fantasylndvictm said:

As bad as this might be I'm going to say somin from a movie, they said u know it's love when someone can know the absolute worst thing about u and it's ok....

---

That sounds like vulnerability to moi.

Some1~Thanks for the youtube piece. It's food for thought that applies here nicely. We crave to be understood. That's beyond basic survival. It's a higher level that speaks of quality of life, not  only existance but the thing inside us that needs to connect to others. I'll be listening to that later with my hus.

Quote:

I'll add that it's giving over time and even when it's not convenient etc. It's giving of our time and energy and hopefully only after thought goes into it to discover what the individual needs as opposed to what we think they need.

---

I kind of agree, but in my naivety I'll add that I don't think love is actually about giving or taking.

You talk about giving time and energy... I think that in a real love relationship, giving and taking (especially the concept of giving up, as if you're making a sacrifice) are nowhere in the lovers' minds, because the relationship is based on shared being, unconditional acceptance of the other's state of being, and awe and joy to be in the presence of such being.  In such a relationship every moment together is sacred.  This is one of the rarest things in the world but I think it does exist, and I have experienced the power of just being in awe of being around someone and sharing the same space with her, hearing the sound of her voice, feeling her energy when she got close to me. 


Real love is what happens when a relationship is not between two minds, but between two hearts sharing one frequency.  Some really mushy stuff, but it's how I honestly feel so I've gotta share it.  But I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I have never been in a long-term relationship.

Anyway, good thread.

Peace and much love

Quote:

Real love is what happens when a relationship is not between two minds, but between two hearts sharing one frequency.  Some really mushy stuff, but it's how I honestly feel so I've gotta share it.  But I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I have never been in a long-term relationship.

Anyway, good thread.

Peace and much love

---

Thanks bug...you're a sweetheart!

I hope that love encompasses joining of minds, bodies, hearts and souls. Becoming one doesn't mean two halves in my mind but rather, a partnership of two complete selves that fit like puzzle pieces.

Yes, I still say it requires sacrifice sometimes b/c the needs of the two don't always fall into place..there are conflicts to be resolved with one giving in or both making a compromise but something has to "give"...that's a flexible relationship.

Things that aren't flexible will snap under pressure instead of bending to weather the (hopefully only) regular stresses of life cus there ain't no avoiding them.

The awe is at the start and that's to be expected. It fades after waking up with morning-breath and accompanying your partner to go give birth and dealing with the tired/hormonal being the awesome one turned into...
One learns that love had better be based on a lot more than "just" that light-headed first stage. It's fun and beautiful but after time goes by one's relationship is so much more.

It's based on shared experiences and mutual appreciation of things and each other. It's based on acceptance of the other's foibles and imperfections and their attempts not to be too in-yer-face with them if they can't change 'em.

It happens with time and when I say giving I mean giving the other the support and kind words, the shoulder to cry on. Sharing too, the knowing look when the teen says something ridiculous, the joke no one else gets, up times, down times and weathering it all because you're in it together.

I was motivated to start this thread to get input from others and I've gotten some good stuff from you and others...virtual group therapy! lol

Wishing us all long-term joining with another soul...giving of one's self b/c that's why we're here imo.

for the kudos man...I'm enjoying this thread too.

skcorrelyt said:

i was in love once. it was the best year of my life.
the relationship didn't end bad and if we didn't go away to college it probably could've worked out some how.
it can probably work out now. but i think right now we both need our space. and maybe some day it will work out again.

its a longer story and a little fucked up..
but it was love. we both admit it now even. and from time to time we talk and still laugh together.. though its not love anymore.

i am fairly certain love exists.. and i feel like i've loved a lot of people.. but some more so than others.




people say when you're young you don't really love, but thats shit. no one can tell you that. love is love and you know when you feel it.
just because it might not work out perfectly when your young doesnt mean its not love, you gotta start learning somewheres.. (in my humble opinion) i'm not trying to rile anyone up here.

love is love.. and its the best thing in the world when you find it.. and i hope it can work out for all ya.


edit: correction.

---

This sounds very honest and from-the-heart and I appreciate that you posted it here.
Young love isn't always superficial.

Good luck in college and if you're cards come up together...I wish you both beautiful accomplishments shared and as individuals.
MIC

skcorrelyt said:

thank ya kindly

---

And btw for y'all to see...
asedatednation said the following in a current thread called "girls...sex" and I quote it here as it applies here as well and I what he said (I italicized the quote):

you have to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone. I spent 2 years without a girlfriend before i met my wife, because its what i needed to do. I had to take time to learn about myself, and learn what I REALLY wanted (and become happy with living alone). If you arent happy living without someone, then you will never be happy living with them.

If what you are looking for is your soul mate, then be patient, and dont settle for just any old girl. life will bring her to you when you both are ready. when i met my wife, she was my best friend for several months. we both liked each other but wouldnt say it, but we hung out every day. so when we finally took the step from being friends to more than friends, it was easy... it just felt right. and she is still first and foremost my best friend today.

Make a list of all the characteristics you want in your ideal woman. then dont settle for anything less than that... it takes time, but trust me, if that's what you're looking for then you will find it. you just need to be patient until it happens.


Isn't he just so together? I got to rate him first too! lol

MOTH said:

Love is freedom.

---

mycelismymind said:

love is comprised of intimacy, passion and commitment, and is always selfless

---

Well, that sums it up nicely...
Now tell me how you cultivate this under pressure..when the going gets tough...
Selfless comes in handy then, that's for sure.
Thanx for the input!

Quote:

Selfless comes in handy then, that's for sure.

---