Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
I Suffer From Shyness!
    #7805404 - 12/27/07 08:26 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

haha, well, after answering a billion of these posts since I registered, I guess it's about time to tell everyone about my fuck-ups.

I just moved to a new place and started a new job and my social anxiety is back. Once I get into a routine and am familiar with everyone and everything I can function pretty normally. But I'm just awkward as shit lately, I'm away from all my friends and have a job that requires I talk to a billion strangers a day.

These days I have absolutely no reason to be shy, in middle/high-school I went through an awkward stage, but now I'm a beautiful stalion still carrying the baggage of my early teenage years. It bothers me a great deal because I love talking to people and ironically some people interpret my shyness as arrogance, which couldn't be further from the truth.

So, does anyone here have some advice? I took zoloft a few years back, but I couldn't ejaculate and that was reason enough to not take it.



Edited by oliveplume (12/27/07 08:27 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805485 - 12/27/07 08:49 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

So, does anyone here have some advice?




yes... stop thinking that you are a stallion

remember... you are a human being


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805518 - 12/27/07 08:59 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

You've been on and off with this... so the first thing I would do would be to remind myself that this is a phase in my life.
Also I would remind myself how it all happened in the past and how I got out of it. It's easy to pick up on past feelings, that's what got you here in the first place. :smile:
So if you (less consciously) turned into that mind frame that makes you behave shy, you can also (this time consciously, therefore more efficient) tune into the person that you were when you got over your shyness.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7805559 - 12/27/07 09:10 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks mushtrip.

I've been shy my entire life, my father was and so was my grandfather, I wonder how much genetics has to do with it.

It seems like I have honestly no control over this, it just gradually diminishes when I am familiar with a place or people given a certain amount of time. Even then, I am only comfortable in that routine, parties or meeting new people reverts me right back to my ol self...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805638 - 12/27/07 09:31 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Take some MDMA at work!


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
    #7805647 - 12/27/07 09:34 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

reeferaddict69 said:
Take some MDMA at work!




OMG, best idea yet!

Check your pm's, I just sent a message titled "Can you get me beans?"


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805669 - 12/27/07 09:39 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

No, leave genetics out of it because it's not the way to go if you want any problems fixed. :lol:
Tell me, did you ever really consider that you're not really shy?
Shyness is only determined when compared.
Would your behavior be considered shy 100 years ago?
Would you be labeled shy (by others or you) if you lived amongst Tibetan monks?
Perhaps you are not so much of a social person, which is not quite the same thing with being shy.
Maybe your personality has a different structure than the majority of people.
I considered myself to be shy for a long time for basically the same reasons that you do, and it turned out... that I was not shy at all. :lol:
It's just that I have OVERexposed myself to social situations which didn't match my personality. The reason why I socially overexposed myself like that was exactly because I couldn't get along with the idea that I can't do what the rest of the people do, not because I felt the need to do so... looking back, it was so silly :lol:
So yeah I was getting more & more miserable and confused and then I decided that maybe it's just not me the person that I was trying to be.
I love people and I love talking and connecting to people. But most of the times my idea of being with people doesn't click with the principle on which they usually interact. :tongue:
So yeah... where was I? :lol:
In my mind it all sounded more structured but right now my thoughts seem to have a life of their own. :strokebeard:
Yes. so, where I was getting at is that maybe a similar thing is happening to you. You love people and probably on certain occasions you are so sociable that you can't believe that it's you doing all that. :lol: And then... you experience those feelings.
Maybe look for people who you are really compatible with?
As a reverse to all this, I met lots of people who have incredible social skills but in fact are really shy. Which leads me to the conclusion that probably being a social person has almost nothing to do with who you are but more likely with what you learn.
Some people are just educated into being social.
I guess that following this logic you could educate yourself and become the heart of all parties and other mass social activities.
The question is: do you REALLY want that?
I suggest that you think about it and see what's driving you. :hehehe:
Might as well be just the desire of having what you can't have, an ambition. And then you can start thinking about how constructive this ambition is for you.
Will it make you happy? I think that's the final question... at least that's what would be for me, since everything comes down to feeling happy. :mushroom2:

