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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965096 -

Doubt clouds judgement... you seem to have lots of it, trust your feelings.

It seems more then evident to me what the logical choice is regarding your relationship with both parties, and more so your feelings regarding each.

It either works or it doesn't, however i suggest you make an annulment before proceding, just to have a clear conscience.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #6965109 -

Corporal Kielbasa said:
Have you told her how you feel? Or tried to communicate about the general things that life consists of? Try to bring her back into your life.



All this has been done time and time again. She says she is going to start doing "X" but never follows through with it. Always falls back into her old habits. I'm hoping this cancer scare will open her eyes to the need for her to take care of herself.

She has some serious traumatic issues from her childhood that still haunts her today. She suffers from PTSD because of it. That is one of the reasons I have been with her so long. I know it is hard for her to make the needed changes in her life.......but my patience has a limit.......and it is almost reached.


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Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: indica]
    #6965142 -

xk3m_indica said:
i wish i were 100 years old so i could give advice
all i can say is slam every hole you can before u die
thats what the males were designed todo
ensure the survuval of your specis
FUCK EVERYTHING




I'm asuming to insure the survival of the species you might wanna be choosy of which holes you want to get into. Don't you think


--------------------
Big Rich Grillz......

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Re: My secret crush [Re: indica]
    #6965145 -

Just like parts of Africa?

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Bigrichshrooms]
    #6965149 -

hey we agree!

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965157 -

niteowl said:
Do I take it as a sign that things arent gonna work out with me and my wife and I should just move on.......or do I take it as a test of my commitment to the relationship?

Im very confused right now about all this and was looking for some feed back from the Shroomery.



Heheh well you have it...


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965178 -

Lol posting this was just asking for all this hate lol


But it looks like you have a pretty honest outlook of yourself.  A beautiful thing.


And yea, there's nothing better than that feeling you described in OP.

Have fun with your karma bro :laugh:  (and no i dont mean that in a spiteful western sense lol)

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Digs]
    #6965187 -

Like maybe this new woman is the woman you are supposed to be with?

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965405 -

I don't think that you've been as honest with your wife as you say that you have.

My friend Kate was married for 5 years to her husband, they had a young boy who was about 4. She got some serious feelings for another man and considered leaving her husband. She never had any intimate contact with him...it was an 'emotional affair' so to speak.

She told her husband about these feelings and that made him realize that something was terribly wrong in thier marriage, and they decided to go to conselling together to work out thier problems.

I'm not saying that every single marriage can be saved. I just think it's so SAD when two people who promised to love each other and support each other forever, fall out of love and hurt instead of love.

What if you told your wife about your feelings for this other woman and got her take on it. That would take a lot of balls and an incredible amount of honesty. Maybe if you told her how you REALLY feel, then she would take the steps to compromise and make your future together look more promising.

If this other woman never came along and stole your heart, would you still be considering a break up with your wife? My guess is no, but maybe I'm wrong.

Anyways, you need to do whatever you think is right. Good luck.


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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965562 -

Honesty is the best policy in situations like this. It's shitty to lie and sneak around. You need to be painfully blunt with your wife:


"I love you but I am not happy in our marriage. Our marriage has pretty much been over for a long time. I don't want to hurt you but I want out. We both need to move on.


It will take balls to say that. But, if you don't say it you'll forever be stuck in a shitty situation. It is admirable that you care about her...but you need to think of yourself as well.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6965573 -

CherryBom said:
I just think it's so SAD when two people who promised to love each other and support each other forever, fall out of love and hurt instead of love.



Marriage is an antiquated and unrealistic institution. It just doesn't work for most people. Monogamy and marriage are both bullshit. In my life I don't know of a single marriage that lasted or where the people were faithful.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6965631 -

That doesn't make you sad?

That it's practically impossible for two people to love each other forever? What's the point.


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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6965652 -

Forever is a long time. Why does their need to be a point for that matter, eventually you do anything long enough the redundancy becomes unmanageable... just gotta be more dynamic if you want it to last forever.


--------------------
"Their is one overriding question that concerns us all: How can we get out of the fatal groove we are in, the one that is leading towards the brink?" Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
"We may not be capable of eradicating the corruption of reason, but we must nevertheless counter it at every instance and with every means." Dan Agin
"Politics is the best religion and politicians are the worst followers."
-It's ok to trip as long as you don't fall.
-Substance over Style.
-Common sense is uncommon.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6965654 -

RandalFlagg said:
CherryBom said:
I just think it's so SAD when two people who promised to love each other and support each other forever, fall out of love and hurt instead of love.



Marriage is an antiquated and unrealistic institution. It just doesn't work for most people. Monogamy and marriage are both bullshit. In my life I don't know of a single marriage that lasted or where the people were faithful.



My parents have been married for 40+ years. They still seem perfectly happy to me, although yeah, they don't act like newlyweds anymore. But who does after the first year or so? No one. As far as I know, they've never slept around. I don't ever even remember them fighting much at all when I was a kid. You're just jaded...

Strangely enough, I have no plans to get married myself, even though I had such an awesome example. I just think its a pointless piece of paper, good for tax reasons only.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6965668 -

CherryBom said:
That doesn't make you sad?

That it's practically impossible for two people to love each other forever? What's the point.



No. Life goes on. Live for the moment. You meet new people. Love is the equivalent of eating a bunch of chocolate anyway.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6965671 -

I'm not going to give you my opinion because from reading through, you just want people to say to you what you want to hear :ohwell:


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David

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Re: My secret crush [Re: adrug]
    #6965674 -

Your parents are in a small minority. The people I know who stayed together only do so because of the kids or money concerns. I don't know of a single married couple who's been together for more than 10+ years and who still like each other.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6965680 -

I do. Sucks for you!

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Re: My secret crush [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #6965681 -

Ok, so in keeping with the topic at hand... put yourself in niteowls position. What would YOU do?


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Re: My secret crush [Re: CherryBom]
    #6965694 -

Tell her that it's been over for a long time. I know it and she knows it. It's time for both of us to move on.

Then I'd eat a bunch of chocolate and go bang this new girl.

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