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My secret crush
    #6963792 -

I have a female "friend" I have known for about 10 years (and haven't seen in about 3-4 years). We each have a high school type crush on the other. Butterflies in our stomach when we are near each other. This "feeling" is very strong for me. She says it is strong for her too.

Many times we have considered having an affair. Things just never worked out in our favor.

The timing wasn't right I guess.

Today I got to see her again at a friends house. Still got the butterflies, we both acted like silly high school kids, laughing and giggling for lack of anything to say.

We were able to have a couple of minutes alone before we went our separate ways. Still shy, and unable to talk. I asked her if she still felt for me like I still felt for her. She kinda laughed and claimed I was a horn-dog but wouldn't let me leave without giving me a hug.

WOW!

I never realized you could loose yourself in the embrace of another person until today. I hugged her and lost myself. There is no other explanation for the feeling that came over me during that hug.

Is this normal?

I don't know.

We chatted later today and both agreed to a more "romantic" meeting at my house.

OMG!

The thought of being alone with her excites me, and scares the shit outta me, at the same time. I could care less if we have sex. I just want to hold her again. I want to feel her body against mine, smell her hair. I feel safe with her, in a way I cant explain.

If sex happens......all the better.........it probably won't the first time she comes over though, I think we will both be too nervous for that, just hugging, kissing and petting.....but sex is not the primary reason I want to be with her. I just enjoy spending time with her.

I could easily see myself married to her rather than my wife.

Is this normal?


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Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963808 -

I have three words for you...

Rent This Movie...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xjo2JjmlZ7A

That should answer your question about these feelings you're having. Depends how much you value your wife really.


--------------------
"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"

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Re: My secret crush [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6963846 -

I love my wife, and always will on some level.

I have been with her for 17 years. As much as I hate it we are growing apart rather than together.

Not from a lack of me trying. I just get no input from my wife at all.

I want a partner.....not a room-mate.


btw.......my kids are grown and have kids of their own. If I have an affair with this woman.......it will not interfere with my kids. :rolleyes:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963853 -

Have an affair :yesnod:


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HOW'S MY POSTING? CLICK HERE

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963863 -

Then why not be honest with your wife and end it before you start anything with the new girl? You have 17 years together and children, don't you think you owe her that much respect?

You're a grown man and will make your own decisions... this is just based on my experiences with cheating. I only offer you these friendly words of warning... It will catch up with you. It always does.


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"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"

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Re: My secret crush [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6963867 -

DrCamacho89 said:
Then why not be honest with your wife and end it before you start anything with the new girl?


That can wait. Priority number one is hooking up with the girl.


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HOW'S MY POSTING? CLICK HERE

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963869 -

fuck her on the side


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:heart:

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Re: My secret crush [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6963870 -

"I could easily see myself married to her rather than my wife."
u have a wife?
i may have misinterpretted this, but if u do make sure teh woman knows u have a wife, if shes still willing too go with it

have fun:D

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Fiblessop]
    #6963875 -

ignore that ppost

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Fiblessop] * 1
    #6963892 -

i get the same feelings for a girl, the only differance is i will never be with her, kno wmatter how much i want too be.

depressioning shit

i ssay go with your heart your one of th eluckier ones who has a chance too be with his true soulmate, i say go for it, but ending it with ure wife would be respectful

best of wishes:heart::wink:

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Re: My secret crush [Re: JunkFood]
    #6963893 -

I'm afraid that having the affair will make me want to divorce my wife and try to get her to marry me.

Me feelings for her are very strong and I cant understand why.

The love I have from her comes from her soul, from the person she is on the inside. The love I have for my wife comes from the life she had to endure. I tried (been trying) to "save her".....it ain't working.

I want/need something different.

Don't know if I will be able to simply have an affair and leave it at that. I want to have a mistress. A long term affair, someone whom I can pamper and please.

Not just a one time thing.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963901 -

niteowl said:
I'm afraid that having the affair will make me want to divorce my wife and try to get her to marry me.


Don't let divorce and breaking up with your wife overwhelm you: it's not such a big deal. Go with the one you love.


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HOW'S MY POSTING? CLICK HERE

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963905 -

I hate to be a downer here, but you posted this so I am guessing you want the truth. Some of these replies you're getting seem real ignorant and childish to me.

You start fooling around on the side, you start with the lies to your wife, at first it's fun and exciting, being bad, will you get caught, you start getting tangled up in the lies, it starts to overwhelm you, the new girl is getting psychotic like most girls tend to do, puts more of a strain on you, meanwhile you're severely betraying the mother of your children and the guilt from that is piling up as the spider of web of lies keep spinning...

I don't want to go through those times every again. Mine wasn't a wife, yet a serious girlfriend, with no kids, and the aftermath still ate away at my soul.

Sorry if this is grim, but like I said, I would never want to go through something like that again.


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"The Highways of Life are Paved with Flat Squirrels who Couldn't Make Up Their Minds"

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Re: My secret crush [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6963914 -

i agree with the doctor.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6963921 -

Wow man. I am too young to give you any advice. That's honestly one of my biggest fears in getting married. I'll marry the person that I love at the time, we'll grow apart, but I'll still love her, then I'll find someone else who makes me feel like I'm "young again." Thats why marriage scares the hell out of me. I could have easily married my exgirlfriend 2 years into the relationship, but things went to shit after the next year and she fucked my bestfriend 2 weeks after we broke up.

