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My newest near death experience
    #5771677 -

I just thought id share my newest and by far closest near death experience. I dont mean to be an egotistical prick or anything but I'm one hard headed motherfucker. Literally.

How many people can actually say they were hit head first by a speeding car and not only got up and walked away from it but hardly even felt it. I was drunk and stoned but it still should have hurt.

Heres some pics for your viewing pleasure.


Its only been a few days and im already healing up nicely. Swelling went down a bit and im able to move my fingers a little more.

Heres how it went down. I was walking out of the bar at around 3 in the morning on friday night. Unluckily I got split up from my brothers and friends. I was crossing the road and a drunken driver sped around the corner and hit me and drove off.

I dont remember too much but I remember thinking it was like getting punched in the face ridiculously hard. Soon after I got up and started walking home thinking I was fine. Luckily there was a witness and they called an ambulanc which got there pretty fast because when I looked at the police card the next morning it said they found me only a block away from the bar.

I dont remember much but in the hospital they were telling me I wouldnt get in the ambulance and I was saying it was only a scratch. I remember bits and pieces of the paramedics trying to stop the bleeding and they got me to sit down. When I was sitting down I remember looking at the ground and seeing huge drops of blood hitting the ground and eventually the immobilized me got me in the stetcher and put me in the ambulance.

One thing I remember in the ambulance is the paramedics asking me if I knew first aid so they obviously searched through my wallet and found my first aid card I got about a week earlier. Another thing they asked me was if I took any drugs on top of the booze. I thought the best thing to do was tell the truth so I admitted I took some ectasy.

After that I remember pretty clearly the surgeon stitching me up. I remember I was cracking stupid racist jokes which I thought were hilarious and the surgeon was getting pissed off because whenever I laughed the stitches pulled apart. Another thing I remember is the surgeon saying "I like your outlook you maniac". I found that pretty funny.

After that all I remember before waking up the next morning is them giving me a bottle to piss in but it wouldnt come out because I was lying down so I kept getting off the bed and standing up to piss and that really pissed the nurses off. It came out eventually and they must have gave me an injection to sleep because all I remember after that is waking up at 10:00 the next morning.

Next morning I woke up and I was dying to take a piss so I pulled the drip outta my arm and went to the bathroom. There were also these sticky pads stuck to my chest so I ripped them off too. Once I looked in the miror I was surprised to see I was a bloody mess. My face hadnt been cleaned so it wwas covered in blood. Didnt take me long to remember what happened.

After taking a piss I walked back to my bed to find my clothes and the nurse was pissed because I pulled the drip needle out and it was bleeding. The nurse started asking me all sorts of questions and eventually she pulled my clothes and walled and shit out from under the bed. I showed her my medical card and started getting dressed. Before I left I wasnt very surprised to see my pillow and bed sheets were covered in blood.

After I got my card back I started walking towards the exit and the receptionist and nurses stopped me and said I cant leave yet. They said the police need to ask me some questions. Then they gave me this crackhead shirt to wear because the paramedic used my t-shirt to stop the bleeding.

I really wasnt in the mood to answer questions so once I had a chance I got the fuck outta there. When I got home my ma freaked out she thought Igot in a bar fight. A few hours later I went to another hospital to get an x-ray on my hand which was fucked up. I found out my hand was broken in two places.

All in all the damage is 15 stitches on my forehead, a broken nose and a broken hand. All I can say is im one lucky bastard I didnt get killed. I talked to the police after and they said the witness said it all happened so fast all they saw was a black car driving away. They have no suspects. I hope they catch the bastard so I can sue his ass and make a nit of money off this.

Werdly enough I dont feel any pain and I havent even taken an asparin. The broken hand pisses me off because I wont be able to work until it heals. On the bright side Im gonna have a pretty badass scar. Women love that kinda shit.


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Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771684 -

:lol:

You my good man are a moron.  A funny moron though. 

It's not meant to be a flame.  :grin:


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771687 -

holy fuck man, you're really lucky you didn't die. gnarly story though, and i hope that scar heals nicely.

shit, you're tougher than i am. i would have been chillin at the hospital tellin em to keep me opiated for at least a week.

good luck


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:blindfury::fried::psychsplit::vaped:

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771692 -

Wow, impressive story  :shocked:
That is too bad that they can't find the driver, you're missing out on a lot of money. How did the car hit you? It looks like you went headfirst into the car. If it hit your body you would be pretty bruised up there. How did you break your hand. Was it the impact on the ground that did it?

Give us a picture update once it heals up and the scar becomes visible

You say your newest near death experience, what were your previous experiences?



--------------------
futuretribe.space

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: cybrbeast]
    #5771721 -

Im pretty sure I stepped out to cross the road and when I noticed it coming I turned my head facing the car and put my arm out to protect myself. The car obviously knocked me outta the way when my head hit the windscreen. Thank god I turned my head because the foreheads tough but the side of the head and id be a deadman or at least a vegetable.

Also pretty lucky I hadnt stepped out any further. I probably woulda went under or over and woulda died or been really badly injured.


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Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771747 -

Quote:
You say your newest near death experience, what were your previous experiences?


Theyre nothing comparedto thisone.