Ahh yes! :lol:
I knew I wanted to say something more. :smirk:
The reason why your grandfather and you father and now you... were/are all shy is NOT because of genetics, but because your father was grown up by your grand father (and... he picked up on his shyness from an early age that he didn't have the time nor the awareness to see that it was all from the way he was grown)... and you... were grown by your father and practically repeated his history. :shrug: :smile:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #7805676 - 12/27/07 09:41 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
No, leave genetics out of it because it's not the way to go if you want any problems fixed. :lol:
Tell me, did you ever really consider that you're not really shy?
Shyness is only determined when compared.
Would your behavior be considered shy 100 years ago?
Would you be labeled shy (by others or you) if you lived amongst Tibetan monks?
Perhaps you are not so much of a social person, which is not quite the same thing with being shy.
Maybe your personality has a different structure than the majority of people.
I considered myself to be shy for a long time for basically the same reasons that you do, and it turned out... that I was not shy at all. :lol:
It's just that I have OVERexposed myself to social situations which didn't match my personality. The reason why I socially overexposed myself like that was exactly because I couldn't get along with the idea that I can't do what the rest of the people do, not because I felt the need to do so... looking back, it was so silly :lol:
So yeah I was getting more & more miserable and confused and then I decided that maybe it's just not me the person that I was trying to be.
I love people and I love talking and connecting to people. But most of the times my idea of being with people doesn't click with the principle on which they usually interact. :tongue:
So yeah... where was I? :lol:
In my mind it all sounded more structured but right now my thoughts seem to have a life of their own. :strokebeard:
Yes. so, where I was getting at is that maybe a similar thing is happening to you. You love people and probably on certain occasions you are so sociable that you can't believe that it's you doing all that. :lol: And then... you experience those feelings.
Maybe look for people who you are really compatible with?
As a reverse to all this, I met lots of people who have incredible social skills but in fact are really shy. Which leads me to the conclusion that probably being a social person has almost nothing to do with who you are but more likely with what you learn.
Some people are just educated into being social.
I guess that following this logic you could educate yourself and become the heart of all parties and other mass social activities.
The question is: do you REALLY want that?
I suggest that you think about it and see what's driving you. :hehehe:
Might as well be just the desire of having what you can't have, an ambition. And then you can start thinking about how constructive this ambition is for you.
Will it make you happy? I think that's the final question... at least that's what would be for me, since everything comes down to feeling happy. :mushroom2:

Ahh yes! :lol:
I knew I wanted to say something more. :smirk:
The reason why your grandfather and you father and now you... were/are all shy is NOT because of genetics, but because your father was grown up by your grand father (and... he picked up on his shyness from an early age that he didn't have the time nor the awareness to see that it was all from the way he was grown)... and you... were grown by your father and practically repeated his history. :shrug: :smile:




Exactly:thumbup:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
    #7805740 - 12/27/07 10:04 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Something I'll keep in mind mush. I picked up a psychology today issue once about shyness and one guy in there theorized that shyness is actually a defensive mechanism going back to the stone age. Apparently, by being shy, tribes were better able to protect themselves by being more apprehensive of other tribes.

I do want to be a social butterfly because I believe that will make me happy, I love people and want to open up to them as much as possible. I've missed out on so many great relationships because of my shyness. It's painful when some really cute girl will flirt with me and I do nothing about it. I usually have to make the friendship connection with women before I can put my moves on them :craven:

