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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: MAIA]
    #5218133 -

MAIA said:
Quote:
Most of our anger comes from creating a false picture of how another should speak or act (or some other form of denial of reality) and then getting emotional that our false picture does not match the real picture.


Yeap, i know what you mean. I've already been a victim of such anger ...

MAIA


Who has not? I get angry lots. I grew up on it.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Swami]
    #5218221 -

Most of our anger comes from creating a false picture of how another should speak or act

Albert Ellis would be so proud of you.

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Swami]
    #5218442 -

My Uncle (RIP) once said that in an argument, the person yelling is the one losing it. He said that the person resorts to verbal abuse because he/she does not have any factual things to convey, so they just repeat the arguments already said blindly being unaware of how, in fact, silly they look.

If you arent pissed off enough to get in a fist fight, you shouldnt be pissed off.

Also, I see most people get pissed off at their family, friends and spouses, but never at strangers who offend their closest ones. I often see people wear a much different masks around strangers than with their family. This is especially true when it comes to teenage girls. Most adolescent girls will only get pissed off at their family and boyfriends, but never will you see a girl get pissed off at someone random, they will usually try to sugarcoat the situation, do anything to avoid confrontation with a stranger.

To get pissed off for someone stepping on your foot is easy, but to get pissed off at someone, confront someone at the right time and place is often important, but mostly avoided. The cowardly approach to try to squeeze out of the situation of a possible fight is the choice of the masses.

Me? I laugh most things off. And some people laugh all things off. They have no values. I call these people assclowns. If someone says something offensive to me, I let them know Im not pissed off at them this time, but generally offended. Repeat the mistake and get the old fashioned beatdown - where I punch you in the face a lot more than you do me.

Anger is like a hammer. It's a tool. You can use it to bash out holes in your drywall or someone's windshield when you're on a road rage, but come time that you need to hang up that picture in the living room and need to bash in a couple nails, it comes in quite useful. Just because it's mostly abused doesnt mean it has no purpose.


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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Swami]
    #5218474 -

Swami said:
Most of our anger comes from creating a false picture of how another should speak or act (or some other form of denial of reality) and then getting emotional that our false picture does not match the real picture.



Hmm. Disagree.

The 'bad', the 'other type' anger comes from a lack of awareness. I think if a person was actually seeing themselves through third person or retrospectivelly, they would reconsider their actions.


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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Icelander]
    #5218488 -

Icelander said:
Who has not? I get angry lots. I grew up on it.


Now this is not true. Some people grew up in loving families, childhood memories of bliss, others lived in poverty turmoil. Me, I wish I could take a pill to forget my childhood.


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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Swami]
    #5218527 -

Me? I laugh most things off. And some people laugh all things off. They have no values. I call these people assclowns.

Haha, I'm an assclown! :lol:

I don't know about the no values thing, but I can say that for about a year now I've been seemingly unable to be angered / saddened. On occasion I can as a purely rational thing - objectively recognizing wrongness, but very little emotional response to the same. It's not under conscious control, my brain just decided to rewire itself and cut off those parts I guess. :shrug:

However, not experiencing the lows of emotion makes the highs less memorable. I'm happily content at everything, but don't really get the blasts of euphoria that my more easily perturbed friends seem to. I miss being able to delude myself into feeling self-righteous indignation. :frown:

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: GulGen]
    #5218582 -

GulGen said:
Me? I laugh most things off. And some people laugh all things off. They have no values. I call these people assclowns.

Haha, I'm an assclown! :lol:

I don't know about the no values thing, but I can say that for about a year now I've been seemingly unable to be angered / saddened. On occasion I can as a purely rational thing - objectively recognizing wrongness, but very little emotional response to the same. It's not under conscious control, my brain just decided to rewire itself and cut off those parts I guess. :shrug:


Do you have nothing that you hold dear? If at a funeral, someone whipped it out and started pissing on the coffin of a close relative, would you laugh that off, too?

A value is your standard, something that stays with you. If you laugh at that, too, it only speaks of your lack of possession of principles.


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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Fospher]
    #5219097 -

Gulgen has been getting high for the past year everyday id say i did the same thing and when i went on probation i suddenlly refound all of my lost anger, and that just pissed me off more :smile:

Im pretty much past that now, but fospher is the only guy in this thread that is living in the real world in my opinion.  the whiny bitchy teenager has no respect, and therefore will throw a tantrum at home(which is a place of confort and seeming safety from the real world much like this message board...)

If they were fools enough to try it in the real world they would get their face beat in, AND they would deserve it.  I learned that lesson along time ago and many many people on this board obviously avoided it.  Its too bad cause it only makes you a better person. 

