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Shop: Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Dell Tech Support
    #4570016 -

So my modem got fried during that crazy storm we had on Friday (dial-up is teh sucks) so I called Dell because I have a warranty still. I had already run all the trouble shooting and diagnostics on the modem....I get a technitian that doesn't speak english....

Me: Hi, can you please send me a new modem, my current on is busted.
Tech: I'll walk you through how to fix it.
Me: No, I've tried to fix it I've run all the troubleshooting as well as reinstalled it.
Tech: turn you computer on and off.
Me: I did that already.
Tech: Is is plugged in?
Me: I'm not an idiot, yes.
Tech: ok go to device manager, query your modem.
Me: did that already it says the modem is ok, but its not. I also have checked the phone line and all cords with another computer they are all fine.
Tech: ok we're going to run troubleshooting.
Me: Sir, I've already done it all (I do it again anyways)
Tech: ok reinstall your modem.
Me: Sir I've told you I've already done that.
Tech: look for the cd that says "modem helper"
Me: there is no cd called modem helper, do you mean the data/fax/modem cd?
Tech: yes that one.
Me: so it doesn't say modem helper then does it? and I've already run that, it says call tech support.
Tech: oh.
Me: aren't you tech support?
Tech: yes.
Me: ok so now what then?
Tech: I don't know.
Me: fuck let me speak to your supervisor.
.......waiting......guy hangs up.

So I call back
Me: hi, I was just speaking to a technitian here
Tech: oh yes bad connection, very bad.
Me: ok thats fine
Tech: ok get a screwdriver and open up the computer we're going to see if anything looks wrong inside.
Me: What?! I'm not opening my computer to just take a look around, can you please send some one to the house.
Tech: No I'll walk you threw it.
Me: I don't have a screwdriver. Let me speak to your supervisor.

....waiting....hangs up.

I called Blinkidiot....he saved the day!!!! I do in fact need a new modem. So I called Dell back....

Me: Hi, yes I need to order a new modem, mine is busted, I've called twice, and had to call someone in on my own, please send me a modem.
Tech: When did your modem stop working?
Me: during the electrical storm.
Tech: ok then its not covered under your warranty.
Me: why not? I have a full 1 year warranty.
Tech: the Warranty does not cover acts of god.
Me: Excuse me? Acts of god?
Tech: a storm is and act of god.
Me: well isn't everything an act of god?
Tech: no only storms.
Me: your kidding me, well I have my warranty right here and it says nothing about acts of god.
Tech: if you read your warranty you'll see that it does.
Me: (proceeds to read the warranty out loud) it says nothing about acts of god.
Tech: let me get my supervisor.
Me: yeah I think that would be a good idea.
Supervisor: hello, you need a new modem?
Me: yes.
Supervisor: I'll send you one right away it'll be there by wednseday.
Me: thank you very much.
Supervisor: how was the support you received?
Me: Terrible, your staff, is impossible to understand, rude and incompetent (I proceed to tell him about the last 3 calls).

So anyways I'm getting my modem, but seriously it shouldn't have been such a hassle.....


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: Gillette]
    #4570023 -

Hmm. Back when I had a Dell (my only PC, I swear on Macs) - I lost everything due to the chernobyl virus and I actually had the best tech support experience ever that night with Dell.

But in the last couple of years, they've gone to shit.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: Gillette]
    #4570042 -

The magic of outsourcing! You get some Indian dude with poor social skills who talks down to you.

If you needed a new modem then wouldn't you call customer service instead of tech support?

If I get someone who talks to me like I'm a moron then I just hang up and wait for somebody who doesn't... but that can take a while :smirk:


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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: Gillette]
    #4570043 -

I think you'll find it's that way now with all the major PC makers :frown:

Being an ex-tech myself, I know how to play the system to get whatever you want...and of course I'll tell you how :wink:

Just pretend to do anything they ask you, and tell them it didn't work!

These guys are not qualified to be fixing anyone's computer. They all follow scripts and processes to "fix" your computer. They have to follow those processes or they get fired (like I did, lol) so arguing with them will rarely get you anything more than a headache.

But once you understand that they have to follow these "troubleshooting" processes...you can use that to your advantage!

Just call up, and pretend to do everything you are asked.

Tech: ok go to device manager, query your modem.
Me: OK....I clicked on "query" but it comes back and says "MODEM ERROR"...what does that mean?

Just make up some BS...they won't know the difference. If they try everything in their little flowchart and nothing works...the next step is to send you a replacement. If you can get them to that step, they will gladly send you out a new one (even if just to get you off their phone).

Trust me on this one - most of them don't know and don't care what's really wrong with your computer. Give them made-up error messages and they'll get confused and send you a part. :wink:


As a side note...drtyfrnk was once on a conference call with a "technician" from Best Buy. He told the "technician" that "her modem is disfunctuated" (a word we had made up several days earlier). The "tech" thought about this for a few seconds and said "oh, right! I see what the problem is, now! Thanks!" :smirk:

They don't know, and don't care.


