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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Sexual Repression
    #4543003 - 08/16/05 04:21 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I'm posting this because this forum seems to have the right kind of people that are in tune with just all aspects of being human in general..... I don't know if I'm really looking for advice or anything just so much as wondering what people's experiences are here.

First of all, I'm a virgin. Yay. Second of all.... I haven't really had any meaningful relationships that involved any kind of contact of any sort. Third of all.... I feel, sometimes, very lonely and want to like... have someone to cuddle up with and stuff like that... and it can get me depressed, though... not right now.

So, the situation isn't that I'm not trying to meet ladies... it's just I'm not trying very hard as I'm not that confident... and the few that I have tried to set up innocent "dates" with have fallen apart. (asked one to play guitar with me, asked another to go get something to eat.... and i had TONS in common with her... so ... anyway)

The thing is... I was raised as a repressed Christian thinking sex is evil... and I still don't know what to think about it. I want to get off... I want to be accepted by a girl enough for her to want to have sex with me.... but.... I don't want it to be shallow and I think a lot of the sex that people have rampantly around universities is just ... bad... it's worse than alcoholism because you're eating up holes in other people, not just yourself.

So it's like, I'm torn because on the one hand I just really feel like I want to get some action, and that it might make me feel better... but I'm actually AFRAID of getting action because I don't know what to do... and because I think I'd feel really guilty and bummed out afterwards if it didn't mean anything for the girl.

Plus it's like no one is a fucking virgin so any girl I met would have had quite a few guys inside her already, more than likely... (1 in 4 students has an STD ...... )

I've woven myself in and out of depression (and when i was younger suicidality) because of women, and I'm starting to think these monks are on to something with their complete and total celibacy... but... I'm only human and damned if I wouldn't like a healthy relationship with lots of sex and cuddling and intimacy (and open communication, connections on deeper levels)

But... I don't know. I think that if I went out with a girl, I wouldn't make any moves and she'd just place me on the "friend ladder" because, with the last girl I was with.. she was just a complete nutjob Christian and she wouldn't even let us hold hands (usually) because "it could lead to sin" even though I'm pretty sure she was fucking lying to me and just didn't want to be with me but didn't want to tell me that. (and this was like 4 years ago)

So... I know.. just be natural, do what feels right... read her responses... use your intuition... it shouldn't be too hard, but....

It's a foreign scary market and there is no "innocence" left in kids of this age... you know, whereas I have a lot of "innocence" and things i haven't done, that I'd prefer to be special and meaningful when I do them, rather than the girl just going "what's the big deal....." because she's done those sorts of things numerous times.

I feel myself gravitating toward very young high school girls because that's where I am as a person. I'm still stuck in early high school and the model of relationships that it used..... but... each year that goes by makes such interests more and more uncooth.... theoretically I'd fit better in terms of things I have experienced with middle school girls, but thankfully I know that's out of the question.

So I'm turned on by innocence and young looks because I view college girls kind of as sluts.... not that I'm not attracted to them or anything... I am. It's just... well.

I don't know, offer me some perspectives, analyze me, whatever. I'm afraid to talk about this stuff in real life even to my counselor but I don't really care on the internet.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Invisiblemoog
Stranger

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1,296
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4543344 - 08/16/05 06:08 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I can relate to this. I'm still dealing with the same thing myself. I was raised in a very sexually repressed Catholic family. Combine that with the fact that I was very shy up through high school, and the result is that I didn't even have my first kiss until I was in college. However, college teaches you a lot about sexuality, and I learned fast.

I understand the mixed feelings you have. Part of you wants to start humping the nearest attractive girl, and part of you is totally turned off by the idea of sex for various reasons. That part of you that doesn't want sex, or has been avoiding it, you have to suppress it. I can't promise it'll ever go away... I'm 22 and I'm still weirded out by the thought of sex most of the time. So you just have to suppress that feeling if you want to get anywhere.

