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Ungawdly
Stranger

Registered: 01/29/06 
Posts: 58
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Is my nephew staying with a pedophile?
#8038358 - 02/18/08 03:01 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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So I got a call from my brother today saying his Ex came home to find her 16yr old brother beating off in the living room with my 4yr old nephew like 10 feet away watching TV on the couch. She freaked, asked him WTF he thought he was doing. Aparently broke his computer screen and knocked him around, took her kid and left.
So my brother calls me asking what he should do. He knows his ex's brother more than likely was sexual abused in his childhood. But he also thinks it could just be a lazy 16 yr old beating off under his shirt at the computer. Im fuckin perplexed at this whole situation. Should I go slap the kid around a bit to get the point across to keep his dick in his pants around kids? Call the cops?
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8038401 - 02/18/08 03:08 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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None. Just take him to a therapist and try to show understanding. You never solve anything with force or by punishing.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8038418 - 02/18/08 03:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Getting caught masturbating is incredibly embarrassing at that age...it happened to me. I would masturbate EVERYWHERE, even in church, and I didn't care who was in the room. Maybe he didn't mean anything by it and is just a horny kid. I'm sure either way his sister smacked enough shit into him.
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8038947 - 02/18/08 05:10 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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yeah, I wouldn't look into it as much as you are. He's 16, does he need a reason to masturbate?
--------------------
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Jadian
Ninja



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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Drewwyann]
#8038950 - 02/18/08 05:11 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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There's a big difference between if he was staring at the kid or the kid was just on the other side of the room and the 16 year old was at a computer across the room or something.
I'd say evaluate based on what you know, because you know more than we do.
-------------------- LNC's official Alaskan stoner
 
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Jadian]
#8038966 - 02/18/08 05:15 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah, if he was looking at the kid, I'd do something about it, your choice, but if you have reason to doubt that he was, I wouldn't take it too seriously.
--------------------
 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Jadian]
#8039171 - 02/18/08 05:48 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jadian said: There's a big difference between if he was staring at the kid or the kid was just on the other side of the room and the 16 year old was at a computer across the room or something.
I'd say evaluate based on what you know, because you know more than we do.
QFT
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aDoS
freedom lover



Registered: 06/18/05
Posts: 7,590
Loc: land of the free
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8040806 - 02/18/08 11:08 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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probably just jerking off and the kid happened to be there...he was most likely just being irresponsible. If you talk to him, just tell him to not fucking jerk off around little kids and if he does it again you will cut out his balls. Violence does work.
-------------------- "If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise." - Aldous Huxley GIVE ME OPIATES OR GIVE ME DEATH
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8041019 - 02/18/08 11:49 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
MushroomTrip said: None. Just take him to a therapist and try to show understanding. You never solve anything with force or by punishing.
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b0b gnarley
Hold my beer and watch this!


Registered: 01/17/08
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: memes]
#8041048 - 02/18/08 11:58 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
meams said:
Quote:
Jadian said: There's a big difference between if he was staring at the kid or the kid was just on the other side of the room and the 16 year old was at a computer across the room or something.
I'd say evaluate based on what you know, because you know more than we do.
QFT
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enotake2
Stop Bush's war



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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: b0b gnarley]
#8041440 - 02/19/08 02:02 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'd find out what the kid was doing and what the brother was doing. Like - whether the guy had his penis exposed, and how close the kid was, if the kid was likely to be able to see, etc. Trust your feelings based on what you know about the brother too. If you have any doubts, I wouldn't be leaving him alone with a kid. I would also, if I had any doubts, be getting things investigated. Showing a kid pornography or masturbating or engaging in other sexual acts around them IS sexual abuse. And it is taken very seriously by child protection workers - can be quite psychologically damaging. The other reason for reporting it is -if the guy is a pedophile - he probably has abused other kids. Once they are caught, pedophiles have abused on average 11 kids. And they are unlikely to be successful in treatment unless there are some big consequences hanging over them - like jail. Otherwise they are effectively being given the message that what they are doing is OK. They will have lots of bogus internal justifications for what they are doing being OK.
In this situation you need to think about the kid. Not the brother.
-------------------- Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. "Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium "My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8041482 - 02/19/08 02:54 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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id beat the fuck out him if it was my 4yr old with him but thats just me
whothefuck beats off with a kid in the same room?
theres sickness happening in OPs home that needs to be treated the old fashioned way without counseling or law involved
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Boom
just a tester

Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 11,252
Loc: Cypress Creek
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8042223 - 02/19/08 10:25 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
NiamhNyx said:
Quote:
MushroomTrip said: None. Just take him to a therapist and try to show understanding. You never solve anything with force or by punishing.
That sounds really lame and expensive. Not in this situation, as far as I can tell, but every now and then a slap or a threat to a kid is not bad.
This pussy parenting is ridiculous. Wahh Johnny's self esteem will be hurt if he is picked last on the team at recess wahhh
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Boom]
#8042304 - 02/19/08 10:46 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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The OP stated that the 16 year old experienced sexual abuse as a child. I would suspect he has little awareness of what appropriate sexual boundaries are because of that. He probably just thinks it's perfectly normal as he didn't learn the same boundaries the rest of us do. That doesn't make him a pedophile, but it would help him to recieve some counselling. Slapping him around isn't going to help considering he's probably already embarrassed enough at haing been caught. If not therapy, at least just having a calm conversation giving him the benefit of the doubt and not jumping to any conclusions about him being a pedophile would be a good place to start. He's 16 for christ sakes, he's probably really confused and really horny and probably wasn't thinking.
Edited by NiamhNyx (02/19/08 08:02 PM)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Boom]
#8042474 - 02/19/08 11:34 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Lame and expensive?  And hitting or punishing a child is not lame.  If the parents have enough mind, they will KNOW hot to REASON with their children. There's no such thing as a "bad kid", there are only incompetent parents. And those parents who are unable to know who their kid is and how to build a healthy relationship with them, should at least have the decency to ask for professional help - a therapist. It is not a matter of "being hurt", it's just that punishing never shows results, in the long run it does more harm than good.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8042487 - 02/19/08 11:37 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Let's see, 16 and sitting in front of a computer (obviously because the computer screen was broken) and jerking off. I wonder what he was doing?
4 yr old wasn't that close by and was watching tv.
Really doesn't sound like pedophilia. But like others said. With only a partial idea of what's going on it's hard to say.
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8042501 - 02/19/08 11:40 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have to say MT, based on what you said, you don't have kids do you?
There is such a thing as bad kids. It doesn't make their parents incompetent.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: mushbaby]
#8042538 - 02/19/08 11:51 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
mushbaby said: I have to say MT, based on what you said, you don't have kids do you?
There is such a thing as bad kids. It doesn't make their parents incompetent.
No, I don't have kids but this doesn't mean I wouldn't know HOW to raise one. Does delivering a baby or conceiving it makes one competent? Far from being so! I was a kid myself and I know exactly what worked on me and what didn't. I have the necessary awareness and lucidity to realize what's good in educating a kid and what's bad. I can discern why I was "bad" when I was and why I was "good" and because of what. Also I have read a fuck ton of children's psychology books, education, motivation and the like. Yes, I think I am able to say without any shadow of doubt that I have a pretty good idea about growing a child. 
Quote:
There is such a thing as bad kids.
Care to explain?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8042668 - 02/19/08 12:18 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Some psychotics exhibited tendencies such as animal mutilation at an early age. Not all such children were abused or neglected. Now I'll admit it's rare. But to say "no child is bad, the parents were incompetent" is plain unfair.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: mushbaby]
#8042716 - 02/19/08 12:37 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yes and this situation is not one of those rare examples. I was making reference to situations like these, where if parents think that their child needs to be beaten is because they have no clue how to raise them.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8042756 - 02/19/08 12:51 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Okay. I just tense when people say everything is the parents' fault.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: mushbaby]
#8042819 - 02/19/08 01:15 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well I understand and I didn't mean to offend is any way.  But the reality is that in most cases a kid has issues because of the way he's raised.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8045134 - 02/19/08 10:02 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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your crap know it all comments offended me
16 is a kid? give me a fucking break
like i said,id have beaten the fuck out of him and told everyone who knows him to keep their kids away from it
spare a thought for the criminal and not the victim is your motto huh?
jesus christ
you know whats really fucked about being a parent?
we have to trust others like you regarding our children without a choice in the matter,we cant watch them 24/7 and when mine are away from me its nothing but worries and id dread the thought that if something like that happened to my kid and you were in charge of making the decision to tell me about it,you wouldnt.
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
Edited by alphabeatu (02/19/08 10:11 PM)
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8045494 - 02/19/08 11:10 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
alphabeatu said: your crap know it all comments offended me
Boohoo. 
Quote:
16 is a kid? give me a fucking break
