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Im such a pussy...
    #10485694 -

Seriously, I dont know whats wrong with me. I was hanging out with my 2 friends and these two other girls who I never really talked to. The one... Man, we are seriously exactly like each other. We are both vegetarians, both considered "hippies" by our peers, and... our personalities basically complement each other. Thing is, shes pretty attractive, and im not... Well, I guess I am kinda, just I dont take care of myself and dont care what I look like... (tonight was flipflops, big plaid pants, and a Let It Be shirt). I also didnt shave and had pen marks all over my arm...

Thing is, we were driving together, just us two, and we just talked, and we both want the same thing out of a relationship, but I just couldnt say anything. Im a naturally tripped out person, and human interaction isnt really my thing, but we defiently had a connection. Now im home, and continuously hating myself. I have terrible knots in my stomach, and even typing the SH in shroomery into the address bar made me sad because its the first letters in her last name... God I sound so pathetic... I know, I am.

She was dropping hints (at least I think, Im terrible with the opposite sex) but I couldnt say anything.

Also, one of my best friends (college roommate) is seriously madly in love with her, confessed his love to her three times. I just dont know what to do. I really am not expecting any good advice, I just needed a place to express my feelings...

This is probably the last time ill ever see her again (different colleges), and we never really talked in school much, but... I dont know, it just rips my heart out...

Thats it, flame away...

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485755 -

You gotta respect yourself first and foremost man.

If you can't do that you can't ever fully love someone else, because then your always looking at receiving love rather than giving it.

Every person has their own vibe. You just need to learn what yours is and get comfortable with it. :super:

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #10485800 -

The thing is I know my vibe. Im a totally solitary person, 99% of the time I LOVE myself, I dont care what other people think about me, how I dress, how I act, what drugs I use, ect.

Thats a double edged sword though. The level of not caring about what others think has went so far to being I dont care of ANY feelings toward me, either being hateful or love. Like I get warm and fuzzy when I do something nice or someone gives me a complement, but its never deeper than that.

It could just be she likes my vibe though, the "who gives a fuck" attitude. I just always never wanted someone else in my life that is not perfect, like I couldnt just go out every night and bang random girls, I would rather have a longtime companion than that, which also kind of sucks. I know its only a person and theres 6 billion more out there, but this is seriously the first time ive felt a connection SO FAST, and its kind of overwhelming.

Another reason I dont pursue this is because shes friends with most of my friends, and I always think of the depressing rejection and me retreating like a turtle into my shell, never to be seen again...

Maybe ill wallow in massive amounts of psychedelics to see what I should do... What a shitty time to have lots of mushrooms and HBWR seeds, but barely (not even a bowl, and thats nothing with my tolerance) any ganja...

Darn it...

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485801 -

dont feel bad, I get so fuckin nervous and anxiety attacks when women talk to me. my heart starts pounding and i get all twichy. i remind my self of that episode of family guy where peter talks about the first girl he asked, or liked. hes all asking her to the dance(i think it was) and twiches so bad he launches her into the lockers.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10485808 -

See im not like that. We were just BSing in a car (all 5 of us) about the perfect person (just from our school), combining personality, face, and body, and I was the personality, which was weird since this is the first time weve said more than 5 words to each other, and she kept saying "man, we should hang out with you more often" and "wow, you are so nice and sensitive, youre a good kid", but hearing that just made me feel ankward and I just started staring out at the sky, pretending not to listen.

I feel im throwing off the vibe that Im not interested, when in reality I really am... Gah I hate this...

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485809 -

I know what you mean man.

I just got a hair cut and the lady made it too short, now everybody can see all the fucking cowlicks. I can't fucking take this shit.

Wait, that was years ago :rofl:

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #10485824 -

See, that shit doesnt bother me. I have a permanent one side of my hair flat and the other side curly thing going on, I dont know why, maybe I sleep on it, but no amount of showers or shampoo can fix it, but I dont give a fuck.

I literally care NOTHING about what people think of me, and it sucks. I cant change that, since usually it is better than actually caring...

But its a happy not caring, like if someone doesnt like me than I realize that they are missing out on talking to an awesome person with an awesome personality.

Also, im kind of shy to people. Heck, every girlfriend ive ever had came on to me and initiated everything. Im the kind of person who never talks to you, but youre in love with me after hanging out a few times with people.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485830 -

next time just be gent. say thanks and thats it. shell either still like your, or be cool with it. ive ben in that situation many times. its easier to be polite then to have one akward fuckin moment. ive had both, some akward and some went all right just because i was being nice to the person.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #10485850 -

Be gent? What?

It was never awkward when we were just talking. Maybe I just dont like getting complements... Im a very humble person.

Kind of like Batman...