My advice is, find a girl that likes you and is experienced. It'll be much easier if you have an experienced partner for your first time. Don't be ashamed of being a virgin. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin. What is wrong is being embarassed of being a virgin. That leads to insecurity and chicks can sense insecure guys a mile away. Wear your virginity like a fucking badge of courage. Boast to chicks that you're a virgin, and make sure when you have a big smile on when you tell them. They'll eat that shit up with a spoon because they won't know whether you're lying or not and their curiosity will overwhelm them. Party-type chicks will want to fuck you just because you're a virgin, 'cause girls are freaky like that.

I know you're interested in a possible relationship too, but just hold off on that for now. First focus on getting laid, then go for a relationship when you have the confidence to deal with chicks.

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: moog]
    #4543463 - 08/16/05 06:35 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

but i'd want to get with a girl that would be patient with me and like, show me a lot of stuff and care about me on a significant level....

i wouldn't want just a random lay :frown:

I don't know. Being an animal sucks.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Offlinedivinityinfinity
Hot LittleMuffin

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 176
Last seen: 15 years, 4 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4544179 - 08/16/05 09:46 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

you need to wait until you find someone you care about, otherwise, you will regret it and feel empty and shallow

even if you arent christian, ive felt terribly before for sleeping with people i didnt care about in the slightest.

however once you care for someone enough to share yourself with, you also cant be hung up on things like 1 in four kids have STDs. You need to be calm, safe, and loving and you will have an absolutley wonderful (if not a little awkward of course) experience.

dont wait till marriage for sex though, thats ridiculous. You need to know what true intimacy is before you engage in the deepest form of it, marriage.

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: divinityinfinity]
    #4544224 - 08/16/05 09:56 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Your sex drive is something that should bring you joy in your life, not anxiety.

Look. In order to get over what your christian upbringing did, you need to spend some serious time examining your feelings for those people who 'just have sex' in college. What you will find is that many of them are just honestly reacting to the same needs you are struggling with. If you realize this, you will find it easier to have compassion for these people. By extending compassion to these people, you will release the pattern of self-hate you are forcing on yourself for your upbringing.

A random lay is exactly what you need. You have so many emotions and expectations tied up in this first time, you need to consciously put those away, let go of them, and just have your first time. It's really not that big a deal. Use a condom, be safe. You'll wake up the next day, and all the sudden, it's not nearly such a big deal.

Why would you think it sucks to have a sex drive? You need to learn it's good to have a sex drive.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

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Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,654
. [Re: tomk]
    #4544259 - 08/16/05 10:04 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

.

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OfflineDivided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings

Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: dr_gonz]
    #4544581 - 08/16/05 11:14 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I'm totally on the same page as you. Myself, (at the risk of sounding self absorbed I will talk about my own experience) I think now I don't really feel guilty about sexual tendancies, but it is something that kind of makes me nervous. Like a venture into the unknown or some frightening vulnerbility. I think the hardest thing is that unlike alot of other people I have trouble expressing myself sexually as a sexual being and that sort of puts me out of the arena. It's something that just doesn't come naturally, so everything feels ackward and it's hard to know what to do. You feel like crap when it's like everybody got it years ago except you and now you are left behind and clueless.

Being in more or less the same boat my advice would be that the best idea is probobly to form a relationship with somebody you care about and that way you can feel more comfortable about being intimate, worry less about inexperience, and feel satisfaction on an emotional level as well. It's easier said then done esp. when you hardly ever get out and are locked away at your job all day every day. Have fun being in college.


--------------------
1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Divided_Sky]
    #4544777 - 08/16/05 11:55 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Well forming a relationship is a whole new can of worms there... but I'm glad I'm not the only one. I wonder if maybe this has some correlation to our drug use..... spend less time sexing, spend more time exploring your mind?

Well... it's just discouraging to try and get something off the ground with a girl and to just kind of be ignored. My record is 3 for 3. (failures)

That's not very many, I know.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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OfflineDivided_Sky
Ten ThousandThings

Registered: 11/02/03
Posts: 3,171
Loc: The Shining Void
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4544821 - 08/17/05 12:02 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Sometimes i wonder if all my spiritual and existentail searching are really in attempt to fill a simpler need. I don't know.