1.) I was about 15 and I was drinking on a 1 story rooftop with a bunch of friends. We were always hurting ourselves up ther but this topped it off. There was a small shed we used to get up and down off the roof. As I was getting down my foot got stuck in the gutter. I fell head first onto the shed roof, rolled off the edge, fell over the brick wall into the neighbours garden and landed on a pile of leaves. The near death part was the fact my head missed the wall by about an inch. I had a messed up leg after that but no broken bones.

2.) I was at work tearing down a brick wall last summer. As I was cleaning up I wasnt paying attention to the loose bricks overhead. A pile of them fell down and a few of them hit me in the head. Amazingly it didnt even hurt all that much. Must have just skimmed my head because realistically falling bricks shoulda been enough to crack my head open. Then again so should a speeding car but I didnt even have
a concussion.

All I can say is im one lucky bastard.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771849 -

Damn dude, that is a totally awesome scar. Imagine the stories you're going to be telling about the time a car hit you IN THE HEAD and you walked away from it... :P

NDE's are totally awesome... despite the physical trauma that usually triggers them...

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771850 -

Also, you seriously need to make that first image your avatar.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #5771930 -

Avatar ready image (80x80)


Or you can use this one if you want people to be able to see more detail after they click your avatar


Cousteau, IMO your avatar would look better without the white lines


--------------------
futuretribe.space

Edited by cybrbeast (06/20/06 10:08 AM)

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5771983 -

yeah, I hit a median on the expressway at ~60mph, front end of the car was gone. I had a bruise from the seatbelt. Its crazy when you walk away from a mesh of crunched up car - perfectly okay.


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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5772012 -

Damn!!

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5772095 -

I got hit by a motorcycle 3 years ago, I remember crossing the road to halfway, and then the next concious scene was waking up in the middle of the road staring up at the stars, I had blacked out for two mins I was told.

I suffered a brain hemmorage which would have been fatal if I have not gone into op within the next few hours. But I also felt virtually no pain at all, just a slight pain in my leg and my head felt fragile but no pain there. Apparently my head was bleeding all across the road!

Anyhows after the op I was offered morphine but didn't want it because I didn't need it. Was given a prescription of codeine on my leave which I didn't take as well. This was before I discovered the joys of opiates and now I really wish I had 'just said yes' :laugh: There was a patient straight across from me who obviously had serious mental disabilities, he could hardly string a coherant sentence together and even managed to smoke weed in the quiet/smoking room of the hospital ward without anyone of the staf noticing, he said that he was homeless for 10 years and had only just gotten a place to live. This guy was really messed up both in life and metal ability and I really felt sorry for him. He offered me my first ever joint there and it felt great for a few minutes before I felt really sick and dizzy and spent ages in the toilet throwing up and getting paranoid about the staff guessing why. bit of a pointless write up bit I just thought I'd share for anyone who might be interested. Plus how many people can boast that they had their first toke in a hospital :wink:


--------------------
"The only thing I'm high on is Love for my Son and Daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need."
-Marge Simpson

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5772117 -

:eek:

fuck man!! youre a badass  :cool:


--------------------
\m/ Spanksta \m/

"do you have the freedom to do with your nervous system what you want?"

"MolokoMilkPlus said:
I'll respect you if you let me give you a blow job"

"tactik said:
respect the can."


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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: eligal]
    #5773388 -

Alright I added the picture as my avatar.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5773445 -

Cool, now no one will ever forget who jonnyjonjonjon is  :grin:

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5773469 -

jonnyjonjonjon said:
Quote:
You say your newest near death experience, what were your previous experiences?


Theyre nothing comparedto thisone.

1.) I was about 15 and I was drinking on a 1 story rooftop with a bunch of friends. We were always hurting ourselves up ther but this topped it off. There was a small shed we used to get up and down off the roof. As I was getting down my foot got stuck in the gutter. I fell head first onto the shed roof, rolled off the edge, fell over the brick wall into the neighbours garden and landed on a pile of leaves. The near death part was the fact my head missed the wall by about an inch. I had a messed up leg after that but no broken bones.

2.) I was at work tearing down a brick wall last summer. As I was cleaning up I wasnt paying attention to the loose bricks overhead. A pile of them fell down and a few of them hit me in the head. Amazingly it didnt even hurt all that much. Must have just skimmed my head because realistically falling bricks shoulda been enough to crack my head open. Then again so should a speeding car but I didnt even have
a concussion.

All I can say is im one lucky bastard.


maybe you should avoid brick walls... they dont seem to be your friend.


--------------------
PM me reading suggestions, I might just take you up on your offer.

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: wwonka]
    #5978414 -

As if the initial accident wasnt bad enough, I got in a fight with a friend yesterday and he punched me in the head and split the scar open again. I had to get 6 more stitches. I'll put up some pics when I have time. I also broke my baby finger again when I punched him in the nose.
When I got to the hospital my clothes were covered in blood but it wasnt my blood. They thought I killed someone at first.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5978628 -

Ha ha ha,and i thought Scots people were mad, but your fucking amazing :thumbup:

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: drowneduck]
    #5980470 -

Jesus Jonny...take 'er easy.

Great story. :thumbup: :thumbup:

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Re: My newest near death experience [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #5980489 -

I had 2 friends that actually died and came back to life, there is a afterlife, my one friend seen his life flash in front of him and thinks he was in hell from overdosing doing speedballs.
The other friend says he met god and didnt tell me much else...he died 3 times and came back to life from complications from colitous.

Edited by skunk78395 (08/19/06 11:50 PM)

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