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InvisibleFloydian
veteran
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 1,022
Psychedelic Healing
    #571550 - 03/06/02 12:12 PM (22 years, 28 days ago)

I'm having a sort of mental dillema. For the past few months I've been dealing with some depression and lonelyness. This has led to a general dislike for life and my current situation. It has drained my motivation. i seem to have lost hope for the possibilities of the new day.

I've lost touch with my music and art. I just don't get that same feeling and anticipation I used to get. Their is just something missing.

I'm pretty aware of the reasons to why this has happend. I've been through a couple of moves and havn't had positive contact with another human being in a really long time. Too much time spent with people who I don't get along with and no rewarding relationships. Lots of loneliness and isolation.

I've recently moved out of a bad situation and have come back home to live with my family. The move has improved things but there still is a large element of emptyness and hopelessness.

There is light at the end of the tunnel as I should be starting at a new school in the summer. This school excites me and I am looking forward to the move.

But in the mean time i seem to be in purgatory. I just can't find a driving force to keep me going.

So I want to try and help this situation through the use of psychedelics. I know that they can be a great tool for psychological healing but I need advice on the best way to make sure my experience is helpful and not retroactive.

I plan on using HBWR seeds (my first time). I am quite experienced with the traditional psychedelics but in the past I usually had more recreational purposes for using them. I would prefer to be using mushrooms or MDMA for this journey but those are not available at the moment.

I plan on tripping alone because as of now I don't have a suitable trip partner.

I need advice on technics that can help guide me through this experience. Metitation is interesting but to tell you the truth I'm not sure I know how to properly do it. What does one metitate on? What questions should I be asking myself during the trip? What mental scenarios should I persue?

Breathing techniques? Physical exercises? Fasting? Anything you guys can offer is apprieciated. I know this is a lot to be asking people who don't even know me but I am hoping maybe you could at least point me in the right direction.

Thanks


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Don't squeeze the pancake batter

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Invisiblemr crisper
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Registered: 07/24/00
Posts: 928
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #571864 - 03/06/02 07:44 PM (22 years, 28 days ago)

first up, in my experience and friends close to me, hbwr seeds give a fairly dark trip - auditory hallucinations rather than visual. often a persistent creepy voice whispering away inside your head for the duration.
for soul searching, shrooms and rue top my list, followed by straight shrooms, then dpt then mda, but to each his own.
everyone has their preferred methods, i guess this is as good as any- before you dose write down your questions/desires. dont eat anything on the day you trip or as little as possible. dose up. try and spend a good proportion of the trip in a dark quiet room, sitting still, breathing softly, keep your mind as calm as possible.
i know that when we trip our minds race around, getting an overload of info. because we are focusing our attention on external stimulii. try to focus internally, shut your eyes, dont get too lost in the swirling colors and flashing lights, it is a show to distract you, a ruse to stop you going deeper. listen intently, possibly you will tune into a high pitched noise in the back of your head, focus on this sound and it will grow in stature, where it goes from here is up to you.
another technique is to sit and look at whatever religious image suits you, christ, buddha, indian deities, mandalas (these 2 become "thought tunnels"), tarot cards. but i should point out these can become very very potent. to quote tuco the rat -"you can feel the devil bite your ass"
if things do get too freaky, get up and do something physical, take a piss, drink some water, stamp your feet, this helps you break away.
it is unlikely there is a 1 sentence answer that will give you enlightenment and happiness (if there is please share). your entire life is the continually unfolding answer to what you seek, the best you can hope for is a sense of direction.
view your sense of emptiness and hopelessness as the force that drives you forward. you wouldnt be considering this if you felt good about everything.
alan watts described tripping as akin to climbing a tall tree in a forest, it gives you an indication as to which direction you should be heading in. at the same time it is pointless to climb every tree on your path thru the forest.

Edited by mr crisper (03/06/02 07:45 PM)

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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #571893 - 03/06/02 08:26 PM (22 years, 28 days ago)

Go with Peruvian Torch, or if you are more daring, ayahuasca. These entheogens tend to allow more emotional healing than mushrooms IMHO. I do not recommend LSAs (HBWR).