With relationships, it seems to me that it's something that happens over a long time, what you got to do is to get close with alot of people and surround yourself with members of the opposite sex and maybe it will just fall into place and then you will have more security to explore
.


--------------------
1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: tomk]
    #4546275 - 08/17/05 10:16 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

tomk said:
Your sex drive is something that should bring you joy in your life, not anxiety.

Look.  In order to get over what your christian upbringing did, you need to spend some serious time examining your feelings for those people who 'just have sex' in college.  What you will find is that many of them are just honestly reacting to the same needs you are struggling with.  If you realize this, you will find it easier to have compassion for these people.  By extending compassion to these people, you will release the pattern of self-hate you are forcing on yourself for your upbringing. 

A random lay is exactly what you need.  You have so many emotions and expectations tied up in this first time, you need to consciously put those away, let go of them, and just have your first time.  It's really not that big a deal.  Use a condom, be safe.  You'll wake up the next day, and all the sudden, it's not nearly such a big deal.

Why would you think it sucks to have a sex drive?  You need to learn it's good to have a sex drive.




Awsome perspective, as usual. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Divided_Sky]
    #4546432 - 08/17/05 11:15 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Divided_Sky said:
I'm totally on the same page as you.

I don't really feel guilty about sexual tendancies, but it is something that kind of makes me nervous. Like a venture into the unknown or some frightening vulnerbility. I think the hardest thing is that unlike alot of other people I have trouble expressing myself sexually as a sexual being and that sort of puts me out of the arena. It's something that just doesn't come naturally, so everything feels ackward and it's hard to know what to do. You feel like crap when it's like everybody got it years ago except you and now you are left behind and clueless.





Shit...there are babes all over the CDA.  And, some of them might even be of legal age!  :lol:

If you are unable to make things happen with your own personality then get a sports car and start doing coke.  That seems to work for some guys.

You gotta start macking.  Although, let me admit that I am usually incredibly shy and terrible with the opposite sex.  Do as I say, don't do as I do.

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InvisibleVeritas
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4546558 - 08/17/05 12:01 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

OK, I'll start out by clarifying that I am female, sexually active, raised by a Catholic-turned-hippie mother, and have recently started practicing and experiencing sacred sexuality through Tantra.

That said, IMO there is no need to comparmentalize your desire for sex from your desire for connection, or from your spirituality.
Additionally, having an innocent spirit in sex and relationships does not need to stem from inexperience.  IOW, the experienced girls you meet may be able to regain an innocence about sexual expression through loving intimacy with a partner (you?) who wishes to make a deeper connection.

Quote:

leery11 said:
First of all, I'm a virgin. Yay. Second of all.... I haven't really had any meaningful relationships that involved any kind of contact of any sort. Third of all.... I feel, sometimes, very lonely and want to like... have someone to cuddle up with and stuff like that... and it can get me depressed, though... not right now.




Before you concern yourself with "losing" your virginity, I would recommend initiating some physical contact with friends.  It doesn't need to be over-the-top, just simple touches on the shoulder.  This contact with other human beings is essential to your well-being.  Feelings of depression are normal for human beings who are touch-deprived.  When I was single & not dating for over a year, I found that offering to scratch or rub people's backs was a great way to maintain contact.  It is even better if you have friends whom you regularly hug by way of greeting.  Even a quick 30 second embrace will improve your mood & combat those feelings of loneliness.

In my experience, allowing yourself to remain touch-deprived for long periods of time creates a feeling of desperation to get back into a relationship.  This left me vulnerable to men who wanted to use me.  Of course, I was using them, too, but for different reasons.

Quote:

The thing is... I was raised as a repressed Christian thinking sex is evil... and I still don't know what to think about it. I want to get off... I want to be accepted by a girl enough for her to want to have sex with me.... but.... I don't want it to be shallow and I think a lot of the sex that people have rampantly around universities is just ... bad... it's worse than alcoholism because you're eating up holes in other people, not just yourself.