Alas, The Dark Knight and I are destined to live alone, in solitude...

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485895 -

hang out with her and smoke some weed always works for me

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485906 -

a gent. a gentlmen. have manners, talk politely. im that way with females no matter what, no matter how nervous i get. its me fubling my words that fuck me over. lol, i know what you mean. I live solitare as well. I have contact with about 1 or 2 people in  a weeks period, unless I have to go to the store etc. even then I dont talk to anyone unless they talk back. I seem to do well alone.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #10485930 -

Thats one hippie stereotype she doesnt follow.

I could smoke some, Im extremely well versed in being high in public...

Actually, I get asked if I am high more often when im not than when I am. Im also more lucid, but I feel a sudden rush of emotions of talking to her might be too much.

Gah I hate personal feelings when theyre sad. Ive been sitting on the toilet since I posted this thread, just feeling my insides tumble...

I also believe in a "date" situation with the two of us, I would be awkward, as im super satisfied just sitting in silence by myself or with other people, just looking at scenery or thinking...

What am I thinking, shes way out of my league... Im giving up on her. Just summer love, it will pass...

I hope...

Ahh, I get the gentleman thing... The thing is, I kinda am. I unintentionally held the door open for her, just because im used to doing it for everyone. I expressed my deepest feelings and desires (besides my desire for her) in the car, because I would do that to anyone.

I also swear like a sailor, I dont hold back, she didnt seem offended by it, but I really have to cut back.

I just dont know what words to substitute for them... They just flow so beautifully...

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10485956 -

Darn, blues music never sounded so good.

Thank you Janis, Eric, early Jourma, and Barry&Joe...

Thank you so much...

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10486007 -

#1, you sound like an insecure and self centered coward. You are a mess man! Read your posts for God's sake. I'm not flaming you here. I was feeling where you were coming from at first, but after you talked more and more, the REAL issues began to shine through. You need to wake up dude, and I mean this in a kind way.

It's either that, or you are awful at putting down how you really feel on the interwebz.

Go read what you've written and get over yourself!!!!

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #10486037 -

But im really not...

Im super secure, moreso than most people id say. Other people wonder if what they wear clashes, while I say tye dye goes with everything. They say sandals are gay on men, I say my feet can breathe and are comfortable. They are ashamed of their drug use, I smile and know what I know, they could NEVER know, and maybe they dont deserve to.

I also dont think im self centered or a coward. I always help other people out, I put their feelings ahead of my own, I have trust in almost anyone I meet, and I would rather listen to other peoples problems and give advice than share my own, whether I care about theirs or not.

I really want to be more outgoing, I just cant.

Im going to be fucked up on at least 6 different psychedelics consistently for 3 days on a camping trip, which I urged her and her friend to come on, which they are, so maybe my real feelings will come through then and I can confess.

I just have that constant knot in my stomach over this, its strange ive never felt this...

I know I sound like a whiny bitch, I kind of am, but this is basically me in real life, pouring my feelings out to everyone, and I wish I could say something about THIS, but I just cant bring myself to do it...

I just think its amazing that after never talking ONCE in 8 years, I am her choice for the best personality. Thats really strange. And shes not too superficial, or so she comes off that way.

If I had a definite GO from her to say something, I would, but I need to be one hundred and ten percent confident before I make a move...

Its also weird since my other friends are MUCH better looking than I am, and they both in the far past tried to get with her, and nothing ever happened, and here I am, a tripped out hippie with no motivation towards women...

GAH!

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10486515 -

dude. why are you hating yourself? you should be happy you talked to this chick and had a connection...
take it easy.. you can't just hooke up with her straight away..
smoke some weed.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #10487065 -

I am guessing to the OP you've done weed? Are you the type it relaxes or makes anxious? Cause you could vape a hit or two before going into a conversation to lighten the mood. Unless you would just use a joint for a more sleepy type thing if it suits ya better. I know that is just a band-aid solution, but hey I used floaties before I began swimming the 500 meter.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #10487075 -

Im basically a daily smoker but im pretty much dry right now

Im really chill when I smoke but I can interact with people fine.

She doesnt smoke though, so it may be kind of difficult.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10487083 -

Maybe figure out a way to sneak it in once you have some? Be like, I think I left my car unlocked, pack some in a cigarette with tobacco emptied out, and do it quick before noticed. Just don't do enough to get in a wreck, just enough to take the edge off.

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Re: Im such a pussy... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #10487214 -

I think you may have misinterpreted my posts. She knows I smoke, ive smoked in front of her a few times before. She also thinks cigarettes are worse than the ganja, so Id rather not do that.

Hopefully Ill see her again before we go on our camping trip when I KNOW ill make an ass out of myself and let my feelings flow.

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