suicidal things - Oceanshore23Forest :feelsoldman:

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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9793549 -

DO you smoke a lot of weed? Are you on any anti-depressants?


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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #9793632 -

What Cascadian said. That was my approach when I came upon a similar problem and it worked perfectly. I never really had a problem having endurance in the sack for some reason though, that may become an issue.

I think the masturbation has alot to do with it, porn numbs the sense of intimacy you get from sex, and kills your drive to find a mate, why need one when you can do it yourself?
Because it's fucking awsome. That's why.


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-=-Never Sigh For Better World
It's Already Composed
Played And Told-=-

Science gives a consistent how with an incomplete why.
Faith gives an inconsistent how with a complete why.

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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Cascadian]
    #9793745 -

Your post inspired me to delete over 20 gigs of porn that I had downloaded. A few months ago I told myself I was going to stop, so I deleted about 200 gigs, and was going good for about a week, then I downloaded more.

I need to stop! I'm going to try for real this time.


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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #9795766 -

The second chakra is located in the lower belly, and lower back. The second chakra is the center of movement, as well as the center of sex. This is why you feel a sense of "excitement" when exercising.

You feel a certain sense of anxiety when confronted with sex, and this anxiety is keeping your 2nd chakra closed. You feel this way, because you believe you might be inadequate. This is just a belief (highly unlikely there's something wrong with you) but when it affects the libido, it reinforces itself.

One thing to consider is that, just loosing your virginity, you've only had one experience in which a good boner has been required. This is like bitching because your first public performance of something didn't go well.

Second thing, I would suggest not tieing it into "sexual guilt" too much. If you have a history of that, leaving it behind is the idea, not dwelling on it. You have a block that can be left behind in an instant.

I would suggest that you spend some quiet time being aware that you have this emotional center in your lower belly (not the dick, the lower belly) about 3 inched down from the belly button. The idea is to feel relaxed there and observe, breathe deeply into the lower belly, nothing special. Is there any tension in that area when you try to relax it? If so, it's OK, what you really want to do is get acquainted with it. When you breathe in, allow that area to feel emotion. When you breathe out, allow that area to relax as much as possible and feel good.

So, the next time you're with a girl in that type of situation, make your fear known. You could maybe say "I feel a little nervous here", and put your hand on your lower belly, as if to show her, and don't be afraid to look her in the eyes to watch her reaction. This in itself, identifying the stress location to yourself and your lover, could wipe it out. If your girl is cool, she will help you. There will be a sense of empathy in her eyes, and if you're still feeling tense, that will wipe it out.

Of course, if the girl isn't cool, she might think it's "weird" or something. Whatever happens, don't take it personally. It's more a reflection of how much honesty the girl can handle than whether there's something wrong with you or not. Most likely the girl will help you. After all, her goal is to coax you into a rock hard boner. They're good like that, they just need you to tell them, to create that connection.

Either way, it's your initiative and courage to admit to this problem in such a vulnerable situation. Making yourself vulnerable, voluntarily, is what will give her the cue to be "empathetic", and to give yourself permission to relax and let it happen.


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rahz

comfort pleasure power love     truth awareness peace I am      I feel      I do     I love  I speak    I see    I know

why there is reality and patterned, law-like consistency at all, rather than noise or non-reality is not a question physics answers. It's a question physics presupposes an answer to in order to provide other answers.

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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Rahz]
    #9796088 -

I never thought i'd see the words "chakra" and "rock hard boner" in the same post".

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Re: Sexual Self-Confidence Issues. Need Help! [Re: Cascadian]
    #9796379 -

It will be almost impossible for you to get a boner!

Your mind has been blanketed with thoughts about god, life, death etc and they are more powerful than urges sexual.

Enjoy it, sex can sexual relationships are a huge burden, especially in the way that most people understand what is the best thing to feel, act and think within it!
"nothing you can say, feel or do can stop me from hating you, just like nothing could stop me from loving you before"

"welcome to the fights within these relationships

"Its all or Nothing is the predicament of love."

Its you or them - daily at times - can you handle when it gets distorted and both turn to each other and bash, insult, aggrivate until nuthing is left?

Use it, play with it, its a gift, also.

Be Fully willing to bring it into your life before you  rearrange it!


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if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...


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