I agree that gratuitous sex is emotionally toxic.  When you are engaging in intimate contact with someone without a heart connection, it creates a sense of self-betrayal and loss.  This is not to say that you must be deeply in love in order to have sex with a heart connection.  But if you truly have no concern for your partner's humanity, no empathy for their experience, then sex is likely to be an empty experience.

As to whether sex is "evil," I think you might enjoy reading what Tantra has to say about the place of sexual intimacy in our spiritual life.  I had always thought there must be something more to sex.  How could it be so amazing, yet still feel as though it fell short of what it could be?  For me, the answer was found through engaging my spiritual energy in the sexual feelings.  There is far too much to this for me to convey here.  Feel free to PM me if you are interested in hearing about Tantra.  I can recommend some excellent books.

Quote:

I've woven myself in and out of depression (and when i was younger suicidality) because of women, and I'm starting to think these monks are on to something with their complete and total celibacy... but... I'm only human and damned if I wouldn't like a healthy relationship with lots of sex and cuddling and intimacy (and open communication, connections on deeper levels)




I feel it is important to clarify that your depression was not originated by women, but by your reactions to women.  The difference here is that you can change your reactions, and alter your experience of women and relationships.  If the feelings in you were controlled by others, then you would not be able to alter your experience without their assistance.

Yes, it is very human to desire an intimate relationship.  IMO it is one of the most fulfilling experiences we can have as physical/spiritual beings.  I believe that you can have the connection you desire, and that even the relationships which may fall short of "perfect" will help you learn what is needed for a spiritual partnership.  Sometimes experiencing what doesn't work is the best way to learn!  :wink:

I wish you the best, and am glad to talk anytime.

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Veritas]
    #4546616 - 08/17/05 12:28 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Veritas said:

Before you concern yourself with "losing" your virginity, I would recommend initiating some physical contact with friends.  It doesn't need to be over-the-top, just simple touches on the shoulder.



that would be gay. Women really have it easy here. They can do things that would make men look like raging homosexuals while still being straight. They hug,touch, cuddle, it's fine. If you see guys doing that the next thing you might see is some piece of shit attacking them (verbally probably) for being "fags". While this is stupid, it's the way EVERYONE seems to feel, it's the way I feel, and I wouldn't at all be comfortable doing that to guy friends unless I was drunk and I just like patted them on the shoulder because they did something cool.

I don't really have single female friends that would be "cool" with that.... I have one that would occasionally do something minimal like give me shoulder rubs or something, but she has a BF and I never hang out with her alone, only with her BF (who is a long time friend of mine). 
Quote:


This contact with other human beings is essential to your well-being.  Feelings of depression are normal for human beings who are touch-deprived.



I'm pretty sure this is true... :frown: but what can I do about it until I meet new people?

Quote:


As to whether sex is "evil," I think you might enjoy reading what Tantra has to say about the place of sexual intimacy in our spiritual life.  I had always thought there must be something more to sex.  How could it be so amazing, yet still feel as though it fell short of what it could be?  For me, the answer was found through engaging my spiritual energy in the sexual feelings.  There is far too much to this for me to convey here.  Feel free to PM me if you are interested in hearing about Tantra.  I can recommend some excellent books.



i'm very interested in "tantric sex" and it sounds wonderfully, especially after smoking back a bowl to gather in extreme "energy raising" (that's what pot does to me) ... but of course, it's going to be a hard task to find a girl that will have sex with me and wouldn't think the idea of tantra is stupid (they're 75% christian out here, i made a diagram from searching once, i think 75% is pretty accurate). This is why I'm trying to fall in to the hippy crowd, though I'm still in limbo.

Thanks for the help though. I appreciate it (and that goes to everyone)

What I don't get is just about every dream I have lately there will be a "girlfriend" character that I somehow "know" and feel natural towards.... though usually the plots of the dreams force me away from her [going on a weed summong frenzy and irritating the hell out of cops..... fighting nazis.....] so yeah, I can understand the symbolism here, like.... parts of my life that I obsess over are held more important than human relationships..... but.... it's odd just how natural it is for these people I don't even know to show up in my dreams and to act like we have an established relationship.