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The proof is in the pudding.

Edited by Swami (03/06/02 08:37 PM)

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InvisibleFloydian
veteran
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 1,022
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: mr crisper]
    #571985 - 03/06/02 10:18 PM (22 years, 28 days ago)

Thanks crisper.

I was begining to question LSA's potential for a psychedelic healer and decided to check my local nurseries for some cacti. To my delight I found many large San Pedro and purchased a "two headed" cactus. One stalk is about two feet and the other is about 8 inchs.

So I've made the no-brainer decision to go with the San Pedro over the HBWR. This will be my first experience with this cacti.

Thanks again.


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Don't squeeze the pancake batter

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OfflineTypingwords
Veteran Seasonal PNW Hunter
I'm a teapot

Registered: 08/04/01
Posts: 171
Loc: seattle-ish area, WA
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #572024 - 03/06/02 11:13 PM (22 years, 28 days ago)

Also you definitely have the right idea with the breathing exercises. It's probably the simplest and most effective way to instantly reduce depression and anxiety. Look up some yoga breathing exercises such as breath of fire and long deep breathing. I also suggest you give the actual yoga asanas a try too. If you do and do them right you will be pleasantly surprised. Of course not everyone is open to this.

It's amazing how just changing your breathing can drastically change your mental and physical symptoms. Unfortunately I've found it hard to keep breathing that way throughout the day without having to constantly be conscious of my breathing, but I've recently found that certain asanas help to automatically change my breathing for longer periods of time.

But if you take my advice on all that, just make you are doing the exercises correctly and don't rush through them or they won't work. THe most important part of yoga is not how you physically perform the asanas, but how you breathe during them (deeply and with awareness).

Also the aerobic exercise will of course help. Try jogging, or jogging in place while punching. I've lately just been jumping around in the morning pretending like I know how to do martial arts, and that helps me a lot.

In order of importance (if it's instant results your looking for) I would say breathing, exercise, then yoga. Also, the exercise will help to further expand your lungs to further enhance your breathing exercises.

Oh yeah and meditation! unfortunately that can be really hard at first. but keep in mind that your progressing even when it doesn't seem that way. ANd you dont' have to meditate on anything, like what crisper was saying about your trip. Meditating isn't necessarily supposed to be on anything. It's more like thinking about nothing so you can hear your true self instead of your stupid brain. Or some people say it's so you can hear god. I say you are god. Just look into it, read some shit on it. oh yeah and usually people say you have to try meditating for a long time, but I have only done it a few times, and the one time I was able to turn my thoughts off for a few minutes I had a very profound experience. ANd apparently it only gets stronger the more you do it. So I am very excited about this shit. yes! free drugs inside of me! And the tolerance only decreases! YOur soul really is a drug I think. Well I guess it's the other way around.

good luck with your trip. I think it's best that you don't have a trip partner. Also consider these ideas about breathing and yoga when you're tripping and see how you feel about them.


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everything everyone everywhere.
forever and ever

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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #572140 - 03/07/02 12:57 AM (22 years, 27 days ago)

Good choice!


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The proof is in the pudding.

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InvisibleFloydian
veteran
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 1,022
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Swami]
    #585280 - 03/21/02 12:52 PM (22 years, 13 days ago)

Well here's hpw everything turned out. I submited this report to erowid today. Check it out if you wish.

I had my first experience with San Pedro (mescaline) a couple nights ago. It was a really positive experience and surprisingly intense. I really can't believe I got the results I did from a legal cactus. I wager to say mescaline is the best psychedelic I've tried, but it's hard to say for sure because it's so new to me. I really put a lot of time and effort into this trip. I planned and mentally prepared myself for about 3 weeks. I planned on a solo trip starting at midnight and ending mid-day. I cleaned up our "jam room" (where I and my brothers keep our musical instruments) and turned it into meditation/trip sanctuary. I cleared the floor of debris and set up a blanket and some pillows in the middle. One candle was lit and placed in the middle of the room near the blankets. I read up on some basic yoga and meditation practices. Breathing techniques as well.