Age 19 is legal adulthood. 16 is considered juvenile by the legal system. I bet you $100 that if you talked to a lawyer or a social worker that they'd tell you the same thing.
Quote:
like i said,id have beaten the fuck out of him and told everyone who knows him to keep their kids away from it
Wow. So you have the wisdom to play judge, jury and executioner? Poor kid doesn't stand a chance. He doesnt even have the right to the benefit of the doubt and the chance to tell his side of the story before punishment? The "evidence" against him doesn't shed a damn bit of light onto his motivations. There are at least a few possible alternative explanations other than pedophilia.
Quote:
spare a thought for the criminal and not the victim is your motto huh?
Nice straw man fallacy, dude.
We don't even know if this kid is even a "criminal" yet, we simply don't have all the pertinent evidence necessary to accept such a conclusion. Until all the evidence comes to light, it is innappropriate to cast final judgement. This is how the judicial system (is supposed to) work. You know, "innocent until proven guilty"??
Quote:
jesus christ
you know whats really fucked about being a parent?
we have to trust others like you regarding our children without a choice in the matter,we cant watch them 24/7 and when mine are away from me its nothing but worries and id dread the thought that if something like that happened to my kid and you were in charge of making the decision to tell me about it,you wouldnt.
Without a choice in the matter? No choice at all? You don't think you can weigh your options and ask the person you deem most trustworthy to care for your child? I am willing to grant that, yes, there isn't always as wide a range of choice as one might like, but there certainly is a choice in most circumstances.
I sincerely doubt that if MT or anyone with similar views were watching your kid and witnessed a situation like this one, that she'd neglect to tell you about it. The parent has the right to know and to reconsider thier childcare options. But do they have the right to make final judgement, without all the pertinent evidence, as to the intentions of the offending party? No.
Is beating the shit out of a kid and essentially driving him completely out of his community by spreading unsubstantiated gossip likely to help us arrive at any true understanding of what happened and why? NO. So reign in your irrational goddamn impulses and gather all the pertinent evidence before blowing what may (or may not) have been a careless and regretable mistake out of proportion. If it turns out that this kid really is a pedophile after a fair and judicious evaluation of the evidence, well, then there's another whole debate to be had on the best way to deal with that. Right now we just don't have the information necessary to jump to that half of the discussion.
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8045888 - 02/20/08 01:01 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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if you think i read all that after 'boohoo' you can go fuck yourself :
what i said stands in my world and yes damn fucking straight id be judge jury and executioner.
just think,i'd even probably kill you if you did it and i caught you red handed isnt the world cruel huh
would you believe the baby or the pedophile?
no need to answer wank it was rhetorical
Edited by alphabeatu (02/20/08 01:08 AM)
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 3,198
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8045987 - 02/20/08 01:43 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
would you believe the baby or the pedophile?
This is called the fallacy of false dichotomy. You're assuming it's a matter of one or the other, and that there are no other possibilities in between or outside of the choices you've laid out. It's entirely possible to 'believe' both, but neither can be believed until they are asked for thier stories in the first place.
Did the "baby" say that the older kid did anything to him? Maybe if he did we'd have more to work with, but there'd still be more evidence to gather. Has anyone asked either of the kids what happened from thier point of view, or is all of this based on the testimony of the sister who walked in on the situation and smashed the computer? Shit's complicated. Even the father of the young child realizes that it might have just been a dumb, lazy thing to do and not the horrible evil you're assuming it to have been. He might have been hiding behind his laptop, out of the view of the kid. Maybe, maybe not. Either way it's a dumb thing to do, but the consequences for being dumb and lazy ought to be lesser than the consequences for consciously and intentionally sexually harassing a kid. Excessive punishment for a moronic slip up has the potential to heavily damage a kid that may not have even done what he's being punished for.
Evidence people, evidence.
Edited by NiamhNyx (02/20/08 01:51 AM)
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: NiamhNyx]
#8046007 - 02/20/08 01:50 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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um the women walked in and caught him pulling his dick with a child present
thats all the evidence id need
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8046008 - 02/20/08 01:50 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
alphabeatu said: if you think i read all that after 'boohoo' you can go fuck yourself :
what i said stands in my world and yes damn fucking straight id be judge jury and executioner.
just think,i'd even probably kill you if you did it and i caught you red handed isnt the world cruel huh
would you believe the baby or the pedophile?
no need to answer wank it was rhetorical
Take posts like these to OTD, this is a forum where people need real advice, not non sense
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8046013 - 02/20/08 01:54 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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follow your own pretentious advice and piss off to otd my advice isnt soft cock 'lets make the offender the victim' rot like yours is
you wouldnt be able to banish me from your presence irl if we were to discuss this so why try to here? im talking from my heart,your talking from your ass
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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MushmanTheManic
Stranger