Maybe it's some form of therapy to keep me sane minded.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (08/17/05 12:29 PM)

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4546670 - 08/17/05 12:43 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

that would be gay.




If this is true where you live, be sure to move to a more liberal place as soon as possible. I live on the west coast and touching between men is totally acceptable in my crowd without it being construed as gay. You have to work at it here  to be seen as gay. :grin:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisibleVeritas
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4546684 - 08/17/05 12:47 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I agree. Conservatism and homophobia are hazardous to your emotional health. Only robots and future politicians survive that kind of repressive atmosphere.

*I previously posted the following at S&P*

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/4272352/page//fpart/1/vc/1

Edited by Veritas (08/17/05 02:22 PM)

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OfflineAvatarofAtavism
Stranger

Registered: 07/14/05
Posts: 153
Loc: canada
Last seen: 18 years, 4 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Veritas]
    #4547616 - 08/17/05 05:09 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

If this takes place in any form within me it's more of a social repression in general, it just becomes more obvious with sex than with other things.

Does it all come down to fear of rejection? Sure does. It doesn't help that my life seems scripted. As if there are actors playing out roles in my life. This idea has become so menacing to me that I start seeing secret cults of mockery in even the kindest things. It would be easy to see drugs as a point of focus for this, but I can recal incidences of these thoughts from long ago, of equal power, in highschool and earlier.

I've been trying to actualy pull these fears into a story, which unfortunatly I don't get time to work on very often.

Sorry to sort of divert the theme of this thread, my sexual disfunctions (whatever they may, or may not be) derive from outside of any concept of evil. But at the same time, I suppose repression is a good characterisation.


--------------------
Do not despair, said the mystery. You will always have a friend in me. Untill the day you break my code. Then I will be gone, and you are free...
to manifest another.

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: AvatarofAtavism]
    #4548138 - 08/17/05 06:54 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I've never seen myself as an actor but I can clearly see how I have no to only moderate free will (most people HATE accepting they have no free will, so let me say that "karma" plays out my reactions based upon my previous reactions and everything i am is just the culmination of forces beyond my control starting at a birth that as far as i know i was not able to select)

and i see others as being trapped in permanent "acts" via social conformity and the illusion that they are in fact "free"

I don't really want to write about it because if you don't know what I mean already it'd be too hard to explain, and most people don't want to listen to it... but I'm not a firm believer in free will, and "karma" can explain why to those who are interested.

-----------

anyway... I just see so many gorgeous girls every-day.... how would they react if you like sat down next to them while they were eating and said "hi" ? My friend says they'd be creeped out... and that's how I think they would be.... but I haven't really tried it more than once.... I just can't meet new people very easily, and I worry that when I try to I come off as a weird reclusive stalker.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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OfflineColdNewWorld
LovePirateLostOnTheSea
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 36
Last seen: 18 years, 6 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4548279 - 08/17/05 07:22 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

You guys just fucking forget about anything preconceived. It sounds hard, it is hard, but try. Just let it happen, dont rush it and it will be beautiful. Dont worry about it, it will happen when its ready.
Youre all over the place. " I want to have sex" "Im scared I might feel bad afterwards."
Dont make it such a focus, its just a natural thing, just let it happen when youre in love the way it was meant to be

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Offlinediabla
THE DAY ISCOMING

Registered: 06/28/05
Posts: 412
Loc: east coast
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: ColdNewWorld]
    #4551120 - 08/18/05 10:26 AM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

ColdNewWorld said:
You guys just fucking forget about anything preconceived. It sounds hard, it is hard, but try. Just let it happen, dont rush it and it will be beautiful. Dont worry about it, it will happen when its ready.
Youre all over the place. " I want to have sex" "Im scared I might feel bad afterwards."
Dont make it such a focus, its just a natural thing, just let it happen when youre in love the way it was meant to be




werd :thumbup:


--------------------


"..the thing is, people are getting hurt and the one thing the meteor shower didn't grace this town with was a superhero. So, in his absense, you're left with me. One girl, on a mission, determined to leave no rock - especially those from outerspace - unturned. My name is Chloe Sullivan, and I'm here to bring you the truth."

