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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Lion]
#7585026 - 11/01/07 05:59 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
bug said: That would be very cool. 
Two days old??? Wha-?? I could've sworn you were posting here two days ago.
I can only think of really sappy things to say. Babies... their beauty makes the whole human adventure worthwhile. I hope you enjoy her company and that she grows up into a strong, healthy, open minded and open hearted individual.
What a bee-you-tee-full thing to say bug!
The baby isn't mine from my body but rather, imagine a Russian nesting doll..there's my Mum, open her doll up and there's me, open my doll up and there's my eldest, and from her, two days ago, came a lovely little girl...who I referred to as mine and that's the one I was posting about. Sorry if I was too vague.
Hugs to y'all! Have a great week-end. MIC
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7585101 - 11/01/07 06:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
MyInnerChild said: I became a grandmother yesterday and I gotta say I can't explain the love i felt for that little baby less than a day old that was palpable as I held her. There's a connection I felt. There's the beauty of a new born too but it's beyond that. She happens to be a very pretty baby objectively speaking and I've seen enough to be able to say that even though you might think I can't say any diff cuz I'm the grandma.
The love I feel for my sons is like this. I like to use the metaphor of my critical mind as the bouncer standing outside the wild dance club that is my heart...most people had to wait in line, get checked out, show their ID, etc... before I granted them admission. My sons just got "the nod" and walked right in.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
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Loc: outer space
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
#7585129 - 11/01/07 06:37 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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LOL I believe we should follow the wisdom of Chris Rock when it comes to this one.
"If you ain't ever contemplated murder, you aint been in love." 
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Crystal G]
#7585144 - 11/01/07 06:41 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Meh, "wisdom" and "Chris Rock" don't belong in the same sentence, IMO.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
#7585164 - 11/01/07 06:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I find it to be true though, that hate is the strongest passion. The fact that one person consumes so much and provokes so much emotion from another person is a truly amazing feat.
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Crystal G]
#7585199 - 11/01/07 06:55 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Each to his/her own, I suppose. Hate is far from my strongest passion, but it could be for someone else. 
The relationships I've been in that evoked hatred and anger involved lust and obsession, not love.
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ShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤


Registered: 08/18/07
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7585205 - 11/01/07 06:58 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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A girl tells me she loves me but she is cheating on me but I just cant give her up
-------------------- Retiro Equipaje. Mas uno por favor Cerveza, es mas fina. Psalm 706:6
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Crystal G]
#7585210 - 11/01/07 07:00 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Veritas~That analogy is right on!
My sister recently told me something that I took comfort in after I complained about the stress my teens are putting me through (we have 2 right now)...she said: "Just keep in mind that grandchildren are God's reward to you for not killing your teenagers".
YEAH! lol 
Chris R. is certainly funny as Marty the Zebra in Madagascar...but I must say that my fav. character is King Julian the Lemur played my Sasha B. Cohen. Whatta nut! lol
S.blood~ Cheating is wack! You can't give "her" up or you can't give up the good sex? I understand if it's good why you wouldn't want to lose it. Just know that non-cheater is out there. One just has to consider oneself a quality person who's puzzle piece is quality too.
Cheating now is more likely cheating later too. Anyway, why would any guy want to put it where another guy just was? Gross! I'm not telling you what to do...just pondering on the pain we perhaps should but refuse to give up...it's up to you... Good luck!
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
Edited by MyInnerChild (11/01/07 07:08 PM)
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Veritas

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,089
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7585308 - 11/01/07 07:29 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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I have a teenager, too. So far so good, he's terrific & we have a close, loving relationship.
When he turned 12, I explained my parenting strategy for his transition into adulthood: "I want you to take control over your life, but I want you to be successful at it. I will give you more and more control, and will only take it back temporarily when you show me that you need to learn more before you are ready to handle more. My goal is for you to feel totally competent as an adult when you move out, and for our relationship to become one of peers. If I have to choose between pleasing you in the moment & fostering your success, I will choose your success every time."
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ShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤


Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 115,620
Loc: United States of America
Last seen: 8 minutes, 52 seconds
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
#7585349 - 11/01/07 07:46 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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^ Butt sex avatar. How does one get that key
-------------------- Retiro Equipaje. Mas uno por favor Cerveza, es mas fina. Psalm 706:6
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: Veritas]
#7585570 - 11/01/07 08:50 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Veritas said: I have a teenager, too. So far so good, he's terrific & we have a close, loving relationship.
When he turned 12, I explained my parenting strategy for his transition into adulthood: "I want you to take control over your life, but I want you to be successful at it. I will give you more and more control, and will only take it back temporarily when you show me that you need to learn more before you are ready to handle more. My goal is for you to feel totally competent as an adult when you move out, and for our relationship to become one of peers. If I have to choose between pleasing you in the moment & fostering your success, I will choose your success every time."
Brilliant! I read this to my husband just now.
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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chubbycharley
the chubbiest ofthe charleys


Registered: 04/02/04
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7587864 - 11/02/07 01:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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so i was smoking a bowl last night and just thinking. thinking thoughts that lead into oblivion, or the ascendant, or infinity if you please. a meditation of sorts, i have been doing it sense i was like 7 years old. when they first started happening i would be thinking something like, "why am i here?" or "what is this (life)" and after i posed those questions i would get an answer of silence, no thoughts, just pure, flowing experience. try thinking to yourself, "i am..." but don't describe what you are, just allow yourself to feel your true essence. it's a very nice feeling. it is awe inspiring, it is a realization of "oneness" with everything, it is love.
so anyways, that's what i was doing and after a nice feeling of nothingness, my ego, my mind comes back in and says, "i love thoughts like that!" referring to the thoughts that led to love.
and this is where it hits me. love is attachment. well, real love is that feeling i described above, the emotion most people confuse with love is attachment. it happens after lust, after sex there is a moment of nothingness, that is the moment of real love. nothing matters, everything just "is". then there is an attachment to the experience or person that lead us to the feeling of true love (sex, or in my case last night, crafty thoughts).
attachment, by it's reciprocal nature and the fact that nothing earthly is permanent, is always followed by loss. loss is the pain most people associate with love, when they are away from their lovers and it hurts, that is the loss of the attachment to another, separate, being. when your are not conscious of the fact that everything is one, including people, then you are under the impression that everybody is a separate being and you feel you need a specific, other, being to fulfill you (soul mates anyone?). that is just dysfunctional. it is not love, it is selfishness. it is attachment.
if you feel attachment is love, than you have forgotten what it is to truly "feel".
did that make any sense?
-------------------- if i'm just a stoned stoner, sayin some stoned ass shit, please correct me
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: chubbycharley]
#7592666 - 11/03/07 09:36 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
attachment, by it's reciprocal nature and the fact that nothing earthly is permanent, is always followed by loss. loss is the pain most people associate with love, when they are away from their lovers and it hurts, that is the loss of the attachment to another, separate, being. when your are not conscious of the fact that everything is one, including people, then you are under the impression that everybody is a separate being and you feel you need a specific, other, being to fulfill you (soul mates anyone?). that is just dysfunctional. it is not love, it is selfishness. it is attachment.
if you feel attachment is love, than you have forgotten what it is to truly "feel".
did that make any sense?
I wanted to quote the whole thing but thought it would be too long a post so I quoted the conclusion though, that is not to take away from the significance of the rest of it.
1st I'll say, separate from this thread's intention, that I too felt moments of deep reflection as a youngster and I've heard that from other posters as well. For you, it was satisfying. For me, I felt it was abnormal, it bothered me and I stopped it as it began each time. I felt the experience to be intense and never-ending unless I "pulled out" of it. I allowed it to continue only after I clarified with my Mum that it was normal and that other people experience it. By that time it was occurring less and less and I had to almost hold onto it rather than let it dissipate each time.
About your understanding the concept of love, and I don't claim I know all about what it is and how it works or I wouldn't have posted this right? so I'm just commenting on your take here.
I hope I got clear what you meant. If not, please give further clarity. I'll say about the idea of attachment that you brought up, that it reminds me of a point I've (re-)thought about recently. I feel it's significant to mention here and I hope it adds and doesn't detract from your point.
After 9-11 I read that several partners of individuals who died in the twin towers killed themselves. This seems to fall into the category of the dysfunctional attachment some people call love or to be kind, the over-attachment that stemmed from the love-base of the relationship. As an aside; the person who died is never forgotten but the pain lessens with time and if support is given to the surviving party to point this out, it could possibly make all the difference. I'll also add that it is healthy that one morn the loss of a life's partner in a real way. This would apply on a smaller but not less significant scale in it's own way, to the adjustment time following being dumped by a b/f or g/f.
An individual who allows themselves to be so attached to another that they lose their individual identity or can't see themselves without that person to the point that the grief would send them out of their minds goes beyond love. Of course, the people who killed themselves after 9-11 must have had other issues as well. Pre-existing mental illness could have been a factor or some other of a myriad of possible scenarios.
I've discussed that with my husband and it's understood between us that the one who lived on would, after a time, actively look to re-marry. I hope we never have to be faced with that but reality dictates that it's something to discuss while both are living.
Other posters on this thread hit the nail on the head with ideas that I'll combine here to sum up the solution to the over-attachment syndrome (which I just coined myself just now ) that one must enjoy one's own company before enjoying anyones else's or expecting someone else to enjoy yours and wanting the company of a specific other, in a healthy way, to the point where one doesn't want to be without them.
I don't feel one saying "I can't picture being without them" is healthy while I feel that it's okay to picture it, then decide you wouldn't want that, decide what you'd do if you found yourself w/o that person in your life and then put it out of your mind again.
Thanks for your input man...it's gr8ly appreciated! ~ MIC
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
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Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7594001 - 11/04/07 10:10 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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A pic of me and my grandbaby is posted in my journal if any of y'all want to see us. <3
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