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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Ungawdly]
#8046057 - 02/20/08 02:50 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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The sixteen year old kid may not be a pedophile, but he certainly doesn't understand permissible sexual behavior.
Most people who are sexually abused do not grow up to be abusers themselves, but there are a minority of people who do. I've personally talked to someone in a group therapy session that used his own experience of sexual abuse to justify sexually abusing his little sister. It is uncommon, but it happens.
Smacking him around isn't going to accomplish anything - except maybe make his behaviors even more deviant and/or destructive. Sit him down and clearly explain that it is not acceptable to masturbate when a child is present.
Oh... and I'd keep my nephew away from him at all costs.
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NiamhNyx
I'm NOT a 'he'


Registered: 09/01/02
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushmanTheManic]
#8046069 - 02/20/08 03:11 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Good post Mushman.
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8046093 - 02/20/08 03:43 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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alphabeatu
Sire

Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8046174 - 02/20/08 05:48 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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although their intentions are 'sweet' at that link its laughable in the eyes of a bad kid/rotten adolescent/juvenile delinquent theyre talking about harmless bad behaviour like arguing,teasing others,stealing etc
not sexual deviances
lets face the real world here
ever seen a kid smirk after being sent to their room as punishment only to do the same thing a day later knowing all they will get is sent to their room or some toy taken off them? what do you do then? wait till they fester and explode on each other?
i wonder if any of those kids that have taken guns to school and killed all their fellow students had ever been punished with a smack?
why do people like you think we should raise children without punishment eg smacking when as soon as they grow up they are old enough to have the shit beat out of them by a cop with a baton and society says 'hey they deserved it,they must have done something bad if the cops resorted to violence'?
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
Edited by alphabeatu (02/20/08 06:08 AM)
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todesengel
the chinese chicken