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: diabla]
    #4551844 - 08/18/05 02:05 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah but how do you do that when you're not high or drunk?

I get caught in ego traps of self-consciousness... I mean I know that you just work on it gradually at a time and it gets progressively better.... and you just don't "think things through" you just follow suit naturally. But... it's still pretty difficult when you don't have much experience.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4552243 - 08/18/05 03:42 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Leery11, this will all turn out all right. Listen to me. I made it out and I was totally sexually repressed. If I made it you will too. This will all turn out all right. It will take some time, you will be depressed about it, some shadows may remain, but this will all turn out all right. You're a good guy and that will win out in the end. It will be all right. Keep the faith. Learn to love yourself as you are now. When you begin to accept yourself and start even a little to love yourself like you are now. Things will begin to shift for you. :thumbup: :heart: :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Invisibleredtailedhawk
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4552476 - 08/18/05 04:51 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Icelander man, you should be a therapist.  :biggrin:


--------------------

"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."

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Offlinetomk
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #4552707 - 08/18/05 06:06 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

:lol:

Icelander a therapist.  I can see it now.  Some guy with bipolar disorder and psychosis comes into his office with a knife, wearing a cat who's entrails he scooped out for a hat, singing "I am the Walrus." and looking around for library agents working with the CIA and the icelandic national gaurd to hunt him down for his ability to communicate telepathically with frogs, and icelander going "What you need to do is learn to love yourself right now as you are."

:rofl2:

I like icelander, but I don't really think he should be a therapist.  Maybe a sex therapist.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: tomk]
    #4552895 - 08/18/05 06:53 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

:rofl2: He does need to love himself as he is. We can work on it while I have him in a headlock.

Tomk, just because I advocate loving oneself as is. I don't advocate acting out dark impulses.

Glad to know you like me. I like you too. I think you would make an excellent therapist. I may have mentioned this before.

Thanks Redtailedhawk. That means alot comming from you. For now it's self therapy though. Using lots of  :mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2: :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (08/18/05 06:55 PM)

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Offlineleery11
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4552987 - 08/18/05 07:15 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

I agree loving myself is critical... i usually only love myself when i'm on drugs (this does not mean i don't un-love myself sober) [which i'm about to be if hbwr can really be taken sublingually]... i just stare into the mirror and talk to myself... and such.

but anyway... I think once school starts I'll just have to like, position myself next to some nice looking girls in my class and maybe say a "hi" .... but "hi" is about all I've figured out how to say as I'm not a small-talk person.... so... there's nothing legitimate to say really....

any tips on that?


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (08/18/05 07:16 PM)

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4553043 - 08/18/05 07:25 PM (18 years, 7 months ago)

Psychedelics did that for me also. Use them wisely and they can help you and guide you all along the way.

Tips. Well I'm of the mind that says if you want to find a girl who will be real then be real yourself. You need to be prepared for the ones who aren't being real to reject you. Just remember this. The whole truth is that they are more scared than you are. They may never feel safe enough to be real and you being real will frighten them. When humans are frightened they often attack. Try not to take them personally.

So if you are nervous around some girl you fancy. Just say it if you can. "look, im kinda shy and nervous here, but I really like you and want to get to know you". any variation on that. Be real and be friendly. It's ok to be nervous and scared. I wish someone had told me this back then. You may find better lines and better advice from others. I'm still shy as hell around pretty girls. But I've had a few now and I know how to handle my fear somewhat. My current partner (Veritas) came after me. We were friends for quite awhile before we hooked up as lovers.  :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
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Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4553721 - 08/18/05 10:13 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

mannnnn

i feel the acid love.

it feels so pure and.... just super nice.

but i don't have anyone to give it to.

I know that I shouldn't live my life alone.... that

these great moments should be shared.

i am incomplete ..... when i'm not like this.

i'm incomplete..... when i live my life... not enjoying living life.

but what do i do?

just try i guess?

