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Invisiblep4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
Socially Rejected by Girls
    #4249769 - 06/02/05 09:34 PM (12 years, 24 days ago)

I have this little problem with social issues considering girls. I don't get nervous anymore and don't have a problem with being confident. The problem is like I just can never say the right thing. I just don't know what to say, I feel random. I cant think fast enough with a good response. Lets say a girl thinks I'm cute (from friends telling me) but then when she talks to me they always end up not liking me. I feel like I'm rejected by every girl I see, like I'm under some sort of spell. I wish I could think allot faster. help?


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Offlineblkhole
Comfortably Numb

Registered: 08/09/04
Posts: 104
Loc: Tinpan Alley
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4249832 - 06/02/05 09:46 PM (12 years, 24 days ago)

I feel like I have the same problem - I never know what to say. I don't know if I'm just not confident in myself due to a few years of ridicule, but I seem to have the worst luck with girls. I just can't figure out what to do about, cause I have no idea what I'm doing wrong.


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With our love, we could save the world, if they only knew...
-George Harrison R.I.P.

http://irevolution.org


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Invisiblemoog
Stranger

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 1,296
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4250110 - 06/02/05 10:57 PM (12 years, 24 days ago)

You got it backwards. You have to get in the right state of mind first, then talk. If a girl likes you, the hardest part of getting with the girl is already done. Just think about how much you want to make out with her or fuck her. That'll put you in the right state. Think about sucking on her tits or whatever will make you horny for her. When you're in the sexual state, your body language speaks for you. What you say isn't important. What's more important is body language. Your body language has to convey that you're confident, dominant, and that you're ready to fuck her right where you two are. As long as it's not overly boring or creepy, you can seriously say whatever the fuck you want to her. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT.

"I cant think fast enough with a good response. " "I wish I could think allot faster. "

Man, you shouldn't be thinking about what to say at all. If you have to think about what to say, you're not in the right state of mind. Period. You shouldn't be thinking about anything but fucking her brains out right there. If you're in that state of mind the answers will just flow. When you're horny and talking to a girl you'll convey many things to her without saying them outloud. And this is exactly what girls want. A lot of things will be said subconsciously, through your body language and tone of voice. This is how girls vibe with guys, it's what flirting is all about. All feelings are conveyed on a subconscious level and NEVER need to be stated outloud.

Make strong eye contact. Slow down your speech. Lower your eyelids. And things will flow.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Happy Mutant

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,279
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4250284 - 06/02/05 11:33 PM (12 years, 24 days ago)

It's a numbers game, really. Get out there and meet more girls, and soon you'll meet the right one. Plus, you'll gain experience and begin to have more confidence in yourself. You'll never find one with a defeatist attitude. Chicks seem to sense this very well....


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4250449 - 06/03/05 12:07 AM (12 years, 24 days ago)

Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
It's a numbers game, really. Get out there and meet more girls, and soon you'll meet the right one. Plus, you'll gain experience and begin to have more confidence in yourself. You'll never find one with a defeatist attitude. Chicks seem to sense this very well....



Chicks can smell lack of confidence like dogs can smell fear.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4250649 - 06/03/05 01:00 AM (12 years, 24 days ago)

"Chicks can smell lack of confidence like dogs can smell fear. "
True dat

Its not just you. I'm hella akward around chicks too. I try to be myself, but they can tell i'm not confident, and therefor usually ignore me, and flirt with any dude that will treat them like an asshole.


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Offlineegghead1
Nakedly Open

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 931
Loc: The Womb of Love
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: p4kSouL]
    #4251667 - 06/03/05 11:03 AM (12 years, 24 days ago)

Most girls love assholes, be a confident, arrogant prick, and you'll have chick, queing up to suck your dick. Ask them questions about them, so as to direct the conversation away from you, all the while you can fantasize about doing them doggy style, until they stop talking, then ask another question, rinse and repeat. That just my two cents anyway. Love em, fuck em and leave em. Remember chicks LOVE arrogant assholes, ACT like one around women, and just like the Alpha male with Gorlillas, you'll be getting all the pussy.  :heart:


--------------------
All you need is Love! Really thats it! Infinite Unconditional Love! Just develop that and all else will fall into place perfectly!


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,381
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: Le_Canard]
    #4251800 - 06/03/05 12:11 PM (12 years, 24 days ago)

Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
It's a numbers game, really. Get out there and meet more girls, and soon you'll meet the right one. Plus, you'll gain experience and begin to have more confidence in yourself. You'll never find one with a defeatist attitude. Chicks seem to sense this very well....




