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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4567528 - 08/22/05 06:25 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

leery11 said:
what am i supposed to do when no one ever talks to me though?

what am i supposed to say? how do i tell how a girl feels about me? I've been conditioned to feel like a stalker that no one finds interest in.....




Talk to them first. Go see the movie American Beauty. Anyway, I know it isn't easy, remember I went through this too. Just try to do a little bit at a time. And remember to appreciate your effort. Be your own best friend first. Once you get that down, and I mean this, the rest is easy.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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InvisibleVeritas
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4567546 - 08/22/05 06:30 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

IMO the most important thing you can do to improve your chances of finding the right person is to work on yourself.  The more love and attention you give yourself, the more time you spend truly getting to know who you are and what you value in life, the less desperate you will be to find someone to "fill you up."  You can fill yourself up, and recognize that it is FOR CERTAIN better to be alone than it is to give yourself up in order to stay in a relationship.

The better you care for yourself, the more magnetic you become to others who also value caring for themselves.  The more you are centered in healthy self-love and self-esteem, the less tolerance you will have for any kind of use or abuse by others.

I think this is what Icelander meant by "stop looking."  :grin:

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Veritas]
    #4567633 - 08/22/05 06:48 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlinetomk
King of OTD

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1,559
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4567753 - 08/22/05 07:13 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Veratis sure expounds on that point well.

Icelander, not so clear.  :shrug:  But it's right.

Also, it really helps to deal with sexual repression to get a really healthy sense of how ridiculous or funny all sex is.  If you can laugh at it, it is much better.  Think of how gooy and drippy any of it is, and how stupid it makes people behave, and then laugh.  Who cares if you're doing it missionary style as a virgin with a virgin you just married in the name of jesus with your baptist preacher standing over the bed reading the forbidden psalms verses to turn you on, like the republicans want, or just dressing like teletubbies and buttfucking (like the republicans do...), it's all just a ridiculous good time that can't be taken to seriously.


--------------------
"I am eternally free"

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: tomk]
    #4567894 - 08/22/05 07:47 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Icelander, not so clear.




Always. :grin:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4572684 - 08/23/05 08:53 PM (18 years, 6 months ago)

things seem to be working better.... and i feel like i'm more in tune with my surroundings and better able to talk to people.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4683860 - 09/19/05 08:38 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

bump...

this stuff gets depressing sometimes. I just don't really know what to do. I've been sitting next to this girl regularly and we've talked a tiny bit... but I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend and even if she didn't she's not really that smart (failed our quiz due to not paying attention .... to a subject i'm interested in) or into the kind of music I am.

still.... you know you're fucked up when you are sitting there and you start feeling anxious because she hasn't showed up to class yet, then some guy comes in acting like he's going to sit in her spot and you think to yourself "no, go away!" and then you're like "why the hell would i think that? This isn't healthy for me to be minorly attached to someone I don't even know at all" .....

there's some sort of deep pain in me that creeps out now and again and i don't know what cuases it, or what it signifies, but i've come to label it as a pain stemming from lack of contact with the opposite sex...

but WOULD HAVING THAT CONTACT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN? or is the pain from something else?

:frown:


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4684086 - 09/19/05 09:15 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

I think yes. Contact will help answer your question, where is the pain coming from. Having us tell you what we think most likely won't help much; you need to  have the experiences to find out your own answers.

Go for it and report back. :thumbup: :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Offlineleery11
I Tell You What!

Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 5,998
Last seen: 8 years, 11 months
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: Icelander]
    #4684229 - 09/19/05 09:45 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

go for what?

I was in yoga one day and I was super exhausted but relaxed, and we had just come into a resting pose and i took this enormous deep breath in complete unison with a girl next to me.... at the same exact time we both experienced the same exact thing.....and it was the most amazing feeling in the world, for that breath we were both connected in that state of relaxation...

that's what I "need" from life... it made me cry and it was really amazing... i felt so high after that for 20-30 minutes.....

but I haven't had anything like that happen since then.... so.....


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (09/19/05 09:46 PM)

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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male

Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: Sexual Repression [Re: leery11]
    #4684604 - 09/19/05 10:54 PM (18 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

go for what?





Contact, take a risk and get involved with someone. Take a chance. If you want to know if that will help you, how else will you know. You have to try.
Quote:

WOULD HAVING THAT CONTACT ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR ME IN THE LONG RUN? or is the pain from something else?






--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (09/19/05 10:55 PM)

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