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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4660871 -

you get 5 :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: MJF]
    #4661399 -

The only thing bothering me then is... telling the truth to my parents.

They do ask, and I always lie."

If you live in their house and they feed you, they have a right to tell you what to do. It is their house. Grow up, finish school, and move out...better yet, move out now and be an adult. As an adult you are equal to them and you have no moral obligation to explain your activities. So, assume responsibility for yourself. You are crippling yourself by accepting their handouts. If you do this I am sure they will be proud of you for having the courage to break free.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4661444 -

Good marks from me as well.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4662228 -

Yeah parents are a touchy subject. My mom especially says she will never understand why anyone uses drugs under any circumstances. Trying to convince her otherwise has proved futile (and frustrating). Weird thing is she opposes psychedelics one of the most because she is convinced it is fucking up my mind. Some people will never be convinced, no matter what evidence is thrown at them. If its someone you dont know too well then fuck em.. But with my parents, I just accept it. I mean they have fed and clothed me and helped me with so much throughout my life, and even their opposition to my drug use is because they feel it is to protect me. Removing them from my life for something like this would be selfish of me. Best thing you can do is keep proving them wrong. Become successful, become independent, and when you get your ass outta there and into your own place you can use at your leisure. But dont forget everything your parents do for you just because they are against one thing.


--------------------
-CUBErt
:cubie::levitate::cubie:

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: CUBErt]
    #4662394 -

i try not to associate with people who think drug-use is bad, even though most of my friends dont do drugs they have an open mind to me using them and will often even help me if i need a sitter or something.

I think those are the type of people you need to find, if you cant just either dont tell them, or convince them its ok.

keep in mind you can change the reasons you do drugs to help you convince them?


Quote:
Yeah parents are a touchy subject. My mom especially says she will never understand why anyone uses drugs under any circumstances. Trying to convince her otherwise has proved futile (and frustrating). Weird thing is she opposes psychedelics one of the most because she is convinced it is fucking up my mind. Some people will never be convinced, no matter what evidence is thrown at them. If its someone you dont know too well then fuck em.. But with my parents, I just accept it. I mean they have fed and clothed me and helped me with so much throughout my life, and even their opposition to my drug use is because they feel it is to protect me. Removing them from my life for something like this would be selfish of me. Best thing you can do is keep proving them wrong. Become successful, become independent, and when you get your ass outta there and into your own place you can use at your leisure. But dont forget everything your parents do for you just because they are against one thing.


that is very good advice, it is extremely immature to hold a grudge against your parents when in all honesty they are trying to look out for your best interests (even if it is what they want and not what you want as is in my case) but they still gave you a place to live and food so the least you can do is keep drug use while under their responsibility to a minimum or even not at all (i have to hide it very well, sometimes rather difficult)


--------------------
"It is easier to teach a computer to play chess than to build a mudpie."Sherry Turkle Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts"-Einstein
:mrt: I pity the fool who break traffic laws with $870,000 of drugs in the car.      -mo0nlite_sonata
Psythos

Edited by TheGus (09/14/05 09:10 PM)

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: TheGus]
    #4662416 -

yeah i don't even use at my parents house. and i don't really hold a grudge with them....they just like to bitch at me about it...and i find that to be stupid. doesn't go anywhere.

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: MJF]
    #4663195 -

Yeah, still being in high school and living under my parents' roof, I sometimes think I may have discovered drugs too early. But it usually isnt that hard to keep it out of their house and do stuff while you are out and about.


--------------------
-CUBErt
:cubie::levitate::cubie:

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: MJF]
    #4663780 -

They bitch at you because you are 22, not finished with college, and you are still living with them. I am a parent with a child who will turn 18 in less than a month. My daughter has already arranged to attend college in another city, and she has no intention or desire of returning here to live. She has had a great home life, but she now desires to be an adult. I have encouraged independance in her since she was born. She is an A student in high school and she already has been accepted to the college of her choice. She has never used drugs, because as a legal minor in my home I have never encouraged or allowed it for development reasons, even though I am a psychedelic enthusiast. I have provided her with an education about the nature of these substances and after she turns 18 I am sure she will make sane choices about her life in this regard. As long as you are beholding to your parents they have moral authority over you, so for God's sake...and your parent's...move out. My parents quit worying about my doings (at about 19) when I had demonstrated that I was a stable and independant person.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: TheGus]
    #4664003 -

