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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
Female


Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Define "love" for me if you please... * 1
    #7545036 - 10/21/07 10:48 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Have you felt the real thing :heart: and how do you know?

Have you felt lust/longing and thought it was love?

What do you do to maintain/nurture your love relationship?

Thanks for the input...feel free to joke about it but I'd like some honest replies as well y'all. :thumbup:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7545058 - 10/21/07 10:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
Have you felt the real thing :heart: and how do you know?

Have you felt lust/longing and thought it was love?

What do you do to maintain/nurture your love relationship?

Thanks for the input...feel free to joke about it but I'd like some honest replies as well y'all. :thumbup:




I love a girl. She doesn't love me. Love's a bitch, and gravity's a bastard :banghead:

I love you InnerChild :japsmile:


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OfflineHyper_Panda_GO
Team Action!


Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7545059 - 10/21/07 10:54 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Anal sex


--------------------
There is no valid reason you should be reading this


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Invisibleblkjkrabbit

Registered: 07/22/07
Posts: 4,971
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Hyper_Panda_GO] * 1
    #7545065 - 10/21/07 10:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Hyper_Panda_GO said:
Anal sex




fueled by ketamine, right?

damn dude anal sex is your answer a lot of the time :rofl:


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InvisiblePJDIDDLE
Female
Registered: 10/17/02
Posts: 2,837
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... *DELETED* [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7545103 - 10/21/07 11:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Post deleted by Script

Reason for deletion: .



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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
Female


Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: blkjkrabbit] * 1
    #7545137 - 10/21/07 11:14 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:


I love you InnerChild :japsmile:




Why, :thanx: how kind! Same back atcha! :heart:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
Female


Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: PJDIDDLE] * 1
    #7545154 - 10/21/07 11:19 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Script said:
I have been, and still am in love with someone.  Love made me an irrational being, and an overall bad person.  Strong love doesn’t combine well with low self control and a wandering mind.

And im left with the pain of one sided love.  But it’s deserving, so I don’t feel bad for myself.

I just hope that if it ever happens again I can be a different person.  If not, I’d rather die alone.




Wow, this is vulnerability! If you can be this introspective and honest then you're a keeper man and I bless you that you should find that soul-mate in the right time whenever that will be. :thumbup:

Btw, I relate the the mind-wandering thing....


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/21/07 11:20 PM)


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 14 hours, 40 minutes
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7545230 - 10/21/07 11:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is the definition...


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Offlinechubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
Male

Registered: 04/02/04
Posts: 525
Loc: everywhere
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: wrestler_az] * 1
    #7545348 - 10/22/07 12:07 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is not what most people think it is. most people's idea of love comes from their parents or TV/music and sadly, is very dysfunctional. most people think the urge they have to fuck/kiss/dominate/control/command etc. is love. it is not. it is what we are told by the ignorant to see as love. but...

"Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form."

if you are still enough, mentally motionless, then you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form (feel, not think about!). then you can feel the same life deep within every other human and creature. it this state you look beyond the veil of form and separation. this is the realization of oneness. this is Love :smile:


--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me :smile:


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InvisibleantiPock
fighting entropy
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Registered: 07/09/07
Posts: 2,509
Loc: Sol 3
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: chubbycharley] * 1
    #7545420 - 10/22/07 12:40 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is when your heart melts and runs out the end of your peter.

thats what my grandad told me, anyway.


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Offlineevolprim
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Registered: 05/07/06
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: antiPock] * 1
    #7545430 - 10/22/07 12:44 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

haha i like that definition. i


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InvisibleCheezit
Feel like aStranger

Registered: 10/19/07
Posts: 843
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7545432 - 10/22/07 12:45 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

To many people treat love like an addiction. Miserably living fighting bickering nonstop. Love with out the attachment is whats up for the ultimate happiness. Love is the last relationship, the rest are all just practice.


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OfflineHyper_Panda_GO
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Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 9,720
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: blkjkrabbit] * 1
    #7545481 - 10/22/07 01:05 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Is there another kind of anal sex?

Lolz, jk

Only drug I've ever been on when getting fucked was mushrooms and cocaine

Fun shit, being a teenager and lying about your age on craigslist


--------------------
There is no valid reason you should be reading this


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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
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Registered: 11/11/06
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Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: chubbycharley] * 1
    #7548190 - 10/22/07 06:28 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

chubbycharley said:
love is not what most people think it is. most people's idea of love comes from their parents or TV/music and sadly, is very dysfunctional. most people think the urge they have to fuck/kiss/dominate/control/command etc. is love. it is not. it is what we are told by the ignorant to see as love. but...

"Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form."

if you are still enough, mentally motionless, then you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form (feel, not think about!). then you can feel the same life deep within every other human and creature. it this state you look beyond the veil of form and separation. this is the realization of oneness. this is Love :smile:




I strongly agree with the 1st part and have to think more and experiment into the 2nd. Thanx and I deeply appreciate the input man, I really do! <3

The rest of you guys: Please answer this: What do you do to maintain/nurture your love relationship?


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/22/07 06:31 PM)


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InvisiblePenguarky Tunguin
f n o r d
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Posts: 17,192
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7548523 - 10/22/07 07:31 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Love is being able to say: No, don't stop. Not: No. Don't. Stop.


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.


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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Penguarky Tunguin] * 1
    #7548577 - 10/22/07 07:43 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Haha, that's pretty solid. :thumbup:

To me, love is something of a slight intangible.  Most words are difficult enough to define in their own right, let alone a word attributed to a human emotion/experience.  If you choose to love, you might have a fighting chance of drawing your own conclusions as to what sorts of reality will coincide with an experience so widely and subjectively interpreted.  I engaged in a discourse on love in our Philosophy & Spirituality forum about a year ago when I found myself falling into it for the first time in a very long while.  I think that in the midst of the conversation I did ample justice to my own definitions of love, and plenty of other members had some great things to say as well.  If you're interested:

The Trouble of Love - To Love is To Live





--------------------

--------------------
··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
Female


Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: geokills] * 1
    #7551714 - 10/23/07 04:44 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

thanks Geo~That thread has a lot to say and y'all added a lot of what I wanted to know. :thumbup:


Communication...making the other happy and not looking to see if they're doing the same.

My husband stuck with me but recently told me after 23 years that he never loved me. He thought he was marrying one person and when he discovered that when I'm excited, I interrupt and I HATE being criticized. He was shocked.

So now I wonder if I'll ever be loved by a man. I had lustful short relationships (see my journal about my younger days' pursuing young men for sexual encounters) but never felt truly attached to anyone.

If I divorced I know I'd be constantly quoting hus and I'd miss the creative interesting person he is. I wouldn't miss the pressure of his expectations and disappointment when I don't come through the way he wants me to. He's tough and demanding of himself and expects others to do the same.

He only touches me in bed.

I long for hugs as well as sex. Typical women that last way eh?

Thanks for "listening". Excuse the whining. Things are going three steps forward and two steps back so the progress is slow and hard to detect. Our mentor with whom we met last night says he sees improvement.

I want to be loved...for me now not just who he hopes I'll be after I get "fixed" with medication counseling and personality adjustments. I'll try again. I'll put in the effort but I can't help but feel rejected. He wants someone else and since he can't have someone else he wants me to be that person if I can be. I can try but I sure feel worried that if I fail to satisfy him I'll be out on my butt. The mentor says that's not the case but I don't agree. What will change then? I'm still me!