We are of course leaving out the last form of anger of the "passive-agressive" duche.  I wont name names but there is a guy in this thread who fits that bill, instead of just saying "hey man that pisses me off" he will try to "win" his arguments by tearing people down.  Which only makes him look like more of a dueche. sad sad sad.  peace


blaze2


--------------------
"Religion without science is blind, Science without religion is lame." Albert Einstein

"peace is not maintained through force it is acheived through intelligence." Albert Einstein

"Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain Security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one."
Thomas Jefferson

"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical." --Thomas Jefferson

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Swami]
    #5220424 -

Anger is often misunderstood.

Anger is not a bad thing, though yes, I agree... it is often silly.

Anger is an emotion, and emotions are important. When a person is angry, for a moment... or longer, they actually know what they want (not something everybody is aware of, all the time)... because they CAN'T get it. If they COULD get what they wanted, they wouldn't be angry. Simple... true.

People then choose how to act upon their unobtained desires. In other words, people often vent their anger. It is a shame most people regress when they are angry, and act upon anger as if they were children, rather than adults. Anger is usually expressed as a tantrum, or with force... sometimes both... sometimes sulking is involved.

The quicker you vent anger, the quicker it leaves you. It is healthy to vent your anger, it is unwise to pick the wrong target.

We've all been angry, and we've all been recipients of other people's anger. We all should get awards.


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Fiddlesticks.


Edited by Rose (01/25/06 04:06 AM)

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Rose]
    #5221122 -

Anger is a sign of an imabalance. Weather within yourself or around you. To feel anger is a natural means of setting an alarm of notifying you of a so called problem.

Yeah Cervantes!!!!

Its all about realising what is the cause of the anger and dealing with the root not the emotion!!!

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Rose]
    #5221138 -

Quote:
The quicker you vent anger, the quicker it leaves you. It is healthy to vent your anger, it is unwise to pick the wrong target.


:thumbup: It is important to completely express your anger in whatever way is appropriate. If you notice a young child, they freak out major; (let it all out if allowed to) the next minute they are laughing at a flower.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Icelander]
    #5223006 -

Fospher said:Do you have nothing that you hold dear? If at a funeral, someone whipped it out and started pissing on the coffin of a close relative, would you laugh that off, too?


Hmm, tough call. I haven't had anything of that level happen lately, which is part of the reason that I was hesitant to call it an absolute thing. I'd probably end up channeling whatever the emotion of the victim would have been had they known. If it was my mom I'd be kind of upset, though I'd probably laugh about it after the fact (come on, it would be pretty absurd and random). If it was my dad, I'd just laugh from the beginning. He's made his opinion clear that the dead are dead, and that's that. And I know he'd laugh it off if he knew that someone whipped it out and started pissing on his corpse. As insulting as the intent may be, it really would make for a morbidly funny situation.

blaze2: I don't actually smoke pot much, and almost never until a few months ago. I can find joy in shiny things even without drugs. :wink:

Quote:
Icelander said:
If you notice a young child, they freak out major; (let it all out if allowed to) the next minute they are laughing at a flower.


And yet, somehow adults are of the idea that they are the ones that need to teach the children. Important lessons can be found in the most unsuspecting places for those willing to find them.  :thumbup:

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Swami]
    #5223106 -

"I am never angry at anybody! No human being can do anything important enough for that. You get angry at people when you feel their acts are important. I don?t feel that way any longer." --Carlos Castaneda

This has been my ideal since I read it. It is hard to live up to.


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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #5237366 -

Yeah, but thats only because its hard to WANT to live up to. Just like anything that's a mental affair. You have to want to, and something that angers you, makes you want to be angry.


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[quote]We don't need anyone to teach us sorcery, because there is really nothing to learn. What we need is a teacher to convince us that there is incalculable power at our fingertips. What a strange paradox! Every warrior on the path of knowledge thinks, at one time or another, that he's learning sorcery, but all he's doing is allowing himself to be convinced of the power hidden in his being, and that he can reach it. [/quote]-Carlos Casteneda

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: justamonkey]
    #5238068 -

Only until you examine the price tag of the anger you have just "purchased."  Anger ties my stomach in knots (literally AND figuratively :tongue:), uses up my energy, distracts me from my goals, poisons my blood with adrenaline, shortens my lifespan, increases my chronic back pain, and disturbs my emotional peace.

The person I become angry at experiences none of these consequences.  Perhaps they "deserve" my anger, perhaps their actions were truly outrageous and malicious.  But why punish myself for what they have done?

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Veritas]
    #5238129 -

That's the deal exactly.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: The silliness of anger [Re: Icelander]
    #5885587 -

bump


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"Everything is not as it seems." Eye

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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