I don't know.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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OfflineWeAreAllOne
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Registered: 06/25/05
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4554649 - 08/19/05 07:13 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

That summary you just gave sums up my life perfectly as well.

The only different thing is that I am not a "repressed Christian."

I'm just a fucking loser.  Whatever.  I don't care.

:thumbup:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4554806 - 08/19/05 09:06 AM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:
mannnnn

i feel the acid love.

it feels so pure and.... just super nice.

but i don't have anyone to give it to.

I know that I shouldn't live my life alone.... that

these great moments should be shared.

i am incomplete ..... when i'm not like this.

i'm incomplete..... when i live my life... not enjoying living life.

but what do i do?

just try i guess?

I don't know.





mannnnn, I hear ya. :grin: But I don't agree. :wink: You are complete. You just don't know it yet. Right now you need to discover this by loving others. That's cool, :thumbup: and what is happening to you in your life is exactally what needs to be happening for your growth.  :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlinecraz3d
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4555984 - 08/19/05 04:05 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Until a few months ago I was having the same problem - wanting to cuddle with someone, spend time with a girl to relieve loneliness, etc. However I really had no excuses such as being raised in a sexual repressing family.

Right now it's progressing towards the better, though like you, I can't really get into a more intense relationship with any girl that I like, sometimes just because I was too afraid to tell her the truth, or sometimes when I would tell a girl that I wanted to get to know her she would just seem indifferent to it.

Contrary to most people's opinions here, I think it would be easier to talk to and have sex with a girl you didn't know. If she's been a longtime friend of yours it's not easy to just all of a sudden confess your undying love for her, etc...

Anyways how you can fix this. Realize that there are a lot more guys and girls in the same boat as you (such as myself), it's better to know that you aren't the only one. I'm no psychologist or expert so that's all I can give you. I saw a lot of excellent responses before mine so listen to them.

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4556115 - 08/19/05 04:57 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

WeAreAllOne said:
That summary you just gave sums up my life perfectly as well.

The only different thing is that I am not a "repressed Christian."

I'm just a fucking loser.  Whatever.  I don't care.


:thumbup:




Of course you care. Otherwise you wouldn't be calling yourself a loser. Which you are not. :mushroom2:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineWeAreAllOne
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4556831 - 08/19/05 09:07 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

You're right.  I do care.  I wish I didn't, but I do.

I'm working on it though.  Been spending time with a very

special girl.  Can't remember being this happy in a long

time.  :grin:

:heart: :thumbup:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4556851 - 08/19/05 09:14 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Sweet. :thumbup: Lovin is good for you. :smile:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4564036 - 08/21/05 07:25 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

well i'm back in the normal world tomorrow, i guess i can try sitting next to some fine chicks during classes.....


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4564226 - 08/21/05 08:04 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

I found my partner when I quit looking for her. She is the most amazing person I ever met. And that you are, Veritas. :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4564231 - 08/21/05 08:06 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

stopping looking means giving up all hope of ever finding anyone.

at least that's what it means to me.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4564267 - 08/21/05 08:18 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

You might be surprised to find out the more intense the need the farther away the prise.

You can be open to every opportunity that comes up. Just don't worry or push the river. If you are relaxed about where you are the ladies will notice it.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4566420 - 08/22/05 12:26 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

what am i supposed to do when no one ever talks to me though?

what am i supposed to say? how do i tell how a girl feels about me? I've been conditioned to feel like a stalker that no one finds interest in.....


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleRandalFlagg
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4566517 - 08/22/05 01:14 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:
what am i supposed to do when no one ever talks to me though?

what am i supposed to say? how do i tell how a girl feels about me? I've been conditioned to feel like a stalker that no one finds interest in.....




When in doubt, whip it out.

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Offlineleery11
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4566620 - 08/22/05 01:55 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

the cops don't like that ....

well, some of them do.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4567528 - 08/22/05 06:25 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:
what am i supposed to do when no one ever talks to me though?

what am i supposed to say? how do i tell how a girl feels about me? I've been conditioned to feel like a stalker that no one finds interest in.....