I'll try. Again.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Invisiblelaska
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Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 634
Loc: California
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7551813 - 10/23/07 04:57 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love
is having someone to share your life with.
The good, the bad and the in between.
Through stuffy noses and no money to
long embraces and elaborate gifts.
It's definitely been a ride for me so far.
But i wouldn't change a single thing.
I dropped my guard about a year and half ago, for the first time in my life, and I haven't looked back since.
:heart:


--------------------


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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
Female


Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: laska] * 1
    #7551833 - 10/23/07 05:02 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

laska...describe how dropping your gaurd manifested itself in deed, or nom-deeds if you please.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Invisiblelaska
Stranger
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Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 634
Loc: California
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild] * 1
    #7551863 - 10/23/07 05:15 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
laska...describe how dropping your gaurd manifested itself in deed, or nom-deeds if you please.




not too sure of the question.

Basically, if i understood you right here's my answer :blush:

I was in Europe visiting family for almost 3 months.
I came back and found out a guy I liked was murdered.
I finally realized after 20 years of living that life is too short to look and not feel.
I met Suimush at a job I started and I really liked him. It was the first time in a while that i actually liked someone.
I went for it and we just clicked.

A year a half later were still spending every day together. And i couldn't be happier.
He's my best friend and so much more.

:heart:

wow - gush much, but hey the threads about love. :flowers:


--------------------


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InvisibleDNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7552406 - 10/23/07 07:28 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Love is a nice word for the chemical reactions that occur in our brains as an evolutionary product of our need to reproduce. We, as humans, are blessed with free will. Unfortunately this free will can get in the way of the continuation of our species. The solution? A chemical reaction ("emotion") that can override that willpower, and even common sense, to carry out the act of reproduction. You people like to call this "love".


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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
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Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: laska]
    #7555382 - 10/24/07 03:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:



A year a half later were still spending every day together. And i couldn't be happier.
He's my best friend and so much more.

:heart:

wow - gush much, but hey the threads about love. :flowers:




Gush mush is fine w/me...a born romantic comedy fan.

When you said you dropped your gaurd did you mean you allowed yourself to be vulnerable? Did you mean you allowed yourself to feel for another person again after your painful experience?

Are you married or "just" in a committed realationship? I put it in quotes b/c I know that marriage doesn't always signify a life-long commitment.

I adopted your journal posting about life-goals to my own personal data and love it! I showed it to my hus and he was very impressed too btw. :thanx:  !!

DNKYD~ Wasn't thak kind of God to create that chemical reaction so that we, his crearion, can have GR8 sex? It's a gift man!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/24/07 03:11 PM)


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Invisiblelaska
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Registered: 09/18/06
Posts: 634
Loc: California
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7556350 - 10/24/07 06:25 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

yeah, i let myself be open, show another person who I am and be honest.
Were not married. But we plan on being together for however long life lets us i suppose.

thanks again, and thanks also for the journal compliment.


--------------------


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OfflineNewbieS
User of semicolons.
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7556787 - 10/24/07 08:16 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

If you felt love you'd know it.  Bottom line.  :wink:


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OfflineMyInnerChild
EveryMum
Female


Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Newbie]
    #7557317 - 10/24/07 10:12 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

NewbieShroomie said:
If you felt love you'd know it.  Bottom line.  :wink:




~NS...tell me what you do to nurture your love realationship(s) if you please. :thanx:

~Laska, imo you're a Shroomery elite chick. :thumbup:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7557331 - 10/24/07 10:16 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

nurturing a love relationship...

taking your partners wants and needs into consideration when making decisions. thats about it, isnt it?


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Invisiblemushbaby
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 09/30/06
Posts: 2,645
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Newbie]
    #7557334 - 10/24/07 10:16 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Define love hunh? Not that easy for me.

Now love between friends, that I got. I'm good at that.

Romantic love? I suck at it. I try and I'm good at faking but not really good at the reality.

I'm kind of where you are MIC. A crossroads, almost a dilemma. Should you accept less than perfection and work at it? Or quit and try for the fantasy of perfection? Does that fantasy actually exist or is it indeed really just a fantasy?

You've caught me in a contemplative mood. This has been a question I have been asking myself for almost a year now.

If I get an answer I'll let you know. If you figure it out, please tell me!


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InvisibleLayYouIn
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Registered: 09/28/06
Posts: 4,402
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7557341 - 10/24/07 10:20 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i once read something that said love was just a bunch of chemicals in the brain reacting all at the same time due to certain circumstances....damn my reading...

edit:
Quote:

DNKYD said:
Love is a nice word for the chemical reactions that occur in our brains as an evolutionary product of our need to reproduce. We, as humans, are blessed with free will. Unfortunately this free will can get in the way of the continuation of our species. The solution? A chemical reaction ("emotion") that can override that willpower, and even common sense, to carry out the act of reproduction. You people like to call this "love".




didn't see that...


Edited by LayYouIn (10/24/07 10:21 PM)


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: LayYouIn]
    #7557347 - 10/24/07 10:22 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

you could go a step further and define every day reality in the same way...


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleLayYouIn
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #7557363 - 10/24/07 10:27 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
you could go a step further and define every day reality in the same way...




not really. correct me if im wrong.


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: LayYouIn]
    #7557377 - 10/24/07 10:30 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LayYouIn said:
Quote:

wrestler_az said:
you could go a step further and define every day reality in the same way...




not really. correct me if im wrong.




well, what is our perception of reality but chemicals in the brain? weather it be love, what color something is, how food tastes, hot, cold etc.... all just a bunch of chemicals floating around in the brain...


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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InvisibleLayYouIn
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Posts: 4,402
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #7557383 - 10/24/07 10:31 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
Quote:

LayYouIn said:
Quote:

wrestler_az said:
you could go a step further and define every day reality in the same way...




not really. correct me if im wrong.




well, what is our perception of reality but chemicals in the brain? weather it be love, what color something is, how food tastes, hot, cold etc.... all just a bunch of chemicals floating around in the brain...




i guess so. i like it.


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InvisibleDNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 12,326
Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #7557572 - 10/24/07 11:47 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
Quote:

LayYouIn said:
Quote:

wrestler_az said:
you could go a step further and define every day reality in the same way...




not really. correct me if im wrong.




well, what is our perception of reality but chemicals in the brain? weather it be love, what color something is, how food tastes, hot, cold etc.... all just a bunch of chemicals floating around in the brain...




Would that not just be our "perception" of reality, like you say, and not reality itself?


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Offlinewrestler_az
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: DNKYD]
    #7557589 - 10/25/07 12:02 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

well, not to hijack the thread....

but the way i see it its one in the same. perception is reality, aid vise versa.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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OfflineTsion
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #7557715 - 10/25/07 01:02 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.
L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.


--------------------
“Why does Hello Kitty drive us to kill? Is it the cute little bow or the dead, soulless eyes?”


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: wrestler_az]
    #7561096 - 10/25/07 10:25 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

wrestler_az said:
nurturing a love relationship...

taking your partners wants and needs into consideration when making decisions. thats about it, isnt it?



I LOVE :heart: this reply!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: mushbaby]
    #7561105 - 10/25/07 10:28 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

If you figure it out, please tell me!



It's a personal road to go down...but if you survive with your heart in tact, full of love and yet not ruling your body if you know what I mean, then I think you won.
:heart: to you from this friend!
MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7563188 - 10/26/07 12:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Any others want to be vulnerable here about recognizing and nurturing ones love for a (hopfully) life's partner?
Go for it! :heart:
Have a gr8 week-end y'all.
MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleEgo Death
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7563213 - 10/26/07 12:43 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Love = Obsession

A chemical alteration in the brain which cause inf-actuation.