Quote:
when in all honesty they are trying to look out for your best interests


Another fallacy. His parents are looking out for their best interests and protecting their limited world view by attempting to restrict his.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4664013 -

Huehuecoyotl said:
They bitch at you because you are 22, not finished with college, and you are still living with them. I am a parent with a child who will turn 18 in less than a month. My daughter has already arranged to attend college in another city, and she has no intention or desire of returning here to live. She has had a great home life, but she now desires to be an adult. I have encouraged independance in her since she was born. She is an A student in high school and she already has been accepted to the college of her choice. She has never used drugs, because as a legal minor in my home I have never encouraged or allowed it for development reasons, even though I am a psychedelic enthusiast. I have provided her with an education about the nature of these substances and after she turns 18 I am sure she will make sane choices about her life in this regard. As long as you are beholding to your parents they have moral authority over you, so for God's sake...and your parent's...move out. My parents quit worying about my doings (at about 19) when I had demonstrated that I was a stable and independant person.


Great advice.  :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4664032 -

Quote:
Huehuecoyotl said:My parents quit worrying about my doings (at about 19) when I had demonstrated that I was a stable and independant person.


Same here.

P.S. Is that your dog in your avatar Hue? If so, what kind is he/she? Looks almost exactly like the English Field Setter we used to have. (Chest tumors :frown: ) He was a great dog... probably the friendliest animal I've ever met.

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Huehuecoyotl]
    #4664892 -

? will say, it is not all good to raise a child fo independence. It has two sides.
I was raised for that too, now my mother wonders, why I have no urge to meet her every month...

I have a strong urge for family, but this imprint (and some more stuff of my family) destroyed something inside me.

I only have the hope, to build my own family...some day. Even if I could have children over 18 just now...


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: BlueCoyote]
    #4666000 -

I have used positive stimuli to encorage independance. I ain't just trying to run my kids off. I am getting them excited about the outside world and the future. I am instilling in them just how limitless their potential is now at this time in their life. I think that I will see more of them during and after college. I expect that they will want to explore a few years after leaving (like I did) so I will not pressure them to come home. They will come around and see me in their own time...when they are ready. In the meantime I will have a blast with my newly regained freedom from responsibility. I can go back to being the asshole I used to be instead of having to be responsible for kids. I am excited about the future in this respect as well. I will travel and take the chances that I never could afford to take. Just three more years...and they will all be adults.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #4666011 -

"Yes he is a collie mix of some sort by the name of Leonard (after Leonard Cohen). He is also an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. He often posts during the day when I am at work...I just haven't taken his avatar down yet.


--------------------
"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: BlueCoyote]
    #4666036 -

True independence is not about disconnection, but self-trust.  If children are raised with lots of real love and appreciation for their essential selves, they develop self-trust and the sense that the world is a decent place to live in.

If they are damaged by being pushed into disconnection, they will struggle with independence.  The inner sense of being loveable and OK no matter what their current circumstances are is compromised.

The good news is (I believe) that you can learn to love and trust yourself later, if you are willing to accept those damaged parts of yourself.  :heart:

You can also have a family without having children.  Love makes a family, not biology.  My closest friends are my family, as are my two sons.

Much :heart: to you, dear one!

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Re: Being ethical and using drugs... [Re: Veritas]
    #4669976 -

hue, :grin: I appreciate your honesty (as ever) and I see to keep a bit of everlasting freedom, even within familarily deep bonds.
As I am not in the situation, as you, it is almost impossible to imagine how it is to have kids, but something in me sais, I always would show them a kind of my freedom, even if I would be still responsible for them (they not 18). It is for me the honesty, that drives me first..the honesty to myself and to my family...

veritas, :heart: thank you so much for sending those good vibes :smile:  I am only in a bizarre family situation, that leaves me alone for family-reasons, so I decided to 'pick' my own spiritual family, and ground with a futural woman an own (new and real) family... :smile:


--------------------
Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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