|
Ungawdly
Stranger

Registered: 01/29/06 
Posts: 58
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
|
Is my nephew staying with a pedophile?
#8038358 - 02/18/08 03:01 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
So I got a call from my brother today saying his Ex came home to find her 16yr old brother beating off in the living room with my 4yr old nephew like 10 feet away watching TV on the couch. She freaked, asked him WTF he thought he was doing. Aparently broke his computer screen and knocked him around, took her kid and left.
So my brother calls me asking what he should do. He knows his ex's brother more than likely was sexual abused in his childhood. But he also thinks it could just be a lazy 16 yr old beating off under his shirt at the computer. Im fuckin perplexed at this whole situation. Should I go slap the kid around a bit to get the point across to keep his dick in his pants around kids? Call the cops?
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8038401 - 02/18/08 03:08 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
None. Just take him to a therapist and try to show understanding. You never solve anything with force or by punishing.
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8038418 - 02/18/08 03:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Getting caught masturbating is incredibly embarrassing at that age...it happened to me. I would masturbate EVERYWHERE, even in church, and I didn't care who was in the room. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it and is just a horny kid. I'm sure either way his sister smacked enough shit into him.
|
Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8038947 - 02/18/08 05:10 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
yeah, I wouldn't look into it as much as you are. He's 16, does he need a reason to masturbate?
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
|
Jadian
Ninja



Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,404
Loc: The desert
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Drewwyann]
#8038950 - 02/18/08 05:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
There's a big difference between if he was staring at the kid or the kid was just on the other side of the room and the 16 year old was at a computer across the room or something.
I'd say evaluate based on what you know, because you know more than we do.
-------------------- LNC's official Alaskan stoner
 
|
Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Jadian]
#8038966 - 02/18/08 05:15 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah, if he was looking at the kid, I'd do something about it, your choice, but if you have reason to doubt that he was, I wouldn't take it too seriously.
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
|
memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Jadian]
#8039171 - 02/18/08 05:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Jadian said: There's a big difference between if he was staring at the kid or the kid was just on the other side of the room and the 16 year old was at a computer across the room or something.
I'd say evaluate based on what you know, because you know more than we do.
QFT
|
aDoS
freedom lover



Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 7,590
Loc: land of the free
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8040806 - 02/18/08 11:08 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
probably just jerking off and the kid happened to be there...he was most likely just being irresponsible. If you talk to him, just tell him to not fucking jerk off around little kids and if he does it again you will cut out his balls. Violence does work.
-------------------- "If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8041019 - 02/18/08 11:49 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
MushroomTrip said: None. Just take him to a therapist and try to show understanding. You never solve anything with force or by punishing.
|
b0b gnarley
Hold my beer and watch this!


Registered: 01/17/08
Posts: 3,246
Loc: The Bounds of Reality
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: memes]
#8041048 - 02/18/08 11:58 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
meams said:
Quote:
Jadian said: There's a big difference between if he was staring at the kid or the kid was just on the other side of the room and the 16 year old was at a computer across the room or something.
I'd say evaluate based on what you know, because you know more than we do.
QFT
--------------------
|
enotake2
Stop Bush's war



Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: b0b gnarley]
#8041440 - 02/19/08 02:02 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I'd find out what the kid was doing and what the brother was doing. Like - whether the guy had his penis exposed, and how close the kid was, if the kid was likely to be able to see, etc. Trust your feelings based on what you know about the brother too. If you have any doubts, I wouldn't be leaving him alone with a kid. I would also, if I had any doubts, be getting things investigated. Showing a kid pornography or masturbating or engaging in other sexual acts around them IS sexual abuse. And it is taken very seriously by child protection workers - can be quite psychologically damaging. The other reason for reporting it is -if the guy is a pedophile - he probably has abused other kids. Once they are caught, pedophiles have abused on average 11 kids. And they are unlikely to be successful in treatment unless there are some big consequences hanging over them - like jail. Otherwise they are effectively being given the message that what they are doing is OK. They will have lots of bogus internal justifications for what they are doing being OK.
In this situation you need to think about the kid. Not the brother.
-------------------- Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. "Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium "My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
|
alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8041482 - 02/19/08 02:54 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
id beat the fuck out him if it was my 4yr old with him but thats just me
whothefuck beats off with a kid in the same room?
theres sickness happening in OPs home that needs to be treated the old fashioned way without counseling or law involved
--------------------
i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
|
Boom
just a tester

Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8042223 - 02/19/08 10:25 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
NiamhNyx said:
Quote:
MushroomTrip said: None. Just take him to a therapist and try to show understanding. You never solve anything with force or by punishing.
That sounds really lame and expensive. Not in this situation, as far as I can tell, but every now and then a slap or a threat to a kid is not bad.
This pussy parenting is ridiculous. Wahh Johnny's self esteem will be hurt if he is picked last on the team at recess wahhh
|
NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Boom]
#8042304 - 02/19/08 10:46 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
The OP stated that the 16 year old experienced sexual abuse as a child. I would suspect he has little awareness of what appropriate sexual boundaries are because of that. He probably just thinks it's perfectly normal as he didn't learn the same boundaries the rest of us do. That doesn't make him a pedophile, but it would help him to recieve some counselling. Slapping him around isn't going to help considering he's probably already embarrassed enough at haing been caught. If not therapy, at least just having a calm conversation giving him the benefit of the doubt and not jumping to any conclusions about him being a pedophile would be a good place to start. He's 16 for christ sakes, he's probably really confused and really horny and probably wasn't thinking.
Edited by NiamhNyx (02/19/08 08:02 PM)
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Boom]
#8042474 - 02/19/08 11:34 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Lame and expensive?  And hitting or punishing a child is not lame.  If the parents have enough mind, they will KNOW hot to REASON with their children. There's no such thing as a "bad kid", there are only incompetent parents. And those parents who are unable to know who their kid is and how to build a healthy relationship with them, should at least have the decency to ask for professional help - a therapist. It is not a matter of "being hurt", it's just that punishing never shows results, in the long run it does more harm than good.
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8042487 - 02/19/08 11:37 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Let's see, 16 and sitting in front of a computer (obviously because the computer screen was broken) and jerking off. I wonder what he was doing?
4 yr old wasn't that close by and was watching tv.
Really doesn't sound like pedophilia. But like others said. With only a partial idea of what's going on it's hard to say.
|
mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8042501 - 02/19/08 11:40 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
I have to say MT, based on what you said, you don't have kids do you?
There is such a thing as bad kids. It doesn't make their parents incompetent.
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: mushbaby]
#8042538 - 02/19/08 11:51 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
mushbaby said: I have to say MT, based on what you said, you don't have kids do you?
There is such a thing as bad kids. It doesn't make their parents incompetent.
No, I don't have kids but this doesn't mean I wouldn't know HOW to raise one. Does delivering a baby or conceiving it makes one competent? Far from being so! I was a kid myself and I know exactly what worked on me and what didn't. I have the necessary awareness and lucidity to realize what's good in educating a kid and what's bad. I can discern why I was "bad" when I was and why I was "good" and because of what. Also I have read a fuck ton of children's psychology books, education, motivation and the like. Yes, I think I am able to say without any shadow of doubt that I have a pretty good idea about growing a child. 
Quote:
There is such a thing as bad kids.
Care to explain?
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8042668 - 02/19/08 12:18 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Some psychotics exhibited tendencies such as animal mutilation at an early age. Not all such children were abused or neglected. Now I'll admit it's rare. But to say "no child is bad, the parents were incompetent" is plain unfair.
|
MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: mushbaby]
#8042716 - 02/19/08 12:37 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
|
|
Yes and this situation is not one of those rare examples. I was making reference to situations like these, where if parents think that their child needs to be beaten is because they have no clue how to raise them.
--------------------
   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
|
|