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InvisibleClean
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7563226 - 10/26/07 12:46 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

:heartpump:real love transcends all boundaries, and all perceptions of boundaries :heartpump:


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InvisibleFungusMan
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7563233 - 10/26/07 12:47 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

As relating to another human, you know your in love when you cant see yourself happy without them in your life. I married my HS Sweetheart, and am 25. No regrets. Take chances, leave regrets, and dont judge by the gut response. I hated my wife for the first year I knew her. The feeling was mutual. But, life had a way of changing perspectives...
My most important piece of advice: Dont worry about a relationship unless your comfortable and learn to be happy single and/or alone.Once you achieve true independence, then you have more to offer and recieve in a long term relationship. Lifes too short. Have fun, and be safe...


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Offlinechubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7563242 - 10/26/07 12:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i think some people will disagree with me here, but love is not an emotion. we would like to think so, and by we i mean our needy, self obsessed, fearful egos. love has nothing to do with our little ego dominated relationships, ones that are basically dominated by selfish needs and fear.

Quote:

well, what is our perception of reality but chemicals in the brain? weather it be (what we think is) love, what color something is, how food tastes, hot, cold etc.... all just a bunch of chemicals floating around in the brain...




yes. and love is the reason, the force, the action, the power, the god, the brain in which the chemical reactions happen.

love is all you need because love is all there is :heart:


--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me :smile:


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InvisibleDNKYD
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: chubbycharley]
    #7563338 - 10/26/07 01:13 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

chubbycharley said:
i think some people will disagree with me here, but love is not an emotion. we would like to think so, and by we i mean our needy, self obsessed, fearful egos.




Love is not an emotion? That's quite a new one on me. An emotion is a state of mind that is usually not brought about consciously, and accompanies psychological and physiological changes. The only reason we have these "needy, self obsessed, fearful egos" is because people take love from what it really is as an evolutionary tool to ensure the species continues, and turn it into some fantasy world with shit like consumerist holidays (Sweetest day), self-serving Cosmo articles, Match.com, and reality TV, among other things.

Quote:

love has nothing to do with our little ego dominated relationships, ones that are basically dominated by selfish needs and fear.




Wrong. Love has everything to do with relationships that will ultimately lead to procreation. Love has nothing to do with Bobby and Suzy who met on the TV show "Find me a Drunk Whore To Marry".


Quote:

yes. and love is the reason, the force, the action, the power, the god, the brain in which the chemical reactions happen.

love is all you need because love is all there is :heart:




Sounds like something a fantasizing ego would think. It was good for a laugh, though.


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Offlinechubbycharley
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: DNKYD]
    #7563435 - 10/26/07 01:43 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

hey man, it sounds like your scientific programming has gotten the best of you.

Quote:

An emotion is a state of mind that is usually not brought about consciously, and accompanies psychological and physiological changes.




that is why love is not an emotion. love is consciousness. no one who is aware or conscious would choose to be tortured by what most people are referring to as love. what we feel when we are free from emotions is love.

Quote:

The only reason we have these "needy, self obsessed, fearful egos" is because people take love from what it really is as an evolutionary tool to ensure the species continues, and turn it into some fantasy world with shit like consumerist holidays (Sweetest day), self-serving Cosmo articles, Match.com, and reality TV, among other things.




i think you are confusing love with sex. here try this:

Quote:

The only reason we have these "needy, self obsessed, fearful egos" is because people take *sex* from what it really is as an evolutionary tool to ensure the species continues, and turn it into some fantasy world with shit like consumerist holidays (Sweetest day), self-serving Cosmo articles, Match.com, and reality TV, among other things.


 

that i can agree with.

Quote:

Wrong. Love has everything to do with relationships that will ultimately lead to procreation.




what do you mean by love? if it is sex then you are spot on. can you think anything other when you see all these 14yo girls with babies who thought they knew what love was? i went to a high school that has a nursery. let me tell you, those girls have no idea what love is. but they sure as hell know what sex is.


Quote:

Sounds like something a fantasizing ego would think. It was good for a laugh, though.




i'm glad i could entertain :laugh: :mattz: :laugh:


--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me :smile:


Edited by chubbycharley (10/26/07 01:45 PM)


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InvisibleDNKYD
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: chubbycharley]
    #7563536 - 10/26/07 02:19 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

No, no. You're the one confusing love and sex. I'll quote from my original post:

Quote:

Love is a nice word for the chemical reactions that occur in our brains as an evolutionary product of our need to reproduce. We, as humans, are blessed with free will. Unfortunately this free will can get in the way of the continuation of our species. The solution? A chemical reaction ("emotion") that can override that willpower, and even common sense, to carry out the act of reproduction. You people like to call this "love".




"Love is consciousness" is some bullshit new-age rhetoric. Love is an emotion. When people feel like they are in love certain changes take place in their body to make them ready for reproduction. It's all about the continuation of species. Love is just one of many emotions that helps human beings carry out that task.


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InvisibleShroomismM
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: DNKYD]
    #7563715 - 10/26/07 03:25 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Love is the polar opposite of Fear. Love is a frequency.


--------------------


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OfflineGoaM
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Shroomism]
    #7566311 - 10/27/07 10:27 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

...temporary insanity.

pz,

G


--------------------
 


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InvisibleTODAY
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7566343 - 10/27/07 10:38 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

there are different definitions of love. I have never loved anybody. I like my family and I like my friends but I don't love anybody, to the best of my knowledge.


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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OfflineColbadol
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7566896 - 10/27/07 02:10 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)
Log in to view attachment

I have been in love
I have had my heart broken, but never lost the love.

There are TONS of songs which illustrate the nature of love.
Ever heard Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen (fantastic cover done by Jeff Buckley)? The last stanza is most important.


i heard there was a secret chord
that david played and it pleased the lord
but you don't really care for music, do you
well it goes like this the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift
the baffled king composing hallelujah

hallelujah...

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

hallelujah...

baby i've been here before
i've seen this room and i've walked this floor
i used to live alone before i knew you
i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...

well there was a time when you let me know
what's really going on below
but now you never show that to me do you
but remember when i moved in you
and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah

well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah


hallelujah...


--------------------


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: FungusMan]
    #7568092 - 10/27/07 09:45 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Dont worry about a relationship unless your comfortable and learn to be happy single and/or alone.Once you achieve true independence, then you have more to offer and recieve in a long term relationship. Lifes too short. Have fun, and be safe...




Thanks man...I really appreciate your perspective. I'm 20 years older than you and needed you to enlighten me this way, I'm embarassed to  say it but I had a stooopid romantic concept of love that my Mum and 70's T.V. programmed into my brain...damn! (the media tells us the same crap lies now, but with the added "fact" that she has to be SKINNY too lol)

My outer adult tells my inner child: "Let's start fresh!" :laugh:
:thumbup: :thanx:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleLayYouIn
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: FungusMan]
    #7568111 - 10/27/07 09:55 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

FungusMan said:
Dont worry about a relationship unless your comfortable and learn to be happy single and/or alone.




i completely agree with this. i've been single for two years now and im happy. i want a girlfriend but i wont sell myself short.


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Colbadol]
    #7568116 - 10/27/07 09:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:


well, maybe there's a god above
but all i've ever learned from love
was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you
it's not a cry that you hear at night
it's not somebody who's seen the light
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

hallelujah...




