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Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance)
    #900335 -

Hi everybody.

First off, it looks like there are lots of posts made sense I was last here. I have been off dealing with a rather unpleasant sitution else were on the board........ But I am now back here. Unfortunately, I have chosen to get high at this moment. These means that I cannot read all of those posts that I would like, but for some reason, I myself can write amazingly well? It does not make sense. Anyway.

I have a problem with keeping my temper. 4 years ago I was court ordered to take an anger management class because I was convicted of battery (I was INNOCENT, there wasn't even a victim). After the initiate meeting, I wasn't asked to come back by the counsilors as there little test thingie says I don't get pissed to easily.

I like to think that this is true enough, I can usually take quiet a bit. But once I do loose it, I find I have little restraint on myself. Not only do I become physically violant, but I am prone to verbal threats and claims of the outragous, or just saying the meanest thingie at the time.

Now, I think I have had a chance to observe myself. and I have come to a conclution. The things most likily to piss me off (accept for like rape or something) are those that question my authority, knowledge, ect..... So is it not anger, but in Arrogance that I act? "How dare they? they must die?" It arrogance that lays the attack, not anger.....

Strange I was always told as a child I couldn't do anything right.... perhaps now I overcompensate for thoughs feelings. Or I may just be vain... I hope not.

I was really interested in the earlier talk of the egoless self. or something (remember I am high). If that before I can move any farther in becoming my ideal self. I think I must humble myself.
Actually I have known this for a long time, but haven't acted on it. Which has bite me in the ass time after time.

So how do I do this? Serviace to others? I don't think that would affect the root of the cause.

I fear being stupid, socially dumb, ectra. I desperately fear it. So I try to hard and become awkard. When people in some direct or indirct way accuse me of being less then what I appear, I fear being found out for a phony, and turn violent. Violence is the last resort of a desperate animal indeed. Before I can cease the anger, I must cease living in fear of being inadequate?

Make sense to anyone else, and if not, why?


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #900375 -

The Arrogant and Proud Man.
Although he may initially disguise it, this man's touchy pride makes him very dangerous. Any perceived slight will lead to a vengeance of overwhelming violence. You may say to yourself, "But I only said such-and-such at a party, where everyone was drunk..." It does not matter. There is no sanity behind his overreaction, so do not waste time trying to figure him out. If at any point in your dealings with a person you sense an oversensitive and overactive pride, flee. Whatever you are hoping for from him isn't worth it.

-"The 48 Laws of Power" Greene and Elffers


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Sclorch]
    #900381 -

and on top of that, my lighter is out.....

sclorch, is my solution to kill myself, or become a hermit?


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #900385 -

False dilemma...
Take more mushrooms... learn to control your irrational tendencies.


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Note: In desperate need of a cure...

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Sclorch]
    #900386 -

I have never had psycidelics, but if truly you consider, I will try mushrooms, many people say they are helpful in catharsis


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #900400 -

Fear's a motherfucker, ain't it?

It's the boxless box. You recocgnize what you need to do to get out of it, you have the desire to do it, yet when you try to escape it you find that there is no box to get out of. Yet, there is one. But wait.. it's self created.. what the hell is going on. That probably didn't make a hell of a lot of sense, eh? LOL.

I don't know what you should do to get over your fears but if you ever figure it out let me know. I'll do the same...


--------------------
"I see!" said the blind man to his deaf wife.

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #900401 -

In reply to:
I fear being stupid, socially dumb, ectra. I desperately fear it. So I try to hard and become awkard.

Before I can cease the anger, I must cease living in fear of being inadequate?





don't try so hard!
and yes
that's what I've learned in dealing with my anxiety...
I have an inadequacy/inferiority complex because of stupid shit socially and with my parents... and I believe that's the main cause of my anxiety problem... you might have some complex that results in anger rather than anxiety? I dunno. people react to issues differently. but once you identify your problem and accept it it becomes easier to leave it behind and actually grow, instead of pushing that problem aside and covering it up with a fake confidence in yourself which you depend on to function normally...
when you can accept everything that's happened in your life and the fact that those things have contributed to the person you have turned out to be, you can look at yourself honestly and find things that are lacking in your personality or psyche or whatever you would like to call it, and allow yourself to grow instead of pretending you already have
does that make sense?


--------------------
The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader


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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Albino_Jesus]
    #900418 -

p.s.
ignore everything I just said because it's one of those annoying things that are hard to put into words,  because it's just my own private understanding of how *I* work, which is difficult to conceptualize let alone translate to language, and might not even apply to you anyway
I wish I didn't have ridiculous, non-language-based thought-process thingies
stupid brain  :mad:


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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader


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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Albino_Jesus]
    #900497 -

Everything you said made total sense to me. Heh, that's exactly why I have such a hard time explaining myself man. I can see/feel/think it without words so clearly and speedily that trying to slow down the thoughts and put them into words is really hard. That statement doesn't even explain it good.. oh well, heh.


--------------------
"I see!" said the blind man to his deaf wife.

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #901296 -

I think you put your finger right on it. Violent and angry outbursts are responses to fear. Luckily, most of the fears that trigger such outbursts are not legitimate threats, and learning to recognize those triggers can very effectively quell the urge to react angrily. Observing your behavior like that is a step in the right direction. It took me a while to learn that reacting in a negative way (with anger, violence) seems to ALWAYS make the situation worse than if I had kept my cool. The more you resent people or things, the more pain they cause you. If they are MAKING you respond in a particular manner, then they have power over you. If you don't allow them to control you by choosing how you want to react, that power becomes yours. It takes practice, but the good news is, every situation you encounter offers you an opportunity to practice that skill.

Good luck, and don't take ANYTHING too seriously.


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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Sclorch]
    #901372 -

your emotions overpower your rational thought. learn to give your rational faculties a chance to operate before your emotional modifier systems go berzerk.


--------------------
All refrences to and statements concerning mushrooms, mushroom cultivation, and mushroom related paraphrenalia refer specifically to the cultivation of legal species.

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #901411 -

just use mindfulness, when you get upset, realize that you are upset, then try to think why am i upset. when you do this its like shining a light in darkness, the darkness has to be dispelled.


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if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: CleverName]
    #901477 -

its true, you can step back away from your throbbing emotions and think clearly, if you try

i know when i get really angry, I feel like if i dont follow through with my anger than I am being 'weak'. theres this voice shouting at me to do whatever on impulse. thats a very dangerous way to be.

when you feel that anger welling up inside of you, do not act on it, but analyze it

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Re: Anger makes me do stupid shit (or is it arrogance) [Re: Grav]
    #901494 -

and i say these things out of experience, when i was younger i was in many a scuffle, i would t-bomb on poor kids just b/c they said something i didnt like, or i was drunk.  i boxed for many years, went through many competitions, won golden gloves, so it was no joke when i fought.  how foolish i was...and it did stem from my own fears or worries...these days i tre to practice selflessness and i have tamed my anger greatly, even my friends want to know what happened to me, so look up b/c you can do it! :wink: 


--------------------
if you can't find the truth right where you are, where else do you expect to find it?

this is the purpose

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