I'm a chick myself, but confidence does seem to draw us in like a moth to a flame.  :wink:

p4kSoul: It sounds like your communication skills could use a boost.  I don't know if this is possible for you, but when I took a speech class in college it helped me quite a great deal socially. 

Here is something I just found:

Ten Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills

We all have people with whom we have to work to get things done.  Our ability to communicate with clients, customers, subordinates, peers, and superiors can enhance our effectiveness or sabotage us.  Many times, our verbal skills make the difference.  Here are 10 ways to increase your verbal efficacy at work:


Develop your voice ? A high whiney voice is not perceived to be one of authority.  In fact, a high soft voice can make you sound like prey to an aggressive co-worker who is out to make his/her career at the expense of anyone else.  Begin doing exercises to lower the pitch of your voice.  Here is one to start:  Sing ? but do it an octave lower on all your favorite songs.  Practice this and, after a period of time, your voice will begin to lower.

Slow down ? People will perceive you as nervous and unsure of yourself if you talk fast.  However, be careful not to slow down to the point where people begin to finish your sentences just to help you finish.

Animate your voice ? Avoid a monotone.  Use dynamics.  Your pitch should raise and lower.  Your volume should be soft and loud.  Listen to your local TV news anchor; take notes.

Enunciate your words ? Speak clearly.  Don?t mumble.  If people are always saying, ?huh,? to you, you are mumbling.

Use appropriate volume ? Use a volume that is appropriate for the setting.  Speak more softly when you are alone and close.  Speak louder when you are speaking to larger groups or across larger spaces.

Pronounce your words correctly ? People will judge your competency through your vocabulary.  If you aren?t sure how to say a word, don?t use it.

Use the right words ? If you?re not sure of the meaning of a word, don?t use it.  Start a program of learning a new word a day.  Use it sometime in your conversations during the day.

Make eye contact ? I know a person who is very competent in her job.  However, when she speaks to individuals or groups, she does so with her eyes shut.  When she opens them periodically, she stares off in a direction away from the listener.  She is perceived as incompetent by those with whom she consults.  One technique to help with this is to consciously look into one of the listener?s eyes and then move to the other.  Going back and forth between the two (and I hope they only have two) makes your eyes appear to sparkle.  Another trick is to imagine a letter ?T? on the listener?s face with the cross bar being an imaginary line across the eye brows and the vertical line coming down the center of the nose.  Keep your eyes scanning that ?T? zone.
Use gestures ? Make your whole body talk.  Use smaller gestures for individuals and small groups.  The gestures should get larger as the group that one is addressing increases in size.

Don?t send mixed messages ? Make your words, gestures, facial expressions, tone, and message match.  Disciplining an employee while smiling sends a mixed message and, therefore, is ineffective.  If you have to deliver a negative message, make your words, facial expressions, and tone match the message.


Good luck...hope these tips can help you.  :heart:


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InvisibleVeritas
 User Gallery
Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 11,088
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: MOTH]
    #4251929 - 06/03/05 12:57 PM (12 years, 24 days ago)

p4ksoul:

It would help to know what your goal is in meeting women. Most of the posts you've had in response have assumed that you are just trying to get laid. Perhaps that is accurate.

If you are interested in developing a relationship with a woman, the first step is to get to know her as a friend. Ask her questions about who she is, what she believes, what her goals are. Tell her the same things about yourself. Unless she is a game-player, you do not need to be dazzlingly clever. If she is interested in what you tell her about yourself, she will want to spend time with you.

If you do just want to get laid, you have already gotten lots of male advice on that subject. Go for it. The methods recommmended by others will surely gain you a sex partner who shares your desire for sport fucking.


Edited by Veritas (06/03/05 04:34 PM)


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Offlineryanvergel
qdbpqdbp
Male

Registered: 05/14/05
Posts: 518
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: Veritas]
    #4252401 - 06/03/05 04:04 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

I'm weird/awkward as hell, and girls seem to love me.

Just how you carry yourself. if you're confident, they don't care if you're weird or nerdy or geeky.


--------------------
So it goes.


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OfflineGus
Back in town.

Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: Veritas]
    #4252734 - 06/03/05 05:37 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Sure he got some advices already but IMO theyre not good.