Well, My overly-romantic Mum "loved" L.C. so I can only damn him with the rest of the depressing message you sent me here...you know he died a genius but a broken alcoholic right? I don't want to be or drink from and internalize the downer messages of the likes of Vango or the one you mentioned here, Cohen.

What I do want is pure if complicated love. That's the nature of the beast, to be complicated.

I want to give. I want to be understood and appreciated.

I don't only want great sex or I'd be extremely satisfied already as what we have in that dept. is ironically unbelievably mind-blowing.

Thank you so much for trying though. you did a lot of typing there and I appreciate the time and effort.
Keep Truuck'in.
MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/27/07 09:58 PM)


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OfflineLocus
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568121 - 10/27/07 09:58 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is a bunch of chemicals in the brain just like everything else that we perceive :smirk:


--------------------

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe



~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~

*Check my profile to listen to my music* :smile:


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Locus]
    #7568135 - 10/27/07 10:03 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Locus said:
love is a bunch of chemicals in the brain just like everything else that we perceive :smirk:




Locus needs a bj badly. lol Love ya man! :heart:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleMerkin
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568171 - 10/27/07 10:18 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

real love is pure bliss ~


--------------------
Wheels of cheese wheeels of cheeeeese!!!


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Merkin]
    #7568415 - 10/28/07 12:24 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Merkin said:
real love is pure bliss ~




Real good sex is pure bliss while real love can hurt sometimes...it's not always easy street but you stick with your partner anyway cuz your love brings you above the pettiness and superficiality of needing it to always be bliss..imo and I'll add that a real good trip is the same, for me anyway. The beauty is in the acceptance that it's not perfect and the bliss stems from that acceptance.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/28/07 12:25 AM)


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OfflineMuffin
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568468 - 10/28/07 12:46 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Holy crap...Love is am emotion not freaking magic. mankind has a need to make things more powerful than they really are (Cough! God, Cough) Love is not a switch that turns off and on, it not like one day your walking around with a person you like a lot one second and then BAM, out of nowhere, LOVE! Love is an emotion that has a Grey area, you love someone when YOU decide what you are feeling is love. It's subjective to the person feeling it. What you may call love, I might call "I like you a lot" and visa-versa. Oh, and that one guy is totally right, its all chemical reactions anyway. People in here of all places should know that chemicals change the way people think. Just because you would change your natural instincts to die for someone you "Love" Doesn't mean it is magically above all other things. That being said, I really love my Guinea Piggies! Their so freaking cute!


--------------------


Civil disobedience is insufficient.


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568473 - 10/28/07 12:48 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Hmmm nice post, I need to look at my love situation in this light, should help with some timing issues and the wait involved.

Thank you.


--------------------


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: ReposadoXochipilli]
    #7568494 - 10/28/07 12:53 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Muffin~ That was an emotionally charged post if I ever posted one...lol...as I'm usually the one to get strong about my opinions but when it comes to love, well, I guess I'm the noob around here.
Btw...ich hob a guinea schvine ochet. (I also have a g.p.) Mine is named Ginny Weasly. Wee wee wee all the way home! lol

LukeM etc.~What timing are you referring to man? Not asking her out b/f someone else did?..or wha? :laugh:

Come on people...check out my orig. post in this thread and answer is you ever felt lust and thought it was love...k? :thanx:


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/28/07 01:06 AM)


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OfflineMuffin
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568523 - 10/28/07 01:04 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah, I get like that, sorry....


--------------------


Civil disobedience is insufficient.


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Muffin]
    #7568559 - 10/28/07 01:22 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Muffin said:
Yeah, I get like that, sorry....




One thing you gotta know about this place...nobody appologizes...we just are what we are and only take back a wrong spelling or quoting the wrong source but even that's rare....lol
Take it easy and enjoy the space...some are uptight but most are welcoming and thought provoking. Tell it with as many exclaimation marks as you wish love. :heart: MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568564 - 10/28/07 01:26 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I met a wonderful man last fall, we fell in love and moved in together... He is older, has a sister with MS that he is supporting, it gets really complicated lol.

Ummm she is a bitch, mentally unstable and completely/unhealthily co dependent and very comfortable in this situation. He is a complete sweetheart, willing to sacrifice his now for her because he feels it is right. I supported his supporting her, but not in the way he was (letting her be a bitch) he is under a lot of stress with his business and life in general... I wanted everything right now haha.

So I moved out into my place, we did the off and on thing and are basically together but not officially, we play that role in each others lives. He has made move to resolve some stress in his life, mainly bought he a condo and going to move her out. He needs time to recharge and rethink, without me being in his face about it...

We both had and still have growing to do, I think in like 6 months or so we will be at a good place for one another.

And yea she has MS but it has been repressed for like 5 years and things, she is in her position now because of horrible life choices.

Anyways a novel later that is what I meant about timing and thinking about it like you would a trip, with the good comes the hard and if the end result is worth it then hold on. I am completely in love with him and am pretty confident we will be together for many many years.


--------------------


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OfflineReposadoXochipilli
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: ReposadoXochipilli]
    #7568569 - 10/28/07 01:31 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Shit that post was bad for word sequence and grammar, tired and sick.

Love is a crazy thing, the man in my post... we met for about 10 minuets then the next time I say him we crossed lines, turned out we in love... It happens, it doesn't make sense, but it will make you FEEL emotions more strongly then you could ever imagine until your in the thick of it.


--------------------


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: ReposadoXochipilli]
    #7568584 - 10/28/07 01:39 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

LukeMWSki said:
the man in my post... turned out we in love... It happens, it doesn't make sense, but it will make you FEEL emotions more strongly then you could ever imagine until your in the thick of it.




I'm pleased to have someone add input about being in love tho it's the same gender (personaly, I'd say I'm 98% straight)...any Shroomery women in love the way Luke is...same gender? The love issues remain pretty much the same dontcha think?

Good luck Luke... :heart:


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/28/07 01:42 AM)


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Invisiblemushbaby
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7568931 - 10/28/07 06:50 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
I don't only want great sex or I'd be extremely satisfied already as what we have in that dept. is ironically unbelievably mind-blowing.






Great sex really does have a way of obscuring a person's vision I think. A person (at least this person) tends to not question as much when they are recovering from a mindblowing orgasm. Too bad we can't spend every second in bed.


--------------------


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: mushbaby]
    #7569054 - 10/28/07 07:53 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

mushbaby said:
Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
I don't only want great sex or I'd be extremely satisfied already as what we have in that dept. is ironically unbelievably mind-blowing.






A person (at least this person) tends to not question as much when they are recovering from a mindblowing orgasm.  Too bad we can't spend every second in bed.




Oh Mush...you took the mush-words right out of my mouth there...lol We have too much in common it seems. :wink:

A thought on Lust and love:

You must agree that women give sex for love and men give love for sex...at first at least...till the relationship solidifies and hopefully we meet in the middle each giving both because we want the other to have as mind-blowing and warm and supportive an experience as we do...in bed and out of it...


Support? Sure, I support when he's on top and he supports when I am... :laugh: but seriously, I mean moral, friendship and acceptance support.

MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: GoaM]
    #7569072 - 10/28/07 08:03 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

GoaM said:
...temporary insanity.




..the temporary insanity isn't love, its the stuff that blocks it..imo


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7569124 - 10/28/07 08:31 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i shit on love


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: TODAY]
    #7569125 - 10/28/07 08:31 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TODAY said:
there are different definitions of love.  I have never loved anybody.  I like my family and I like my friends but I don't love anybody, to the best of my knowledge.