In the meantime, thanks for the sick price on those beans reefer, I'll try those out as soon as they reach my house :thumbup:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805933 - 12/27/07 10:51 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

here is a definition of shy

Adj. 1. shy - lacking self-confidence; "stood in the doorway diffident and abashed"; "problems that call for bold not timid responses"; "a very unsure young man"
unsure, diffident, timid

and mushroomtrip, i think it is called subconscious, not less conscious :smile:

as far as i know, social anxiety and shyness is a type of defense mechanism that exists in some peoples subconscious mind.. stuck there like a piece of bubble gum.. and my guess is that it can be somewhat easily removed with hypnotherapy and other methods similar to that

social anxiety sits in the simplest parts of the mind, and can be removed


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805953 - 12/27/07 10:54 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

oliveplume said:
Something I'll keep in mind mush. I picked up a psychology today issue once about shyness and one guy in there theorized that shyness is actually a defensive mechanism going back to the stone age. Apparently, by being shy, tribes were better able to protect themselves by being more apprehensive of other tribes.

I do want to be a social butterfly because I believe that will make me happy, I love people and want to open up to them as much as possible. I've missed out on so many great relationships because of my shyness. It's painful when some really cute girl will flirt with me and I do nothing about it. I usually have to make the friendship connection with women before I can put my moves on them :craven:

In the meantime, thanks for the sick price on those beans reefer, I'll try those out as soon as they reach my house :thumbup:




Anything to help a brotha in need!


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: GGreatOne234]
    #7805963 - 12/27/07 10:56 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

GG,

what the hell happened to that number you were supposed to pm me? huh?

:toomuchacid:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRonaldFuckingPaul
Our Dear Leader
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 13,617
Loc: Straight Outta Compton Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7805988 - 12/27/07 11:01 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

oliveplume said:
GG,

what the hell happened to that number you were supposed to pm me? huh?

:toomuchacid:




Huh?


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinemushroomplume
Stranger

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 1,395
Last seen: 14 years, 19 days
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
    #7805997 - 12/27/07 11:03 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

that was directed at GG


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
    #7805999 - 12/27/07 11:04 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

i know of a really brilliant therapist doctor from when i used to live in florida

i will make a phone call right now and find it for you olive


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
Male


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7807361 - 12/28/07 01:02 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

ironically some people interpret my shyness as arrogance, which couldn't be further from the truth.


I think more accurately, self-importance/self consciousness is the issue in shyness. We think about ourselves too much and worry that others will see us the way we see ourselves. They are usually too busy worrying about themselves for that. To change this is a life long struggle IMO and my experience. It usually gets a little better with time but can have acute recurrences from time to time.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleWhiskeyClone
Not here
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
Re: I Suffer From Shyness! [Re: mushroomplume]
    #7811740 - 12/29/07 09:04 PM (16 years, 1 month ago)

I've always been shy. I'm slowly realizing how limiting it can be. I know I come off as arrogant sometimes because of my self-consciousness. I have been working on it though, and one thing that's helped me consistently is to emulate people who are not shy. Be the first one to talk for once, even though it feels awkward at first.

In any case it's something that has to be practiced.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Social Disease p4kSouL 911 7 01/26/05 11:36 AM
by p4kSouL
* hi... my name is Suffer, and im an alcoholic
( 1 2 all )
Suffer 8,248 26 11/26/03 09:55 PM
by Phoshaman
* Dealing with social anxiety
( 1 2 all )
tomk 5,507 25 05/29/05 01:50 PM
by p4kSouL
* shyness/loneliness zzenix 2,719 18 04/29/03 03:29 PM
by MarkostheGnostic
* Shyness Anonymous 1,030 8 01/17/08 11:41 PM
by Polyrhythmanaut
* Best drug for social anxiety (help please)
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Mickel 17,329 63 05/21/03 09:00 PM
by SBTlauien
* Socially Inept Reclusive Drunk
( 1 2 all )
Yarry 3,617 23 06/05/05 10:08 AM
by nightkrawler
* possible reason for shyness makaveli8x8 492 1 05/26/06 12:16 PM
by NickSoapdish

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: CherryBom, Rose, mndfreeze, yogabunny, feevers, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
1,342 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 6 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.033 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 15 queries.