Two night?s prior I started making the "tea". I started by cutting about 13 inches of stalk off of the cactus. A pretty hefty amount of plant material for one dose. I had read many preparations that involve despineing and skinning the cactus. But I soon realized that chopping up the cacti whole was much easier and less time consuming. From what I read the end product should be no different.

Then the cactus was chopped like a carrot into small pieces, then placed in a blender with a little water and ground into a pulp. The frothy liquid was poured into a large pot along with about 4oz of lemon juice to help extraction. This mixture was then boiled lightly for about 25 minutes. After letting mixture cool it was poured through a T-shirt cloth to filter out pulp. Liquid was saved and pulp replaced into pot along with more water and lemon juice. The process was repeated two more times to make certain extraction was complete. All three liquids were combined into one. I froze the liquid overnight. The next evening I decided boiled the mixture down to about a coffee cups worth of liquid.

The "tea" was a green "sludge" that tasted absolutely awful. The taste hit the outer edges of the tongue with intense bitterness and lingered for long after swallowing. It felt like I was drinking my own stomach acid. It took my about 30 to 45 minutes to finish the coffee cup worth of concentrated cactus juice.

The words of the great Hunter S. Thompson rang true, "...mescaline comes on slow. The first hour is all waiting, and about half-way through the second hour you start cursing the creep who burned you, because nothing is happening ...and then Zang! Fiendish intensity, strange glow and vibrations..."

The first couple of hours were spent in silence and meditation. I followed a meditation technique called "candle meditation". This is where you sit cross-legged in front of a candle breathing steadily and deeply while staring at a candle. All thoughts are pushed from the mind as you concentrate on the candle. Trying to make the candle and only the candle consume your thoughts. Then after several minutes the eyes are closed and you attempt to hold the image of the candle in the mind for as long as possible. It was a lot more challenging than I expected. Especially as the drug took a stronger and stronger hold on me. I soon decided that sound was needed to help guide my thoughts as things were really starting the flow. The next few hours were spent lying on my back staring up at the ceiling with only the moonlight and lightning from the approaching storm to illuminate the room. Ambient music was played through the stereo. I went from Boards of Canada to some African Drummer whose name escapes me at the moment.

A deep state of peace was reached and maintained for quite some time. I not sure exactly how long I lay there but it was pretty amazing stuff. I then started to get restless. I tried fooling with audio programs and guitar but my mind wasn't clicking with that sort of thinking at the moment. I suddenly got the urge to run. I went outside and sprinted down the sidewalk to unknown destination. I maintained a high speed for quite some time and just went the direction that felt natural. The atmosphere was very cool and damp with light rain showers ever now and again. Everything had this vibration or pulsing to it. It became more apparent with the introduction or elimination of a light source. Everything in my field of vision literally shimmered. The visuals where more fluid and organic, closer to mushroom induced visions that LSD, but still nothing like the two. They were less tactile and vivid than mushroom visuals which was surprising. The Mushroom is still the only psychedelic that has produced vivid and "real" looking visual effects for me. This is probably a dosage-related issue though.

The physical sensations were pretty amazing as well. Almost MDMA like, but without the urgency that I suspect the Methamphetamine properties of methylenedioxy-n-methylamphetamine are responsible for. The sense of well being was also reminisant of my MDMA experiences but again not quite the same. This was deeper and more focused, less frantic and jumbled than MDMA. It was unique because unlike with mushrooms and LSD my mind wasn't frantically grabbing at ideas and concepts. No new insights or cosmic thoughts were introduced that hadn't been there before. The cactus didn't seem to be pushing my mind in any certain direction. It was more just a feeling of peace and fulfillment.

I chalk this up to the nature of the drug and my mind set going into the trip. I had really wanted this to be sort of a therapy session. A chance to get back in touch with that spark I seemed to have lost in the past few years.