The inuit have doznes of words for snow ie: wet snow, dry snow icy snow etc. cuz it means a lot to them. It's part and parcle of thier lives. I've always felt that having so few words for love reflects sadly on our society. :frown:

Admiration isn't love but can go along with it...so can gratitude and adoration. Roamance isn't love but is a stage at the beginning that sometimes gets it's hour in the sun again as the relationship grows. :wink: Basically, we have one-word-fits-all like pantyhose and annoying panyhose they are! lol :laugh:

As far as not loving anybody...I sure hope you love yourself man, cuz if you don't do it...nobody else will, except parents...imo Not completly anyway...again, imo.

As an aside: My Mum said that about a woman watching her figure saying "If you don't do it..nobody else will"...cute overly-romantic woman that she is...God love 'er...and I do too! The two of them (God and Mum) and the Dad I love with whom she celebrated her 50th last year, had a three way of sorts, in a nice way...and made me what I am today....a human being w/a beating :heart: .


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7569482 - 10/28/07 11:30 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

You must agree that women give sex for love and men give love for sex...at first at least...till the relationship solidifies and hopefully we meet in the middle each giving both because we want the other to have as mind-blowing and warm and supportive an experience as we do...in bed and out of it...




This is an over-generalization, and not applicable to women and men who are comfortable defining their sexuality and their level of emotional intimacy as different aspects of their relationship. If we must "trade" love for sex, then we are enjoying and appreciating neither, IMO.


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
    #7570429 - 10/28/07 05:32 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I don't trade, personally and never did but the orig. attraction goes that way I feel for many...and you're right, not all...excuse the generalization.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/28/07 05:33 PM)


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7570522 - 10/28/07 06:05 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is fucking disgusting


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7570546 - 10/28/07 06:13 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

If most women give sex for love, then why do so many married women have affairs? To get more love, or to experience sex?

I think that sexual desire is a big motivator for both men and women, and that it may or may not be accompanied by love.


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Invisiblebort

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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
    #7570626 - 10/28/07 06:40 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

What about love?

Overrated.

Biochemically...

...no different than eating
large quantities of chocolate.


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: bort]
    #7570924 - 10/28/07 08:33 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Veritas~ I'm so glad you gave input and not just correction.

My earlier point was that, yes, and I'll risk saying generally, at the start of a relationship, a man is looking for his physical needs to be taken care of b/f his emotional needs and the opposite with a woman even though to an outside observer it sure looks like each side is receiving both.

They are receiving both if both sides understand the other's basic hierarchy of needs. It's simply a matter of different priorities that I was addressing. It's never as back and white as he gives x to get y and she gives y to get x.

I'm fully aware that there are exceptions to every generalization since each individual on the planet is a separate world unto his or her self. Thanks for the input, love.

I've received a lot of food for thought here. I thank each and every one of you who took the time to read and respond! Love ya! :heart:
XXXOOO MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf

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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7570941 - 10/28/07 08:39 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

oxytocin... look it up
like bridgelisa said, its all biochemical


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #7570998 - 10/28/07 08:56 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

ChiefGreenLeaf said:
oxytocin... look it up
like bridgelisa said, its all biochemical




Funny you should bring it up...in our house we call bringing on contractions with sex at the start of labour "oxytocin therapy" lol.

It ain't love but I appreciate the "boost" all the same! :smile: It also makes the milk come down during sex when it resumes some weeks after birth. That's a proven biological fact that she's effected by the oxytocin. This can be enhanced by her emotional/hormonal response to him but isn't dependant on it. She'll respond physically...as I do when I come. That ain't love. We love who we give to.

One would think that a mother of a special needs child would love that child less based on the extra time and effort they require but the opposite is often the case. therefore I conclude, and this is not based only on my personal observations:

The more you give the more you love.
:heart:

I started this post to get input to know:
1)What other's do to enhance thier love realtionships and
2)If y'all ever mistook lust for love.

No one has admitted to the second yet... hmm... :wink:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/28/07 09:00 PM)


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Offlinechubbycharley
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7572590 - 10/29/07 10:56 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love has nothing to do with interpersonal relationships, you people need to meditate more!

Quote:

I started this post to get input to know:
1)What other's do to enhance thier love realtionships and
2)If y'all ever mistook lust for love.




1)the true "love relationship", that which is between you and the universe, needs no enhancing as it is infinite. it is infinite because you and the universe are one. sometimes however, meditation is required to be still enough in your mind to notice these things.

2)i think most people have mistook lust for love. i think most people have mistook many emotions for love. hence you have all these people with fucked-up ideas of love.

lust is the emotion most confused for love. lust is the biochemical reaction most people are referring to as love. love is what allows us to have biochemical reactions in the first place. we are love.

Quote:

The more you give the more you love.




true giving is an act of emotional release and so leads to a state of emotional freedom or love. but, if you give with expectations to receive, that is perversion. that is wanting something someone else has, not realizing that what is wanted is already had.


--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me :smile:


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Offlinesome1whoisntme
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7572649 - 10/29/07 11:15 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
...That ain't love. We love who we give to.

The more you give the more you love.
:heart:





Very true. Love is an emotion that drives people to be selfless and help the recipient of their love in whatever way they can. I have never felt more strong feelings of love than when talking to a close friend, helping her through a confusing time. Love is unconditional and based on giving and sharing. That sounds way cheesey but seriously, I've only figured that out in the past few months.

I have most definitely experienced lust as well and mistaken it for love. Lust can seriously be a harder emotion to shake than love. I was sure I was in love with a girl once, but in retrospec,t she was simply an absolutely ideal mate and the blind lust I felt for her made me think I was in love. It looked like love to anyone else too. It wasn't love, but it was good times nonetheless. I've only been in love with one person, I think, and I knew it was love because I didn't have an especially strong desire to have sex with her, just to... feel love, I don't know. It's the strangest of human emotions and really escapes all attempts at explanation...


--------------------
"Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"


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InvisibleEternalCowabunga
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: some1whoisntme]
    #7572761 - 10/29/07 11:57 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is the timeless state of being that can be reached through meditation and sometimes when your heart is open in non-judgement. IMO it doesn't have to do anything with other people or external stimuli.


--------------------


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Offlineigwna
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #7572812 - 10/29/07 12:20 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is finding someone that matters.


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.



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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: igwna]
    #7572888 - 10/29/07 12:51 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)



--------------------
"Ignore the distortion you're forced to percieve and believe that what supercedes is love, but who agrees?"


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Offlinefantasylndvictm
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: some1whoisntme]
    #7573022 - 10/29/07 01:33 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

As bad as this might be I'm going to say somin from a movie, they said u know it's love when someone can know the absolute worst thing about u and it's ok....


--------------------
"How do we know whether the life of any creature has fulfilled its destiny? I have known the very old to die in bitterness and despair. I have seen young children die before their time but leave behind such a legacy of love and joy that grief for their passing was tempered by the knowledge that their brief lives had given much to others."
"You have answered your own question,Tanis Half-Elven, far better than I could," the Forestmaster said gravely. "Say that that our lives are measured not by gain but by giving." -Dragonlance "Dragons of Autumn Twilight"

If we lived in luxury we would grow soft.

No human being truely knows their full capacity to love until they become a parent.


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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: some1whoisntme]
    #7573365 - 10/29/07 03:30 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

So, we've come to the conclusion, correct me if I'm wrong...that the chemical reaction is lust...and the giving without looking to receive back, is love.