Registered: 11/11/06
Posts: 1,099
Loc: North-East
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7619857 - 11/10/07 06:14 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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On another note... Do you feel one can love and be loved by one (s)he has never met face-to-face?
See what I wrote in Sleepy's rating to answer him cuz I won't answer directly here and now...I want real feedback guys!
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
Edited by MyInnerChild (11/10/07 07:09 PM)
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sleepy
zZzZzZzZz


Registered: 01/17/05
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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7619986 - 11/10/07 06:47 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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love is a word.
Edited by sleepy (11/10/07 06:48 PM)
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: sleepy]
#7621621 - 11/11/07 11:04 AM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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Which "words" go with love then?
Giving
Letting it happen
Learning/Discovery
Vulnerability
Orgasms 
Partnership
Oneness
Melting/Reconstituting
Maturity
Acceptance
Growing (as an individual, as a pair, as an entity of the universe)
Ahava, Amour, Amore, Leib/Leiber (any other languages you can add here folks?)
Edited by MyInnerChild (11/11/07 11:05 AM)
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7626717 - 11/12/07 04:55 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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So besides French and Spanish and Italian...what other languages can y'all come up with the word "love" in...? Love-In..sounds good to me. GROUP HUG!
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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MyInnerChild
EveryMum



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Re: Define "love" for me if you please... [Re: MyInnerChild]
#7630978 - 11/13/07 02:54 PM (16 years, 2 months ago) |
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So this thread is g'done and g'finished I see....
Bye, it was fun, informative and full of great insights.
Love ya all!
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My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others! Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me, Other times I can barely see. Lately it occurs to me, What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in
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