'' Be sure to think about how much you want to fuck her while you're talking to her'' What the hell man?
Thats the best example I ever saw of projection.
Guy thinks: Hey I like it so much when a girl approaches me with 'Damn Id like to fuck you so bad' stamped on their forehead. If I like that, girls like that too. Hey we're both human beings right ? :smirk:
That would probably work if you're hitting on ugly chicks, but if you're after sexy chicks thats definatly not a good approach. She's accustomed of that kind of attention from guys, she tought all her life ( and shes probably right ) that she can get sex whenever she wants it.

Be different, she's sexy... so what ? Theres millions of sexy girls out there. Try to make her know its not a big deal for you and dont be intimidated ( start by trying to hide it, like I did ) And please dont kiss her ass. Dont pay the fucking bill after your first date, thats the worst IMO.
Its almost like saying: Hey I dont have any balls and I think you're so much better than me that Im paying for your compagny. Please love me :grin: You get the point.
Be a challenge!


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InvisibleSociety
Pizza Guy

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 13,974
Loc: Eating pizza
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: Gus]
    #4255209 - 06/04/05 09:51 AM (12 years, 23 days ago)

I got excited when I saw my username in the post topic.

Everyone else seems to have some varying advice which would work for different people. For me, I learned to stop caring about what people think, but the trick is, I act like I care.

Then again, this is probably really unhealthy, but I guess you shouldn't worry too much about what others think. If a girl cares too much about your word choice, then maybe she's not a girl worth wasting time with.


--------------------
Delicious Pizza


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InvisibleFreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada Flag
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: Gus]
    #4255216 - 06/04/05 09:58 AM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Quote:

paying for your compagny*.






* That's company Frenchie, get it STR8 :wink:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"



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Invisiblelooner2
ABBA fan

Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 3,849
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #4255249 - 06/04/05 10:15 AM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Keep your pain deep inside and secretly breed an unhealthy misogynist view of all women. Let their temptations scorn and burn your fragile heart until one day while walking down the street you snap and snatch up a pretty little vixen, take her back to your home and feast on her corpse for dinner.


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I am in love with Acidic_Sloth



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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: looner2]
    #4255288 - 06/04/05 10:29 AM (12 years, 23 days ago)

why not. the thing about girls liking confidence is about the subconscious


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youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


Edited by question_for_joo (06/05/05 04:15 PM)


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,381
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: question_for_joo]
    #4255579 - 06/04/05 12:52 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Uh....don't think so.


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InvisibleHeavyToilet
The Heaviest OfThem All
Male

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 9,458
Loc: British Columbia
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: MOTH]
    #4255580 - 06/04/05 12:53 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

:lol:


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Invisiblequestion_for_joo
i'm left. youall can bite me
Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 1,591
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: MOTH]
    #4255629 - 06/04/05 01:16 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

ok well what is it about then?

i mean, women say men are shallow, that they just want some big tits and a nice ass. so women's desire for confident partner must be something equally evil then, right.


--------------------
youi was a pig informatnt so you can go fuckyoruselfs


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Offlineegghead1
Nakedly Open

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 931
Loc: The Womb of Love
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: question_for_joo]
    #4255656 - 06/04/05 01:31 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Some of the most shallow people i have ever met have been women.


--------------------
All you need is Love! Really thats it! Infinite Unconditional Love! Just develop that and all else will fall into place perfectly!


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,381
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Socially Rejected by Girls [Re: question_for_joo]
    #4255692 - 06/04/05 01:46 PM (12 years, 23 days ago)

Yep, women and men are both evil...because they are both HUMAN BEINGS. No matter what sex, age, race, orientation you are...there will be people who are shallow fuckers. That's why it's silly to say, "all men are dicks" or "all women are heartless bitches" because no matter where you go there are people who have bad attitudes.

Quote:

question_for_joo said:
ok well what is it about then?

i mean, women say men are shallow, that they just want some big tits and a nice ass. so women's desire for confident partner must be something equally evil then, right.




I believe it has something to do with our animal nature. People don't give it enough credit. In the wild all sorts of reproduction dramas play out as many creatures strive to attain the best possible mate. For instance, many male birds are brightly colored to attract female interest. The more bright and healthy the feathers, the more interest garnered for mating.

The women liking confidence thing is similar. You are putting on a show (your bright feathers) to attract her interest as a potential mate.

Men like attractive women because attractive often means healthy, and the healthier the female speciman the more likely the males progeny will thrive. In the wild, this is very, very important.

In our modern world, survival of progeny isn't really an issue, but the drive to mate with a certain type of individual seems to have remained.

What I'm saying is that there are primal forces at work with human mating that we scarcely acknowledge or understand.


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