I'll add that it's giving over time and even when it's not convenient etc. It's giving of our time and energy and hopefully only after thought goes into it to discover what the individual needs as opposed to what we think they need.

I liked the ideas others added earlier about allowing oneself to vulnerable and putting the other person's needs before your own.

I'll add that it includes taking sometimes which isn't selfish b/c the significant other wants to give. Like eating something your spouse prepared to eat and thanking them (and clearing your place at the table!). :smile:

Communication is a biggie around here. I was criticized for years (my fault for not insisting otherwise) and I learned to block anything that sounded like criticism. Our communication became limited to business stuff like the car needing gas or a medical appointment coming up.

We're working on the vulnerability and communication now with a facilitator.

I lust for him. That's not the problem.


Almost a separate subject was brought up since I was talking about interpersonal relationships in this thread but the other subject is facinating asd well even though it's more appropriate for P.&S.

It's beautiful to be aware of one's connection to the universe. It brings forth feelings of love but I'd conjecture to say that, according to what I've learned that if the energy the love creates isn't channeled and put into action, ie: to protect and give of oneself to others, the earth, the weak and downtrodden, then it's energy that was gleaned but allowed to dissapate. Hopefully to be picked up by another being and brought to it's fruition. I'm conjecturing here big time. I don't know the working of the universe and don't pretend I do. PM me if you want to shmooze about this more.

Thanks to you all!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/29/07 03:32 PM)


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: fantasylndvictm]
    #7573384 - 10/29/07 03:36 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

fantasylndvictm said:
As bad as this might be I'm going to say somin from a movie, they said u know it's love when someone can know the absolute worst thing about u and it's ok....




That sounds like vulnerability to moi. :thumbup:

Some1~Thanks for the youtube piece. It's food for thought that applies here nicely. We crave to be understood. That's beyond basic survival. It's a higher level that speaks of quality of life, not  only existance but the thing inside us that needs to connect to others. I'll be listening to that later with my hus. :thanx:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/29/07 03:43 PM)


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OfflineLion
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7573447 - 10/29/07 03:58 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

I'll add that it's giving over time and even when it's not convenient etc. It's giving of our time and energy and hopefully only after thought goes into it to discover what the individual needs as opposed to what we think they need.


I kind of agree, but in my naivety I'll add that I don't think love is actually about giving or taking.

You talk about giving time and energy... I think that in a real love relationship, giving and taking (especially the concept of giving up, as if you're making a sacrifice) are nowhere in the lovers' minds, because the relationship is based on shared being, unconditional acceptance of the other's state of being, and awe and joy to be in the presence of such being.  In such a relationship every moment together is sacred.  This is one of the rarest things in the world but I think it does exist, and I have experienced the power of just being in awe of being around someone and sharing the same space with her, hearing the sound of her voice, feeling her energy when she got close to me. 


Real love is what happens when a relationship is not between two minds, but between two hearts sharing one frequency.  Some really mushy stuff, but it's how I honestly feel so I've gotta share it.  But I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I have never been in a long-term relationship.

Anyway, good thread. :laugh:

Peace and much love :heart:


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Lion]
    #7574410 - 10/29/07 08:42 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:




Real love is what happens when a relationship is not between two minds, but between two hearts sharing one frequency.  Some really mushy stuff, but it's how I honestly feel so I've gotta share it.  But I don't really know what I'm talking about, and I have never been in a long-term relationship.

Anyway, good thread. :laugh:

Peace and much love :heart:




Thanks bug...you're a sweetheart!

I hope that love encompasses joining of minds, bodies, hearts and souls. Becoming one doesn't mean two halves in my mind but rather, a partnership of two complete selves that fit like puzzle pieces.

Yes, I still say it requires sacrifice sometimes b/c the needs of the two don't always fall into place..there are conflicts to be resolved with one giving in or both making a compromise but something has to "give"...that's a flexible relationship.

Things that aren't flexible will snap under pressure instead of bending to weather the (hopefully only) regular stresses of life cus there ain't no avoiding them.

The awe is at the start and that's to be expected. It fades after waking up with morning-breath and accompanying your partner to go give birth and dealing with the tired/hormonal being the awesome one turned into... :smile:
One learns that love had better be based on a lot more than "just" that light-headed first stage. It's fun and beautiful but after time goes by one's relationship is so much more.

It's based on shared experiences and mutual appreciation of things and each other. It's based on acceptance of the other's foibles and imperfections and their attempts not to be too in-yer-face with them if they can't change 'em.

It happens with time and when I say giving I mean giving the other the support and kind words, the shoulder to cry on. Sharing too, the knowing look when the teen says something ridiculous, the joke no one else gets, up times, down times and weathering it all because you're in it together.

I was motivated to start this thread to get input from others and I've gotten some good stuff from you and others...virtual group therapy! lol

Wishing us all long-term joining with another soul...giving of one's self b/c that's why we're here imo.

:thanx: for the kudos man...I'm enjoying this thread too.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/29/07 08:54 PM)


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Offlineigwna
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7574444 - 10/29/07 08:50 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

i was in love once. it was the best year of my life.
the relationship didn't end bad and if we didn't go away to college it probably could've worked out some how.
it can probably work out now. but i think right now we both need our space. and maybe some day it will work out again. :wink:

its a longer story and a little fucked up..
but it was love. we both admit it now even. and from time to time we talk and still laugh together.. though its not love anymore. :tongue:

i am fairly certain love exists.. and i feel like i've loved a lot of people.. but some more so than others.




people say when you're young you don't really love, but thats shit. no one can tell you that. love is love and you know when you feel it.
just because it might not work out perfectly when your young doesnt mean its not love, you gotta start learning somewheres.. (in my humble opinion) i'm not trying to rile anyone up here.

love is love.. and its the best thing in the world when you find it.. and i hope it can work out for all ya.


edit: correction.


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.



Edited by igwna (10/29/07 08:51 PM)


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: igwna]
    #7574491 - 10/29/07 09:00 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

skcorrelyt said:
i was in love once. it was the best year of my life.
the relationship didn't end bad and if we didn't go away to college it probably could've worked out some how.
it can probably work out now. but i think right now we both need our space. and maybe some day it will work out again. :wink:

its a longer story and a little fucked up..
but it was love. we both admit it now even. and from time to time we talk and still laugh together.. though its not love anymore. :tongue:

i am fairly certain love exists.. and i feel like i've loved a lot of people.. but some more so than others.




people say when you're young you don't really love, but thats shit. no one can tell you that. love is love and you know when you feel it.
just because it might not work out perfectly when your young doesnt mean its not love, you gotta start learning somewheres.. (in my humble opinion) i'm not trying to rile anyone up here.

love is love.. and its the best thing in the world when you find it.. and i hope it can work out for all ya.


edit: correction.




This sounds very honest and from-the-heart and I appreciate that you posted it here.
Young love isn't always superficial.

Good luck in college and if you're cards come up together...I wish you both beautiful accomplishments shared and as individuals. :peace:
MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Offlineigwna
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7574556 - 10/29/07 09:19 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

thank ya kindly :smile:


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.



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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: igwna]
    #7574661 - 10/29/07 09:49 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

skcorrelyt said:
thank ya kindly :smile:




:thumbup:

And btw for y'all to see...
asedatednation said the following in a current thread called "girls...sex" and I quote it here as it applies here as well and I :heart: what he said (I italicized the quote):

you have to learn to be happy alone before you can be happy with someone. I spent 2 years without a girlfriend before i met my wife, because its what i needed to do. I had to take time to learn about myself, and learn what I REALLY wanted (and become happy with living alone). If you arent happy living without someone, then you will never be happy living with them.