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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8046394 - 02/20/08 08:48 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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So this kid, who probably never learned sexual conduct from anyone, is supposed to take a beating because he likely didn't know better?
Someone has to teach a person that something is wrong before you can say they made the mistake of doing it. Because if a person doesn't know its wrong, they will do it. If they know its wrong and they do it anyway, THATS WHEN YOU PUNISH HIM.
Don't ever beat or inflict pain on a child in order to discipline him. This will make them grow up into a violence solves things kind of person. Don't tell me I am wrong either, I have seen it happen to more then one person.
Quote:
why do people like you think we should raise children without punishment eg smacking when as soon as they grow up they are old enough to have the shit beat out of them by a cop with a baton and society says 'hey they deserved it,they must have done something bad if the cops resorted to violence'?
Cops will beat the shit out of anyone with extreme force given any opportunity to do so. They don't give a shit about you.
Maybe you should have gotten beaten alot by your parents growing up. Oh just like my friend Jason. He was whipped by his dad for anything. Guess what? Someone in that family no longer exists on this earth.
Edited by todesengel (02/20/08 08:52 AM)
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8046821 - 02/20/08 11:18 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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not sexual deviances
Sexual deviations? Since when is masturbating a sexual deviation? Not to mention that what's sexually "normal" or "not normal" is culturally and socially decided, and it doesn't come in agreement with natural. But this is a matter that I am not going to start arguing about because it doesn't directly affect the case. What must be kept in mind, besides the obvious and proved fact that punishing doesn't work, is that in this case ESPECIALLY it won't. Because what this 16 year old did was a natural impulse (yes, I refuse the idea that masturbating is artificial ), even though it is not a socially encouraged act, especially in the presence of others. If that kid gets punished for a natural impulse, he will never understand WHY. He will probably keep in mind not to do it anymore, but he will never understand why he doesn't have to do so. And without understanding we're fucked. That's how errors occur, that's how myths are born, superstitions, delusion. Reasoning and being able to reason are one of finest assets and if we don't use that we're just standing against any kind of progress. Now, getting back to THIS specific case, it is somehow possible that he might never do that again, but life, numerous psychological researches and tests have shown that there are more chances that he will do it again, only that this time he will learn how to hide better, or even become aggressive. Aggression triggers aggression. Also he will develop a feeling of guilt which will fight his impulses so he will live in a state of psychological conflict. Need I go on?
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why do people like you think we should raise children without punishment eg smacve the shit beat out of them by a cop with a baton and society says 'hey they deserved it,they must have done something bad if the cops resorted to violence'?
So basically you're saying that there's no reason is beating up a kid just because there are chances that they might be beaten up by cops eventually?  This just doesn't make any sense, it is a far fetched assumption and it is also a logical fallacy. It is like saying why not kill yourself when you will die anyways some day?
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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johnm214



Registered: 05/31/07
Posts: 17,582
Loc: Americas
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8057233 - 02/22/08 04:24 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
why do people like you think we should raise children without punishment eg smacking when as soon as they grow up they are old enough to have the shit beat out of them by a cop with a baton and society says 'hey they deserved it,they must have done something bad if the cops resorted to violence'?
this is one of the dumbest things I've ever read
you're conflating society with "people like you" without any demonstrated reason to
you seem to presume what you assert, without demonstrating, to be society's belief is correct without reason
you make no argument related to your thesis at all
...
and your being mean
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alphabeatu
Sire


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: johnm214]
#8059805 - 02/23/08 10:36 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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johnm214 said: this is one of the dumbest things I've ever read
really? heres some of your friends little illiteracies to ponder over then...
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Mushroomtrip said:
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Well I understand and I didn't mean to offend is any way.
Take posts like these to OTD, this is a forum where people need real advice, not non sense
Quote: why do people like you think we should raise children without punishment eg smacve the shit beat out of them by a cop with a baton and society says 'hey they deserved it,they must have done something bad if the cops resorted to violence'?
So basically you're saying that there's no reason is beating up a kid just because there are chances that they might be beaten up by cops eventually?
I am sorry, but this is remains the basic implication of the word,
So dividing and rebuking ALWAYS exclude comprehension?
Why should need for food or shelter be ok and the ideological need for supremacy should not?
Yes, numerous situations makes it highly required.
I like what you said and couldn't agree with you more.
Well what you earlier said.
Also, like I earlier said
I don't think so, the smiley list seems to not have been updated in quite a while.
I have never heard of a cured allergy case. BUT some allergies might be dangerous and get more severe in time,
I am happy that you're getting over. Life's too beautiful to be wasted on things like these.
WHY are you friend with him?
Maybe he grew up and realized how immature he was. Case in which the past shouldn't matter.
Then maybe it is good to stop the contacts with this dude. But if you get along well now it's all that matters...
We're pretty comic little fuckers
If the parents have enough mind, they will KNOW hot to REASON with their children.
'smacve the shit beat out of them'

atleast i dont try to sound smart and fail as miserably as that
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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MushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs



Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8059927 - 02/23/08 11:14 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Using a language can be improved, but you're stuck with ignorance for a life time.
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   All this time I've loved you And never known your face All this time I've missed you And searched this human race Here is true peace Here my heart knows calm Safe in your soul Bathed in your sighs
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alphabeatu
Sire


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: MushroomTrip]
#8060054 - 02/23/08 11:51 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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d-o-n-'-t c-o-u-n-t o-n i-t
youre taking a hell of a long time to improve,those were from your last two pages of illiteracy
ignorance is bliss
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8060070 - 02/23/08 11:56 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I don't see how typos factor in to an argument being less of an argument, or have anything to do with being unintelligent.
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alphabeatu
Sire


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Drewwyann]
#8060134 - 02/23/08 12:14 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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i judge 'typos' as simple miss hits like if its the next letter on the keyboard,not blatant spelling errors,using plurals or not using when needed and starting sentences with But....
do i have to unravel every one of those quotes he screwed up to show you?
get someone else who has a better grasp of english grammar to help you,i couldnt be bothered with imbeciles
if you cant see that he is semi illiterate by the way he 'uses' english then you must be in the same class as him
'thats it,end of story' sheesh
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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Drewwyann
Slayer of ticks



Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 4,077
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8060221 - 02/23/08 12:32 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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That 'he' is a she, and theres a space between commas and the next letter following them.
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 Anyone need a glass pipe? : http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002435158931 Love powerfully  
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alphabeatu
Sire


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Drewwyann]
#8060239 - 02/23/08 12:36 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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well if you want to be really picky why did you leave out the comma in 'theres'?
i disregard sexes on the internet,it means nothing and i dont treat people any different because they might be a girl
Edited by alphabeatu (02/23/08 12:38 PM)
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alphabeatu
Sire


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: Drewwyann]
#8060243 - 02/23/08 12:38 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Drewwyann said: That 'he' is a she, and theres a space between commas and the next letter following them.
.
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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johnm214



Registered: 05/31/07
Posts: 17,582
Loc: Americas
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8061968 - 02/23/08 06:50 PM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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sorry, I shouldn't have said that was stupid or whatever, but I disagree
And all your grammer are belong to me
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alphabeatu
Sire


Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 2,750
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: johnm214]
#8063093 - 02/24/08 02:04 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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i never got a chance to apologise so i dont accept yours:D
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i need names and addresses of narc members pm for details
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mushbaby
woodswalker




Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
Loc: in my own lil world
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: alphabeatu]
#8063651 - 02/24/08 09:06 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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I think MT does a great job considering English is not her first language. She does better than some people who only speak English.
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JoseLibrado
return


Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 569
Last seen: 15 years, 6 months
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Re: Is my nephew staying with a pedophile? [Re: mushbaby]
#8067294 - 02/25/08 12:51 AM (15 years, 11 months ago) |
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Explain to the kid why masterbating in front of a child is not beneficial and damaging towards the child.
If he does not respond to it, the kid lacks empathy and seeing the interconnection of life.
This is then the problem. If a person cannot see another pain as identical and indifferent to theirs, they will smurk when you tell them why it it wrong to to do something - becase it will hurt someone.
I know this becase if a person lacks an understanding about why hurting another is in no way different from them feeling pain,then telling them to not masterbate in the presence of a child because it will hurt them, wont be effective or logical.
Logic and rational decisions are based on what is observably true in reality.
example;If i want to wear a shirt that is the color of the sky - the only logical conclusion would be to buy a shirt that was blue. Identically, if i do something that hurts someone and i cannot see that this person feels pain, in the identical way, I do - i would not be able to logically conclude that i should not masterbate in front of a child, because it hurts them.
It seems like we are begging to argue more personally on the subject, so i wish to make a Re-CALL, that we are all really searching for the same thing here - the proper way to handle this situation, with the knowledge we have to offer this person in need, as we come to need at other times.
I will finsih this by wishing you all peace and ease to strenous times.

Farewell.
-------------------- The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution. And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change. Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems. Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....
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