Bahhh... this post kinda just fuels the question of "will I ever get married?" for me.

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Gumby]
    #6964043 -

Sorry but if your marriage grew apart both are to blaim you and your wife. It's not a solo thing you know, it's a joint commitment. Now your letting a marriage fall in pieces and now fantasise of another woman and thinkin gof marriage. Get your priorities right. Feeling for one a nd getting married to that person is 2 different things. Feelings that haven't been expressed and shared are no basis for a marriage.

Stop thinking way too ahead. Either work on your marriage, or start over. And before starting to get into another relationship find yourself first. Know who you are and really know what you want. Atleast a marriage in the past will show you what you want and don't want. Only a fool would rush in twice first. And atleast you owe your wife a chance to work it out and rekindle your love. If not then go solo for sometime and don't even think about marriage till you have actually established yourself to be in a commitment in where you will live through with for the rest of your years. Disregarding a marriage with no attempt to rekindle is a waste of how many ever years both of you have been together. Those are years you will never get back.


Those are my 2 pennies.


--------------------
Big Rich Grillz......

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Re: My secret crush [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6964066 -

DrCamacho89 said:
Then why not be honest with your wife and end it before you start anything with the new girl?


I love my wife and don't want to hurt her :shrug:

If i can do this discreetly then I will. I first have to know if there is anything real between my new gf.

Quote:
You have 17 years together and children, don't you think you owe her that much respect?


Respect is a two way street my friend.

If she had respected herself enough to take basic care of herself , things would be different. Her stubbornness, has caused her to have to have a hysterectomy.........that could have been prevented, had she went to the Dr sooner. I begged her for almost 3 years to go see a Dr but she refused. I even told her I was afraid she may have cancer. Turned out she does has cancerous cells in her cervix and will have to have a hysterectomy to solve the problem..............all preventable.

If she doesn't love herself enough to take basic care of herself........how can she truly love me?


Quote:
I only offer you these friendly words of warning... It will catch up with you.  It always does.


I honestly don't care if she finds out in the long run.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: My secret crush [Re: Bigrichshrooms]
    #6964117 -

Bigrichshrooms said:
Sorry but if your marriage grew apart both are to blame you and your wife. It's not a solo thing you know, it's a joint commitment.


I agree. I cant hold the relationship together by myself.

Quote:
Now your letting a marriage fall in pieces and now fantasize of another woman and thinking of marriage. Get your priorities right. Feeling for one a nd getting married to that person is 2 different things. Feelings that haven't been expressed and shared are no basis for a marriage.

Stop thinking way too ahead.


Having severe anxiety kinda makes it impossible to not try to see things thru.

Quote:
Either work on your marriage, or start over.


Been working on the relationship for years. When one person refuses to make changes in their live there is nothing the other person can do.

Quote:
And before starting to get into another relationship find yourself first. Know who you are and really know what you want.


Been there, done that.
Check out the link in my sig.

Quote:
And at least you owe your wife a chance to work it out and rekindle your love.


She will have the opportunity to start taking care of herself after she has surgery. if she falls back into the same lifestyle........I gotta go for my own sanity.

Quote:
If not then go solo for sometime and don't even think about marriage till you have actually established yourself to be in a commitment in where you will live through with for the rest of your years. Disregarding a marriage with no attempt to rekindle is a waste of how many ever years both of you have been together. Those are years you will never get back.


Agreed


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl]
    #6964133 -

Quote:
I could easily see myself married to her rather than my wife.


Quote:
We chatted later today and both agreed to a more "romantic" meeting at my house.


I don't think these two sentences go well together, unless the latter is about your wife :smirk:

DrCamacho89 said:
Then why not be honest with your wife and end it before you start anything with the new girl?  You have 17 years together and children, don't you think you owe her that much respect?

You're a grown man and will make your own decisions... this is just based on my experiences with cheating.  I only offer you these friendly words of warning... It will catch up with you.  It always does.


:thumbup:

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Re: My secret crush [Re: niteowl] * 1
    #6964149 -

niteowl said:
I love my wife, and always will on some level.

I have been with her for 17 years. As much as I hate it we are growing apart rather than together.

Not from a lack of me trying. I just get no input from my wife at all.

I want a partner.....not a room-mate.


btw.......my kids are grown and have kids of their own. If I have an affair with this woman.......it will not interfere with my kids. :rolleyes:


it doesnt matter if your kids are grandparents.  It WILL have an effect on your children.  To believe otherwise is just a lie you are telling youself to justify your ability to act on your feelings.

If your marriage is in a bad enough state that you have no desire to fix it, then you should end it before you go running off with some other chick.  Its not fair to anyone to do otherwise.  Its a selfish act with no consideration for your family.

Your other alternative is to attempt to solve your problems with your wife, maybe through therapy, maybe throughdivorce, maybe thrhough just being honest with her and telling her the entire story and the entire truth. 

You dont know what you really have until you lost it.  Best consder your options wisely before you act on an instinctual impulse.


--------------------
Nothing says love like grannies prolapsed anus!

quote]Urb said:
I know... Its fucked up... Ill fix it minyana..[/quote]

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