If what you are looking for is your soul mate, then be patient, and dont settle for just any old girl. life will bring her to you when you both are ready. when i met my wife, she was my best friend for several months. we both liked each other but wouldnt say it, but we hung out every day. so when we finally took the step from being friends to more than friends, it was easy... it just felt right. and she is still first and foremost my best friend today.

Make a list of all the characteristics you want in your ideal woman. then dont settle for anything less than that... it takes time, but trust me, if that's what you're looking for then you will find it. you just need to be patient until it happens.



Isn't he just so together? I got to rate him first too! lol


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7574759 - 10/29/07 10:06 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Love is freedom.


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MOTH]
    #7574884 - 10/29/07 10:45 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
Love is freedom.



Really? Is it now... wellll that's food for thought too...


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7575381 - 10/30/07 03:49 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

As of 1:47am on Oct. 30th MIC and Fixer became one of, if not the only husband-wife pair of Shroomerites to become grandparents!


Update as of 4:00am...Baby has lots of brown hair...

Our daughter described the experience of birth saying she was "elated" the first time she saw her baby. Along with initial bonding...baby was nursing well. I got off the phone when they came to weigh her....
At 5:00 we heard the baby weighed in @: 7 1/2 lbs. Healthy baby healthy mother.

I celebrated with a bowlful and acted goofy over seeing the first pics our son-in-law brought over but, no one noticed anything. They know that's how I get whenever I get mega-enthusiastic over anything. 

I'll bring some cake to school tomorrow to share with my colleagues and send some to my hus's school too. Our son-in-law is one special guy! Our daughter is a trooper big time and we're so happy for both of them and everyone from our families on all sides. Multi-faceted family...shine on...!

Will post pics to my journal within the week.

Pleased to share the news with y'all!

~MIC
(I posted this as a separate thread but wanted you lot to see this especially)... :heart:


Edited by MyInnerChild (10/30/07 03:51 AM)


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Offlinedruqs
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7575404 - 10/30/07 04:26 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

love is comprised of intimacy, passion and commitment, and is always selfless


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: druqs]
    #7578254 - 10/30/07 08:08 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

mycelismymind said:
love is comprised of intimacy, passion and commitment, and is always selfless



Well, that sums it up nicely...
Now tell me how you cultivate this under pressure..when the going gets tough...
Selfless comes in handy then, that's for sure.
Thanx for the input! :thumbup:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7581496 - 10/31/07 04:24 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

I became a grandmother yesterday and I gotta say I can't explain the love i felt for that little baby less than a day old that was palpable as I held her. There's a connection I felt. There's the beauty of a new born too but it's beyond that. She happens to be a very  pretty baby objectively speaking and I've seen enough to be able to say that even though you might think I can't say any diff cuz I'm the grandma.

You've all given food for thought and solid advice/perspectives and I just want to say :thanx: to y'all...and...BOO! lol
Life's a trip...


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineLion
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7581536 - 10/31/07 04:34 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Selfless comes in handy then, that's for sure.


:D


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Lion]
    #7584358 - 11/01/07 02:53 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Hey BUG...Nice new avatar man :thumbup:  .
I was thinking of changing mine...and post pics of me w/my little 2 day old girlie!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineLion
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7584415 - 11/01/07 03:14 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

That would be very cool. :hug:

Two days old???  Wha-??  I could've sworn you were posting here two days ago.

I can only think of really sappy things to say.  Babies... their beauty makes the whole human adventure worthwhile.  I hope you enjoy her company and that she grows up into a strong, healthy, open minded and open hearted individual.  :hippie:


--------------------
“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Lion]
    #7585026 - 11/01/07 05:59 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

bug said:
That would be very cool. :hug:

Two days old???  Wha-??  I could've sworn you were posting here two days ago.

I can only think of really sappy things to say.  Babies... their beauty makes the whole human adventure worthwhile.  I hope you enjoy her company and that she grows up into a strong, healthy, open minded and open hearted individual.  :hippie:




What a bee-you-tee-full thing to say bug!

The baby isn't mine from my body but rather, imagine a Russian nesting doll..there's my Mum, open her doll up and there's me, open my doll up and there's my eldest, and from her, two days ago, came a lovely little girl...who I referred to as mine and that's the one I was posting about. Sorry if I was too vague.

Hugs to y'all! Have a great week-end.
MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7585101 - 11/01/07 06:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
I became a grandmother yesterday and I gotta say I can't explain the love i felt for that little baby less than a day old that was palpable as I held her. There's a connection I felt. There's the beauty of a new born too but it's beyond that. She happens to be a very  pretty baby objectively speaking and I've seen enough to be able to say that even though you might think I can't say any diff cuz I'm the grandma.





The love I feel for my sons is like this.  I like to use the metaphor of my critical mind as the bouncer standing outside the wild dance club that is my heart...most people had to wait in line, get checked out, show their ID, etc... before I granted them admission.  My sons just got "the nod" and walked right in.  :wink:


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
    #7585129 - 11/01/07 06:37 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

LOL I believe we should follow the wisdom of Chris Rock when it comes to this one.

"If you ain't ever contemplated murder, you aint been in love." :lol:



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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Crystal G]
    #7585144 - 11/01/07 06:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Meh, "wisdom" and "Chris Rock" don't belong in the same sentence, IMO.  :tongue:


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
    #7585164 - 11/01/07 06:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

I find it to be true though, that hate is the strongest passion. The fact that one person consumes so much and provokes so much emotion from another person is a truly amazing feat.


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Crystal G]
    #7585199 - 11/01/07 06:55 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Each to his/her own, I suppose.  Hate is far from my strongest passion, but it could be for someone else. :shrug:

The relationships I've been in that evoked hatred and anger involved lust and obsession, not love.


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OfflineShiVersblood
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7585205 - 11/01/07 06:58 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

A girl tells me she loves me but she is cheating on me but I just cant give her up


--------------------
Retiro Equipaje. Mas uno por favor Cerveza, es mas fina. Psalm 706:6


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Crystal G]
    #7585210 - 11/01/07 07:00 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Veritas~That analogy is right on!


My sister recently told me something that I took comfort in after I complained about the stress my teens are putting me through (we have 2 right now)...she said: "Just keep in mind that grandchildren are God's reward to you for not killing your teenagers".

YEAH! lol :rolleyes:

Chris R. is certainly funny as Marty the Zebra in Madagascar...but I must say that my fav. character is King Julian the Lemur played my Sasha B. Cohen. Whatta nut! lol

S.blood~ Cheating is wack! You can't give "her" up or you can't give up the good sex? I understand if it's good why you wouldn't want to lose it. Just know that non-cheater is out there. One just has to consider oneself a quality person who's puzzle piece is quality too.

Cheating now is more likely cheating later too. Anyway, why would any guy want to put it where another guy just was? Gross! I'm not telling you what to do...just pondering on the pain we perhaps should but refuse to give up...it's up to you... Good luck!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (11/01/07 07:08 PM)


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InvisibleVeritas
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7585308 - 11/01/07 07:29 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

I have a teenager, too.  So far so good, he's terrific & we have a close, loving relationship.  :thumbup: 

When he turned 12, I explained my parenting strategy for his transition into adulthood: "I want you to take control over your life, but I want you to be successful at it.  I will give you more and more control, and will only take it back temporarily when you show me that you need to learn more before you are ready to handle more.  My goal is for you to feel totally competent as an adult when you move out, and for our relationship to become one of peers.  If I have to choose between pleasing you in the moment & fostering your success, I will choose your success every time."