After the running I returned to my room. I started to take note of the one mistake I made for this trip. I had already been awake for 12 hours prior to ingesting the cactus. So I was physically exhausted and still had six hours or so until this drug was going to let me sleep. This only caused temporary discomfort though. After cleaning up my mess from the "jam room", I took my headphones, a book, and a drawing pad up to my bedroom. The rest of the trip was ridden out in a sort of trance state in bed with headphones. It was a lot like lucid dreaming in a way. My body actually felt rested but my mind was still off creating its own little world of light and sound. I wasn't quite aware of the passage of time. After a while it was hard to tell just how long I had been lying their. The only gauge I had was the beginning and end of CD's.

When the sun started to come up I opened my window and watched the new day begin. I fluctuated from staring out my window to lying in bed with the headphones and a book until noon came around and I started to come out of my trip. I was amazed by the endurance of the cactus. A number of times throughout the trip I noted that I felt that the peak was over. But then a few minutes down the line I would have to retract that because the next wave had begun to take shape. And it really didn't seem to taper off noticeably until about the tenth or eleventh hour. The come down was smooth and gradual. I was a little edgy by the late afternoon from not sleeping but other than this there were no negative after-effects noticed.

All in all it was a good experience. I now hold San Pedro in very high respect. I hope to let what is left of my cactus grow for at least a year (if possible) until I take cuttings from it again. I also have seeds and hope to attempt to cultivate a few. I suggest you try to obtain a specimen of these cacti for yourself. It's well worth it.


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Don't squeeze the pancake batter

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OfflineskaMariaPastora
Utopiate
Registered: 03/14/01
Posts: 443
Loc: MA
Last seen: 21 years, 26 days
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #585388 - 03/21/02 02:44 PM (22 years, 13 days ago)

Nice, that was a really good trip report. It sounds like it was a great tript too. I can't wait until I try some San Pedro, its definitely next on my list. I hope you achieved some kind of sense of meaning and inspiration in your life, I think you went about it very well.

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InvisibleFloydian
veteran
Registered: 05/13/00
Posts: 1,022
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: skaMariaPastora]
    #585871 - 03/21/02 11:45 PM (22 years, 13 days ago)

Thanks :smile:. I feel like this trip definetly helped me get back into the groove as far as my music and creative side goes. But my emotional side still has something missing. I've kind of figured that I won't truly be able to emerge from this emotional trough I'm in until i finally move back up to Chicago in a few months. Then I will be able to reconnect with my friends and loved ones.

I'm more centered now and I feel like I'm up to the challenge of facing these last few months alone so that is good.

Cheers.


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Don't squeeze the pancake batter

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OfflinecHeMiCaLoRaNgE
journeyman
Registered: 03/14/02
Posts: 51
Loc: Saskatoon, SK., Canada
Last seen: 22 years, 10 days
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #586659 - 03/22/02 06:47 PM (22 years, 12 days ago)

phycadelics will bring you closer to your spirit, and more importantly god if they are used with good intentions, not just to get high. you must learn to mediate, draw kandalini energy, and to strengthen and balance your chakra's. There are dangers however, you must read, read, and read some more so you don't end up like me with damaged and unbalanced chakra's. if done correctly these things will help you in understanding life experinces, fill you with joy, tell you your purpose in life, and bring you closer to god and your true self( your spiri)t. you can start your never ending journey here ( www.spiritweb.org ).


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<+> wOrLd PhIlOsOpHy CaN OnLy bE UnDeRsToOd ThRoUgH aStRaL aWaKeNiNg<+>

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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
Male User Gallery

Registered: 05/08/01
Posts: 23,563
Loc: city of angels
Last seen: 1 day, 16 hours
Re: Psychedelic Healing [Re: Floydian]
    #587378 - 03/23/02 02:24 PM (22 years, 11 days ago)

sounds like you had a great experience.  great trip report!  san pedro has to be on the top of my list.. right up there with those magical fungi that most of us are so fond of :cool:  good luck with your move and i wish you the best
 


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··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...

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