Talk to them first. Go see the movie American Beauty. Anyway, I know it isn't easy, remember I went through this too. Just try to do a little bit at a time. And remember to appreciate your effort. Be your own best friend first. Once you get that down, and I mean this, the rest is easy.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4567546 - 08/22/05 06:30 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

IMO the most important thing you can do to improve your chances of finding the right person is to work on yourself.  The more love and attention you give yourself, the more time you spend truly getting to know who you are and what you value in life, the less desperate you will be to find someone to "fill you up."  You can fill yourself up, and recognize that it is FOR CERTAIN better to be alone than it is to give yourself up in order to stay in a relationship.

The better you care for yourself, the more magnetic you become to others who also value caring for themselves.  The more you are centered in healthy self-love and self-esteem, the less tolerance you will have for any kind of use or abuse by others.

I think this is what Icelander meant by "stop looking."  :grin:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Veritas]
    #4567633 - 08/22/05 06:48 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlinetomk
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4567753 - 08/22/05 07:13 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Veratis sure expounds on that point well.

Icelander, not so clear.  :shrug:  But it's right.

Also, it really helps to deal with sexual repression to get a really healthy sense of how ridiculous or funny all sex is.  If you can laugh at it, it is much better.  Think of how gooy and drippy any of it is, and how stupid it makes people behave, and then laugh.  Who cares if you're doing it missionary style as a virgin with a virgin you just married in the name of jesus with your baptist preacher standing over the bed reading the forbidden psalms verses to turn you on, like the republicans want, or just dressing like teletubbies and buttfucking (like the republicans do...), it's all just a ridiculous good time that can't be taken to seriously.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: tomk]
    #4567894 - 08/22/05 07:47 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander, not so clear.




Always. :grin:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
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Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4572684 - 08/23/05 08:53 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

things seem to be working better.... and i feel like i'm more in tune with my surroundings and better able to talk to people.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Offlineleery11
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Registered: 06/24/05
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Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4683860 - 09/19/05 08:38 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

bump...

this stuff gets depressing sometimes. I just don't really know what to do. I've been sitting next to this girl regularly and we've talked a tiny bit... but I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend and even if she didn't she's not really that smart (failed our quiz due to not paying attention .... to a subject i'm interested in) or into the kind of music I am.

still.... you know you're fucked up when you are sitting there and you start feeling anxious because she hasn't showed up to class yet, then some guy comes in acting like he's going to sit in her spot and you think to yourself "no, go away!" and then you're like "why the hell would i think that? This isn't healthy for me to be minorly attached to someone I don't even know at all" .....

there's some sort of deep pain in me that creeps out now and again and i don't know what cuases it, or what it signifies, but i've come to label it as a pain stemming from lack of contact with the opposite sex...

but WOULD HAVING THAT CONTACT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN? or is the pain from something else?

:frown:


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4684086 - 09/19/05 09:15 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I think yes. Contact will help answer your question, where is the pain coming from. Having us tell you what we think most likely won't help much; you need to  have the experiences to find out your own answers.

Go for it and report back. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4684229 - 09/19/05 09:45 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

go for what?

I was in yoga one day and I was super exhausted but relaxed, and we had just come into a resting pose and i took this enormous deep breath in complete unison with a girl next to me.... at the same exact time we both experienced the same exact thing.....and it was the most amazing feeling in the world, for that breath we were both connected in that state of relaxation...

that's what I "need" from life... it made me cry and it was really amazing... i felt so high after that for 20-30 minutes.....

but I haven't had anything like that happen since then.... so.....


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (09/19/05 09:46 PM)

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InvisibleIcelander
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Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4684604 - 09/19/05 10:54 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

go for what?





Contact, take a risk and get involved with someone. Take a chance. If you want to know if that will help you, how else will you know. You have to try.
Quote:

WOULD HAVING THAT CONTACT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN? or is the pain from something else?






--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (09/19/05 10:55 PM)

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