:heart:


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OfflineShiVersblood
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
    #7585349 - 11/01/07 07:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

^ Butt sex avatar. How does one get that key


--------------------
Retiro Equipaje. Mas uno por favor Cerveza, es mas fina. Psalm 706:6


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
    #7585570 - 11/01/07 08:50 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Veritas said:
I have a teenager, too.  So far so good, he's terrific & we have a close, loving relationship.  :thumbup: 

When he turned 12, I explained my parenting strategy for his transition into adulthood: "I want you to take control over your life, but I want you to be successful at it.  I will give you more and more control, and will only take it back temporarily when you show me that you need to learn more before you are ready to handle more.  My goal is for you to feel totally competent as an adult when you move out, and for our relationship to become one of peers.  If I have to choose between pleasing you in the moment & fostering your success, I will choose your success every time."

:heart:




Brilliant! I read this to my husband just now.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Offlinechubbycharley
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7587864 - 11/02/07 01:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

so i was smoking a bowl last night and just thinking. thinking thoughts that lead into oblivion, or the ascendant, or infinity if you please. a meditation of sorts, i have been doing it sense i was like 7 years old. when they first started happening i would be thinking something like, "why am i here?" or "what is this (life)" and after i posed those questions i would get an answer of silence, no thoughts, just pure, flowing experience. try thinking to yourself, "i am..." but don't describe what you are, just allow yourself to feel your true essence. it's a very nice feeling. it is awe inspiring, it is a realization of "oneness" with everything, it is love.

so anyways, that's what i was doing and after a nice feeling of nothingness, my ego, my mind comes back in and says, "i love thoughts like that!" referring to the thoughts that led to love.

and this is where it hits me. love is attachment. well, real love is that feeling i described above, the emotion most people confuse with love is attachment. it happens after lust, after sex there is a moment of nothingness, that is the moment of real love. nothing matters, everything just "is". then there is an attachment to the experience or person that lead us to the feeling of true love (sex, or in my case last night, crafty thoughts).

attachment, by it's reciprocal nature and the fact that nothing earthly is permanent, is always followed by loss. loss is the pain most people associate with love, when they are away from their lovers and it hurts, that is the loss of the attachment to another, separate, being. when your are not conscious of the fact that everything is one, including people, then you are under the impression that everybody is a separate being and you feel you need a specific, other, being to fulfill you (soul mates anyone?). that is just dysfunctional. it is not love, it is selfishness. it is attachment.

if you feel attachment is love, than you have forgotten what it is to truly "feel".

did that make any sense?


--------------------
if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me :smile:


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: chubbycharley]
    #7592666 - 11/03/07 09:36 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:


attachment, by it's reciprocal nature and the fact that nothing earthly is permanent, is always followed by loss. loss is the pain most people associate with love, when they are away from their lovers and it hurts, that is the loss of the attachment to another, separate, being. when your are not conscious of the fact that everything is one, including people, then you are under the impression that everybody is a separate being and you feel you need a specific, other, being to fulfill you (soul mates anyone?). that is just dysfunctional. it is not love, it is selfishness. it is attachment.

if you feel attachment is love, than you have forgotten what it is to truly "feel".

did that make any sense?




I wanted to quote the whole thing but thought it would be too long a post so I quoted the conclusion though, that is not to take away from the significance of the rest of it.

1st I'll say, separate from this thread's intention, that I too felt moments of deep reflection as a youngster and I've heard that from other posters as well. For you, it was satisfying. For me, I felt it was abnormal, it bothered me and I stopped it as it began each time. I felt the experience to be intense and never-ending unless I "pulled out" of it. I allowed it to continue only after I clarified with my Mum that it was normal and that other people experience it. By that time it was occurring less and less and I had to almost hold onto it rather than let it dissipate each time.

About your understanding the concept of love, and I don't claim I know all about what it is and how it works or I wouldn't have posted this right? :smile: so I'm just commenting on your take here.

I hope I got clear what you meant. If not, please give further clarity. I'll say about the idea of attachment that you brought up, that it reminds me of a point I've (re-)thought about recently. I feel it's significant to mention here and I hope it adds and doesn't detract from your point.

After 9-11 I read that several partners of individuals who died in the twin towers killed themselves. This seems to fall into the category of the dysfunctional attachment some people call love or to be kind, the over-attachment that stemmed from the love-base of the relationship. As an aside; the person who died is never forgotten but the pain lessens with time and if support is given to the surviving party to point this out, it could possibly make all the difference. I'll also add that it is healthy that one morn the loss of a life's partner in a real way. This would apply on a smaller but not less significant scale in it's own way, to the adjustment time following being dumped by a b/f or g/f.

An individual who allows themselves to be so attached to another that they lose their individual identity or can't see themselves without that person to the point that the grief would send them out of their minds goes beyond love. Of course, the people who killed themselves after 9-11 must have had other issues as well. Pre-existing mental illness could have been a factor or some other of a myriad of possible scenarios.

I've discussed that with my husband and it's understood between us that the one who lived on would, after a time, actively look to re-marry. I hope we never have to be faced with that but reality dictates that it's something to discuss while both are living.

Other posters on this thread hit the nail on the head with ideas that I'll combine here to sum up the solution to the over-attachment syndrome (which I just coined myself just now :smile: ) that one must enjoy one's own company before enjoying anyones else's or expecting someone else to enjoy yours and wanting the company of a specific other, in a healthy way, to the point where one doesn't want to be without them.

I don't feel one saying "I can't picture being without them" is healthy while I feel that it's okay to picture it, then decide you wouldn't want that, decide what you'd do if you found yourself w/o that person in your life and then put it out of your mind again.

Thanks for your input man...it's gr8ly appreciated! :smile: ~ MIC


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7594001 - 11/04/07 10:10 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

A pic of me and my grandbaby is posted in my journal if any of y'all want to see us. :thumbup: <3


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7619857 - 11/10/07 06:14 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

On another note...
Do you feel one can love and be loved by one (s)he has never met face-to-face?

See what I wrote in Sleepy's rating to answer him cuz I won't answer directly here and now...I want real feedback guys!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (11/10/07 07:09 PM)


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Invisiblesleepy
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7619986 - 11/10/07 06:47 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

love is a word.


Edited by sleepy (11/10/07 06:48 PM)


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: sleepy]
    #7621621 - 11/11/07 11:04 AM (16 years, 2 months ago)

Which "words" go with love then?

Giving

Letting it happen

Learning/Discovery

Vulnerability

Orgasms :wink:

Partnership

Oneness

Melting/Reconstituting

Maturity

Acceptance

Growing (as an individual, as a pair, as an entity of the universe)

Ahava, Amour, Amore, Leib/Leiber (any other languages you can add here folks?)


Edited by MyInnerChild (11/11/07 11:05 AM)


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7626717 - 11/12/07 04:55 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

So besides French and Spanish and Italian...what other languages can y'all come up with the word "love" in...? Love-In..sounds good to me. :wink: GROUP HUG! :smile:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #7630978 - 11/13/07 02:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago)

So this thread is g'done and g'finished I see....

Bye, it was fun, informative and full of great insights.

Love ya all! :heart:


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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