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: mantis]
    #4570047 -

If you needed a new modem then wouldn't you call customer service instead of tech support?

These companies simply don't have a "customer service" department anymore. All technical calls are sent to their outsourced "tech support".

Yes, it is usually in India.


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: trendal]
    #4570051 -

Damn, they actually make you follow instructions like a robot? I thought they tried to fix it with their own knowledge then used a help wizard if that failed. No wonder they come off as complete idiots.

Shows how much I know...


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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: trendal]
    #4570053 -

Dell sucks :smirk:


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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: mantis]
    #4570059 -

So does Gateway. And HP.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: trendal]
    #4570063 -

yeah tech support and customer service is the same number....believe me if I could have just called like an order desk I would have.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: mantis]
    #4570069 -

Lol yeah man, seriously!

My fist day of "training" was an utter shock! I thought I'd be working with a bunch of fellow computer-geeks...boy was I wrong!

There was one lady in my class who didn't know how to surf the web. Over a year and a half later....she's still working there (while I, overqualified, get fired)!!!

Easily 80% or more of the "tech agents" you get on the phone have no idea what is actually wrong with your computer. If it's something that isn't part of their flowcharts...they won't know what to do and will probably send your computer for an unneeded bench-repair.

It really makes the job shitty for the 10-15% of agents who actually know what they're doing. First, they are constrained in what they can do because of the management decision to force agents to use whatever "tools" the corporation has provided. Second, because they have to spend over 50% of their time just fixing all the mistakes made by the "pulled off the street" agents who don't know shit.

I was contatly harrassed by management in my 1.5 years with my last job for "not following your processes". Excuse me for actually wanting to fix someone's computer :rolleyes:

Ask drtyfrnk sometime...I could fix 99% of all my calls within 10-15 minutes and have a HAPPY CUSTOMER to boot. Yet I was passed over for promotion, passed over for a raise, and eventually fired.

These computer companies don't give a shit about their customers...as long as they find suckers to keep buying their POS units. They don't want actual tech agents (cause hey...you've got to pay them more if they actually know what they're doing!). They want obediant talking-heads to sit on the phone and walk customers through the corporate-approved "flowchart to troubleshooting".

It's sick, really.


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: Gillette]
    #4570073 -

"I don't have a screwdriver."  Haha.  That made me laugh out loud.

:thumbup: :heart:

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: Gillette]
    #4570079 -

Just don't buy name-brand computers anymore, gill :wink:

Ask someone around here who knows how to build a computer to help you buy the parts and build one. Not only will you get a superior product (that doesn't break every time there's a little thunderstorm) but you'll probably get it for significantly cheaper than most name-brand computers you will find! (the exception is the $399 wall-mart specials....you get what you pay for...)

Shit, toss in a 12-pack of cold beers and I'll make the trip up to TO to build one for you :smirk:


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: trendal]
    #4570086 -

I love it when people ask me "What kind of computer do you have" and I explain that I built it from parts i chose. "Yeah, but what KIND is it?" I'm usually like "Well, the Motherboard is a Biostar M7NCD Pro and it's an Athlon XP 2500 CPU"

They're usually like this ---> :confused:

I ditched computers as a profession because I despise most computer geeks and I want to do something outdoors, it's still nice to be able to do things for yourself.


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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: trendal]
    #4570090 -

The best so-called "tech support" I've ever been given was from the people at Compaq (SUCK ASS) and even then it took them like 2 weeks to fix my computer and ship it back to me.

I've since bought a Dell and it's only messed up once on me badly enough that I had to call tech support. Besides being incredibly hard to understand and having to call back multiple times like you experienced, I FINALLY got the help I needed.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: mantis]
    #4570095 -

Yeah I've made up my mind NOT to join the computer world as a profession :smirk:

"It is best, it seems to me, to separate one's inner striving from one's trade as far as possible. It is not good when one's daily break is tied to God's special blessing." -- Albert Einstein


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: idiotek]
    #4570096 -

I think the best tech support I've got is from Comcast and half the time they're just as bad as the rest.


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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: trendal]
    #4570099 -

That's a wonderful quote, trendal.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: mantis]
    #4570100 -

That story really struck me as funny when you got to the part about

the screwdriver.  A week ago, my cable modem got struck by lightning

and something happened to the network card inside the computer, or

something like that.  We took the computer to the guys where my mom

works.  They are supposedly "computer people."  They called us the

next day and said they got the card they needed but they didn't have

a screwdriver to open the computer with.  :confused:

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Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: idiotek]
    #4570105 -

:lol:

I'll provide tech-support to anyone who calls me, for a small fee. I speak perfect English and actually know how to fix computers.

Let's make it a flat rate: $20 per call.


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Dell Tech Support [Re: WeAreAllOne]
    #4570116 -

ok I do have a screwdriver....I just didn't have one at the time and I wanted them to send someone to fix it, needless to say Blink and I opened up the stupid thing....however it did take many screwdrivers to find one that wasn't all fucked up.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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Shop: Myyco.com Golden Teacher Liquid Culture For Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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