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Somehow, the act of sharing or the possibility of imparting had a higher priority in the process than the ego (me) who was intending it.

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Yes!  Enlightened self-interest!!    The moment we cease scheming ways for our social self to be accepted, loved, worshipped, feared, etc...we can act from our deeply-held values.

If we can ask ourselves not "what's in it for me" but rather "if everyone acted like me, would I want to live on this planet?" we can become a conduit for love, peace, well-being, trust, acceptance and joy. This could never be viewed as a sacrifice, as it is the best investment anyone can possibly make. 

MarkostheGnostic said:

"Giving selflessly is non-sense. We always do for ourselves first and foremost and every benefit to others is the result of a skillful choice in giving to ourselves."

Come on now, don't be so jaded. I have helped people with no thought of payoff, even subtle payoff like feeling good about myself for being altruistic. When I was about 20 and hanging out in a wooded reservation, a man (with his secretary apparently) had his car battery die and he asked me if I had jumper cables. I started his car and refused the money he offered me. It wasn't because I was rich theat I declined the money it was because I was trying to make a social statement that for me was backed by a spiritual principle. I used to reflect on BE HERE NOW quite a bit and the page that says 'when there is a task to be done, become the task.' Or again, 'do without being the doer.' It was spiritual work for me, which paradoxically was NOT for me because it was intended to diminish the ego, not enhance it - to be a servant at that moment.

Years later, while returning with my fiancee and two dogs to Maryland from New Jersey (I used to set up a mad scientist's lab on Halloween for the kids at my parent's house), my car crapped out just before the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel at about 10:00 at night. The thing is, I had just passed a broken down Mercedes and thought to myself "Gee, I'm glad that's not ME," when BANG. My car crapped out. Instant karma. Not knowing what the cause was, nor being a mechanic, a car drove up and a man stepped out. I became guarded. He had an open beer and a joint going. He stopped to help and offered me a hit which I declined, but, I offered him $10 to drive to the next rest stop, and call AAA for me. I wrote down the number for him and he declined the $10! I thought, fat chance he'll call, and I wonder why he declined the money. We waited for a tow truck out of hope, and first, one showed up for the Mercedes, but a few minutes later, one showed up for us! It occurred to me that the day after All Soul's Day (Halloween) was All Saint's Day, and that stoner acted like a saint as far as I was concerned.

The tow truck driver said he could tow us, but it was quite a distance and it was gonna cost me. He said the center contact on my distributor had sheared off. A neighbor had helped me replace the points on my Plymouth Arrow, but he hadn't lubricated the spring and shaft. As Providence would have it, I kept the old parts in my glove box and the wrecker driver threw them in, and while untimed, the car was drivable. I don't remember if I tipped the driver, but he wasn't helping me with his hand out either.

These kinds of events find connection in my mind, like "Who's writing this script?" as Ram Dass was wont to say. Selfless action, altruism, doing without a doer is a very real motive. Jesus called it love, Buddha called it Compassion. It is a transpersonal center of motivation, which, as the word suggests, transcends personal interest and acts in the interest of other embodied beings with the premise that beneath the apparent separateness, we are One being. "Love your neighbor as yourself" is a command to recognize the Wisdom of Equanimity, from a Christian perspective. The essential nature of my neighbor (a real asshole from my ego's perspective) is as common to me and you as is the atmosphere we all breath.

I remember a meditation on tape that Ram Dass was taught which helped him to grasp the shift from ego to Self, from belly to heart. Doing the OM MANI PADME HUM while visualizing a bucket dipping into the Navel Center and drawing up a dense, heavy bucket of the water element and dumping it into the Heart Center whereupon the heavy bucket becomes light (in weight) and Light (as in fiery illumination). Being "Centauric" has a positive symbolism for Ken Wilber as a healthy integration of our body-mind into a whole being, but for me the symbol illustrates our mythic condition in which our whole being is dominated by our embodied-egohood. Even before one's physical prowess wanes from age, it behooves us to transcend such domination of the embodied-ego even if one is powerful, fast, and hung like a horse, or else as you correctly say, through our addiction to the adolescent vainglory of embodied selfhood, we become the cause of our own suffering. I'll tell you, I had to have my 6-year molar in my upper right side extracted yesterday. I am mourning the loss of a mere tooth - my first molar - MORE than the lens of my right eye which was replaced by a plastic one 13 years ago! I won't destroy two additional teeth to wear a bridge, and I won't know if I'll have enough bone for a dental implant for several months. We die (and mourn) the loss of our embodied-ego in dribs and drabs. Despite all my meditative preparation, I DEMANDED Nitrous Oxide, and paid extra for the gas (Wow! did I get high). It is a lesson to me which I'm sharing with you. Our ego is primarily an embodied-ego and we really have to work at detachment and its corollaries, selflessness and selfless action.

Peace.

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leery11 said:

need and want are such blurry terms so i don't know how to answer that

i need certain things in order to have experiences of beauty and joy and bliss and freedom and satisfaction with my life

if i do not have them i feel normal and/or apathetic, slow, dull, and restless,

sort of

what i would need/want would be people to share beauty with.

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Icelander said:

leery11 said:

need and want are such blurry terms so i don't know how to answer that

i need certain things in order to have experiences of beauty and joy and bliss and freedom and satisfaction with my life

if i do not have them i feel normal and/or apathetic, slow, dull, and restless,

sort of

what i would need/want would be people to share beauty with.

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They are very distinct terms for me but maybe that distinction will make more sense down the road for you. It took me a long time.

If you need/want to share beauty with others then just share it whether they acknowledge it or not. It's still beauty you are still sharing it. I have found those that are unable to find love and friendship are usually throwing up roadblocks that they are invested in staying unaware of. Maybe this is the case for you. Maybe you project neediness. Do you need others to be happy or feel fulfilled? I wouldn't choose a friend like that.

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Icelander said:

Do you need others to be happy or feel fulfilled?

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Quote:

That's all OK in my book.

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